• Published 1st Jul 2018
  • 1,823 Views, 64 Comments

oi blyat - Russian Bank Teller



Angry former army gopnik tries to kill Celestial after she accidentally destroyed his vodka. Hilarity Ensuses

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OI BLYAAAAAAAAAT

“Suka, blyat” Dimitri swore as he walked out of the train station. That, blyat, damn horse, the pink, blyat, huinya, blyat,... I mean white princess, blyat, stole all my, blyat, vodka, yob tvoyu mat! How am I supposed to get drunk now, blyat?! Wait... AHA! I will nahui stab her, blyat, until she gives it back, blyat! Perfect, blyat. Now how do I get back to CanterBerry, tvoyu mat? Or is it, blyat, CaterMountain? Is it, blyat, Canterlot? Ah, nahui, blyat, whatever.

“Are you okay? Hello? Earth to human?” A purple horse with a tiara said as she desperately tried to get his attention.

“Huh? Who are you, yobanyi v rot?”

“I’m Princess Celestia’s personal student! Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia told me to take care of you while you are here in Ponyville.”

“Nah. Idi, blyat, v pizdu, blyat. fuck you”

“Wha-“ She was cut off as he stabbed her in the eye with a broken vodka bottle. All the ponies around him screamed. He quickly boarded the train and took it over after a liberal application of glass to a train conductor’s face.

“I’m off to CanterMaine! Those Sukas won’t know what hit them! Blyat!”