After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...

Warning:

Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

[img]http://s33.postimg.org/7bfqvgx33/Butler.png[/img]

"My lady once wrote in her very personal and very secret diary that I have problems appreciating personal space. I beg to differ on that sentiment." - A Butler commenting on Professional Discretion -

I'm a Butler. My friends, the imaginary ones at least, call me Butler. My job, looking after my lady, can be...challenging at times, but rewarding. Lately the job's become a little more difficult, especially after my lady's sister returned from the moon and the parliament decided to try and pass an entire bill just to be able to legally get rid of me. But managing the chaos is part of the job description, even if it means I must secretly become my lady's knight captain of her personal bodyguards in order to keep my job. Though even I could never have anticipated having to train knights cunningly disguised as maids to stay one step ahead of the nobles. Ah, the things I do for my princess.

Featured 9 - 12 August 2014. Many many thanks to everyone who kindly made this possible! You guys have doubled the fun!

Now featuring the editing talents of our resident editor Dumbgamer99. Be sure to thank him by checking out his page and giving him a follow!

Butler tag kindly made by undead003. Many thanks! (You'll find it actually works if you click on it.)

Cover Art: This picture totally contains ninjas. You just can't see them, cause they're that good.

Salt is a terrible substance. Once a pony starts licking it, they can't stop.
It takes a truly brave soul to leave it behind...

This is an Anonymous in Equestria story. Please demonstrate your ability to read by not pointing it out an infinite number of times in the comment section. Thank you.

What happens when something crafted by a creature with no real care for material things is taken from him? Nopony else knew the answer either. But they found out. Oh... They found out.

Rated 'Everyone' because EVERYONE needs a good knock in the teeth!

Enjoy!

Featured on Equestria Daily April 2, 2015! *face melts*

Anonymous, a twenty-two years old musician, is somehow transported to Equestria. He must learn to adapt to this new world. Communication with the ponies will be hard, he doesn't speak the same language as they do.

The story will be centered around Anonymous' interactions with the Mane 6 and a few of the background ponies, notably Lyra and BonBon.

The only human in Equestria has an awkward time in a bar. Mostly due to the massive language barrier.

Twilight, seeing that her friend needed a little bit of companionship, decided to help him get a date.

But boy, did he aim a little too high for her taste.

Now, her and Spike need to help this putz of a human snatch a date from one of the most undateable beings on the planet, Princess Celestia.

Needless to say, they're doomed.

Cover art used with permission by Lydia-Rawr

Warning: Story will contain horrible romance clichés, cutsieness, and all around silliness.

You have been warned.

When Carrot Top discovers that her coltfriend is cheating on her, her first reaction is to kick him to next Monday. The fact that at the moment her coltfriend is attending Blueblood's birthday party doesn't seem to convince her otherwise.

The good news, her friends are all there to get her out of trouble.

The bad news, her friends are all a bunch of sociopaths.

Proofreading by:

• The-baas
• Rainshine
• Selbi (Chapter 2 onwards)
• Neko Majin C

Mix a New Years party with plenty of booze and a night so great you'll never remember it, and what you might just get is an unexpected surprise sharing your bed when you wake up.

Awesome cover art found here.