• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
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Forget not that I am a derp.


Celestia sends Twilight her last, greatest assignment. The lost masterpiece of Star Swirl the Bearded!

The spell that the greatest mage of all time couldn't figure out.

The spell given to her by the mare who thought releasing Discord was a good idea.

The spell that, upon closer inspection, seems about as stable as Rarity's emotional state and as safe as Rainbow Dash's usual workout.

... Maybe Twilight should double check with the princess first.

Winner of the Rage Reviews F*CK THIS PROMPT 6 contest. Prompt: "Equestria is getting a new Alicorn Princess."

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 294 )


I would actually like more, but this is hilarious.

eh, parts I like, parts I don't

:rainbowderp: ...dang.

Alright, that was hilarious. Kudos.

(Yay Discworld references)

and while the cloud did thunder sometimes, it was for much different reasons.

It would seem that Rainbow enjoys her garbanzo beans then.

Lighthearted fun at its finest. Thank you—this brought me a fair few smiles on a day that needed them.

This is awesomely hilarious! Especially the very last letter. ... I do want to see the response to Luna's letter though, but I can't have everything...

But, the fact that downloading this keeps the letters, even though normal Author's Notes aren't kept, is very nice, even though you have nearly nothing to do with that, FOME...

Naismith's First Rule: Preliminary Status Reports are a bad thing. Only send a Final Status Report after all the shooting is over, the allies have been bailed out of jail (or escaped), and the diplomatic reprecussions have been squelched. This allows all of the alibis to be coordinated, in order to avoid unpleasant questions.

Small typo:

"Or the end of you shift, whichever comes first."

All the little things make this so great! Lily's existentialism, Spike's pacing, outside the library! :pinkiehappy:


How is "Why" a typo?

"...resulting in the explosive release that the filly will be able to clean off of her floor as soon as we're done with it."

Now you've done it. I need to write a fic where the Equestrian Protection Agency moves into the Golden Oak library after the alicorn ascention and blocks it off, preventing Twilight Sparkle from going home.
Agent: "I'm sorry, Princess Twilight Sparkle. This is a known contamination zone. I'm afraid I can't let you inside."
Twilight: But all of my stuff is in there. All of my books are in there! I have ongoing experiments!
Agent: Confiscated and currently undergoing deconamination.

Discworld References!

Other Fanfic References! (Sunny Skies-es)

Governmental Changes!

Quirky Newspaper Epiphets!

I like this. So much! :pinkiehappy:

...Looking at it again, it turns out I read the sentence wrong. I'm in the wrong here! Thanks for pointing that out. :twilightblush:

Nice. The epistolary form suits the story really well.

"Spykoranuvellitar "Spike" Keyfahdon"

Is that a reference I'm not getting? I've seen a name like that before but I honestly might just be remembering that exact name from one of your other stories.

Also, that gear shift from the second-last letter to the last one made me burst out laughing. Nicely done.

I liked this. It was simple, but you took it places I didn't expect.

Although, I really don't see what that last part of the third chapter adds to the story, really.

Alas, We cannot say with certainty what She has in store for you with this final dwœmercraft of the Bearded One.

Was she listening to Orchestral Manœuvres in the Dark while writing that?

Wait, Lily's therapist recommended existentialism for her? That explains a lot.

Bad Celly! Bad!

Go to your room!

Councilmare Luna dammit !!!!! I can´t give more upvotes to this !!!!!! Why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyy !?!?

6508699 Sunny Skies is a very common Celestia alternate identity in various works here...it´s a pegasus, if I remember coorectly, that she uses to merge with the common pony when the stress is too high and she need a break, or to reconnect with her fellow ponies.

6508759 Aaah, that explains a lot. Thank you for clarifying!

Excellent. But . . . .Celestia being stripped of power? That seems a bit harsh. A long leave of absence, perhaps.

She is going to enjoy being a teacher far too much, although thanks to Kimono's Townhouse, I will forever think of her as being in tech support.

Really enjoyed this. The Discworld influences were fun, too!

There actually aren't any author's notes in this, just heavy use of the quote tag.

As for the response to Luna's letter, it was part of the ongoing correspondence I like to think Twilight and Luna have, and wasn't especially germane to the story.

In this case, the status report was sent to prove a point. That said, canon Twilight had clearly learned this lesson by the time of the Yakyakistan summit.

I believe Spykoranuvellitar is a G3 reference, being part of that Spike's full name. Not 100% certain on that one. Meanwhile, "Keyfahdon" is my preferred surname for Spike. In the Elder Scrolls dragon language, it translates to "Horse Friend." It felt appropriate.

No, I'm just fond of the letter œ and this seemed like a good excuse to use it. :derpytongue2:

Good catch on that false modesty crap Twilight is rocking. How can due obeisance be paid if she doesn't call attention to how big a shot she is? Any random imbecile could take liberties with her because of her refusal to advertise herself effectively.

Yipes. This is getting weirder. Discord is making the most sense.

Okay, this is gone nuts. The only thing that would make it nuttier is to have Best Pony insert herself into the situation.

It is tempting to think of the Mane Six trying to go about their lives normally in spite of their new appendages and the baggage that comes with them. And the changes to everything from Equestria Girls on. Hmm...
I'm not making any promises, but I may revisit this.

Would you care to go into further detail about each?

Glad to be of service. :twilightsmile:

To say nothing of the Equestrian Geographic Society trying to capture everything for posterity, along with the freelance "archeologists."

Twilight: A. K. Yearling? Oh my goodness, what are you doing here?
A. K. Yearling: Oh, you know, looking for inspiration. I mean, friendship explosions? Right up Daring's alley. Does this look like an ancient artifact to you?
Twilight: I bought that waffle iron last week.
Totally not Daring Do: Well, recent artifact.
Twilight: It's still a waffle iron.
Ignore the pith helmet: Yes, but it was bathed in transcendent alicorn energies. Ahuizotl might be able to use it too, uh...
Twilight: Make evil waffles?
Daring Do: Exactly!

She's still on the council. This is more of an enforced vacation than anything, though Diamond Tiara will be trying her hardest to make it less of one.

I considered it, but I figured that would be overkill.

This was amazing.
Would definitely love to see you expand on this.

6508859 Princess Twilight Sparkle (PTS): Spike! Just why are you selling 'Genuine Golden Oak Library Leaves' for ten bits a piece?
Spike: Hey, the tourists are snapping them up.
PTS: It's a magically contaminated zone, Spike! They could have unknown toxins or thaumatological radiation emitting from them! Ponies could be affected!
Spike: Chill out, Twilight. The EPA won't let me take leaves from the library, so I'm using the oak tree by Caramel's house. Do you really think ponies could be affected by thaumatol... magical radiation from the leaves?
PTS: Yes! Well, actually probably not. But the EPA says so, even though my scans haven't turned up anything yet.
Spike: Could they turn ordinary ponies into alicorns? Theoretically, of course.
PTS: Well... I suppose there could be a microscopic chance... What are you writing, Spike?

Genuine Golden Oak Library Leaves - 50bits ea.
Now with the possiblility of turning you into an alicorn, as verified by Princess Twilight Sparkle

(no refunds)


Wait, why'd LUNA become High Princess? Everyone agrees Twilight's smarter and more sensible. And not woefully outdated and obsolete.

Spike's G3 name is actually "Master Kenbroath Gilspotten Heathspike."

This was absolutely brilliant. I loved how Celestia got her comeuppance for her harebrained scheme after it went awry. Nosy old busybody's had it coming for a while. :rainbowlaugh:

One of your best. Great work.

Most experience running a nation, even if a lot of it is out of date. Besides, she's not doing it alone. There's a whole bureaucracy beneath her that's at least theoretically full of ponies who know what they're doing, and Celestia's still the next town over if needed.

Ah. Well. I'm clearly wrong then. :derpytongue2:

What, they didn't include Pinkie's middle name?

Spykoranuvellitar "Spike" Keyfahdon

...I want this to show up on the show :rainbowlaugh:

Luna smirked at her sister. "Scant minutes on the throne and she's already more sensible than you. No wonder you wanted her to ascend."


I think my favorite part of this chapter is the Ponyville Express tagline. Which isn't to say that the rest of it was bad, but come on! That tagline is friggin' hilarious!

6508859 I would dearly love to see more of this. It was just the pick me up I needed. I just found out my good friends lost their 3 year old son this morning and I really needed something to keep me from getting depressed. Yes I was a bit close to the kid and had hopes of becoming much closer as he got older. Thank you very much for something this light hearted at a time I needed it.

Scant minutes on the throne and she's already more sensible than you. No wonder you wanted her to ascend.

Celestia: But I just wanted a vacation!

Pretty disappointed that it just became another "Celestia's so stupid" fic. I dislike them, I think they're way overdone and disagree with a lot of their interpretations. However the first two chapters were funny enough that you get a like.

Dear God, how long did it take you to come up with the honorifics?

I'm surprised Twilight decided to cast the spell anyway.

Eeeee this was amazing.

Normally I'd write at least a couple paragraphs on why I liked it so much, but right now I'm really tired, and anyway I can probably just sum it up as "everything".

Also, I've been meaning to get myself a Top Favourites bookshelf for a while, and now seems like a really good time to do so...

Are we going to see more of Teacher Sunny Days?

I enjoyed this unconditionally.

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