//------------------------------//
// OI BLYAAAAAAAAAT 
// Story: oi blyat 
// by Russian Bank Teller 
//------------------------------//

“Suka, blyat” Dimitri swore as he walked out of the train station. That, blyat, damn horse, the pink, blyat, huinya, blyat,... I mean white princess, blyat, stole all my, blyat, vodka, yob tvoyu mat! How am I supposed to get drunk now, blyat?! Wait... AHA! I will nahui stab her, blyat, until she gives it back, blyat! Perfect, blyat. Now how do I get back to CanterBerry, tvoyu mat? Or is it, blyat, CaterMountain? Is it, blyat, Canterlot? Ah, nahui, blyat, whatever.

“Are you okay? Hello? Earth to human?” A purple horse with a tiara said as she desperately tried to get his attention.

“Huh? Who are you, yobanyi v rot?”

“I’m Princess Celestia’s personal student! Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia told me to take care of you while you are here in Ponyville.”

“Nah. Idi, blyat, v pizdu, blyat. fuck you”

“Wha-“ She was cut off as he stabbed her in the eye with a broken vodka bottle. All the ponies around him screamed. He quickly boarded the train and took it over after a liberal application of glass to a train conductor’s face. 

“I’m off to CanterMaine! Those Sukas won’t know what hit them! Blyat!”