How to Court Alicorns: A Human's Guide

by little big pony

Step Two (Part 1): Remember to Bring Flowers

“Love is in the air, la la la, love is in the air!” Luna hummed, doing a little skip and hop as she sang her little song while trotting back to her room. “We do not know the rest of the song, la la la, love is in the air!”

The Princess of the Night quickly made her way into her room before slamming her door shut behind her.

Closing her eyes, she twirled and spun around her room, singing her little song to herself as she somehow managed to avoid knocking into anything. “Now that the time of love his here, We must not stop and never, ever fear, la la la!” Using a quick spell, she closed her windows and pulled down the blinds. The only thing left illuminating the room was the glow of her horn.

Opening an eye to see if there were any unwanted peepers hiding in her room, Luna pranced over to her closet, tapping on the door twice, then opening and closing, then tapping on it three more times. “Do not worry, sister mine, because we will make sure that thou are not left behind, la la la, love is in the air!”

Once again opening the door, Luna couldn’t help but grin when she saw the usually empty closet had dramatically changed. Now it was loaded, floor to ceiling, with various types of weapons that she had managed to ‘borrow’ from the barracks. Once more looking around to see that the coast was clear, Luna quickly hopped in her closet and closed the door.

“We will be the defender of thy love, as thee and the human soar like doves… something something love!” It took a minute for her to find the light switch, but as soon as she lit up the room she was like a filly in the candy store, trotting around the magically enlarged room and trying to decide what she was going to bring on her little mission. And, while her niece had told her that she probably wasn’t going to need to be armed for her part in making sure that Celestia’s date went smoothly, she thought that it was better to be safe than sorry.

The room was at least twice the size of her bedroom. Weapons, from old to new to even a few prototypes, were neatly racked on every wall. In the middle of the room were bigger weapons and even a few sets of armor, all neatly and carefully set up in a sensible yet eye-catching way. This might
have been the biggest arsenal in Equestria, and Luna was going to have to use every bit of it to make sure that Celestia was going to leave her date with Anny with a big smile on her face.

This was her big sister, the pony that she cared about more than anypony else on this earth, and as the little sister, Luna thought it right that she try to return the years of kindness that her sister had lavished on her. Celestia was the one who she had gone to when she had had a nightmare, Celestia was the one who had helped her raise the moon the first time, and she was the one that knew all of her hopes and dreams just as Luna knew hers.

“And do not worry, sister mine, for those that wish to harm thy behind.”

Trotting over to one of the weapon racks, Luna lovingly picked up a crossbow, giving it a quick once-over before reaching up and grabbing a few bolts with mini plungers on them. “For they will face no greater fury than mine; la la la, love is in the air!”

Luna, ran her hoof down the crossbow’s polished wood, taking a moment to appreciate the craftsmanship that had gone into the weapon before magically strapping it and the quill of bolts onto her back. With another hop, she trotted over to the sword rack. “Don’t you ever fear, for thy little sister is here, to make thy date as perfect as can be, la la la, love is in the air!!!”


“And you’re sure that I don’t need to bring anything?”

“I already told you, Auntie, Anny and I have everything covered; the only thing that you need to bring is yourself.”

“Are you sure that I’m fine walking out as is? I’d only take a moment to put on a dress…”

Cadance tiredly sighed before taking another sip of her tea as she watched her aunt nervously pace her room back and forth. While Celestia had been calm while she and Anny had been at the gym together, and while Cadance had thought that Celestia was going to be able to keep herself calm for the rest of the day, the solar princess had basically turned into a nervous wreck the second that Anny had disappeared - a giddy, nervous, and twitchy wreck.

When Cadance had refused to tell her where the human had gone, the older alicorn had basically carried her the whole way back to her room to be ‘support’ while Celestia herself tried to drink an ocean’s worth of tea and eat half of her body weight in sweets as she waited for Anny to knock on her door. Celestia was out of her depth; she knew it, Cadance knew it, even the guards that had seen the princess carrying her niece in her magic knew it, and because she was out of her depth Cadance was seeing a side of her aunt that hadn’t shown itself in a very, very long time.

If she was being honest with herself, Cadance actually felt a little bad about how much she was enjoying this. Everypony, no matter how old, always acts like a teenager when they wait for their date to arrive, she mused, trying not to giggle when she saw that her aunt had gotten a hold of a brush and was running it through her mane while muttering to herself about how messy it looked.

Though she thought she looked horrible at the moment, Celestia actually looked as radiant as ever. Cadance had simply done as little as possible for her already beautiful aunt; just a little perfume and a bit of time with a comb had done more than enough in her opinion.

She thinks that Anny wouldn’t love to see her like this, Cadance thought, eyeing her aunt over with a smile. I wonder why mares always think they’d look prettier hiding their natural beauty with makeup? She had to stop herself from laughing when Celestia, seeing that her mane wasn’t staying down, started to paw at it with an angry snort. You’re never more beautiful when you’re just you…

Calmly reaching over, Cadance grabbed the tea pot and poured herself another cup of tea while she watched Celestia slowly work herself into up from simple nervousness to full blown panic. The white alicorn wouldn’t hold still, her purple eyes darting toward the door every few seconds with a mixture of fear and excitement, which was making it harder and harder for Cadance to keep herself from just bursting out laughing at how silly her aunt was being.

Right now she’s freaking out, but as soon as Anny knocks on that door she’ll be as calm and happy as can be. Cadance took a little nibble of her sweet cake while eyeing the door. I have Fleur prepared for, Auntie Luna and Shiny should be getting into positions soon; all Anny needs to do is actually show up so this date can get started.

Not that Cadance was worried that Anny would get cold feet; he was in too deep to back out now for any reason, but one needed to think about these types of things when one was playing the game of love. Every little thing needed to be thought out, every little detail needed to be gone over with a critical eye, and every scenario needed to be considered if one wanted to be a successful matchmaker. In fact one could almost say that it was an art, and today Cadance was going to paint her masterpiece.

It seemed that Celestia finally had enough with fidgeting in her seat, because she stood up with a huff and a determined look. “Should I at least put some makeup on, Cadance? …You know what? I’m going to go do just that, and I’m going to go and put something nice on.”

Cadance snorted, getting up as soon as her aunt darted toward her bathroom and slammed the door behind her. You’d think that more ponies would listen to the Princess of Love, she thought. But noooo, they always—

Knock Knock!

“Is that Anny?!” Cadance heard her aunt yell from her bathroom. “Cadance, stall him for a few minutes! I need to pick out a dress after I finish—“ Cadance trotted over to the door, tuning out Celestia as she threw open the door, revealing Anny.

Well, it looks like SOMEONE is actually taking my advice, Cadance thought as she looked her friend over with a warm smile. “There you are, Anny. I was beginning to wonder if something had happened to you!”

Anny had elected to dress rather plainly for the date (just like Cadance had told him), wearing a simple red t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, though he looked a little more groomed than usual, his hair cut and combed and his fingernails filed to perfection. And, to her surprise, he actually didn’t look as nervous as she thought he was going to be for this date; he wasn’t even shaking or anything!

“Sorry, I got caught up at the flower shop,” Anny apologized, pulling out a bouquet of flowers that he had been hiding behind his back. “I couldn’t remember what kind of flowers Celestia liked, and the florists kept pestering me to buy more and—“ Stopping himself, Anny leaned slightly into the room.

“Is Celestia not ready?” he asked, suddenly looking nervous. “Because I can come back in a little bit if she needs more—“

With a quiet giggle, Cadance quickly yanked him down to her level. “She’ll be out in a minute,” she said, adjusting his collar with a hoof and straightening out his shirt. “She’s a little nervous.”

“CADANCE, ANSWER ME! IS THAT ANNY?!” A loud crash came from the bathroom. “Oh horseapples… now I’ve gotten eyeliner everywhere.”

Rolling her eyes, and making sure that Anny’s hair was just right, Cadance let him go and trotted toward the bathroom.

“She’ll be out in a minute,” Cadance repeated, looking over her shoulder and eyeing the flowers in Anny’s hand. “And I’m sure she’ll love those roses Anny; just make sure that she doesn’t eat them all before the two of you start eating, alright? Now, if you’ll excuse me , I have to go and make sure that my aunt hasn’t done anything too silly.”

Anny nervously leaned on the door, watching as Cadance gently tapped on the bathroom door before going inside. With a quiet whistle, he gave himself a quick look over before eyeing the blue roses that he had bought.

“These better not be those cheap roses that don’t taste like anything,” he muttered, leaning and taking a quick whiff to see if they smelled like blueberries. The mare at the flower shop had said that they were going to taste like blueberries but Anny had his doubts. “That flower shop didn’t look too shady, but I know that there’s—“



Anny jumped in fright as a flurry of sound came from the bathroom.







Anny almost took a step toward the bathroom when he heard the sounds of magic being used, which was followed by more crashing, things breaking, and even more colorful swearing, but he thought better of it.

...I’ll just let that sort itself out, he thought, awkwardly shifting in place.



There was more crashing, this time followed by what sounded like yelps of pain and a flurry of spells being cast. Anny took a step backward when he felt the whole castle temple slightly. Yep, I’m not having anything to do with that, he thought with a nod.





Anny watched as Celestia was launched through the door, the alicorn yelping as she hit the floor and slid toward him.

The Solar Princess sighed, closing her eyes and letting her wings droop into the floor with her front legs pressed against her chest, blowing a bit of her mane out of her face before muttering, “I was going to get out of the bathroom in a minute; there was no need to get that huffy.”

Trying not to laugh, Anny cleared his throat. “Are you alright there, princess?”

Celestia’s eyes snapped open to look up at him, the alicorn blinking a couple of times before scrambling to her hooves. “O-Oh, hello, Anny,” she said brightly, adjusting her mane with a bit of magic. “You’re looking…” she trailed off, a little smile coming to her face as she looked at the flowers.

“Oh, are those for me?” she whispered dreamingly.

Anny just handed her flowers, watching as she sat on her haunches and looked them over. Closing her eyes, Celestia smelled them.

“Thank you, Anny.” She took a bite of one of the roses, humming at the flavor. “Hum, blueberry, my favorite…”

Anny looked at his shoes. “I just went to a flower shop and picked them out,” he told her, trying not to blush when he heard her giggle. “Since I can’t eat them, I just picked out the ones that looked the nicest and—“

The sound of breaking glass came from the bathroom before a bruised and battered and on fire, but smiling, Cadance trotted out of the bathroom. Celestia smiled guiltily as Anny looked down at her questioningly before looking over to her niece.

“Cadance, honey, hold still for a moment and let me—“

Licking her hoof, Cadance put out the small fire that had been raging on the end of her horn. “You two go and have a good time, alright?” she said, eye twitching as her crown split in half and fell on the ground. “Make sure to get my aunt home by seven, Anny; I’m going to get somepony to clean up this mess!”

Anny took a step toward her. “Are you alright there, Cadance?” he asked in concern. “You don’t look so hot.”

Cadance giggled, smiling up at him. “Oh, Anny, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to chase somepony out of the bathroom.” She waved a hoof dismissively. “I’m fine; you don’t need to worry about me,”

Anny nodded uncertainly. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure. You two go have fun.” Cadance walked over and shooed the two of them out of the bedroom, closing the door before slumping to the floor in exhaustion.

“I don’t get paid enough for this…”


“Are you going to tell me where we’re going, Anny?”


“Could I just get a little hint, please?”

“Naha, sorry.”

It was a lovely day to be out and about Canterlot. Ponies were trotting around, smiles on their faces as they went about their business, nobles and commoners alike mingling and chatting happily with each other helped make the presumably long walk toward their destination enjoyable.

The general good mood didn’t seem to really perk up Celestia though, the princess slowly following Anny, her eyes searching for anything and everything, nodding to each and every pony that bowed to her or called out a greeting. She wasn’t in a bad mood, far from it in fact, it was just that she was just a teeny tiny bit... nervous.

Being out of the dating game for so long had made Celestia forget the many feelings that one feels when you go on a date with someone for the first time. The fear that something was going to go wrong, the hope that you were going to make a good impression on the other person, the delight and the butterflies that went along with being lead through a city to your destination by your date; all of these, these hopes and tears and wishes, were the things that made finding that special someone all the better and more exciting. Not that some of those feeling were weren’t annoying to be fair.

Celestia snorted in good-hearted irritation as she let Anny drag her through the streets of her city, obviously going the long way so as to keep her guessing where he was taking her. “Anny, just remember that I know this city like the back of my hoof; even if you don’t tell me where we’re going there’s a good chance I’ll be able to guess before we get there,” she warned, nibbling on her roses that she was holding aloft with her magic.

Anny looked back at her with a big smile. “I’m sure you will, Celestia,” he said, in a contrary tone and a teasing look. “But hopefully I’ll be able to keep you guessing before we get there.”

Glancing around to check the street signs, Celestia quickened her pace so she was side-by-side with her date. “Could you at least tell me if we’re going to dinner first?” She tapped the side her Anny’s head with her half-eaten bouquet. “I don’t want to ruin my appetite by eating all of these.”

Just tell me where we’re going, she silently begged, almost shaking with anticipation. Just give me a bit of a hint so I can figure it out!

She honestly didn’t even care where he was going to take her, but it was almost like an itch she needed to scratch. Was Anny taking her out to a fancy restaurant? Was he going to try making food himself? All of these unknown factors were making Celestia, a mare who liked to be prepared, more than a little nervous. So, even though she didn’t care about where Anny was taking her, she needed to know; if for nothing else than to at least mentally prepare herself for what her friend had in mind.

On our next date I’ll make sure to tease him this much; we’ll see how much he likes it! Celestia thought to herself before her eyes widened. We haven’t even gone on the first date and I’m already thinking about the next one? She couldn’t help but giggle girlishly to herself, trailing slightly behind Anny so he wouldn’t see the blush that was slowly coming onto her face. Now, now, Celestia, you need to finish the first one before—

“Celestia, watch out!”

The Solar Princess was torn out of her thoughts as a she was launched bodily in the air. Eyes widening, she couldn’t help but squeak in surprise as her wings jutted out in a vain attempt to righten herself. Horseapples! Horseappling son of a diamond dog--


Anny gritted his teeth as he threw Celestia into the air with a pained grunt, the alicorn’s wings slapped against his arms, almost making him lose his grip on the squeaking princess, as he stumbled forward to just barely catch her, trying to ignore the sudden, and slightly searing, pain that came with throwing and catching some one like an idiot. Still eyeing the thing the thing that was crashing down toward them, he carried his date, hopping over a few staring ponies before running away as fast as his feet could carry him. Nopenopenopenopenope!

A paint can, filled to the brim with bright green paint, crashed against the cobblestone street with enough force to send paint flying everywhere. Ponies who weren’t lucky enough to see the paint can falling in time were coated in the substance, many gasping in surprise before righteous outrage set in, noble and commoner alike scanning the rooftops for the idiot that managed to ruin their morning.

Releasing the wide-eyed princess, he sighed, looking up at the roof. “Are you alright, Celestia? You nearly got clocked in the head with that thing.”

Celestia looked up at Anny in confusion. “Who was--what was…” She frowned. “Antaeus, did you just throw me?!”

Anny flinched. “...Sorry, there was just this paint can and it was about to hit you and…” Trailing off, he simply pointed toward the devastation.

Celestia followed his hand, her eyes widening when she saw all of the paint covered ponies, buildings, and stands. She just stood there for a moment, taking the scene in, before turning back toward Anny, her angry look replaced with a grateful smile.

“Thank you for saving me, Anny,” she said, before closing her eyes and casting a simple cleaning spell, taking paint off pony and shop alike. Sighing, she looked up at her date and smiled apologetically. “Excuse me, Anny, I’ll be right back after I check and see if my ponies are alright.”

Anny smiled. “We’re not on a time schedule, Celestia,” he said, shooing her away with a hand. “I’ll wait here for you.”

Giving Anny a final smile, Celestia turned toward the small crowd of ponies. “Is everypony alright?” she asked, trotting around, nuzzling and looking over everypony within arms length.

Anny nodded, still eyeing the roofs as Celestia trying to calm a crying foal. “I wonder where that came from,” he muttered. “I don’t see anyone painting… and there’s no one on the roofs…”

Hopefully it’s not who I think it is, he thought, looking down to see Celestia nuzzling a baby that was still in its stroller, the mother smiling and the baby laughing and pawing at her face; a sight that very nearly killed him. Cadance said that she would make sure that everything went alright… And I trust her.

That didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to keep an eye out for any more “accidents,” but he was going to try his best to keep his mind off any crazy supermodels and enjoy the date that he had been trying to get for months with one of the most wonderful mares in the world.

“I’m sorry for making you wait, Anny… and for thinking that you’d just throw me without good reason, ” Celestia apologized, trotting back over to him. “I made sure that the paint is all cleaned up and I believe I made friends with the cutest little foal,” she nudged her head at the still laughing child. “The poor little thing looked scared to death, and I couldn’t just let her cry like that.”

Anny smiled, giving her ear a scratch. “I saw. You know, if you’re trying to give me a heart attack, you could at least warn me before you go playing with babies,” he teased, his smile getting bigger when the big mare blushed.

“I’m also sorry about the flowers.” Looking over her shoulder she saw that her bouquet had been absolutely covered in paint and crushed under the hooves of multiple ponies.

“Well, I’d rather have the flowers get ruined than you getting knocked out by a paint can,” Anny said with a nervous chuckle, once again eyeing the roofs. “It would be a little hard to explain if I had to bring you home covered in paint and with a lump on your head.”

Gratefully smiling up at him, Celestia looked up at the sun. “Unfortunate accidents aside, the two of us should really get going.” She nudged him with a wing. “My sister and niece want us back at the castle in a few hours so we should hurry up and get to our destination before anything else happens.”

Anny sighed as Celestia warily eyed the hoof tops. “I’m going to have a great date with you, Princess,” he said, sounding resolute. “I don’t care what I have to do, and I don’t care who’s trying to stop the date from happening, ponies or fate or whatever, I’m going to enjoy my date with you because it might be the only one I get.”

With a giggle, Celestia leaned up and nuzzled his cheek before trotting past him. “Come on, Mr. Sweet-talker, we only have so much time,” she took a few steps before stopping in her tracks.

Anny cocked his head at her as her wings flapped in what he assumed was excitement before looking back at him, a big, cheeky smile on her face, and asking, “We’re going to Canterlot lake, aren’t we?”

Anny’s smile instantly became a frown. “How did you know?” he asked, crossing his arms.

Celestia just giggled again. “I didn’t,” she said, matter-of-factly. “But you just told me.” Anny opened his mouth, then promptly closed it, making Celestia chuckle as she nudged him forward with her magic. “I told you I was going to find out where we’re going,” she said, patting his cheek with a wing before wrapping the feathery appendage around his shoulders and leading him through the streets.

“…Cheater,” Anny finally muttered, trying not to smile as Celestia pulled him closer toward her.

The princess looked back at him, her eyes shining with mischief. “All’s fair in love and war,” she said airily, her chest puffing out slightly as she waved a hoof daintily around. “All’s fair in love and war.”


“La la la, love is in the air, na na na, love is in the air, blah blah blah, love is in the air!”

Luna adjusted herself on her makeshift seat, the smallish crate creaking slightly but firmly holding under the Night Princess’s weight. She would have preferred actually bringing something more comfortable to sit on but with all of her ‘tools’, along with having to haul everything up on her little crow’s nest, had forced her to be a little sparse in the way of luxuries. Besides, the royal caboose had withstood some of the most uncomfortable chairs in existence; sitting on a crate was nothing.

“Big Moon, this is Heartbreaker, come in.”

Luna rolled her eyes as she adjusted the scope on her crossbow, sighting in on Anny and Celestia finally making their way toward one of Canterlot’s many parks. “Shining Armor, thou will use the code name that your wife gave thee and thou will like it.”


“We did not like the name Big Moon but do thou hear us complaining?”

Luna glared at the communication crystal that was to her left, hoping that her annoyance could be felt through it. “Now, try again.”

Her crystal was silent for a few seconds before she heard a resigned sigh. “Big Moon this is… Honeybuns… come in, over.”

Luna giggled quietly as she peered back through her scope. “This is Big Moon; we hear thee, Honeybuns.” She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from snorting. “We have spotted Fleur and Blueblood just a moment ago; we tried to fire upon them but We… may have missed.”

Shining grunted in irritation. “You’re lucky that Anny got your sister out of the way when he did. Another two seconds and you’d have sent your sister to the hospital.”

“We did not mean to hit the paint can,” Luna snapped defensively. “And do not underestimate the resilience of alicorns, Honeybuns; at worst our sister would have had a mild headache if the can would have struck its mark.”

“Just try to keep from hitting Anny and Celestia anymore, alright?”

“As long as thou keep an eye on Blueblood and Fleur like thee are supposed to be doing,” Luna countered. “We cannot watch our sister and them at the same time, young Armor!”

“You weren’t even supposed to be shooting at them; heck, you were just supposed to watch Anny and your sister, not climb up some tower like a crazy pony!”

“We do like thy tone, Cur! We wish to watch over our sister our own way; if thou hast a problem with it--”

“Will you two stop yelling at each other!” another pony cried on the line. “We all can argue later; right now we need to make sure that everything goes perfectly!”

“…Sorry dear,” Shining muttered.

“Thou are as whipped as the cream that they serve on cakes, young prince,” Luna said with a giggle, watching as Anny led Celestia toward one of the park’s many trees. “And do not worry, niece, so long as we watch over them with Crossy”-Luna nuzzled the butt of her crossbow-“no treachery will befall their date on this day!”


Celestia watched as Anny pulled out a picnic basket from behind a bush and set it down in between them. “I was wondering what we were going to eat,” she mused with a giggle, trying to sneak a peek into the basket before Anny snatched it away from her, looking into it before closing the lid with a relieved sigh.

“No one took anything, good,” he muttered before looking at Celestia with a nervous smile. “I was having a bit of a problem with some of the squirrels this morning,” he explained, quickly pulling out two cans of soda and two plates of food, a daisy sandwich for the Princess and a peanut butter one for him, before leaning against the tree that they were sheltering under.

“I have some stuff to make more sandwiches if you want another one.” Anny patted the basket, watching as Celestia took a bite out of her meal. Pleasedon’tbebadpleasedon’tbebadpleasedon—

“This was not the fancy dinner that I was expecting, Anny—“ For a moment, Anny forgot to breathe in his sudden panic, his eyes widening as he started to sputter apologies.

“I’m sorry and, um, I d-didn’t mean—”

“—But I think that I might prefer having a date out in the open like this.”

Celestia looked out on the lake as Anny slumped to the ground, relief practically dripping off him. “It’s nice and open and simple, I don’t have to worry about being anypony other than me out here, and I get to enjoy the feel of the trees and the grass.” Anny quickly sat up, trying his best to look calm and collected, as the princess looked over at him while she took another bite of her sandwich.

Realizing that he hadn’t eaten anything yet, Anny quickly grabbed his sandwich and took a bite. “And this is better than sitting in a stuffy room waiting for our food,” he chuckled, reaching over and opening up his pop. “And doing something like this is perfect if you’re broke.”

Anny grinned as Celestia almost spit up her pop, the alicorn coughing loudly before managing to swallow her sugary beverage. “So I’m just a cheap date?” She asked, fake-glaring at him with a giggle.

Anny shook his head, praying that he hadn’t just said something stupid. “No, I’m the cheap date.” He waved a hand around the blanket that they were sitting on before that nervous feeling came back.

Maybe I should have actually spent a bit more than twenty bits on this date, he thought, taking another bite of his sandwich. A princess deserves more than a few crummy sandwiches and a couple cans of pop!

And just like that, all of those nights of Cadance assuring Anny that everything was going to be fine just crumbled away, Anny becoming more and more stressed with each tick of the clock. Without realizing it, Anny started to shake, the human just staring at his sandwich, his mind raging with—

“Oh my, Anny, is it nippy out?” Anny jumped slightly as a wing wrapped around him, Celestia seemingly appearing at his side. The alicorn looked up at the sky, giving the air a cautious sniff before her wing tightened around him.

“It feels like it’s getting colder,” she said with a nod, pushing him against her side while she finished up her sandwich. “Doesn’t it seem chilly out to you?”

Despite the fact that it was actually a pretty warm day, Anny nodded slowly, leaning into the princess. “I-It does seem like it’s g-getting a little colder,” he said weakly as Celestia levitated over the picnic basket and pulled out a jar peanut butter, jam, a knife, and bread.

Celestia simply nodded again. “It’s practically frigid out, and it feels like it’ll get windy any second,” she replied sagely. “So you’ll just have to stay right here until the two of us finish eating.”

Anny leaned into the princess’s body further, his frayed nerves calming at the comforting touch. “Alright, Celestia,” he said quietly, closing his eyes and smiling gratefully. “And thanks… f-for making sure that I don’t get sick or anything, I mean…”

With that the two went to quietly eating, Anny awkwardly grabbing his sandwich and pop, the only sounds filling the air was the sounds of chewing, drinking, and the swooshing of the leaves on the tree.


Blueblood adjusted the fake glasses on his face, along with his mustache, trying not to awe as he watched his aunt snuggle against her date as the two of them ate. For about ten minutes, he and Fleur, who was dressed up as an elderly mare with a cane, had been watching the two just sitting there eating their sandwiches and idly chatting about this and that.

I do hope that the two of them actually get up and do something other than just sit there, the prince thought, looking over at Fleur, who was about ready to lose her mind. If Blueblood had thought that the little scene before him was adorable, it was the exact opposite for the supermodel. Right now she was shaking slightly, tears starting to form as she muttered angrily to herself in Prench, which left
Blueblood in a difficult position, and that’s saying something when you’re dressed up in a dumb outfit hiding in some bush while she watches your aunt like a stalker.

On one hoof, he wanted his aunt to be happy; and if Anny made her happy he was willing to welcome him with open hooves. He had gotten to know Anny these past few months and had actually like the alien. But on the other hoof, it was almost physically hurting him to see one of his best friends in their state. He wanted to help her- no, he wanted to be the one in Anny’s situation, laughing and joking with the one that he cared about while the two of them just ate and watched the lake.

But, since even the thought of telling Fleur his feeling almost had him want to throw up, Cadance had helpfully given him a way to ease into telling her how he felt.

Trying to make sure that he looked like an everyday average stallion, whose mustache happened to be just a little bit too crooked, Blueblood trotted over to the bush that Fleur was hiding in and sat down next to her. Peering down into the bush, he sighed as he reached in and pulled out a little picnic basket.

Thank Faust that it’s still here, he thought, relieved, as he touched Fleur’s side.

“Fleur, why don’t the two of us get something to eat?” he asked with a smile as he opened the picnic basket. “We don’t want them to hear our stomachs rumbling do we?”

Quietly sniffling, Fleur quietly thanked the prince as he passed her a sandwich and a juice box. “Look at them, Bleu,” she whispered. “Laughing and joking with each other while we are here.” She gestured at the bush she was hiding in. “Hiding like common dogs.”

His smile getting wider, Blueblood quickly pulled out a blanket, unfolding it and placing it on the ground. “I’m sure that they won’t be able to see us if we sit here.” He patted the space next to him as he pulled out his own sandwich. “Why make ourselves uncomfortable?”

Fleur looked at Anny and Celestia before weakly smiling at him. “This bush is uncomfortable,” she said, quietly getting out of her bush and sitting next to him. “But we must still be vigilant, Bleu, we must find the perfect opportunity to sabotage this date.”

Blueblood’s smile twitched as he reached back into his basket and hoofed Fleur a small bag of hay chips. “I’m sure it will, Fleur,” he said carefully, taking a bite out of his sandwich. “But why don’t we make sure the two of us are in tip-top shape right now?”

Sighing, Fleur leaned into the prince as she loudly slurped her juice. “Merci, Bleu,” she said, closing her eyes as Blueblood did his best impression of a statue - a big, blushing statue.


“Yes… everything’s going as planned.”

With a suspiciously evil-sounding cackle, Cadance put down the binoculars she was holding and examined the little notebook she had at her side.

Make sure that Anny and Celestia successfully get to their date.
Get Blueblood to distract Fleur long enough so she can’t ruin anything.
Make sure that Luna doesn’t hurt anypony. (May need to put her somewhere else)

Nodding, she picked her binoculars back up and surveyed the scene, from Anny and Celestia cuddling against the tree to Blueblood and Fleur quietly eating their sandwiches in silence. At least Fleur doesn’t look so miserable now, she thought, picking up her communication crystal. She might actually like you more than you think, Blue; even if she doesn’t realize it yet.

“Honeybuns, Big Moon, this is Big Wig. The first phase of our operation is successful; I repeat, the first phase of our operation is successful.”

There was a bit of static before Luna muttered, “We hath observed from our crow’s nest, Big Wig. We also have a clear shot of the miscreant supermodel; should we fire upon her?”

Cadance snorted. “Do not take the shot, Big Moon; I repeat, do not take that shot. We’re trying to help Fleur, and shooting her in the face with a plunger isn’t going to help anypony.”

“We would not shoot her in the face!... We would strike her in center mass.”

Shaking her head, the Princess of Love continued. “Just stay planted, you two. Everything’s calm right now, but we need to be on our hooves until Anny leaves Celestia at her bedroom doorway after the two of them hug!”

“Roger that, Honey, I’ve just gotten in position and everything’s set up. Now I’m just waiting on Anny to start the next step.”

With another nod, Cadance quietly levitated a pair of aviators and a cap and quickly put them on, leaning out her window and staring at the sun a moment before muttering, “I have a need… for speed,” then falling back into her room with a playful giggle.

“Oh horseapples is this fun!”