Twilight Sparkle decides to travel back in time to re-live her life in Ponyville.
And to fix all of the problems.
With varying degrees of success.
Chapters (13)
- Member Since 23rd Feb, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 14th, 2023
akajulester
currently stuDYING in college
akajulester
Joined 23rd Feb, 2014 ·
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I think I've read this before...
6390448 I did post the password to the unpublished version. You might also be thinking of Take Two and/or A Second Chance, both of which inspired me to write my own. If you find anything too similar to both stories, I'll gladly edit it.
Wow this is probably the first twilight-travels-through-time-to-make-her-life-better-using-the-knowledge-of-what's-to-come-fic that everything does not go completely according to plan right at the get go.
Just shows you how a few minor changes can affect the time stream no?
Compared to Naruto, MLP does not have that many time travel to make life better fics.
I know Naruto on fanfiction.net has like 100.
6441017 Yeah time is a pretty fickle concept that changes all the time. LIKE SCIENCE
6441175 Probably due to the availability of space-time jutsu no doubt.
6441341
Also in a series like Naruto, characters die so there is more of an incentive to "undo what once went wrong".
6442690 I actually support the theory/paradox that it's impossible to go back in time AND change an event. Why? Well, let's say you save your dad from being killed or some shit. Once you go back to the present, he'll still be dead, as his dying is what caused you to go to the past. You would never have had to go back and change it. There's also a book or something about that, where the main character attempts to fix shit, but it never stays.
Well this went as well as expected...I was actually hoping the entire pilot would get thrown out the window due to twilight's foreknowledge, damn it thought you had to stick to the script.
6443713 AAAAHHHHH I"M SO SORRY
If you want I could edit it. To be honest, I actually wasn't completely satisfied with it myself, but I had the nagging feeling that it was sounding like A Second Chance, so I opened a tab and read its chapter about Nightmare, and tried my best not to make it look like I was stealing its ideas.
I was toying with the choice of unpublishing it and rewriting the ending, and your comment is kinda pushing me to do so. I just wanted to see what my readers thought first. Thanks!
6443900 Personally I was toying with the idea of an ending where twilight purifies Nightmare Moon without the elements, thus never using them in the first place. This opens up a ton of alternate ways that not just the pilot could go but the battle with discord (the only other time the elements were actually used) as well as Chrysalis (twilight not trying to go get the elements due to them never being reactivated in the first place and instead maybe trying talk/fight her instead.) This could also lead to a complete new situations thus keep in tune with the idea you had in the description...the part where twilight gradually alters the timeline with her foreknowledge making her foreknowledge almost useless this time around.
6444193 hmmmmmm... I like that scenario! If you want, I could message you the password for the unpublished chapter.
6447691 Well okay then...
Why didn't Twilight stop RD or AJ using a shield or telekinesis?
6448354 She grabbed Applejack, and the Rainbow thing was that she was too shocked.
6390459 A Second Chance, while not without its flaws, was an excellent tale.
Early Alicorn Twilight??
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/310/376/0ce.png
6448829 Correction: it had an excellent premise and idea, but started using absurd amounts of filler, and then fell apart when Future Twilight had all of the blame shifted to her instead of Present Twilight for her reprehensible actions. Fluttershy and Applejack than forgave her unforgivable actions after a few chapters, even though AJ was pretty fucking pissed over Twilight's lying, and Fluttershy was so fucking pissed at Twilight FOR KILLING OFF ENTIRE SPECIES OF CREATURES IN THE EVERFREE FORREST THAT SHE BUCKING SLAPPED HER!!! Also, the latter Twilight's defense for Discord was invalid because he attempted to commit mass genocide, which is unforgivable.
EDIT: I'm sorry if I come across as rude or mean, but this story fell apart, yet had an amazing premise. The author himself admitted that he was making it up as he went along, which does not always work. The author also stated he lost interest in the story, and agreed with many comments saying that the story was getting too predictable, as Twilight was just solving all of the problems without consequences.
Rest assured, there will be many consequences and varied outcomes because of Twilight's actions in this story!
6448859 Thank you! After I got that comment from 6443713 , I just wung it and came up with a different ending to the pilot arc. My thought process kinda went like, "You know what would be cool? TWILICORN."
Well, this is just a fine kettle of fish...
Well this...I'm speechless
6450542 Eh, at least it was different.
I hope this turns out as well as it can be. Good on you for trying this.
6475151 Thankies!
Why is it that all the time-traveling alicorn Twilights hate Celestia?
WHY???!!!
because twilight was lied to bye celestia
6605922 It's also ready-made conflict fodder that keeps OC creation to a minimum.
6605922 She's pissed off at Celestia for lying to her about living forever (also offended by how readily she was to lie to her), and even moreso for something else...
EDIT: I added a little bit to the chapter at the end to make it more OMINOUS.
Hmmm...
Hey, Celestia, can you guess what you're doing wrong? Not much, just everything. Seriously, Luna, who's been away for over 1000 years has a better understanding of your student and her feelings. You've been practically raising Twilight and you can't see that you're mucking up to a disgusting degree? By the unholy Hells, you're a dumb-ass. You'd best come clean with Twilight soon (by that I mean "tomorrow") and explain why you lied, otherwise you're going to have one angry(er) ex-student on your hooves.
And I think at this point, you deserve all the anger and hate she has for you.
6607781 I think that Celestia might be in some denial over any of Twilight's (or anypony's, really) mistrust or general dislike for her, probably claiming "it's for the greater good," or that time will heal all wounds.
As she will find out eventually, time does not, in fact, magically heal wounds! Who would have guessed?
6609248 Anybody with a working brain and the superpower of common sense?
6609474 I'm not really sure how to explain it. In this story, I feel Celestia can tell when people are upset with her if she does the cryptic stuff she does, and is pained by it, but comforts herself by saying, "It's for the greater good." She has genuinely good intentions at heart, but her methods are lacking (it doesn't help that up until now, there was nobody to really tell her to stop. Most ponies see her as their infallible goddess, and trust her word).
That...that was disturbingly short and ironic. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind short chapters, but when they end on an ominous note like that, it leaves a very anxious feeling in my gut.
6636076 Ah sorry! Nothing ominous is happening at the end, Twilight's just pissed off since she was reminded of Celestia. And if you're still curious, here's why she hates the Sun Tyrant: Celestia lied to her, kinda used her (a direct insult before NMM; leaving the fate of an entire nation in Twi's hooves as a fucking test; and just generally using her as a tool to do her dirty work), and did something later on in the future that completely broke Twilight's faith in her completely.
Twilight feels betrayed by the one whom she once called her mentor and friend, and she's not too happy about it.
6636107 Ah, don't worry mate. My problem with the book is that it just makes it seem like the ponies view Celestia as some ultimate and infallible deity of good and all that shit that we know are lies because we can actually think (unlike what appears to be a vast majority of Equestria's citizenry but I'm sure isn't all of it). Don't get me wrong, Celestia appears to be needed in this world since she can move the sun and all that (which I'm honestly not sure if that's true or not, but that's for another time) but no matter what she comes off as a chess master and a bit of an egotist.
Thing is, I like stories like this, where Twilight no longer is faithful (even sometimes hating) to Celestia and her manipulative ways. Maybe it's because I'm in my late 20's and I can actually see all the problems with Celestia's methods for ruling and I can't stand the excuse people have of "it's a kids show, you're looking too deep into this" (Why should I give a damn? They've acknowledged the Brony community openly and I'm of the opinion that lets me critique the show rightfully). But even more-so, I like how authors like you do it, where there are reasons as to why she doesn't like Celestia and they're not stupid or just out of left field.
So long as it makes sense and you can develop Twilight beyond just hating Celestia because "she's not as perfect as she made herself out to be" and develop Celestia beyond a flat, tyrannical character that is a tyrant just because the story needed a Big Bad, I'll continue to follow this story. Keep it up, man.
6636201 Thankies!! I try my hardest lol
Hnrrrggggg
Ah, woman? Shit, my deepest apologies, I was an ass and assumed otherwise.
I love this story and I hope you keep writing more maybe Celestia finds out or what about the Canterlot wedding how would she handle it maybe a fight or evil will win. Discord is all powerful so maybe he knows Twilights from the future because he can sense when there is a magical disbalence or Twilight wanted him to win. Sorry but I really want Twilight to get discovered maybe by Spike. Can't wait for the next chapter.
6846516 Thanks!! I'm working on the next chapter, but I have midterms next week, so it may take a while to finish. My winter break starts on Feb. 12, and it lasts until the 22nd, so that's fun!
6847029 keep it up
6390448
Deja vu.
Twilight sounds a lot more rude and it makes it more exciting love this oh oh what is next yay can't wait
Glad to see this fic back in action.
I love this stories I hope it continues soon
7212487 It will it's just that a combination of School and Writer's Block is very effective
Also I've been crying over Steven Universe and watching the new season of Game of Thrones, so... XD
[7212855 HighSoprano
I hope you don't get to stressed with school work.
I am so sorry you have been so stressed. Sorry about Steven Universe. Sorry and I hope you feel better. For your writers block I say maybe read some other fanfic a and gets some ideas in your own interpretation.
Ok im getting a strong feeling from reading this that this fanfic was partially inspired by Jay David's "A Second Chance" because the way twilight's introductions to a few members of the mane six are similar to the way it was done in that. however, its also very different from that story as well, focusing a bit more on the comedic side of things, rather then the dark, dramatic side that mr david focused on. i feel the passion put into every word and its definitely unique and very well-written. its a shame this fanfic has been on hiatus for so long because i would very much like to see this story be continued,
9660805
Hey, thanks for the short review!
Yeeeeahhh, I really abandoned this fic, didn't I?
I've felt pretty guilty about doing so, not just for disappointing the few fans who had supported the story (even though my writing was garbage lol), but also for myself, actually. At the time I started writing it, I had only a vague idea of what I wanted to do, and as I mentioned in a comment on a previous chapter (can't remember which, sorry!), "making it up as you go" is not the best method of writing, unless you are very good at it.
I put it on an indefinite hiatus due to writer's block stemming from lack of planning, and also because the demands of high school eventually got the better of me. Unfortunately, I also began losing interest in what I was writing, which made coming up with new chapters a pain. I eventually got tired of writing all together, as seen with my other abandoned stories on my profile. Finally, I got discouraged by my own writing; I actually reread the story after seeing your comment, and did cringe at quite a bit of what I wrote. I was fourteen at the time, and I feel like it shows. I have also never been a "writer" first and foremost - I think I am better at coming up with ideas/characters, and suck horribly when it comes to writing intriguing and intelligent writing.
(My favorite book series is A Song of Ice and Fire, and when I read the crazy/amazing foreshadowing, red herrings, dialogue, character interactions, etc., I get all pumped to write, like "YEEEEAAAHHHHH, IMA DO A GOOD!!!" And then I stare at Word for, like, ten minutes, trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words
).
However, on a more positive note, I have to say that your comment, and rereading the story and the old supportive comments did slightly revive the old interest I used to have in this. I actually just graduated from high school, and therefore have more free time on my hands (at least, until I get to college
). I also started getting back into writing, but not on FiMFiction. If you want, you can check out my story, Overture (which is like, the third (?) rewrite of what was originally The Youngest Alicorn) on Archive of Our Own. (shameless plug lmao). I believe that the combination of not writing two stories at once, more experience with classic and well-written literature in my two AP English classes, and a general rise - however slight - in maturity.
Tl;dr: I am interested in rewriting this story, but it would most likely appear on Archive of Our Own, and definitely not until I've finished the story I am currently working on. I also have wanted to write about my NextGen concept for a LOOOOOOOONNNNGGGG time now, but those would be mostly short stories (like, at most five chapters) with only a loose chronological order.
I am really happy that you enjoyed the clusterf**k of early-teens writing I put into this story, and am super thankful you commented! It really means a lot to me when people comment.