Telekinesis
Princess Celestia was known to all as a paragon of patience. She had sat through countless hours of day court filled with nothing but petty squabbles between nobles that didn't deserve their titles. Even when the court cases could have been settled by a five year old, she still sat and listened and helped everyone involved resolve the issues peacefully. She had been to many stressful negotiations between countries and no matter how heated the debating got, she was always the coolest head in the room. It is even rumored that when she fought the Lord of Chaos himself alongside her sister, the world spinning and warping around them, she never lost focus. She had been through so much in her time, but in the end she managed to weather it all and come out on the other side still wearing that iconic motherly smile.
What many don't know though, is that there is a being that can make the Goddess of the Sun lose her cool. One being that can truly get under her skin.
"Anonymous?"
"Yes, Sunny?"
"Could you please stop?"
"No can do, Sunbutt."
"And why is that?"
"Because Luna said I needed to practice my telekinesis."
"I understand that," Celestia said, "but why must you practice on the cake that I am currently trying to enjoy? You know they make toys for foals to practice on, right?"
Anon's answer was postponed as he once again lifted his hand from the table and pointed it in the direction of the aforementioned slice of chocolate cake. As the human visibly concentrated, a green glow began emanating from his fingertips and the same glow surrounded the frosted desert. It slowly began to hover off the plate, but it only lifted up an inch before Celestia's horn lit up and cut off the human's magical connection to the cake.
Just like with all of his previous failed attempts, Anon let out a pained hiss and yanked his hand back. The cake fell back to the plate without losing even a single sprinkle.
"Because I'm hungry," he finally said, shaking his hand in an attempt to restore feeling in his fingers.
"Then why don't you order something? You have full access to the kitchens. You could even get your own slice of cake, instead of harassing mine."
"Nope, it's gotta be yours," Anon said matter-of-factly.
"And why is that?"
The human responded after another failed attempt.
"Because I'm trying to save you from the calories in that cake. That stuff is bad for you, ya know."
"Was that a jab at my weight?" Celestia asked with an amused smirk.
"Of course not. Who would insinuate that a Princess of Equestria had big flanks? Not this guy."
Anon hissed in pain at another failed attempt.
"Oh, then what were you insinuating?"
"All I'm saying is that whoever sits on the Horselandian throne has a fat ass."
"Oh, I see. And I assume Horseland and Equestria are two totally separate nations?"
"Duh. They're totally different. There are as many differences between the two as there are people in each country."
"Really? Can you give an example of these differences?"
Another failed attempt. Anon had tried to pull a fast one, but two days of practice yielded no results when facing centuries of daily magical usage. By this point, he was clearly starting to get frustrated.
"Well, for one, a Horselandian princess would share her cake with me," he said.
"I guess it's a good thing I'm not a Horselandian then."
This time the sting from magical cutoff was more acute, causing Anon to yelp slightly.
"Has my sister taught you about magical stilling yet?" Celestia asked.
Anon sat up straighter and took on a mocking regal accent. "Magical stilling iseth the acteth of stopping the floweth of magic in another beingeth." Dropping the accent, he began speaking normally. "It's what you're doing every time I try to take your cake." He emphasized his point by making another attempt to steal the dessert, which was promptly stopped by Celestia's own magical power.
"While you are correct," she said, "I don't think she would appreciate you mocking the way she speaks. She tries hard to be understandable in what amounts to a language that is totally separate from the one she is used to."
"Before you go preaching, you try listening to her attempts at explaining abstract magical concepts in thous and royal wes. Patience only goes so far, Sunbutt."
"Oh, I fully agree on that," Celestia said as she defended her cake once again. "Has Luna told you that magical stilling can be harmful to those being stilled? If someone is stilled while casting a strong spell, the magical backlash could destroy the magical circulatory system and permanently cripple their ability to cast magic. Even being stilled while using smaller spells could theoretically harm the use of magic if done enough times in a short period of time."
"Really? Maybe you should stop stilling me, then. Wouldn't want to lose my magic so soon after getting it," Anon said nonchalantly.
He tried to take the cake before hissing in pain once again.
"Didn't you once tell me that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?"
"I'm here to steal your cake, not get lectured. If I wanted another one of those, I'd go wake up your sister."
Anon's fingers lit up under the table this time, away from the princess' prying eye. One of the knickknacks on the shelves behind the alicorn floated from its resting position and slammed a few times on the chamber doors before flying off to land on the bed without making a noise. What he didn't know was that Celestia could feel the flow of magic in her sensitive horn. She had to hand it to him though, he pulled off that little stunt without showing a single hint that he was the cause behind it.
"I wonder who that could be," the human said with a straight face.
"It must be one of the guards," Celestia said as she stood from her seat. She opened the door and stuck her head out to see who had 'knocked'.
Making sure Celestia couldn't see him, Anon took his chance and reached out to levitate the cake across the table to himself. Before he could concentrate on it however, the two front legs of his chair glowed in a golden aura and lifted. Anon yelped in surprise. The seat leaned backwards and dumped its human occupant onto the floor unceremoniously.
Celestia pulled her head back into the room, horn glowing for a second longer as she made her way back to her seat.
"Noone was there. They must have had the wrong room," she said, acting like nothing had changed since she'd stood up.
She picked up the fork that had come with her desert and quickly took the first bite of delicious cake, humming at the delightful taste. It was only after this that she 'realized' the room's other occupant wasn't where he should be.
"Oh, Anonymous! When did you get here?" she asked with a playful smirk.
She only got a defeated groan in return.
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Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I'm sure Anon will learn that... eventually
Interesting.
I kinda hope that most of the future chapters will just be anon using more ridiculous and convoluted schemes using a new spell to steal Celestia's cake.
I really am interested to see how Anon's abilities develop.
Well color me intrigued here is a like and a follow I'm looking forward to more shenanigans
Nice concept! Try alchemy. Not chemical based, but him trying to turn everything into gold Midas style. You could do light magic were he tells Celly its easier then she says it is.
This was fun, although I'm a little annoyed at the lack of a name. It's not hard to pick a real name, especially since you can make amusing references to real people or other characters, or you can go for maximum shenanigans with the Asian name Yu to troll both the characters and the second person fics.
This is good.