• Published 25th Nov 2012
  • 16,447 Views, 372 Comments

Speech Increased To 2.5 - EdBoii

Generic Skyrim guard roams the land of Equestria, holding precious conversation with the natives.

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Skyrim Guard

It was a fine day in the magical land of Equestria. Birds were chirping and the wind was blowing a calm and gentle breeze over the fields and forests, caressing the land and its inhabitants with love and tenderness. Few were those who did not enjoy the day and its glorious endeavors to make everypony happy and joyful.

But one such mare existed that would defy the calm atmosphere and peaceful calm.

Trixie Lulamoon walked slowly and depressed through the wheat fields outside of Fillydelphia, thinking about the humiliation she had experienced earlier that morning, and the day before, and the one before it...

"Blasted ponies and their foolish ignorance! Do they not know that Trixie is the best and most powerful mare in Equestria?!" Trixie kicked at the ground angrily and snorted in annoyance. It was all Sparkle's fault as far as she knew. If it hadn't been for that unicorn she would still have her cart, her fame, and her reputation. All of that was gone now, and the whole of Equestria knew it.

From town to town she had wandered, seeking her audiences of old, but nopony payed her a second glance anymore. She was a showmare without a stage, without a public.

Trixie sighed sadly and kept on walking, the wind brushing past her mane and coat as she moved. The unicorn was heading towards Manehatten, hopeful that the news had not reached the coast by the time she got there.

Trixie looked up at the skies and searched for a sign, a phenomenon that would grant her fame and power like the one she used to hold. Clouds moved softly and carelessly through the blue sea of above. No premonitions or prophecies were seen by her that day.

Letting out another sigh, Trixie moved ahead. Barely noticing the increase in the strength of the wind as she moved.

The wheat fields began to sway back and forth, pushed and pulled by the ever increasing power of nature. Trixie cast a worried look around and quickened her pace, not wanting to be caught by a storm in the middle of a field. The blue mare ran through the wheat and as far as she could into a nearby forest, hoping that the branches of the tree would be enough protection from the wind.

But alas! That was not the greatest of her worries, for the winds and thunder that followed were but signs of a much greater power brewing atop of the skies! From a land of ice and cold, a far stranger creature than the world had ever seen was being dragged into Equestria!

The sky rippled like water and a column of fire, ice and lightning descended unto the land, scorching the wheat beneath it. Trixie gasped and hid behind a large oak tree in hopes of not being harmed by the blast that resulted after the elements collided with the ground.

"Ponyfeathers! What in the hay is going on?!"

An area of twenty five kilometers was suddenly illuminated by red, blue, and white light as the column exploded and faded into oblivion, leaving the fields burnt and useless.

Trixie slowly emerged from her hiding spot, lips quivering with fear and eyes wide.

"Sweet Trixie, what in the name of Trixie has happened?" The conceited mare moved slowly towards the ravaged fields, containing her breath as the scent of scorched dirt filled her nostrils.

She gasped when she saw what awaited her amid the smoke and burnt wheat.

A biped creature clad in scale armor with a yellow cloth running down his shoulder to his waist. The creature sported a metal helmet and a sword. It was a male, given away by the muscular arms and thick build. He was standing in the middle of everything without even noticing the destruction around him.

Trixie gulped and took a step forward.

"M-maybe this is the sign I was waiting for? Will this strange being help Trixie rise to fame once more?"

The closer she got, the stranger the being became. He just stood there, looking off into the distance without a care in the world. Occasionally glancing around or flexing his arms, but nothing more. He was the epitome of stillness.

Trixie stood beside him, carefully thinking to what to do. She took a deep breath and raised a hoof to gently prod the creature.

She froze as he turned to see her, eyes looking indifferently through the thick helm, gazing into her own. Trixie gasped and fell on her back out of fright, the biped simply looked at her for a little longer before speaking in a very deep and thickly accentuated voice.

"You're the one who cast those illusions. Impressive."

Trixie gaped at him for a couple of seconds, wondering how he knew of her special talent, or how he survived the explosion of light of a couple of minutes before. Perhaps he was some sort of magician? A god? Maybe he was a creation of Discord's back when he ruled the-

"No lollygagging."

Trixie blinked and frowned. "Who are you to tell the Great and Powerful Trixie how to act?! Such insolence! Why you-"

"You're that one from the college. Heard about you."

Trixie blushed furiously as the memories of her wild college years rushed through her mind. Turns out that drinking and a bathroom mirror did not go well with her narcissistic tendencies.

"What?! Tr... Trixie doesn't know what you're talking about! It's all lies! Meant to soil Trixie's good name! Trixie swears!" She looked from side to side, worriedly hoping nopony was hearing the awkward exchange.


"N-no! Not at all! We do not want any trouble! Here, have these coins and make sure not to tell anypony about this ok?" Trixie pulled out a bag of bits and threw them at the guard's feet before dashing out of sight as fast as her embarrassed legs could take her.

The guard did not notice her leave, nor did he pay much mind to the bag of coins at his feet. He just stared off into the distance and flexed his muscles once more.

"I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead."

And so he departed, making his way to the nearest settlement in the horizon.