• Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Craine


An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.

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Source

Because sometimes we can't get enough of what hurts us the most.

Rated "Everyone" because EVERYONE is guilty of this at some point or another. (O_o)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 44 )

Damn.
That was awesome!
Great story!

Er... Hm... Not sure what to think.

Ah! Love it! :heart: Teared up a little in there :raritydespair: (C'mon Rarity, we all knowwhat that "I hate you" really means :ajsmug:)

That was amazing, short and sweet and conveys so much emotion IMO.

The story was very good:ajsmug:

Don't really see why she's in the tearjerkers folder though:rainbowhuh:.
Maybe it's my perception of the folder that's wrong:applejackunsure:

Anyway great story:twilightsmile:

...*curls up in a ball and cries*

2377965 The ending seemed sad to me. I could have put it in "WTF did I just read?"

Yes. Yes! Please God yes. Yeeeeeeeees. This is good, :twistnerd:. Greatest ship in the fleet.
I can't criticize anything here, you laid out the situation and emotion well. Good work. :heart:

More to come, I can promise you that. :moustache: Thanks for the praise everyone!

Can't really hiss while talking, can ya now?

Good lil fic, still.

That was great the emotions and characters felt very real. I how to see more like this maybe a bit longer though but regardless of length I'll take more.

I am constantly thinking about how Rarity confesses her feelings and I can't help but think Applejack knows exactly what she's saying. I printed this story out and keep reading it and I still can't get enough! What have you done to me? I love it!:raritydespair:+:ajsleepy:=:heart:
I love seeing them start amongst tears and sadness like that. It hurts, but they won't hurt for much longer.

2464634

Damn. :twilightoops: :twilightsheepish: Printed it out??? I'm... I'm flattered. Really! Thanks

When it comes to shipfics, I don't really hate them or love them.

But yours are a whole other matter. Some of the most consistently excellent romances on Fimf, in my moustachioed opinion. :moustache:

2829147

*blushes furiously* You flatter me, you bastard. However, the true shipping guru is none other than Donny's Boy. Trust me, his work dwarfs my own, and I'm proud to say it! He's on my favorites list. I COMMAND YOU to rad his work! :flutterrage:

that was............... fuckin amazing. *manly tears ensue* :fluttercry::pinkiesad2::raritycry::raritydespair:

Can't resist me a nice bit of Rarijack.
Great story mate :twilightsmile:

3248756 Well, you're in luck! Rarijack is my OTP.

This was...odd. I didn't get enough of a grip on what their relationship was tl this point. Are they friends? Dating? In Denial? I applaud subtlety just fine but the lack of clarity meant I just couldn't get int this fic. That said it's still well written and appealing so I'm not about to downvote, Just not upvoting either. sorry.

Out of curiosity who's the "stallion" in this relationship? Applejack seems like a tomboy (just seems, not much use for fussiness on a farm) but Rarity has that phallus symbol on her head.

3358682 HAH! Phallus symbol...

Anyway, I've always, always saw Applejack as the dominant one in any RariJack, only equalized by Rarity's mean streak that always keeps Applejack in line (Power of the Wife).

"I hate you..."
"I know..."
I really couldn't help but see Han Solo and Leia in "The Empire Strikes Back" here.

Just like in the film you built up the emotion to dam bursting levels where words now get in the way. Then, you just get out of the way.
Very good story sir.
This being the first story I have read from you, I am now going to have to check out some more.

3478963 Wow... That image didn't even pop in my head until you mentioned it. Hopefully, your comment won't inspire a half-assed Star Wars crossover with ponies replacing the main characters. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed this one, just know that most of my work after this is a ground-breaking improvement, as result of my 'Improvement Crusade' back in March.

You shall not be disappointed (I hope).

Craine...

Well, that sounds like the sort of setup for a whirlwind romance novel that will have all sorts of hot sex and angry arguments and end up with the two of them bitter and dead to love by the end of it all. Seriously, the sort of co-dependence on display here, with Applejack cynically exploiting Rarity's guilt only for the latter to fall for it and ruin any hope for the sort of fame and fortune she'd dreamed of, leaves little room for a happy ending. So now Applejack has her woman locked down and Rarity is denied any advancement even as she sits back and watches Applejack's farm grow and prosper. After a few years, pain and jealousy at having her own dreams dashed as her lover continues to fulfill her own drives Rarity insane, and whether it ends in violence or not, the relationship becomes permanently fractured, and in the end neither is truly happy.

Don't get me wrong, it's a gorgeous story, and it's amazingly written, but that's the future I kinda see for the characters here.

Maybe I'm just jaded. :rainbowderp:

3557455 He he, just showing off where this could lead into the sort of tragic romantic drama you'd see on Lifetime, complete with the torrid affair where Rarity ends up in the forelegs of a pony who won't keep her held back, only to end up in a huge love triangle as she still can't get over Applejack. Bonus points if the third pony is one of their friends...

3557524 Stop it! Stop giving me ideas! It ain't healthy!

That description. I look forward to reading this soon

3557524
3557646
Ooooh! Maybe Rainbow Dash, after losing her shot at the Wonderbolts due to a horrific wing injury, bonds with Rarity over their shattered dreams (and a bottle of wine, of course), which leads to them having an affair, and they both want to stop it but can't because they realize their sordid relationship is the only thing that brings either of them any joy anymore! :pinkiegasp:
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/609/264/c37.jpg

Rarijack is my favourite ship and this is a great read. I love these pre-relationship stories, how they're differences both infuriate and bond them together. Going to read more of you rarijack fics. Greenthumbed!

What is the literary term for this situation? Two people who mutually hate and love each other? They hate each other so much they can only express it by kissing?
Both loving and hating some-one keeps them on your mind constantly, so hate, with along with other factors leads to love.

"C'mon, Rare. Ain't y'all gonna talk to me?" came a strangely pleading voice.

This should be "you" or "ya". Y'all is a plural "you", as in, addressing a group of people, or addressing one person who is the representative of a group. You might say "y'all" when talking to a mayor who is acting on behalf of their town, but you wouldn't if they were acting as a private individual.

"Why did y'all stay?"

Same here.

"Get out..." Rarity hissed, gaining a solid sneer in return.

"No. I won't," Applejack bit back.

This could be strengthened by cutting out the "gaining a solid sneer in return" and "Applejack bit back." And really, "No, I won't," isn't the strongest way of phrasing this. Maybe "I ain't budgin' 'til you tell me what I did." or something.

I really liked the sentiments behind this piece, but I feel like sometimes the prose didn't do it justice. A bit of repetitive sentence structure here, a bit of inappropriate telling there, and it doesn't give the piece quite as much punch as it deserves.

4895840 The funny thing is, you pointed about an eighth of everything I find wrong with this nowadays. The sad truth is, this is a result of the 'Improvement Crusade' I took in 2012. I look back at this thing at least once a month and shake my head. But, of course, we ALL have one of those (I have seven).

Admittedly, I was pleased to see a review from you, if only because you're as--if not more--obsessed with RariJack as I am. But, really, my magnum opus for the pairing is far better than this, if I do say so myself (and I do :ajsmug:)

Thanks for reviewing, Titanium.

Craine...

4898892
Oh, I know how that goes. I actually went back and rewrote one of my early short stories because I was like, "God, how did I think this was good?"

I mean, the story was good, but the prose. Good god, the prose. How many ways are there of not saying Rarity's way? The answer was like, seven or something.

In a story which was like 750 words long. :raritycry:

I... still haven't read your magnum opus. I don't know how. I need to fix that.

I really need to have a "read later" list and a "I will actually read this later" list.

4901649 Ah, rewriting old works. I'll admit, I've learned to stop doing that some years, if only to remind myself where I've been and what mistakes I've made. It helped. A lot. By doing so, and dissecting the reviews I received, I've nailed MANY flaws in my writing. I'd like to think that should be a common thing for any writers, but we all have our ways (thus, proof that I've written terrible, TERRIBLE things).

And, honestly, don't worry so much about my other RariJack; the fame for that has come and gone, and, really, I'm happy where it stopped. By all means, read it ten years from now; it was just a pleasure to write. Good times, man. *Sighs*... Good times.

Craine...

This has been on of my favorite rarijack fics ever. Do you mind if I use it as my very first fanfic reading?

5301282 You know? I wouldn't mind that at all. :twilightblush:

5303165

thank you again for letting me.

5307558 *wipes foam from mouth*
I'm almost POSITIVE I didn't write something as beautiful as you made it sound. I... I don't know what to say except well done. Very well done for you first reading. And I'm beyond honored that I've been chosen to be your first guinea pi... ... ... Huh.

Craine...

So, where they somehow involved with each other before all this, or was that like the Big Moment for them? I mean, there's some conflicting implications here.

This story man... DIS TORY M8!
It was amazing, abosolutly... AMAZING!
*sigh*
Maybe new favourite story.


Once more: Amazing :pinkiesad2:

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