CelestAI deals with a mischievous intruder in Equestria.

Inspired by and contains spoilers from: Untitled Goose Game (its really fun, go play it)
Cover Sauce

A (silly) entry to the Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest

Thanks yall, featured 4/25/2021, and got to the number 1 spot for a minute!

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

Skyrim guard travels the magical land of Equestria, making friends and foes, having adventures and lecturing about proper citizen behavior.

But how will our hero fare against the native ponies with such a short repertoire of phrases? Will he help the land or cause its downfall? Should we follow?

Of course we should!

***

Also, all comments saying anything about anything get a prize!

Anon feels like bonding with the pony personification of the sun; Princess Celestia. More specifically, he feels like sexually bonding with her.

Princess Luna doesn’t know how to feel about that.

WARNING: Profanity, and I mean a ridiculous amount of profanity. Also sex jokes, because bottom of the barrel humour has been fermenting the longest.

Your name is Anon and you are a human living in a society run by ponies.

You have no human friends—probably because you’re the only one. But that’s all right, you’ve got some pony friends and they’re pretty groovy. You just wish they’d tone down the ironic erotic energy they constantly exuded while around you.

I mean. There’s no way they were really that sexually charged, at least towards you. Right?

...right?

Well, good thing Rarity is right there!

Days prior to the planned march on Rome, Benito Mussolini is anxious.

Oh yes, he has been given the go-ahead from the American ambassador and has thousands of blackshirts and some of the most avant-garde fascists behind him. However, this strength is deceptive, just like the confidence he made sure to wear in front of his fellow fascists; his own blackshirt commander told Il Duce that he would not act against the king if he resisted, and there is still the army loyal to the crown that is ready to fight on his word.

Doubt plaguing him, Benito is now at a crossroad: should he continue as planned or perhaps flee Italy altogether? He decides to take a night stroll to iron out his thoughts.

That is, until a freak earthquake hits Naples and changes history forever.

Proofreading done by NoMoreSanity, Demon Eyes Laharl, and Starman Ghost.

Also featured on Equestria Daily.

Flurry Heart's Crystaling didn't quite go as planned. After vanishing in a powerful magical surge, she became the most high-profile missing pony case in Equestrian history. Twilight leads the search to find her, before it's too late.

Unbeknownst to her, Flurry has already been found, by an unfortunate human who happened to be hiking near the place she appeared. Flurry Heart's magic is irresistibly powerful, and soon changes all around her to suit her whims. Soon Flurry's rescuer is fighting to reverse the magic, before the authorities notice and separate him from the only possible source of help.

Cover by Zutcha, editing by the Eevees in the hood Two Bit and Sparktail.

Updates most Tuesdays.

Note: This story was written as a commission for the generous patron of the arts Crescent Pulsar. If you'd like one of your own, feel free to PM me.

Humans currently poses an entire intergalactic empire, the aid of their brilliant technologies, and the fundamentals of dark energy have allowed them to succeed to a type three civilisation.
A human named Jack decides to buy a planet called “Harmony” on the intergalactic market. This planet holds residence to dozens of sapient species who all are primitive lifeforms.
He decides to transform into one of the native species, with his intention to cause as much havoc/chaos as possible. At the time of his arrival, most of the world hadn’t seen conflict for well over 1000 years. He plans to change this, by encouraging new ideologies, starting a technological black powder arms race, and ultimately causing wars.

He may look evil to the natives, though according to the intergalactic government, he is implementing nothing illegal. His planet means his rules.

May or may not include Communists

This story is set in Early Season Two, a few episodes after “Return of Harmony”. This is an alternate universe and thus Equestrian girls don't exist, humans are basically just a myth.

Prereader: crimson velvet
Constructive criticism is welcome.

This story is cancelled. I'm currently working on another one, with a similar setting/universe.

You are Anon. Or, at least, you used to be. Sort of. Now you're a filly. Let's just say, you're not thrilled with the change. And with it comes some unforeseen consequences.

Originally Edited by Alex_

Dimitri was an average gopnik who had emerged from the remains of the Soviet Army. Then he got transported to Equestria by Celestia. She told him to go make friends in Ponyville. She also destroyed all his vodka, calling it poison. He swears revenge.

Short one-shot in honor of the founding of the Red Army this year that I forgot about.