• Published 25th Nov 2012
  • 18,321 Views, 382 Comments

Speech Increased To 2.5 - EdBoii



Generic Skyrim guard roams the land of Equestria, holding precious conversation with the natives.

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Hollow Shades Part 1

Hollow Shades

“Is that… fur? Coming out of your ears?”

“For the thousandth time, yes! Yes it is! I am a pony, and I have fur in my ears! Is that so hard to understand?!”

“What is it, imperial?”

“You’re getting on my nerves! That’s what!”

*Ribbit*

Our heroes marched through the fog and foliage, wading across a shallow stream and into a minuscule wheat field as they followed the path deeper into the forest. It was dark, terribly so; it had come to the point where not even the fog was visible, as night had obviously descended upon the small group of heroes.

The toad and the guard, followed by their prisoner Shining Armor, had been walking for several minutes in complete silence. Not a bird, a raccoon, nor an alicow present to fill the night with beautiful sounds of chanting, raccooning, or mooing magically through cow-horns.

It was eerie to say the least. The trees loomed over our brave heroes as they jumped over fallen logs and twisted roots that stretched over the unkempt dirt road, making the trek perilous and exhausting. Yet they kept up their pace, intent on getting Shining Armor to the nearest jail—which was something the confused stallion could not truly understand, as any jail they went to would belong to Equestria anyways.

But their peaceful walk would not last long. There, amidst the darkness and shadows of the trees, a creature lurked. The beast watched with undefined intent as our heroes walked through its territory, but as stealthy as it was, it couldn’t avoid every single twig.

*Snap*

The guard turned around on his heels and stared. He looked through the trees and searched for the source of the noise, his hand hovering over the hilt of his sword.

Shining Armor stopped walking and turned to face the guard—eyebrow raised and steady on his hooves, ready to defend himself should an attacker appear. The stallion did as the guard had, and eyed the woodland around them; he tried his hardest to see past the fog and darkness, but all was in vain.

“You hear that? I swear, there’s something out there. In the dark.” The stallion eyed the guard, slightly unsettled by his words.

“What do you mean? You can’t tell me you’re afraid of a few trees, right?”

Our famed hero turned to look at Shining, his helmet concealing any manner of expression he could have had, and he spoke.

“I fear the night. Because werewolves and vampires don’t.”

Shining Armor blinked, a light chill running down his spine as the thought sank in. The stallion turned to look at the surrounding flora with a more wary eye; steeling himself for an attack should it come. His horn glowed in-

‘Wait… I can still use my horn!”

Facehooving for his own stupidity, Shining Armor set his magic free on his two captors, and sent the guard and his slimy companion tumbling backwards with a strong magical push before darting away into the darkness, his eloquent words echoing through the shadows.

“So long criminal scum!”

The guard fell on his backside, managing to land on a small puddle of slime and staining his cuirass on the last three lettered part of said word. His trusty companion faring no better, as his beautiful toad-face landed square on a differently-colored puddle of equal matter.

“Be careful!” Hollered our dear protagonist as he slowly stood back up, his sore backside still wet with what seemed to be lime-colored green goo. But alas! His excellent choice for words would not save him this time! For as he stood; the slime that had collected on his butt began to fall onto the ground and pile up behind him, taking the form of… something.

“By the gods! What manner of power is that?” The guard looked on in passive non-caringness as the slime piled up and began to transform into the shape of a lime-green earth pony with a cutie-mark depicting a gooey pool of light purple liquid.

The mass completed its transformation and glared with evil glee at our beloved hero, both of its pale blue eyes shining with malice.

“Ha! I gotcha, fool!” The slimy pony took a threatening step forward, with his body and pale orange mane dripping as if made from liquid—which it probably was.

“In all my years, I’ve never seen such a thing…” was the confused reply from our hero as he tried to process the economic implications of such a creature. Would it permit for easier unification of wooden structures and allow for cheaper building materials, or was it too difficult to acquire so that only jarls and thanes would be able to construct with it? And would it drip for that matter? It certainly wouldn’t-

Oh, right! The fight! Ahem.

The slimy pony winced slightly, and its ears drooped downwards, but it didn’t break its fighting stance.

“I’m not a ‘thing’ you know; just because I’m a Goo-Pony doesn’t mean you get to call me names…”

It was then, right in that precise moment, that our hero realized something. He had seen it before and not too long ago either. It had plagued the mind of another pony, and so it plagued this one’s as well.

The pony and guard stared at each other, one seeking a way to bring the second one down, and the other attempting to find the words to mend injured pride. But as all of this happened, it was behind them that a second battle took place.

“Stop! Please! It hurts!”

Pony screams filled the air as a valiant struggle took place between toad and equine. Neither surrendered, none gave up ground as their foe advanced. It was a god-thought battle of the ages, and it seemed like there would be no victo-

“I give! I give! Please stop licking my tummy!”

Wait… what?

The toad retracted its tongue and jumped backwards, doing a backflip before landing behind its prey. Said pony was sprawled on the ground, squirming and struggling to contain the giggles and laughter that the thorough belly-licking had left in its wake.

Our brave toad croaked in its heroic and elegant manner before eyeing the pony with indifference that almost rivaled that of our beloved guard, but fell short on the amount of style required to carry it out. Regardless, the mare before it melted almost immediately, and quite literally too.

She gave a final giggle before turning into a pool of liquid that resembled a rose in color, and lurched towards our toad of a hero. The toad gave a startled croak but managed little else as the oozing substance completely surrounded it and rendered any movement impossible.

The rose-colored goo gave an echoing giggle as the toad was encompassed and immobilized; it sounded ethereal and omnipresent, with its source undefined and mysterious. But the owner was well known, and made itself apparent as the mare’s face modeled itself out of the shapeless goo.

“Hey there…” Said the mare’s head; now fully formed and staring straight at the face of our toad.

The amphibious hero stared right back at her, and out of its mouth came the most eloquent piece of speech ever listened to or admired by sapient beings. Sadly enough, it was so pure that by simply not being there to hear it, you become unworthy of its words. Thus, you may never hear it.

The mare smiled, and planted a light peck on the toad’s head causing no reaction whatsoever. It was an iron-hearted toad.

But back to our beloved guard we must return! For he was amidst a combat of the ages against a foe of similar prowess, and the fighting was about to increase in intensity.

The goo-pony lashed out with a hoof, but the blow was absorbed by the… huh… he didn’t even try to avoid the hit; he simply took it to the chest and grunted out a threat. Incredible training these guys get…

Matters not! For as the monster pony puzzled over his failed attack, the brave guard raised his arm—sword in hand, and brought it down with tremendous force against the pony’s head. The blade slashed cleanly through the abomination of nature, slicing it apart in a clean swipe.

The pony’s legs buckled, and his body fell apart; turning into a pool of slime before our guard. Our hero turned around and faced the trapped toad.

To his unsurprised nonexistent shock, the toad was already free and staring intently ahead, at seemingly, nothing. The guard reciprocated the action, and for several minutes nothing happened.

“Staying safe, I hope?”

*Ribbit*

“Trouble?”

*Ribbit*

The guard swiftly turned around, preparing himself for another attack thanks to the well-timed advice from his faithful companion. He was ready before the werepony struck.

A savage howl raged through the ears of all present as the half-wolf half-pony burst from the concealment of the trees and lashed out at the guard; his shield was barely able to block the worst part of the assault, and he came out from the attack with nary a scratch.

The toad hollered a mighty war-cry that rose into the very heavens before leaping in defense of its comrade. The powerful *ribbit* echoed ahead as the toad landed squarely on the face of the lycanthropic equine; effectively blinding it for several precious seconds.

The guard recovered from the previous blow just as the wolf threw the toad aside in anger; it landed a few meters away from the dueling fighters, unmoving.

“You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?”

The werepony snarled viciously, pale cream fur mixing in with the fog around it; a bright two-toned blue and pink stripe ran down from its head and all the way back to the base of its neck, contrasting vividly with the dark atmosphere of the forest.

The guard glared with uninterested strength and steeled resolve of the likes which only a rock could conjure. The werepony began circling around him, and he made sure to keep himself between his injured comrade and the beast. Alas that he did not pay closer attention to the puddle of slime he had believed defeated!

Our brave guard suddenly lost his footing, feeling the ground disappear from underneath him and then reappearing far too close to his face for comfort. Standing on his back was the lime-colored pony from before, his hooves leaking slime into the guard’s cuirass.

“Ha! Gotcha again, fool!”

From the corner of his eye, the guard could make out the struggling shape of his toad-friend. The slimy knight placed leg after the other, trembling greatly as it tried to move forward; concern showing clearly across his otherwise passive features, and the desperation in his step was obvious in the way it continued onward despite the obvious pain it suffered.

On quivering legs and broken bones, the toad tried one final time to defend its friend. It opened its mouth and aimed, tongue ready to lash out at the attacking werepony.

But stopped as it caught the guard’s look.

“Stay out of trouble, Argonian.”

Such few words, but so sincere. The toad stayed its tongue and watched helplessly as the goo-pony encompassed the guard in its slime and forced him to move ahead, deeper into the forest. The werepony howled into the night one final time and followed.

It was there, amidst the darkness of the forest and the shallow dampness of the woodland, that a toad; a simple swamp beast with no more thought than the average rock, finally realized what it had gained, and what it could lose.

With a pained croak, the toad returned to its attempts at moving. Earnest in its task to rescue the guard.

To rescue its friend.