• Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

little big pony

Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....


After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...


Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 232 )

Yes! all my yes! this needed to exist and im glad it now does :yay:

Soo, will Twilight get a punishment for breaking and entering?

Even considering the standpoint, I get the feeling that this will be far from a static story... :pinkiehappy:

Bob is turned into a statue

U talkin shit bout me, m8?

Ooooooh dear. Let's start it up!

Tis` a good story, thou art interesting...:twilightsmile:

I'll nok u da fuk oot, I swear on me mum I wills!

The existence of this story brings much joy to me :moustache:

They should put next to a petrified Discord.

… I gotta follow this… This is too good...

This has my interest.

I am intrigued by this. Take a like and Favorite.

this is so fucking brilliant :D

Well, it can't be that bad.

So THAT'S what weeping angels see when the can't move!

No obvious pitfalls, good characterization. A strong open. :rainbowdetermined2:

Ok, I'm not going to fave this just because of your authors note; the rest of the story is pretty good, too. But that's an excellent joke.

So lets see...he got into a drunken brawl with a group of Gryphons, stripped down naked and led a riot through the city, drew penises on the walls of the castle, and smacked Celestia's ass?
I have a lot of respect for Bob right now.

when he is releases i want bob to do the biggest fart in front of the princesses

Blaspheme! Books are awesome.

Twilicorn is worst.

As soon as he gets out he should have them sued for cruel and unusual punishment, that's always funny.

I wouldn't mind being stoned actually, I'd be aware of what's happening and I'd just quietly comment on it and make myself laugh. Leaves are funny. Fact.

One may hope that, after this ordeal, no one will ever take Bob for granite again.

Haha! Loving this. :rainbowlaugh:

4421108 I hope so. I guess his issues can come from having a rocky relationship with ponykind in general.

I wanna see what happens when Bob tells them he was conscious the entire time...

bob gets destatueised and will forever haunt the sisters with statue jokes

So long as he keeps a stiff upper lip the days will fly by

Some rock-solid comedy right there, Bob! I can see now how concrete your reasoning was toward accepting this punishment! :rainbowlaugh:

Boy, this will be a barrel of laughs until the end...


You get the idea they know, with the talk of one facing their worst nightmares while stuck as a statue.


So, how long before Bob gets to eavesdrop on something really juicy? Maybe Twilight masturbating to pictures of Flash Sentry, a little indiscretion between Vinyl and Octavia, or Fluttershy doing something incredibly creepy when she thinks no one is watching. There are just so many possibilities. :trollestia:

… Poor, poor Bob. Y'know what? I'll give him some degree of compensation for his troubles. Here ya go, Bobby-boy!

Now, stare at Feather's behind while she's on a treadmill! Wait, do they even have those in here? Nevermind, probably not. Meh, the image itself is worth it.

... YES PUNS! Give me five minutes, I could fill the Bible.

Well if this isn't a monument of good story telling I don't know what it!!!!

Hmm. It looks like he will be stiff as a rock when he gets out. It also seems like his PUNishment is set in stone for 4 days.

Poor Bob. If only the ponies would stop putting him on a pedestal.

:raritystarry:This seems interesting enough to get behind.
Also Rarity turned into a button. Not sure how that happened.:derpyderp2:

I'm going to guess that either Luna or Celestia will eventually come and whisper dirty things to Bob.

Tis a shame they'll never know if he's actually interested or not, what with him being rock hard all the time :raritywink:


I'm terrible, really :trollestia:

When Bob is finally released, he's had a lot of time to think on the things he's heard. And he acts differently, in an attempt to be better... and it scares and guilts the ponies, especially the Princesses, because they believe they've damaged him, mentally.


that's a pretty Igneous sense of humor you got there. Bob reached my sedimentaries exactly with this chapter.

Get it? cuz two of the 3 basic rock types are igneous and...sedimentary...?


I'm gonna go kill myself now. :pinkiesad2:

Well, if you want to get revenge on the birds, this is the ideal way to do it.

Place is a bit short on clevage

Login or register to comment