The Canterlot Herald
The apex of journalism
SPECIAL EDITIONCELESTIA SCANDAL: SIX SURPRISE SOVEREIGNS!
Drastic Governmental Shift
Celestia Sacked. Luna Crowned High Princess.
by TRENDING TOPICCANTERLOT—Last night, then-Princess Celestia managed to both triple the known alicorn population and upend Equestrian governance as we know it in one fell swoop.
Earlier that day in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's personal student, cast the incomplete masterpiece of the archmage Star Swirl the Bearded at the former ruler's direction. The resulting magical cascade is still being analyzed, but researchers say that the preliminary results are astonishing.
"The spell resonated through the Elements of Harmony," said Riddle Cruller, Archchancellor of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. "The Bearers shared one another's memories, resulting in a level of rapport beyond even the most powerful psychomantic techniques. [Professor Stubborn] Ponder says this combined their magic exponentially, resulting in the explosive release that the filly will be able to clean off of her floor as soon as we're done with it."
More pressing in most minds were the political ramifications. With parts of the government still adjusting to the return of High Princess Luna, the incorporation of six new princesses, Jacqueline Apple, Rarity Belle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena Pie, Fluttershy Poseysfilly, and Twilight Sparkle, would've been wholly infeasible. Miss Sparkle ushered the other princesses into a secure room of Castle Canterlot in what is now recognized as the first meeting of the Council of Alicorns, with Empress Mi Amore Cadenza participating in the final vote via dragonfire post.
Twilight Sparkle announced the formation of the council at 2:00 AM today. The title of Equestrian Princess would no longer be recognized. Luna was elected and crowned high princess, with the other eight serving as councilmares. Furthermore, Councilmare Celestia was officially sanctioned for her reckless actions. Councilmare Sparkle would not comment on the nature of these sanctions, only that "They fit the nature of the misdemeanor and the best way to address it." Councilmare Sparkle confirmed that Councilmare Celestia will continue her duty of raising and lowering the sun.
Only time will tell how this drastic change will impact our nation.
Trending Topic, like this typesetter, is very tired and going to bed now.
The Ponyville Express
All the news that wasn't eatenNew Teacher at Ponyville Elementary
by NAMBY PAMBYPONYVILLE—A new teaching assistant, Miss Sunny Skies, has been hired at Ponyville Elementary, leading to a mixed reaction throughout the town.
"Don't get me wrong," said Cheerilee Punch, until now the sole teacher at the school, "my job has always been a joy. But it's gotten rather more eventful lately, and I could certainly use the help."
Some of the students are less pleased. "I can play Miss Cheerilee like a fiddle," said one student who wished to remain anonymous, "but some newcomer? It's going to take a long time to get her where I want her, and until then, she's going to think she's in charge."
When asked about her fellow Canterlotter, Councilmare Twilight Sparkle said, "I've known Sunny for a long time. She'll definitely be able to do a lot of good here in Ponyville, as long as Cheerilee keeps a close eye on her. She can get a little extreme without some supervision and stress relief."
Miss Skies herself seemed very optimistic. "I look forward to giving the young minds of Ponyville exactly what they need to flourish."
Namby Pamby is the Ponyville Express's cub reporter and education columnist.
Dearest "Sunny,"
Firstly, my sympathies for the disgraceful slander the news-papers are bandying about as objective analysis. As I have told you since my return, this "free press" of yours carries a cost that mounts higher with every passing day.
Aside from those scurrilous scandalmongers, your idea seems to be working well, even as Canterlot recovers from its shock over the new alicorns and sudden shift of power. That being said, expect many more letters in the near future. You have made a city of schemers upon the Canterhorn, and my millennial absence, the Bearers' inexperience, and Cadence's duties in the Crystal Empire will leave us ill-suited against them without your counsel. The messaging spell and my receiving frequency remain as you remember them. If further security is needed, send the details through young Spike.
Beyond that, enjoy your vacation. You have more than earned it. Indeed, were I not privy to your earlier intentions and had I missed your slack-jawed astonishment, I would have thought this to be your goal all along.
With love,
Luna