• Member Since 8th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 3rd, 2022

Hoopy McGee

Hoopy's just this guy, you know?


Twilight Sparkle and Rarity meet up at a cafe for tea. Everything seems to be going well, until Rarity asks a rather alarming question.

Inspired by, though not very similar to, GaPJaxie's Would it matter if I was?

Reading by Illya Leonov, Scribbler and Keyframe

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 233 )

This is an excellent hypothetical changeling story, I can hypothetically think of so many hypothetical uses for such a hypothetical thing. I could send it to check on hypothetical drilling platforms, I could send it down the hypothetical shops, and I could send it to help my hypothetical sister move into her hypothetical flat so I don't get hypothetical back strain. But this is all conjecture. :pinkiehappy:

Translation: The clothes horse has been keeping me captive for weeks. Help me!

Seriously, why else would Rarity broach the subject?

In any case, quite amusing.

I legitimately lol'd at the end of that. Well played, good sir. Well played.

“So, how do you feed it love? Have it change into a copy of yourself and then stare at it adoringly?”

Wow. That was just... damn, Twilight!

Yup, it's a Rarity story.

Don't forget that it's also a Rari-tea story.

Sorry about that.

A good little one-shot. I enjoyed reading it.

If fan fiction has taught me anything, it's that Rarity is incapable of carrying on a conversation without using the word "Darling" at least five words.

I love it.

Thank you for that.

Have to admit I didn't have great hopes on seeing the title (read: current band-wagon), but this was a really cute little Rarity focused story.

I'm glad I decided to actually give it a chance. ::raritystarry:

The word has now lost all meaning... Thanks, semantic satiation! :rainbowlaugh:

I almost feel a sequel coming on:
Are you a changeling that's been kidnapped and had your natural shape-shifting abilities exploited in order to be sent to boring meetings, all so that the pony you're impersonating can go off and have a good time? Call the Changeling Rescue Squad!

Thanks :pinkiesmile:


Wow. That was just... damn, Twilight!

Snarky Twilight is best Twilight :twilightsheepish:

Don't forget that it's also a Rari-tea story.

That's quite the pun, darling :duck:


One of these days, I'm going to go through each episode and tally the number of "darlings" in it. For science! :twilightsmile:

Honestly, though, I do a "darling" and "dear" check whenever I write Rarity dialogue. It gets out of hand, sometimes.

...Meeting Pinkie along the way, Twilight and possibly-Rarity returned to the Carousel boutique.
Inside, they met probably-Rarity, while Pinkie looked from one to the other and shouted, "This is-"
Twilight interrupted, "Just like the time you used the Mirror Pool, right Pinkie?"
Pinkie took on a very serious look. "There never was a Mirror Pool, Twilight." :twilightoops:
:pinkiehappy: :raritywink:

I would make one of these, but it would be too short for moderation. This is it:

Two griffins are cleaning their tools. Suddenly, one of the griffin's (we'll call him Griffin A) heads jerked up.
"Hey dude," he said to the other Griffin (Griffin B).
Griffin B doesn't look up. "What?"
"Would it matter if I was a changeling?"
Griffin B stopped cleaning his tools, and stared into the sky for a minute. Eventually, he turned to Griffin A, a confused look on his face.
"Da fuck's a changeling?"
Griffin A opens his beak to respond, but pauses, also pondering. "No idea."
So, philosophical debate over, the griffins continue cleaning their tools.

This deserves a sequel.

You know im usually ok with letting Comedy be one shots an stuff but this actually pekes my entrust. I genuinely would like to see a sequel to this.

Rarity: Besides, have you seen how long a changeling's tongue is?
Twilight: No! And I don't want to know!
Rarity: Very well, Twilight.
(tea is sipped)
Twilight: Hypothetically, what would it matter?
Rarity: Would you like to find out?

6546426 I'm in a voice chatroom with Doccular42 and they basically had an orgasm reading this comment. Just thought you should know.

6546642 Hey, I only orgasm when necessary, thank you very much.

6546647 You only orgasm when I say you can.

Rarity: Did you know Changelings can't eat very much normal food, darling?
Twilight: No I didn't know. Why is that important?
Rarity: Can you believe how many tips I've gotten from it on how to only nibble a few bites of Sweetie Belle's cooking and not a crumb more?!

... Add it to the group?

Twilight gonna have to call in an intervention squad. A team of experts to rescue the shapeshifter from the spiders silk.

I do wonder why the shape shifter doesn't just up and leave. Wonder if it actually enjoys acting and trying out different hair styles and clothing.

I'd suggest that someone should save that changeling from Rarity - but it seems to be doing alright for itself.

A lot of fics touch on the idea of changelings solving their feeding problem by making themselves useful to pony society in various ways. We need an omnibus fic where a variety of changeling factions try every such plan at once. A new brothel on every block, changeling panhandlers with 'Free Hugs' signs, posters for that new movie starring changelings taking on more and more physically bizarre roles. Maybe write it from the point of view of the new government established to regulate and oversee changeling commercial activities, make it a slice-of-life/comedy series of vignettes about the latest, dumbest plan by changelings to get love without getting beat up by the guards.

MANY other uses. Tagged: Mature. Sex, Romance, Random. Yes, please.

6546243 MANY OTHER USES. Yes.

6546250 Stone cold Twilight. All of the remaining yes.

This is the only "Would it matter" story that I've put in my favorites, and I honestly couldn't tell you why.

Darling. :raritywink:

I'm curious to the author about what broached such a philosophical discussion, aside from the inspiration. I'm also in ways, tentative to write my own story. Although the ways in which the function of a changeling's role, in order to prove he/she/their/zer moral standing, is highly discriminatory and detracting from the discussion at large. That isn't to say actions don't have consequence in perception, but it's very capitalistic and racially discriminatory, quite similar to how Muslims and Blacks are currently treated in America - Changelings are presumed guilty where other races would be presumed innocent, until proven otherwise.

Also, is it funny to me how we've assumed the "hive" is literally how it works, instead of a red herring meant to inspire fear of a perfectly coordinated, unified force? Chrysalis referred to the other changelings as her subjects, not her children, in the Two Parter. I haven't seen that up for debate though, since the "hive" thing is so popular, an issue of free will isn't given much focus - unless the story centers on assimilation, and its a conflict than an issue of changeling characters innately possessing an identity without being somehow, different or flawed.

that was...rather brilliant actually. great ending too.

Twilight: So you may have a changeling in the basement and Fluttershy might be a changeling? What next Rainbow Dash may be married to a changeling? Pinkie Pie the daughter of a changeling?
Rarity: Actually...
Twilight: Ugh

The hypothetical world this happened the day after Fluttershy popped her question. Wait now it sounds like they are getting married. Hmmmmm. Would it hypothetically matter if I loved you Twilight? Next one anyone?

“Honestly, why would you even think such a thing?”

“You implied it!”

“I most certainly did not!” Rarity countered. “You assumed it!”

Bronies in a nutshell. :raritywink:

Hello! I've been doing some sorting within the group Would it Matter if I Made This Group?, and decided to remove it from the folders: Expansions and Reinterpretations, and Parodies. If you disagree with this change, feel free to send me a reply. Wow this got three dislikes. It's still in the group ppl :twilightoops: I just deemed it didn't fit in those two folders...

This is a very nice story. It's been added to The Devious Writer's Picks within the group: "Would it Matter if I Made This Group?".

Damn it! I told my self I wasn't gonna read any more of these changeling what ifs! Then I seened that it were from Hoopy. I think maybe I was trying to get a contact Erin-high. I NEED MY FIX MAN!!!! I NEED MY FIX!!!!

Omg, that ending.

To be fair, do you know how many freakin bedroom eyes are given in a single episode?

Season 3 Episode 3, "Too Many Pinkie Pies."
(Supposing they were all Changelings)
Just for fun.

6547427 Gonna have to agree with the hater. Gaj is good at writing a gordium knot of ethical conundrums that falls apart the moment you refuse to accept the premise. For some reason that makes him compelling or deep, rather than just pretentious.

But this? You can do better, Hoopy. You do better on a semiregular basis. Divorced from Gaj's original work, this has no merit as a story. Too many questions left unadressed, let alone answered. The situation is contrived and nothing really happens. The story has no reason to exist except because bandwagon. And it's a terrible bandwagon.

Front page? I envy you.

This. This was brilliant, and I really needed something lighthearted to read before bed, so thank you. Thank you for that. I needed it.

6546642 I guess so, since he is now following me. That makes one famous and one sorta-famous user who is following me, the more famous being Jay-the-Brony.

Better than the original.

Sick of these stories but I will admit this was clever

6547682 I wonder if I can inundate you with horsefame.

And so, Twilight blasted 'Rarity'... then blew up Carousel Boutique just to be safe!


The moral: This is why you don't pretend that you're harboring ISIS members in your attic.

6547704 I'd rather work to get the fame, thanks anyways.

Was ready to thumb down this fic on the front page out of reflex, then saw your blog update.
Sexually repressed-and-obsessed Twilight?
Thumb up.

6547776 Nonsense. Someday I'm going to dump a bunch of horsefame on you randomly and spontaneously and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it. :trollestia:

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