• Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday


An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.


What happens when something crafted by a creature with no real care for material things is taken from him? Nopony else knew the answer either. But they found out. Oh... They found out.

Rated 'Everyone' because EVERYONE needs a good knock in the teeth!


Featured on Equestria Daily April 2, 2015! *face melts*

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 598 )

I guess from the title we all know how this ends, right? :-) Very funny. I like it so far.

Twilight you colossal tit.

Yup. This isn't going to end well for Twilight.

But it will for me.


this is actually pretty great.

Do continue.

Discord punches Twilight in the face?

*likes, favorites, and grabs popcorn*

Shyamalan twist
that punch is actually a kiss and this story was DiscoLight since beginning:pinkiehappy:

I love how you didn't instantly show us what we wanted to see (Discord punching Twilight) and explained why it would make sense and made us want to see twilight get punched in the face. You also forced the people who want to see the afromentioned happen favorite or bookmark the story because it will have at least another chapter. You colossal prick.

I hope that tomorrow suits you:fluttercry:


The hilarious thing is that Twilight's obsession with Discord's diary actually would work as a setup for DiscoLight.

Im tired, I usually have that.

4697953 Why did I imagine Discord and Twilight having a sweet rave party?

Falcon Punch incoming! :twilightoops:

And stealing books, Twilight?

Tut-tut. I'm ashamed of you.

That's the curse of being scientifically inclined. The need to know, to understand. Regardless of any possible consequences. This is very interesting and I hope it keeps its balance of being slightly profound in the thoughts of Chaos and funny in his quest to gain it back.

I totally missed the "incomplete" tag and when I got to the end I was utterly confuzzled. But now I'm ok.

Oh Twi what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. Can't wait for more of this, seems like an original and interesting concept.

First chapter, and this is already absolutely hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Congrats on the feature, too! :twilightsmile:

inb4 discord punches twilight so hard she breaks into the powerpuff girls

This is the kind of shit that this website needs more of.
Badass Discord? Check.
Spike finally manning up? Check.
Awesomesauce? Check.

After Discord rips the world apart looking for his book, there'll be a line for punching Twilight in the face. I think Celestia and Luna will probably take multiple turns.

I just realized, Discord said he was going to punch the one who took his book in the face. He never said how many times :pinkiecrazy:

This is pretty great. You write a pretty good Discord, despite him being in a mental place we never see him in in canon.

A few things: You have quite a few mistakes, mistaken wordings, wrong conjugations and apparently, mergings of two similar, but different sentences.

A few that stick out:

"pissed" strikes me as not the kind of word Discord would use. A subtler, menacing "upset" seems more him. Same for "unbunch your thong". Just doesn't strike me as an expression he would use.

Also, it seems more Discord to menacingly, but quietly say "will pay" instead of shouting it loud enough to ruin eardrums.

Still, good stuff. Have a like. Happy writing.

I love your badass discord. So many forget that he is extremely old and he's more than a stupid goof.
When's the next chapter?

Part of me wants to know why Twilight wants to know what Discord knows he thinks of her.

I can already picture what would happen if Discord finds Twilight and punches her in the face. I bet he'll summon Chris Tucker out from another dimension so he'll go..."You got knocked the Fu** out!" :rainbowlaugh:

As seen here!

That settles it... I'm hooked.
Now give us more:pinkiehappy:

I so hope he punches her so hard she either flies through the wall or out of the blasted universe. :rainbowdetermined2:
I have a dislike for someone that would do what she did with my personal and private thoughts and memories. :ajbemused:

Very nice! Writing is as velvety on the eyeballs as it always is, although I caught a fair few typos. The one thing I'm quite iffy on is the tone, which seems a little haphazard - you got the slice of lifey comedy that's always a charm to read, with the hard edges of seriousness that make it all feel a little uneven. I think the title of the story kinda sells it badly, honestly.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

and congrats on the feature, ya magnificent bastard



This... this is...


Tenoutaten! Twothumbsup! Nobel prize for this ARTIST! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Man, I could create a group for how many "character fucks up another character/thing" stories. It's odd how they are usually all enjoyable.

Friendship is painful, isn't it, Twi? :trollestia:

Amazing! Just Amazing!!!! :pinkiehappy: Can't wait for more!! :flutterrage::twilightsheepish:

At first I avoided this story because well, the title is sort of a plot giveaway for starters and two, I figured with a title like "Discord punches Twilight in the face" It was going to be some half-baked one-shot with the last line being "And Discord slammed his fist into the Alicorn's nose, The end."

Imagine my delight at how well written the first paragraph was and how comical this is setting up to be!:pinkiehappy:

"Don't judge a book by its cover" is the proverb that comes to mind with this chapter.:twilightsmile:

Fav'd and thumbs up'd!

i expected something light and humorous, this was heavy and humorous, not sure how to proceed

:twilightangry2::Your fucking welcome for rescuing you from Tirek you ungrateful asshole!

So Twilight is going to be punched in the face. Well we're all looking forward to that, but where in the face will she be punched?

Unimaginative I know, but I'm running low on gin.

Wow ...... that's deep ....... really deep

Finally, Discord gave a smile. “Oh, unbunch your thong, princess, I don’t blame either of you.”

Celestia blinked. “I… Unbunch my wha--”

Discord must really be thinking about dat flank.:moustache:

You know, it's things like him being rescued from Tirek at all that make that book so special to him. When you can literally conjure up anything, the things that you actually put effort into become that much more meaningful. It's not like he's bringing the apocalypse or anything. He just wants to find one pony who took his most precious possession and punch them in the face. And then it'll be even. This has nothing to do with him being evil and everything to do with how much the friendships that saved him actually mean to him. Cut the guy a break.

because marijuana.

I'm in.:derpytongue2:

4700640 Yea but Twilight would never do this :unsuresweetie:

Out of all the stories I've read, this has GOT to be one of the best.

<- is waiting for the extreme punching to happen.
Hey, when he DOES punch her, make him punch her through a few dimensions. Why? To teach her to never steal his things EVER again.

From the title, I was expecting a short, humorous one shot. Instead, I find one of the best damn stories I've ever read.



Twilight would totally do this. (She has no idea he's this attached to it. He left it in an archive, right? An archive is a library, right? Libraries are for taking books out, right? No one would ever leave a book in an archive if they didn't want it taken out... right? {eyetwitch})

Seriously. She didn't do it to be mean to Discord (frankly it halfway sounds like she did it because she's secretly in love with Discord, from lines like "what he thinks about me... US! I mean us!") She did it without thinking, because it is a book, and she's not used to Discord caring about or being serious about anything, so how is she supposed to know that he's halfway to destroying the world to get it back? ;-)

Grammatical errors here and there, but nothing that brought flow to a screeching halt.
The opening with Celestia and her tail had me laughing aloud while alone. Congrats on that. :moustache:
And honestly, I kinda want to side with Twilight; you've made the book so enthralling, the author so mysterious, and given us so little of it, I desperately want to read it myself. No wonder Twilight is obsessed.
I'd give you my pipe and hope this updates soon, but you should take your time with this. I know it'll be as fantastic a read as this has been :pinkiehappy:

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