• Published 14th Jan 2019
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The World is my Sandbox - PoniesMine

A human buys a planet called “Harmony” and decides to mess around with the natives. What could possibly go wrong when he provides weapons never even thought to exist?

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Chapter Three: Gathering Information Part 1

Chapter 3: Gathering Information

The forest was moving past me at a credible rate as I trotted south, towards the ritual town just as my AI instructed.

I recently made my exit from my home after changing into my clothes from yesterday, furthermore, I packed a few extra items like food and some water canteens in my saddlebags. Like beforehand, I stowed my musket in the right sack, all loaded and ready to fire.

God, I love my gun.

Evidently, I come across a small pathway, according to my master brain logic skills, it has a high probability that it'll lead to town.

With an easy decision in mind, I follow the dirt track and come across a small house.

Weird, I don’t understand why someone would live all the way out here. Not when there is clearly deadly creatures in this environment.

Not that I can say anything, although I can easily defend myself.

Eh, whatever, it’s not my problem it’s theirs.

After that thought, I continue on my way.

This reminds me, hopefully, the fabricator will be done by the time I get back with the defences, weapon production facility and the bathroom. I’d prefer not to wash in the river again. Ever.

Before I know it, I arrive into a huge clearing, I furthermore set my eyes upon a town about half a kilometre out.

Welp, let's see how my first encounter goes. Speaking of that, I think it may be necessary to think of a name in addition to a backstory.


Nah, I’ll just wing it. Too bad I’m not a Pegasus.

My inside joke caused myself a light chuckle.

People, after all, used to call me the pun King.

As I continue to trot forward, I noticed view farmlands. It would be somewhat interesting to investigate how the locals work the fields compared to humans during this similar era.

I wonder, do they cultivate the field themselves? Using their own bodies to physically pull ploughs through the dirt, just like when the humans used horses before the agricultural revolution? What about transportation? Do they pull the carriages as well? That would be pretty ironic, and stupid.

God, I come up with some pretty far fetched ideas.

A light breeze ruffles my mane, momentarily distracting myself from my thoughts.

That felt nice, particularly since I have fur covering my entire body, with clothes on top. I wouldn’t be surprised if the natives here wear a limited amount of clothing. I’ve come across some species (when I mean ‘come across’, I refer to google images) that are only clothed in garments that cover the ‘essential’ areas, the quadrupedals here most likely do the same. Of course, I’m just making some educational guesses, attempting to entertain myself while I travel to my destination.

At this stage, the buildings are becoming increasingly more detailed, and multi-coloured blobs walking around in the settlement come into view, as the town is only a few hundred metres away.

Every building that I caught sight of, had thatched roofs. Those were typically around during the ancient era on Earth, the medieval and classical eras preferred to use sturdier materials such as stone and wood. Not primitive resources like thatch. Then again, poor villages sometimes used cheaper resources. Maybe this place is considered to be apart of the poorer sector? Besides the roof, the rest of the buildings seem to have a medieval theme going on. Most, two or three stories high, which is absurd considering this is a rural town. Cities are normally like this in order to preserve space, this area, on the other hand, has plenty of leftover territory.

Every structure seems somewhat randomly placed, a few large clearings have the most concentrated amount of locals, are destined as main roads, constructed from gravel. Besides these areas, the rest of the ground is disgustingly covered in grass.

I’m not used to perceiving so much ‘green’ in an urban zone, let alone basically no order or structure.

This results in a light scowl to spread across my features, I hate when people do stuff the way I’m not used to.

Just as I come out of my thoughts, I arrive at the edge of town.

Okay, so my objective is to engage with the locals and obtain information, give myself a rough idea of the general technological level, current political situations, and geography (I have no idea who controls what territory).

Trotting forward, I begin to glance around myself, and the first thing I notice is EVERY SINGLE CREATURE IS NAKED! BRUTTO!

What is wrong with this species?!?!! I can clearly see EVERYTHING, its like it’s one massive nude beach, but instead of a small area. IT’S AN ENTIRE TOWN.

Nope, fuck this I’m out.

I clamp my eyes shut, and swiftly spin on the spot, embarking on a journey back to base. This may seem weird to some of the locals, just waltzing up to a town and leaving, at first sight, I, however, couldn’t care less. My mannerism is at stake.

Seriously, I’ve never seen such disgusting behaviour from a sapient species. If these people were apart of the UDPRE, this would be illegal.

Do they view wearing clothes as rude? I hope not, I’m not going to walk around naked, turning into the opposite gender was enough.

“HI!” squealed an unidentified voice.

Who was that?

I open my eyes slightly and spin back around to attain a peep at this unexacting offender.

A pink pony. A PINK FREAKING PONY!? How did this of all creatures sneak up on me?

Why is she so close to my face? There is such a thing called personal space, that is unless if these ponies don’t have personal space?

God, I hope she’s not naked, that has all sorts of alarm bells going off in my head.


Annnnnnd, she’s gone.

“What the fuck?” I questioned while glancing around speciously. I mean seriously, what the actual fuck? She was here, and then she wasn’t.

You know what? I’ll just blame it on dark energy.

And now that I’m facing the town again, I have a clear view of all the inhabitants, including their ‘unique' dressing choices.

If I just pretend they’re all wild animals, or wearing clothes I’m sure I could get used to this.

...I think.

This gives me an even more of a reason to disregard them, only disgusting, backward creatures wear no clothes.

The moment I continue on my way, in this town…or village. I notice that almost every single one of the ‘ponies’, gazed at me in a mix of surprise, curious and confused expressions.

Why is there a large percentage of them looking at me funny? Oh, it’s probably the clothes. Well, sorry if I’m too appropriate for your likings! Or it’s my gun sticking out of my saddle bag, one of the two.

Back on Earth, everybody simply passes without any greeting, as a result, I’m not accustomed to this much attention. A small amount of anxiety begins to wield up inside me.

The sooner I find a library, the better. That way I could hide away from these questionable glances.

—Another Perspective—

“You better not be thinking what I know what you're thinking, Lyra,” a cream coated mare firmly stated. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon have been roommates for over eight months, and Lyra’s ‘unique’ human obsession has been getting on her nerves. Now that there is a new fully clothed mare currently walking down the street, Lyra will probably imagine all sorts of human conspiracy theories.

“She’s definitely a human!” The green coated mare excitedly whispered.

Bon Bon facehoofed, “You said the exact same thing, two weeks ago about Ditzy!”

“To be fair, nopony is that horrible at flying! Humans have no natural born magic, hence they’d find it difficult to coordinate!” Lyra defended. “Humans tend to prefer to wear clothes as their society was more ‘formal’. It would make sense for a human to retain these cultural expectations even when changing species.”

“How would she of changed to a pony then? You just said that they wield no magic.”

“What they lack in magical ability, they make up for it in intelligence. The humans would have built a machine or something.”

The beige mare simply sighed, Lyra is simply too invested in her obsessions.

“I’m gonna go talk to her!” She enthralled, furthermore commenced a gallop towards the unofficial newcomer. Only to be pulled back by her tail.

“No,” she commanded.

“What? Whyyyyy?” Lyra complained.

“Your interests often take the forefront of your mind, and you tend to not think before acting.” Bon Bon informed, “Besides, I’ve met plenty of ponies who prefer to wear clothes outdoors all the time.”

“She does have a good point, however most, if not all, never wear pants. Only humans do.” Lyra thought. “Though Bonny is right, I can’t just charge in without thinking of a plan first.”

She hummed in thought.

“I’ll have to come up with some type of strategy, with the intention to gather information secretly.”

Lyra was able to struggle out of Bon Bon’s grasp.

“And I think I know exactly what to do.”


Why the fuck did someone think it was a good idea to construct a building from a hollowed out tree? Not only would that be expensive, but also exceedingly impractical.

Whatever, it wasn’t my decision.

After about five minutes of my arrival, I stop being the centre of attention between these townsfolk, which I’m extremely grateful for.

I strolled to the front door, raised my right hoof and gave it a good old knock. Seriously, every house I’ve ever been to had a doorbell.

The doorway opened to present a small naked purple lizard. God damn it!

“Ummm, c-can I help you?” he asked, all while gazing towards me. Is he shivering?

“Is this by any chance a public library?” I politely inquire, moreover staring directly at his oversized eyeballs, to signify I have his full attention.

“Y-yes,” the Lizard replied.

A small pause.

“Sooooooooo, can I borrow some books?”

He nods and moves to the side to allow me entry. I trot into the living space, to find it completely empty of the living.

Large bookshelves hollowed out from the walls occupies the surrounding area. A staircase leads to the next level is located near the back, and another hallway leading elsewhere located beside it.

Is it just me, or is it bigger on the inside than the outside? Like some real Tardis shit here? Although it’s still quite small for a library, it does make sense considering this is a rural town.

“Twilight! Somepony’s here!” he yelled to someone located elsewhere in the library.

Somepony? Isn’t that considered specist? There are several different sapient species on this planet, after all, a bit ironic if you think about it. Humans use ‘someone’, or ‘somebody’, yet we had only one sapient organism on Earth since our existence.

“Coming!” the unidentified female voice replied.

My AI wasn’t joking with the gender birth ratio, I swear every single pony I’ve met is feminine.

I’m greeted with an undressed purple unicorn mare, accompanied by a darker purple mane, and serval different coloured streaks through it. Trotting down a set of stairs I noticed before.

What is it with weird coloured hair and this species?

“Hi,” she addressed.

“Hello, I was wondering if I could borrow a couple of nonfiction novels,” I replied.

“Of course! Ponies are normally rather uninterested in books, so we don’t tend to get many visits,” she illuminated.

No wonder this species is one of the most backward.

“Is there any particular content your after?” she asked, with a wide smile.

“Ah, yes, I would like something on the modern military, one on the current political situation, as well as another on the latest innovations and inventions.” I professionally answered.

I’ll get a map from somewhere else.

“Absolutely!” Next thing I know is that she is shuffling through a large bookshelf, to the left of the door.

“I would suggest, ‘Guards: How we protect you’, ‘Princess Celestia's Guide to Diarchy’, and ‘Modern inventions and Magical Discoveries that could change the World!’” she enthralled.

How could she possibly remember all the books off the top of her head? She must have quite a bit of free time, along with Magical? Magic? Is that what they refer to dark energy as? How ironic!

“Umm, sounds good,” I uncertainly replied. I still hadn’t moved from my position when I entered the room. This lady is quick.

“By the way, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and my assistant,” she informed while pointing at the small lizard, “is Spike.”

Twilight Sparkle? What a strange name, I don’t think I’ve heard of anything like that before.

As she was gathering the books from the shelves, I was able to acknowledge her butt mark. A purple star with several smaller ones surround it, seems like it makes reference to a magic show.

“What about you?” Twilight inquired, as she dumped three thick books directly in front of me.

I adopted a strange look on my face. That question took me completely off guard, so I use my normal name? Or do I make up one as strange as her’s?

I gathered the books and placed them in my left saddle bag while I gave this some thought.

A figurative light bulb appeared over my head.

Or maybe, construct a name relevant to my butt mark.

“Atomic…Discharge,” A creepy smile appears across my lips. Yes, that will do. Although, I highly doubt that they'd know what atoms are.

Eh, too late now.

“….Okay, nice to meet you, Atomic,” she hesitantly replied, holding up her right foreleg towards me.

Ah, must be this planet’s version of a handshake.

I lightly gripped her hoof and firmly shook it several times.

Once we were finished with our ‘greeting’, she started to eye me a touch suspiciously.

This is most likely the first time she has examined my physique, her eyes shifted across my entire body, finally landing on the musket.

My hypothesis on clothing was correct, supported by the fact she seems to find it unnatural to wear so much clothing, judging by her current expression.

Twilight’s mouth begins open.

“Well! I better be going, see ya around town Twilight!” I called out as I galloped into a full sprint past the door.

That could have gone better.

I should definitely think of a cover story, my mind seems to consistently get off track. I need to properly concentrate on this if I’m going to be able to infiltrate into this society. Alright, I’m a traveller who travels around the world, discovering sec—Ooooooo, is that a GINGERBREAD HOUSE??!

I stared wide-eyed at the establishment. A cake sign hangs from the front, it must be a confectionary shop. This place sort of reminds me of Hansel and Gretel, there better not be a cannibalistic witch inside.

Wait a second, what was I thinking about again?

Eh, I’m sure it'll come back to me.

Currency would be an adequate idea, I could possibly blueprint it and get my atomic fabricator to replicate it, although that’s most likely illegal and I want to keep my crimes to a minimum. Well, what people will know of, at least.

Perhaps it's time to head off to a precious metal seller, in other words. Enquire information on the most precious substances and produce them with the atomic fabricator.

That’s if they have one of these places here.

I continued to trot through the streets of this unidentified town for more than half an hour. I observed the traffic on the roads and came to the conclusion that the amount of ponies out has been exponentially decreasing.

Is there an event or something?

Eventually, on one of the last streets, I come across a small shop, a sign hanging from the front with a painted diamond and gold coins.

Strolled into the establishment, which resulted in the bell above the door to jingle.

“Coming! I’ll be right with you in a second!” came a female brit accent from somewhere in the back.

A single glass counter occupies the shop, which seems to contain varied metals and gems.

At a leisurely pace, I walk to the counter in order to gain a better perspective.

At that moment, a crimson coat, and white-haired mare, with lavender eyes walks out from a doorway located behind the counter. Talk about opposites!

Her butt mark seems to be a large gem with a magnifying glass on top of it.

“May I help you?” she politely enquired, while eyeing me cautiously.

“Do you buy precious substances by any chance?” I asked.

“That’s what this shop is for,” she added with a huge grin.

I hummed in thought.

“I was wondering if I could be given some information regarding the value of some precious metals. As I have, “ wait, what’s my story again? That’s right, I’m a traveller, “collected all sorts along my journies, across the planet.”

“Well, what do you have?” she questioned.

Technically I can make any type of metal with my atomic fabricator, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“On me? Not much, at home I have all sorts, some recognisable, others not so much, some I know of is gold,” the unnamed mare snorted. “silver, lead, platinum, zinc—” Her eyes seemed to have widened to unimaginable proportions

“Hold on a second, back up a little. What did you just say?” she interrupted sceptically.


“No, no. Before then.”


She face hoofed, “No! Was I accurate in hearing ‘lead’?”

“Ummm, yeah?”

“Do you have ANY idea how valuable that is??!” she yelled in a mix of frustration and excitement.

Wow, these ponies are honest. If this was a human, they’d just pretend like it was worth nothing, practically ripping off the seller.

“That’s why I came here,” I remarked, rolling my eyes.

She just stared at me, mouth agape.

“Look, I’ve got some here if yo—“ I didn’t even get to finish my sentence.

“REALLY?!!” she enthusiastically asked.

*Sigh* “Just give me a sec…”

I rummaged in my left saddle bag, until I found one of my paper cartridges, pulled it out and bit the top of it off.

“Know where I could depose of the gu—preservation powder?”

She stared at me and shrugged. “Just dump it on the floor.”

I continued to carry out what she told me, and dumped the black content on the ground, leaving me with a small lead ball.

I placed it on the table in front of her and waited.

She simply stared and held her breath, not twitching a single muscle. I would have thought she was a statue if it wasn’t for the fact she talked before.

After some time, she spoke.

“I’ve only ever seen this metal a couple times in my life, each moment in a museum.” She then slowly brought her head up, staring directly into my eyes, searching for any sign of dishonesty. “And you're just willing to just give this away?”

“Yep,” I replied short, and straight to the point. “How much?”

“I couldn’t afford this even if I sold my whole shop! I don’t have the bits to purchase this!”

“Then just offer what’s fair to yourself,”

She continued to just stare at me, minutes of silence followed.

“I can’t….”

I’m seriously getting enough shit of this women, you're going to die eventually! Probably sooner than you think, so just hurry the fuck up!

Searching for an answer, my eyes fall upon one of the values for platinum in the glass case. Ƀ700 per ounce? Seems close enough to C700.

“Tell you what, I’ll give it to you for 800,” I stated, "Oh, and a map of the continent."

It’s cute when you see a pony flabbergasted, she furthermore, was not able to form any words as she was doing a perfect goldfish impersonation.

I wonder how adorable they can be when they have multiple bullet wounds.

I walked out of the shop satisfied, coins jingled in my saddlebags, and a map detailing the whole planet.

My sweet tooth is calling me, it’s commanding me to put my new money to use.

This got myself moving faster, all I’ve had are those disgusting nutrient blocks. I could really do with some sugar, and then, I’ll start planning my EVIL MASTERMIND SCHEME! MAHAHAHAHAH.

Note to self, never attempt an evil laugh.

Now, where’s that gingerbread house?

Hmmm, not entirely sure.

I picked a random direction, again trotting at a brisk pace with a destination in mind.


An unidentifiable amount of time passed….

Have I seen that fence post before? I swear I have…

This is exactly what happens in the video games when you don’t look for something, you find it with no problem whatsoever, on the other hand, however, if you specify searching for something. God decides to shit all over you.

All I want is cake! It’s not like it’s total world domination!

Wait, I already own this planet. Never mind, disregard that statement.

I slow down to a walk, and, where is everybody? 80% of the traffic seems to have mysteriously disappeared. Unless they’re in bed? I doubt it.

At that moment I come across my destination.

YES! Finally! God, I will never doubt you ever again.

With a clip-clop, I climbed up the stairs and opened the door. Only to find the room completely shrouded in darkness.

“What the fuck? Why’s it so dark?” I murmured to myself, narrowing my eyes, “Eh, must be closed.”

Just as I was about to leave…


“HOLY FUCK!” I screeched, stumbling out of the front door and landing on my back.

I’ve played plenty of horror games, but none of them has prepared me for something so horrific like this.

My vision filled with pink, holding the characteristics of a grinning idiot.

Wait, haven’t I seen this pony before?

“Hey! My name’s Pinkie Pie! And I created a party just for you! Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Huh huh huh?”

I just made a ‘seriously’ expression.

*Giggle* “I’ll take that as a yes! Wow, I was like ‘oh no! You not gonna come’ but my pinkie senses were like kick buzz woosh and I just KNEW you would come here. I was so excited as we haven’t had a new pony in Ponyville for like months. Y'see I've never seen you before and that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony. You looked like you didn’t have any friends so I was like ‘nooooooooo!’ so I knew I had to make you a massive party and invite everypony from ponyville so you can make friends and have lots of fun!” she excitedly exclaimed.

Is this some fairy tale with a cheesy hidden message?

“Ummm, okay?” more so questioning myself for what I just experienced.

“Come on! Join the party and meet my friends!” she hurriedly blurted out, dashing back into the store.

“All I wanted was cake…” I mumbled, turning to lay on my stomach furthermore using my forehooves to push myself off the ground. “God, you fucking dick.”

Author's Note:

I know there hasn't been much action, however, after the next chapter, that's when the story really takes off.

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