• Published 14th Jan 2019
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The World is my Sandbox - PoniesMine

A human buys a planet called “Harmony” and decides to mess around with the natives. What could possibly go wrong when he provides weapons never even thought to exist?

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Chapter One: Planet Harmony

“The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits.”
-Albert Camus

Chapter One: Planet Harmony

I rub my eyes and stretch across my single bed. White walls surround me, and crimson carpet plagues the floor. My striped pyjamas stick out like a sore thumb from the rest of the room, as the materials are an eye threatening neon yellow.

God, I feel like crap.

Slowly but surely moving out of bed, I however misjudge how close I am to the edge and end up depositing my body on the floor, really hard. This gave my body the jolt it needed to be woken up to the fullest extent.

“FUCK!” I screeched, the carpet however muffled my voice causing it to become unrecognisable. I better not of broken a rib like last time.

I walked out of my bedroom straight into the living area out of the door. Sunlight greets me in an almost blinding way through the window on the opposite side. Forcing myself to cover my eyes with my arm.

The living room is the same style as my bedroom, except a comfy flush, dull brown couch occupies the left corner of the room and a holographic vision (HV) located on the wall opposite to it. Honestly, this is the place where I’ve spent most of my life. To the right is the garage, where I keep my Pajero Space Car.

“Good morning Jack,” routinely stated my home assistant AI.

“Fuck you too,” I replied. When you spend most of your life with one of these things, they tend to get on your nerves. Plus, it’s a requirement for all Earth citizens to have one.

I continued to walk, and turn left into the kitchen area. This is the best area of the house, it’s where I eat, which is one of my favourite activities.

“Is there anything I can get you this morning?” the AI said in the same monochrome women voice.

“Sultana Brand, with a glass of chocolate milk, thanks,” I calmly stated. Chocolate milk always boosts my mood.

The kitchen area is surrounded in white walls, and instead of the blood carpet, there is white tiles, which have the ability to heat up. Mmmmmmm, nice and warm.
On the left side is located an ‘L’ shaped aluminium bench, with a series of different cereal boxes on top and a standard square wooden table located in the centre of the room.
I pulled back one of the two wooden chairs and sat down at the table. Where I’m greeted with two robotic arms that originate from the ceiling, that deposit by breakfast on the table, in front of me.

I quickly snatch the spoon from the right side of the bowl, and scoff down the cereal in a very undignified manner. Nobody has yet to beat me in a food contest.

Before I know it, I look down at my bowl and its empty. Without even any thought, my eyes lock onto the chocolate milk. I can feel my lips trembling in anticipation. Using my right hand, I rap my fingers around the glass and practically throw the fluid into my mouth. While savouring the flavour on my taste buds, I lean over and grab my holographic tablet from the other side of the table.

I unlock the device by swiping to the right side. While staring at my tablet, I stand up from my chair and walk back into the living room. People state that only women can multitask, I guess that I’m just special.

I let my butt sink into the luscious couch, and lean back into it.
I swear, if anything is any more comfortable then this couch, I will sell everything that I care for just to get my hands on it. Well, except for my prized possession. The Land Pattern Musket, nicknamed the “Brown Bess”.

Moving my vision up from my tablet, to stare at the shelf adjacent to the holographic HV, where sitting on top of it is the carefully preserved gun, from the mid 1700s. This particular musket is a smooth barrel, and was originally used in the colonisation of Australia. It has been passed over the generations through my family, admittedly the wood stock and the flint and steel has been replaced several times. The metal is also polished to perfection, this however does lessen the value. I couldn’t care less though.

I sometimes like to take it to a shooting range, although I do get quite a few odd looks. Nobody shoots gunpowder weapons anymore, let alone a musket. Some people almost scream at me that I was ruining a historical artifact, what’s the point in having an object sitting and collecting dust? When it could actually be used in what it was designed to do? In fact, serval museums have offered a fuck load of money for it, honestly I just don’t want it to sit behind a glass panel for all of existence.

I return my focus back onto my tablet, and begin to scroll down the online intergalactic market website.

Eventually I spot a planet that is familiar, Mars. Why would this planet be for sale? It’s practically the biggest tourist attraction, of course second to Earth. The entire planet is actually one massive historical reserve. The place is known for the ‘adventure’ tourist attractions. Where you get to experience what is was like for the first settlers. It is however, ridiculously expensive.

The cost of the place is so big, I can’t even read it.

Once I had enough of the ‘expensive’ section, I decided to move onto the cheap planets, the ones nobody really wants. I start to scroll down.

Lava ball, water ball, another lava ball, stone ball, water ball, radiation ball, ice ball, and another lava ball. Useless planets, they have basically no natural resources and usually no life. Literally nobody wants them. Sometimes, people like to blow them up for fun.

I added serval tags into the search area, “Habitability: 80%>”, “Status: No contact” and “Sapient Lifeforms”.

This brings up around twenty planets, all of which haven’t changed since seven months ago. They’re all unless in my books, the planets’ sapient creatures are at best tribal, and hadn’t even invented agriculture.

I’ve always wanted to buy a planet and mess around with the natives on it, by mostly wrecking diplomatic havoc, resulting in conflicts. I have yet to find an appropriate planet though.

That is, until now.

On the bottom of the list, is a new planet that got recently added on the market, around three hours ago. The planet is called “Fevour 1267”, and it’s nicknamed “Harmony”.

Without giving it much thought, I quickly use my finger to bring up more information on the planet.

Planet: Fevour 1267 or Harmony
Value: C 2,600,000
Section: Bravo 1729
Habitability: 98%
Diametre: 11,900km (7,400mi)
Gravity: 9.73m/s^-2
Status: No contact
Resources: Ridiculously Scarce
Geological Activity: Extremely low
Average Era: Early Medieval
Dominant Species: Multiple

Description: Land mass consists of one massive supercontinent, referred to as ‘Poteria’. Atmosphere has the ability to support human life, consists of next to no greenhouse gases. Nitrogen 76%, Oxygen 23%, Carbon Dioxide 0.016%, Other Gases 0.984%.
Environment contains a small amount of deadly creatures, which occasionally prey on native settlements.
40% of the natural planet has been put on a leash due to the control of weather through dark energy, by the pony race ‘pegasus’. This has destroyed the natural process of the ‘water cycle’ and resulted in the deaths of over 95% of the native species in the affected areas. 20% of forests have been lost due to deforestation, and areas that still remain are highly regulated and secured.
Territory occupied by conventional species are still exposed by the natural processes.

History: More than 2000 years ago, the planet was chosen for a scientific experiment for the impacts of control of dark energy in biological lifeforms, and the result of several different sapient creatures living on the same planet. The species were created by early biological fabricators, and as a result all species were based off Earth DNA. Only one species (pony) was given control of dark energy, while the rest had to make do with conventional means.
Results; Originally different races of the same species (pony) were in conflict. Evidently combined into a single country under two immortal rulers. Most of the planet hasn’t seen conflict for over 1000 years and is therefore mostly unfamiliar with the concept. Although some conventional creatures have maintained a military mindset, due to the occasional civil war or domestic conflict.

Resources: The planet contains next to no uranium and plutonium, and areas with deposits are no larger than a few kilograms. The planet has had a large history of containing basic animal lifeforms for millions of years, and therefore there are huge deposits of fossil fuels.
Metals such as iron, aluminium, copper, and even gold are in a large abundance.
Due to the low geological activity, sulphur and other materials formed around magma are in a very limited amount. Ground fertility is also generally a problem, due to 40% of the natural environment on a leash. Dark energy from the ‘Earth Pony’ race mostly solved this problem.

Sapient Species:

Note: All species speak English, with only slight variations.

Small Horse or ‘Pony’;
Intelligence: 8
Hostility: 2
Era: Early Medieval
Description: The dominant species, most likely due to their control of dark energy. As a result, their country occupies over 40% of the available land mass. Ponies are also the most peaceful species, and as a result are the worst in military tradition, and advance extremely slowly technologically wise. Consists of four races, Pegasus (can fly and manipulate weather), Unicorn (con control the frequency and amplitude of dark energy), Earth Pony (directly influences the ground), and Pagacorns (contains all three aspects).
However, has advanced considerably with dark energy in retrospect, created similar concepts to an engine that is powered by dark energy. It is however, like everything powered by dark energy, weak. Requires constant recharge, and engines aren’t powerful.

Eagle-Lions or ‘Griffons’;
Intelligence: 7
Hostility: 6
Era: Mid-Late Medieval
Description: Griffons are naturally great killers, and with a reasonable amount of hostility. This results in them holding onto the highest technology. Inventions like the cross bow and printing press were made by these species, they were however stolen by foreign countries. Has almost perfected the construction of steel.

Bipedal Cows or ‘Minotaur’;
Intelligence: 3
Hostility: 9
Era: Mid Classical
Description: Minotaurs are by far the most hostile, and are the most deadly by nature. This species has seen the most domestic conflicts, and a civil war had occurred in the last century. Due to constant conflict, and low natural intelligence. This species don’t have the ability to develop much technology, and struggle with coming up with tactics. These creatures can get very emotional, particularly when it come to rage, causing entire armies to often charge without thinking first.

Intelligence: 9
Hostility: 4.5
Era: Mid Medieval
Description: Zebras are the most human like mentally, this particular species is all about structure and order. Although, a moderate percentage of the population lives in tribes, they are currently in the process of uniting. This was due to their easy pickings, and as a result species like the Minotaurs declare war occasionally, and there is sometimes conflict between each settlements. They are always the best when it comes to conflict, due to their tactics and overall patience.

Other minor Species: Bug-horse, Goat, Large Dogs, Buffalo, Dragons, Donkeys.

I’ve never seen a planet this promising before, this will suit my needs perfectly. Plus its cost is reasonable, I have over 15x the required amount to purchase this rock.

With a squee, and a small leap on the couch. I quickly tap on the ‘Buy Now’ button.

Before I do anything though, I need to change out of my pyjamas, that comes first.

The garage is one of the places I rarely visit, since I don’t bother to go out that often. It is the place now however, where I am currently standing.

I decided to wear a white shirt, with a red over garment (unbuttoned), and cargo brown plants. I must say, I think my choice of clothes is very snazzy.

Surrounding myself on all sides is graphene reinforced concrete, which is similar to regular concrete but slightly lighter in colour. In front of me, a large metal bench that occupies the far side of the room, is currently supporting several items required for my trip to the planet ‘Harmony’.

I pick my tablet from the corner of the beach and begin to go down a predetermined checklist.

  • Small fusion reactor, check.
  • Advanced AI network USB stick, check.
  • Robotic Fabricator, check.
  • Atomic Fabricator, check.
  • Regeneration Pod, check.
  • Condensed 50 tonne iron block, check.
  • Spare car fuel cell, check.
  • Pyjamas, check.
  • Toiletries and towel, check.
  • Tooth brush, tooth paste, check
  • Land Pattern Musket (slightly modified trigger system), with ammunition, check.
  • Cuddle sized teddy bear, check.

What? My teddy is important, without it I have trouble going to sleep. Don’t judge.
I picked up the Fusion Reactor, which is a half a metre by half a metre cube (1.6 feet by 1.6 feet) , and began to carry it over to the boot of my Pajero space car. Which is this awesome black four wheel hover car, with a large boot. I occasionally drive over some asteroid belts with it, though I mostly did that sort of stuff when I was younger.

Wait, why am I just carrying over stuff manually? When I can get my home assistant AI to be my slave?

Finishing what I started, I practically lob the fusion reactor into the car, causing it to make a loud THUD.

“OY! AI would you move the stuff from the metal bench to the boot of my car?” I asked. Quickly turning to the bench in order to watch the items being moved.

“Moving objects from ‘metal bench’ to ‘back of Jack’s car’,” it replied.

I wait a few seconds…

And a few more….

Alright, I’ll wait two more seconds…

Why is the stuff still on the table? I turn back around to face the open boot of the car.

It's full of cereal boxes.

“AI, what are you doing?” I stated in a somewhat shaky voice, attempting to subdue my anger.

“You didn’t specify which ‘bench’ so I automatically assumed the kitchen one,” that piece of shit. I swear I herd light chuckles in the background, since when did AIs have a personality?

“Could you please just move the stuff from the garage bench to the boot of my car?” I sternly remarked.

There was a brief pause.

“Would you like me to keep the ‘boxes of cereal’ in the back of Jack’s car?” it replied.

I face palmed, hard. Dam it! That frickn’ hurt. “No! Would you PLEASE just place the only objects from what’s on the bench, that is located in the garage” I said through my clenched teeth.

Robotic arms began to appear from the ceiling, and move the objects into the back of my car.
Fucking Finally!

With everything packed, this left me with one more thing left to check off, to transform myself into one of the native species.

On the far right side of the garage, is a white round pad roughly one metre (3 feet) in diameter. I walk and stand on top of it, facing the wall where a small holographic HV is located.

“AI, show potential species for planet nicknamed ‘Harmony’, ”I asked.

“Confirmed,” the AI replied.

The HV lit up to show a series of different images. Each consisting of a different native species, with the appropriate ‘scientific’ name beneath it. If the local inhabitants find out that I’m an ‘alien’, it’ll be impossible for me to wreak havoc.

Is it just me or do all the creatures look like they’re from a cartoon?

I begin to scroll across my options, and eventually nail it down to two species, a Minotaur or Pony.
The minotaurs have a somewhat similar body shape to humans, although they have a much bigger build and only four fingers. Ponies on the other hand, are completely different from humans, they have no finger like appendages, and are completely covered in fur. Although they have physical disadvantages to other species, they generally make up for it with their dark energy.

Physically I’d prefer a Minotaur, but considering how hostile they are, and how intelligent. I think I’d fit more inside the pony society.

“AI, select species ‘Pony’, ”I declared.

“Confirmed, please select race,” the AI replied.

The stacks of images were replaced with four new ones, each pony with purple fur and a light pink mane. The first one has a horn on its forehead, labeled ‘Unicorn’ underneath. The second has wing appendages on its sides, it’s called a ‘Pegasus’. Next is the regular horse called the ‘Earth Pony’. Last, but certainly not least is the Pegacorn, who has both wings and a horn.

Considering I don’t have wings, and I can control dark energy with cheap corner store technology, and I have no idea how to control the energy biologically, I decided to pick the Earth Pony. Although, apparently the Pegacorn is usually considered to be a God on this planet, maybe I could be the God of War? Na, I’ll end up drawing too much attention to myself.

“Select Earth Pony,” I calmly stated.

“Confirmed, activating manual controls to select appearance,” The AI replied. Nice.

A familiar keyboard and mouse appears, from underneath the HV in front of me. The HV highlights three different colour pallets, each for a respective body appendage. A series of value sliders and other buttons are located underneath the pallets, with the ability to continue to adjust the

My model, which is presented accordingly to what is selected, is located in the bottom right corner of the screen.

I decided to go for a white coat, a crimson mane (the same colour as my carpet), and red eyes. Everything else I decided to keep as default. Besides the butt picture, I decided to pick a nuclear mushroom explosion, cus’ it looks cool.

“I would suggest selecting the ‘female’ gender, as according to a study conducted in 4834, matriarchy is the native social system, which is most likely caused by the low ratio of males to females by 1: 6,“ the AI directed.

Well, that’s not going to happen. “I would rather die than give up my man card.” I grunted, while crossing my arms over my chest. Actually now that I think about it, I’ve died several times, that remark literally meant nothing.

“My calculations suggest that you’ll have a 57.54% higher chance in accomplishing your directives,” it pointed out. Well, fuck. I can’t argue with that. I may as well, considering I already invested too much into my little ‘project’. I mean, what is my man card worth anyway? It’s not like people haven’t done this sort of thing before.

*Sigh* “Fine, let's just get this over and done with,” I groaned. Using my finger, I selected ‘female’ then practically slammed the enter button with the edge of my fist.

I hate AIs.

Gradually, a wiring sound originating from underneath the pad, begins to increase in volume, until it’s almost deafening. I hate loud sounds, companies have the ability to literally counteract any sound by using particular material, why don’t they just—

A bright flash of white light interrupted my thoughts.

Once it cleared, I was able to take in my surroundings, and promptly fall over.

“SHIT!” I yelled.

My ‘new’ face and body smack against the ground, with a large THUMP.

How could I of forgotten? My centre of gravity would of changed as I became a Quadrilateral.

Groaning, I slowly tried to push myself off the floor.

Which to my surprise actually worked.

“All transformations come pre-installed with basic movement guides,” AI pointed out.

Thanks for reminding me how stupid I am, sheila.

I swirled my head up until it locked with the HV, I swear that it never used to be that high, my height must signify the typical vertical measurement of this species, which is tiny. I was at least 2x times taller when I was human. God, this makes me feel insignificant, and weak. No wonder this species is supposed to be the least hostile.

I move my head to latch position with my front arms (legs?), the sudden action caused red to fill up half my vision. Fan fucking tastic. That must be my hair, mane or whatever. If I don’t deal with this soon, it’s going to get in my way and become incredibly annoying.

I quickly attempt to swipe it away with one of my forelegs, and end up hitting myself square in the face.

God damn it! Why do these things have to be so frickn’ hard! Its like someone put slabs of concrete on the end of these appendages.

While my right foreleg is up, I inspect it. White fur with a clump of slightly yellow keratin located on the base. Just as I expected.

I swirled my head around to study the rest of my figure. Wow, this pony neck is surprisingly nimble.

My clothes are still on, I almost forgot the machine automatically fits the current outfit to the new species. The short-sleeved shirt is still the same white colour which almost blends with my fur, the red over garment still unbuttoned, both seem to travel three quarters down my back. My light brown cargo pants starts roughly at this area and continues to travel near the top of my back hooves.

A thick crimson tail also extends from behind, which precedes through a hole in the back of my trousers, practically touching the floor.

I return my attention forward, and spin around.

Wow, the AI seems to be right about moving. It's like I’ve done this sort of thing before.

I need to find a mirror though, in order to properly witness my new form.

I begin to walk with iterate and loud CLIP CLOPS. A ninja or spy would never work in this sort of body, the targets would know where you are miles away.

I continue to move past the living area, and turn left into my bedroom, eventually arriving in front of the mirror dresser.

First thing I notice is my muzzle, and its distinct round shape, like a female…. Ignore that thought, let's not be reminded.

Moving on.

My eyes are huge, like the size of small dinner plates. The irises incorporated within appear to be able to pierce into my very soul. I think anyone would easily get mesmerised just by staring at them. This would be perfect on Halloween. I slowly give myself an evil grin. Fuck, that’s creepy. All I need is some eye liner and I’ll have the complete look.

Two equine ears poke out of my sorry excuse of a mane, and seem to be automatically slightly swivelling to tiny background noises.

I turn my body to the side, to earn a clear view of the rest of my figure. I don’t think I’ve seen so much red on a single creature before, red hair, red eyes, red tail, red shirt. I think that even if I roll in blood, people are still not going to notice anything physically different about me. Well, except the coat, but that’s besides the point.

My pants seem to be covering my butt mark, so I reach back with my right foreleg and pull down the pants slightly to acquire a closer look. Wait… How did I just do that? I have no fingers! Solid substances with no added appendages shouldn’t have the ability…Wait a second, dark energy has the ability to levitate stuff. That must be it.

I returned my attention to my buttocks, and gazed the image adorning my flank.

It looks remarkable! Pretty much summarises what I’m going to be carrying out, chaos.

Now that I’m appeased with my physical figure, I decide to head back into the garage.

This reminds me of the time I changed physically into a ‘zombie’ for Halloween, I don’t think that I’ve had that much fun in a single night ever since. It was first time that I had used the Biological Fabricator, as the minimum age requirement is 18. I really should get out more often.

By the time my thoughts had finished, I’m already standing in the garage.

While approaching the car, I open the side door by tapping the outside of the car twice, causing it to slide backwards.

I use my four legs and hop into the front right seat, and obtain a comfortable position by tucking my hind legs under myself.

“AI,” I stated.

Fuck, now my voice is feminine. At least if I was male, my crotch would be uncomfortable in my current bearings.

“Set car course for section Bravo 1729, planet ‘Harmony’. Set visibility to true, select landing position in a concealed area.”

“Acknowledged,” it replied.

The car immediately began to hum in a low audible sound, and the roof of the garage started to slide open.

What my favourite aspect about any car is the ‘all surround window’ feature, it results in all possible surfaces to become transparent from the inside, that is besides the seats though. Ever since the government has made it compulsory, crash rates have dropped almost by 40%. Nice odds if you ask me.

The space Pajero lifted up from the garage floor and exited through the roof, accelerating to 142 kms/h.

“Initiating warp drive now,” the AI informed.

Now what’s for lunch? I think I’ll have spaghetti with a nice topping of chaos salad, and bits of cheese, that's always nice.

The car disappears in a flash.

Author's Note:

How'd you like the first chapter? Have any constrictive criticism? Put it in the comments below!

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