Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCXXXIII · 8:13pm Jun 1st, 2023
So lately I’ve been considering doing some part-time editing, just for the sake of having some extra money flowing in. Problem is, I’m not sure how I should go about it. I could go on some trade sharing website as a freelancer. I could join some small business that matches editors with clients. Heck, I could just edit for fanfiction. I’m kind of at a loss in this regard, and not even sure if I want to do it for real or not.
If anyone would like to share some stories/experiences and/or advice, I would welcome it.
In other news, I had a minor epiphany yesterday. See, I’ve been playing this indie game called Ciel Fledge: A Daughter Raising Simulator. It’s exactly what it says on the box, except set some 300 years in the future. One of the things that goes on in the game is that your kid can make friends. One character who I’m rather fond of is Helen, a guitarist from a wealthy family whose parents want her to stick to the family business (exactly what that business is has never been specified). When you first meet her at… I dunno, your daughter is ten, so she’d be twelve perhaps? Anyway, at that time she’s meek and mild and has trouble voicing her opinions or performing for a crowd. By now my daughter is eighteen and Helen’s in a popular heavy metal band, complete with leather jacket.
I always liked Helen. She always struck me as one of the most… ‘put together’ characters, for lack of a better phrase. She’s also demonstrated some great talent in other fields, such as when she helped my daughter get started in a financial advisor job. (Yes, my 18-year-old is advising rich people on how to spend their money. That’s Ciel Fledge for you.)
But yesterday I noticed something. Dark hair… Mulberry eyes… Specializes in instrumentation… Comes from prim and proper upbringing…
Dear Luna, she’s Octavia. And now I’m sitting here wondering if the similarities are intentional or not. But nah, couldn’t be. I mean, if Octavia’s around then Vinyl has to be too, and there’s nobody in the game who resembles…
…
Red eyes… Wild hair… Famous musician from the start… Only interaction with other people is Helen…
Oh. The character Ivory is Vinyl Scratch, aren't they?
Maybe it’s just in my head. There are certainly enough differences for it to just be a coincidence. Or maybe the creators of this game were fans of certain musically inclined horses.
I dunno, I just can’t get the idea out of my head now. Figured it was worth bringing up. Why don’t we get to the reviews while I keep pondering this?
Stories for This Week:
"In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever done anything smart?” by PennyDreadful
Criminal Behavior by Tethered-Angel
Minor Relapse by Soufriere
Rising Fire by Chengar Qordath
The Princess of Taxes by KorenCZ11
I'm With You by The Red Parade
Applejack's Tax Relief Plan by Seether00
In Everything But Name by Monochromatic
Man Cannot Live On Tea Alone by PropMaster
Just Dodge! by DannyJ
Total Word Count: 138,934
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 4
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
Everyone figured it was fine to let Chrysalis go after her latest scheme failed. Everyone, that is, except Twilight. She’s not going to leave the changeling queen to her own devices just so that she can come back in a few seasons to cause trouble again! What she doesn’t expect, however, is for Chrysalis to need something other than a violent confrontation.
PennyDreadful: “This is not a fix-fic.”
Also Pennydreadful: “Let’s redefine everything that Chrysalis has ever done and completely rewrite To Where and Back Again to something hopefully smarter than what Hasbro did.”
Right. Not a fix-fic. Got it. Sure. Whatever you say, author.
So apparently PennyDreadful wrote this to reflect how they would have handled the finale of Season Six. This involves changing the setting of the changeling hive from a barren wasteland to a fetid swamp, keeping the Mane Six as the protagonists and heroes of the adventure, and, uh… completely rewriting Chrysalis’s character from scratch. Most of this I don’t have a problem with. Heck, it actually sounds like a good idea on the whole, and something I wouldn’t be opposed to reading.
There are a handful of issues that prevent it from soaring. The first is that the author opens on Chrysalis’s reformation, with Twilight pursuing and having a conversation with her. This wouldn’t have been a bad thing had most of the episode been kept as-canon, but that’s not what happened. PennyDreadful went and changed everything that happened in the episodes, and during Twilight’s chase and conversation with Chrysalis she constantly alludes to these changes.
The result of this is jarring confusion. You, as the reader, have no idea what Twilight is referring to, but PennyDreadful writes the moments as though you should. What do you mean Flurry Heart was kidnapped? Why are we in a swamp instead of a wasteland? Why is none of this making any sense?
And then, after Chrysalis’s story is revealed, PennyDreadful finally bothers to describe to us the events that are so different from the episodes. A lot late there, author. I get the desire to try and mix things up, but this was the opposite of effective. People are going to go into this story assuming that everything is the same as what they already know. If it isn’t, you need to clarify that first, not three-fourths of the way through.
The second issue is Chrysalis herself. I get wanting to reform her. Heck, I’ve had my own ideas for how to do it and only a lack of time prevented that version from ever coming to light. But what we’re seeing here is not a ‘reformation’. Rather, it’s a complete revision of her character from scratch. It doesn’t match anything we all know (and let’s face it, love) of Chrysalis, and that alone is a big problem. You can’t recreate a beloved character’s entire existence like that and expect it to go smoothly, and no, I don’t think the whole “she was acting the role the entire time” excuse is convincing.
A far better track would have been to keep Chrysalis as Chrysalis. This is by no means contradictory to what’s trying to be done here. Our direct interaction with Chrysalis is very limited; just because she’s been the evil bug queen all that time doesn’t make it uncharacteristic of her to have an emotional, vulnerable side. Keeping her in-character and still getting her to face reformation would have made for a vastly more dramatic and effective plot. But instead we get, uh, California girl self-critical Chrysalis who has been using “evil queen” as a mask all along? Just why?
Then there is, of course, the moment that tells us all that this is not a story to take even remotely seriously: Celestia declaring Twilight has a spy chip implanted in her brain that allows Celestia to see and hear everything she does. Really. After all these thousands of words writing something that is clearly trying to be serious, PennyDreadful puts that in there. Author, if you meant for this to be a joke-fic, why did you wait until practically the end to put something so utterly vapid in there?
As much as I like the idea behind this one, the execution is just sloppy. Maybe the next one, PennyDreadful.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Criminal Behavior
5,616 Words
By Tethered-Angel
Sunset Shimmer is woken up in the wee hours of the morning by Aria throwing pool balls through her apartment window. The siren wants to go on a crime spree with Sunset as her accomplice. At first Sunset is prepared to do the reasonable, responsible thing and say no. But then Aria decides to pull a bit of blackmail involving one “Flanksy”. Looks like Sunset’s being a criminal tonight.
What follows is a lot of petty crime. Some of it is harmless, like painting graffiti on a train car. Some of it is cruel, like ruining a poor convenience store clerk’s night. All of it is petty. Amidst all this pointless misbehavior is Aria trying in her own way to send a message she couldn’t possibly bring herself to speak of directly.
For those of you wondering, no, it’s not a romantic one.
I have mixed feelings. I didn’t care about the graffiti, but Aria’s actions at the convenience store was certainly too far. On the other hand, I like how the story is all about avoiding “stupid questions” with uncomfortable answers and the gradual unraveling of Aria’s situation. One must hope Sunset can prove to be a good influence on her. Regardless of how I feel about the individual elements, I have to acknowledge that Tethered-Angel wrote it well.
An interesting piece at the very least. Give it a go if you’re okay with watching a jerk go on a crime spree whilst dragging along a former jerk who is only partially onboard with it.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Minor Relapse
1,850 Words
By Soufriere
Sequel to Rarity Reveals...
Sunset Shimmer skipped school today. Rarity, well aware of Sunset’s tendencies, decides to visit and ensure her friend is alright. The answer: Yes and no. It’s complicated.
Set in a slight AU where Sunset Shimmer suffers from clinical depression, here we have Rarity visit her thinking that something has triggered it. Sunset, patient despite her dourness, promptly explains that sometimes there are no triggers. Sometimes depressed people are just depressed.
Soufriere is definitely getting better at these consecutive one-shots, but I feel like a lot of my appreciation for this story comes from exposure bias due to my mother, who also has clinical depression. As a direct result, I’m not sure if my opinion of this story in particular can be trusted. For example, the vast majority of this story is dialogue with minimal narrative assistance. Normally I’d see that as a potential negative, but this time it didn’t bother me at all. Is that because Soufriere did a great job channeling Sunset’s depression via said dialogue, or is it because I was able to readily recreate the proper intonation in my head due to experience? I’m not sure, and that makes me not trust myself.
Regardless, I do feel Soufriere has gotten a lot better at these. There’s a definite feeling of plot progression and purpose. That’s been clearly visible in the last few entries in this series, which tells me it’s not just in my head with this one. It’s also a huge improvement from the earliest entries, which felt just… sort of… there. That Soufriere is improving their craft is enough on its own to make me appreciate these things.
An interesting and perhaps educational piece. I liked it a lot, although I must emphasize that my experience may be vastly different from someone else’s.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Highs and Lows — Pretty Good
Rarity Visits Sunset Shimmer at 4 a.m. — Pretty Good
Reconciliations — Pretty Good
A Midsummer Day's Quest — Worth It
Rarity Reveals... — Worth It
Rising Fire
85,526 Words
By Chengar Qordath
Sequel to Freeport Venture: Come And See
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer once fought through time. They had no idea the consequences of their actions. Now Sunset Shimmer, recreated as the lich Rising Fire, has traversed time herself, arriving with her two hench-ponies, Rainbow Dash the revenant and Rarity the vampire. They and their legion of undead have come to avenge a world destroyed, and they’re not going to stop until they get it.
Come And See was a mystifying story in which it’s revealed that the Freeport Venture series is set in the same continuity as the Sombra War timeline. It then summarily executes literally every character we’ve come to know and love in the Freeport Venture series in exchange for a promised armageddon-style conflict between undead Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle.
And here we have that battle at last. Rising Fire and her minions are pretty gung ho about not hurting anypony other than Twilight and Starlight. Regardless, we get to watch as the over-confident and toxically self-righteous undead refuse to so much as consider the words of Twilight and Starlight, who in turn are unable to make a sound argument because they have no idea the context of the accusations laid against them.
At least, that’s what Chengar Qordath wants us to think. Frankly, I’m not buying that last bit. I mean, the seminal encounter between Starlight and Twilight, the very thing that initiated their entire relationship, was them creating alternate timelines. So when a trio of undead show up demanding justice for them destroying an alternate timeline, how in the name of Celestia, Luna, and Discord do they not immediately think about their inter-temporal battle across multiple worlds? This is the ultimate idiot ball, dropped all for the sake of making the fight happen. Which is dumb to me because Chengar Qordath didn’t need to drop it to make the fight happen in the first place.
But if you’re willing to put that aside, you’ll find an exciting and ever-desperate conflict as Twilight & co. struggle to save themselves and Ponyville from a legion of undead determined to do whatever it takes to kill them. The fighting is intense, with each battle more extreme and challenging than the last. Which, honestly, was probably the primary point of this story in the first place.
There are some odd things going on, however. There’s a lot of stuff that has apparently happened here that is not related to canon. Twilight has her own royal guard, she’s in a relationship, Sunset Shimmer is still Grand Magus of Freeport, and there is constant talk of past events we are not privy to in any way but which are spoken about as if we are meant to know all about it.
And I think I know why. You see, there are a whole lot of Freeport Venture stories. Really, a lot. And Chengar Qordath expects you to have read all of it prior to being here. The problem is the sequel order. As we all should know by now, FIMFiction has a system that lets you tag stories as sequels to other stories. Even if you don’t use that system, there’s nothing to stop you from doing it manually in a way that perfectly matches the look FIMFiction automatically creates.
The problem: Several of the primary Freeport Venture stories are not listed as proper sequels. So if you’re like me and expect to be led through the proper order by these links that the author is clearly aware of, you will end up skipping a lot of material. What’s even weirder is that the storyline leading to Rising Fire is apparently an alternate timeline to the main Freeport series. Inexplicably, Chengar Qordath chose to link its timeline path as the central sequel string, which leads readers to assume that this is the primary timeline. Except it’s not, and you’ll have no way to know that.
In short: You’ve just been diverted to a non-main string of stories and lost tons of context for when it finally circles around to meet the real timeline’s events.
Poor form. Qordath. Poor form, indeed.
Despite all of that and Changar Qordoth’s highly questionable decisions, I ended up enjoying the story a lot for its interesting characters and strong fight scenes. The ending felt too ‘sunshine and rainbows’ given the overarching context, but it’s not a bad route to take at all. I’m just confident I would have gotten a lot more of it if I’d been allowed to know the contents of the regular timeline properly. This would have easily landed on one of my higher bookshelves if not for that bit of bad decision making.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Freeport Venture — Pretty Good
A Moment in the Sun — WHYRTY?
Freeport Venture: More Equal than Others — Pretty Good
Freeport Venture: The Hunted — Pretty Good
Freeport Venture: Shimmer-Mare's Birthday!!! — Pretty Good
The Princess of Taxes
5,949 Words
By KorenCZ11
Requested by KorenCZ11
Because Applejack is “the responsible one”, Princess Luna comes by Sweet Apple Acres regularly to get her input on Equestria’s ever-changing legislation. On one of these nights the princess gets quite drunk and comes up with the glorious idea to make Applejack Equestria’s newest princess. Of taxes, to be specific. Come the next morning, not a soul is particularly happy about this.
Koren and I were at a restaurant called House of Pies. He needed to be in Houston to get his affairs in order before going to Japan, and who were we to ignore an opportunity to visit? While we talked, he brought up his latest story, which I had already been very interested in. After I admitted that, he outright asked me to give it a review. Thus Koren can now claim to be the only author to have ever requested a review from me in person.
When I saw this story’s title, the very first thing that came to mind was how loathed such a princess would be. It wouldn’t matter how good they are at their job, nobody likes the tax man. You could make a legitimately interesting story about this, Applejack’s the perfect pony for the role, and I would like to see it done someday.
This is not that story.
No, this is a comedy in which Applejack discovers that all her friends (and rulers) are weirdos, racist, and/or weird. They also all seem to be sharing her big brother. And thanks to the apparently insatiable libido of alicorns, so will she if she doesn’t clear out pronto. Thus we get Applejack’s first real challenge: finding a place to stay until her new castle can be built. Because that’s all an economically destitute Equestria needs right now, another castle.
My favorite part in the whole story:
“Our finances aren’t really that bad right now, are they?”
“Twi, where does money come from?”
“The government?”
“Yes, Twi, the finances are that bad.”
The sad (and scary) part is that I think a huge percentage of the public and our leaders would not understand what Applejack is getting at.
My second favorite part is the Discord reversal, which invites a curious but subtle idea. Basically, Discord ends up being on Applejack’s level; he gets it, and he’s willing to help her fix it. This was delightful because it implies a certain element of perspective. We’ve always seen everything in the show from the ponies’ perspectives, and from their perspectives Discord is crazy. What if it only appears that way because we’re seeing it from the ponies’ perspective? And if he and Applejack can perfectly comprehend one another and agree on things, does that mean Applejack also appears crazy to them? And remember, she’s “the responsible one”.
Then we get that ending, in which ponies try to destroy Applejack’s career because of stupidity. Maybe it was just a gag, but it felt to me like it was highlighting the whole point of the story: We are a civilization of children. Our people, our leaders, our culture, it’s all childish, and thus incapable of comprehending the solutions even when they are staring them in the face.
In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed this and highly recommend it. It’s not often I grant comedies a place on my highest bookshelf, but this is one that I think earns the spot.
…
Still want to see that legit look at the life of a Princess of Taxes, though.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Star Overhead — WHYRTY?
Like Mother, Like Daughter — WHYRTY?
The Story of a Forgotten Prince — Pretty Good
Sometimes They Call Me Super — Pretty Good
Ground Control to Major Twi — Needs Work
I'm With You
1,461 Words
By The Red Parade
Alternate Title: Flurry Heart Likes Bad Girls
Cozy Glow hates everything. Her job at this stupid coffee shop, her stupid customers, her stupid boss for making her smile at those customers. Nothing is more loathsome than her most regular customer though. Especially since she got her this job.
This was a curious one. It largely focuses on Cozy Glow and how she seems to hate everything. While it’s not declared outright, this seems to be the result of a mental condition. She gets by largely on the support of Flurry Heart, who is always nice to her no matter how wretchedly she behaves.
I get that the FlurryGlow (or is it CozyHeart?) ship is a thing and somewhat popular, if the number of times I’ve seen it is any indication. But this one was odd. Why does Flurry like Cozy, who has, quote, “done nearly everything in her power to make this goody two-shoes hate her guts. She had really pulled out all the stops!” Is Flurry Heart one of those types that likes being abused?
I’m not sure what to make of it. The writing is generally good (typos aside), I liked Flurry’s characterization here, and I also liked Cozy’s depiction. It just feels like Cozy… changes in the last hundred words, and it felt like a real 180. I feel that The Red Parade could have done more to make that transition work.
Not a bad story by any means, but I feel like it needs more to properly shine. Still, if you’re looking to explore this particular ship or just want to see something from the perspective of a very angry pony, this should work for you.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
dead butterflies (One of Them Will Destroy the Other) — WHYRTY?
Applejack's Tax Relief Plan
5,432 Words
By Seether00
Sweet Apple Acres has become the target of the greatest, most devious evil known to all existence: Tax auditors. Applejack and her kin have to find a way to raise 1,000 bits in two months or things are going to get bad. While pondering what to do about this impending disaster, she overhears the Flower Trio discussing, of all things, Big Mac’s flank. So, they’d be happy to pay good money to watch him work, would they…?
Nothing is certain except death and taxes. Unless you’re me and stuck with the worse of the two.
—Princess Celestia
This is the blog of coincidences. Somehow I wound up reviewing two different stories involving Applejack and taxes. As if that weren’t enough, I read this story specifically on Tax Day in the United States. I keep wondering if I haven’t been targeted by Discord or something.
This is a silly story that is almost exactly what you think: A bunch of mares pay good bits to watch Big McIntosh do his daily work routine. This comes complete with exaggerated reactions from the mares and detailed descriptions of poor Mac’s physique. How curious that Rainbow Dash was not only selected to play the role of security, but also took the role seriously and did not try to take advantage of the position.
If you want some goofy fun themed around a bunch of mares getting turned on by one shy stallion for money, you’ve found your story. This kind of lite sexual humor is my thing, so of course I’m going to give it the ol’ nod of approval.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
An Apple Comes Out of the Cellar — Worth It
In Everything But Name
10,578 Words
By Monochromatic
What are Rarity and Princess Twilight? Officially speaking, they’re nothing. But privately? They are the definition of romantic turmoil.
The Princess of RariTwi returns, and oh, what a glorious return it is. I really need to go visit her private website more often.
In this delectable tale, Rarity and Twilight are in love. But Twilight’s a princess pursuing a genuine political career and Rarity has her fashion empire to oversee. Neither of them are ready, they don’t have the time, and maybe it’s better to keep things unofficial until they reach that nebulous concept called “later”. On this they firmly agree. A shame the agreement is tearing Rarity apart.
Written largely in first person, the story is centered around Rarity’s perspective as she navigates the tempestuous highs and lows of her secret romance with the newly minted monarch of Equestria. As always, it’s got pitch-perfect characterization of the two mares, complete with bibliophilia and that sweet, sweet marshmelodrama. Also as always, Mono combines quirky character trait-based humor with somber personal and romantic struggles with aplomb. The result is at once ceaselessly entertaining and impossible to look away from.
All hail the Princess of RariTwi, who has magnanimously graced us with her material yet again. I can be nothing but hungry for more.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Enchanted Library — WHYRTY?
Our Illusion — WHYRTY?
Constellations — Pretty Good
The Masquerade — Pretty Good
Sleeping Arrangements — Pretty Good
Man Cannot Live On Tea Alone
7,025 Words
By PropMaster
Jake has been stuck in Equestria for two months now, the result of a magical student’s summoning efforts gone wrong. Until a way home is found – and Jake is reassured that this will happen eventually – he stays at the castle as the “mysterious visitor”. One unfortunate day, he is convinced to attend a luncheon as Celestia’s guest of honor. Which means dealing with stuffy, boring, self-absorbed rich ponies. At least until Celestia points him towards a particular unicorn…
Looking at that cover art, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this is a romance. It’s not. Rather, it is the start of a friendship born over a shared love of coffee and a shared distaste for all things ‘Canterlot elite’. A pity that it takes two-thirds of the story to get there. Most of it involves Jake being annoyed by Celestia’s well-meaning machinations.
Ignoring how the story takes a while to get to its supposed point, I don’t have much to complain about. Sure, the start is expositiony, but the rest of the story is good enough to make up for it. Jake’s back-and-forth banter with Celestia, Raven, and Corporal Spirit are decent enough to keep things interesting/amusing, and Rarity was nicely voiced at the end. The story feels a bit like the first chapter of a much larger piece, but there’s already a sequel that will hopefully grant it the conclusion it deserves.
A light, feel-good story involving everyone’s favorite marshmallow ponies. Give it a go if you want an example of Rarity rescuing someone from the elite crowd.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Carry Me Home — Pretty Good
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It or Not) — Pretty Good
Solem Perditum — Pretty Good
Just Dodge!
9,299 Words
By DannyJ
If there is anything Lyra Heartstrings is adamantly sure of, it’s that Discord is an idiot. After all, what kind of superpowered evil genius just stands there and lets the Rainbow of Doom blast him in the face? When she calls him out of it, Discord proposes a game.
Simply put, Discord sends Lyra to possess his body a few seconds prior to him getting blasted by the Elements of Harmony by the Mane Six. Her only job: Avoid getting hit. She is allowed as many retries as she wants. It proves a lot harder than it seems.
Part of me wonders if this wasn’t DannyJ’s attempt to explain how overpowered the EoH is and the nature of Discord’s powers in one go. Even if we grant that exactly what they can do is limited purely by one’s personal headcanon, the result is kind of fun. It’s basically just Lyra trying again and again and again, sometimes being clever and sometimes being downright dumb, with Discord on the sidelines to *cough* “cheer her on”.
Discord being Discord, Lyra being woefully unprepared, and a bit of… I guess this qualifies as lorebuilding? Point is, it’s a well-written, nicely characterized piece with an underlying theme of not making assumptions. I greatly enjoyed it and can see no reason not to recommend it, especially if you want to explore the concept of Discord a bit.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Discord: End of Empires — Worth It
Stories for Next Time:
Lesbian Sheep Syndrome by SilverNotes
Anon Lets the Darkness In by Britanon
The D.H Postal Company by Jessi
Stitched by Jest
Inner Strength by Krickis
The Castle by Discombobulated Soul
Erasure by 6-D Pegasus
Lovey Dovey and the Uncertain Stallion by Crystal Wishes
Summer Island by Bachiavellian
Cerulean by Cherax
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Woo-hoo, one I've actually read! Five years ago, admittedly, but Just Dodge! was good fun, even if I saw the ending coming a mile off. Points for an oldish fic not doing you-know-what with Lyra's character, too.
Yeah, PennyDreadful's Chrysalis fic was an attempt and a half for sure, but between absouletly being the fistic it claims it's not, the wild tonal lurch from sincere and earnest characters emotions to WTF randomness in the second half, and the absurd amount of (mostly unnecessary) changes it makes to Canon that are doled out offhand like we know them all over the fic, it dropped the ball. Usually featured box breakout hits are at least competent, but that did not apply here.
Two fics about taxes in one week? Now that's a keeper! Both look pretty funny too, and it rather different ways, despite both being Apple-centric stories. Onto the list they go!
It's been a while since I've read Just Dodge!, but I remember the banter between Discord and Lyra being fun, and the particular way it went about lore deconstruction was captivating. Especially with this pre-"Slice of Life" take on Lyra, from a time when she was quite the meta 4th wall breaker of her own. A take I'm normally rather cool long (least it's not the usual human-obsessed direction with fandom Lyra, mind), but here, it works.
And another Monochromatic fic of Twilight and Rarity caught in the throes of love yet kept adrift by RL obligations (not an AU this time, though), that's always nice to see. Overall, a solid selection this week.
Oh as for doing writing editing as a side gig? Yeah, don't have any practical experience in that area myself, I'm afraid. Can't offer much more advice than feeling it out, maybe trying it in a small way in a few different directions to see what'll suit you best, all that. Knowing you though, mate, you'll find what suits your best without too much trouble.
Thanks for the review. I was waiting on this one.
I don't think explaining Discord's powers was a particular priority of mine in Dodge; it's more just something that comes up incidentally with the subject matter. I do have in-depth lore for my world on how exactly Discord's powers work, but that's mostly explored through my essays. Lyra's observations in the fic itself are pretty surface level in comparison. I was much more focused on showing off the OPness of the Elements at the time.
Also, neat to see someone reviewing Rising Fire. I remember that one. As a long time Freeport and Winningverse fan, it was a... frustrating read at points, both for the reasons you list, and also the wonky time travel rules, which were not internally consistent. It's also a shame that it ended up being one of Chengar's last stories before apparently retiring from fanfic writing. I miss having a new Chengar update to read every month. Ponibius, too.
5731393
You mean making her obsessed with humans, or making her super homo for Bon Bon?
I've hired several editors, and boy was that money well-spent! As for fanfic, just put out the word you're available. You've got a big enough following that you ought to get interest/offers.
As for the "real" world, every single editor I've known has gone to school with an agent, writer, or publisher, or met them at a con (World Fantasy is a good one for this, evidently), or gotten to know them in some personal way before being given a chance at editing. Another case of who you know, rather than what you know.
I would highly recommend going to the World Fantasy Con. It's much more of a "reader's" con than the media circus that is World Science Fiction, and it's in Kansas City this year, so you get the extra benefit of awesome BBQ places! There will probably even be panels on how to get started in editing, and if not, there will certainly be agents and publishers to talk to.
Good luck!
Eh, good non-comedic Chrysalis is hard to find anyway.
5731408
Humans. Now that LyraBon is canon, reading it in old fics doesn't especially stand out. Reading her being obsessed by wearing gloves or something does.
5731425
Damnit. Guess I need to rework that planned Just Dodge! sequel where Lyra wins and uses her wish to have Discord give her hands and infinite benches to sit on.
oh my god, there's a story called Lesbian Sheep Syndrome? XD how did I miss this?
you sold me on Princess of Taxes, btw :D
Haven't read any of these, but I do reliably like DannyJ's stories.
Also, I don't believe The Red Parade wrote that, because it uses proper title case.
Funny, that Princess of Taxes didn't really sing to me, felt just a bit too lolrandom for my tastes.
And Applejack's Tax Relief Plan... wow, that one's a blast from the past! Very S1 story, when the fandom was doing just everything with their highly limited pool of characters. I'm surprised it ranked highly due to being a pretty basic 'stupid sexy Macintosh' story among many others from the era, although it did do the job fine.
Since I'm generally illiterate, by some miracle, I have read a story on today's list that I didn't write, which is just dodge. I have a vague memory of the story itself, but I remember vividly when I read it, which was between sophomore and Junior year while working at Schlotzsky's over the summer. Before work every day, I would pick a fanfic to read a bit of and do just that. I read a whole bunch of fics like this and had more planned to read, but then the job ended and I went back to college and never picked the habit back up. I kinda wish I had, but it did teach me that I think I have a legit reading disability. Letters would jump around sometimes and I'd read sentences out of order or skip around without meaning to. I started reading my own stuff out loud to help with editing after that.
Oh, and about the editing thing:
I've done it as a freelancer a few times and every time I've done it, I hated it. Maybe it was the story or the writing I was working with, but every time, they were just mediocre works with myriad spelling and grammar issues ranging from severe ESL to native but boring and bland. The money was alright for how little work I was doing, but it was just a drag.
5731420
World Fantasy con, eh? Never heard of it, but being in Kansas City makes it easily within my reach, far more so than any pony con has been this year. Maybe I could take a small vacation this year after all...
5731425
Honestly, I never thought LyraBon stood out before it was canon.
5731433
How did you miss that? ;p
5731446
Usually I'm not okay with the randomness myself, but Koren managed to handle it in a way that didn't offend my sensibilities.
"Big McIntosh gets all the mares" is one of my guilty pleasures, right alongside "Applejack gets all the mares". I don't mind if it's interpreted in a silly way, the concept just tickles me for some reason.
5731473
I've encountered those issues on the few times I've done editing work for people. Of course, I would always do it for free as a favor in the past, and I did it very rarely. I think the worst one I encountered was this story about some rookie cop chasing after a masked criminal with magical powers. The guy started off trying to write the action anime-style (for example, leaping off a motorcycle to drop-kick the bad guy and still somehow land on her feet) while the rest of the story was super-serious and grindingly slow. Then the ending came and I was all "That's it? But nothing happened. What was the climax? What was the lesson learned? The theme? She didn't even catch the bad guy!"
So yeah, I'm aware that there are risks. Still, if there's something I know I'm good at, why not try and make some extra cash out of it?
5731510
Macintosh has been around for so long that it feels a little overdone to me (not bad, just a little tired), but Applejack gets all the mares is a trope I adore (cough). "Applejack's Anonymous" is enduringly one of my favorite fics on the site.
5731514
I seriously considered writing a story in which each of the Mane 6 plus a few others try to grab AJ's attention, with a heavy emphasis on the competitive element. In the end I decided not to bother because there's already plenty of material around for it if I really wanted to look.
5731508
clearly, I am slacking :V
We’re reaching the point where lots of original fans of FiM are now getting to the point of having real influence in major media industries, so it wouldn’t be surprising to see MLP Easter Eggs scattered around in media
5734981
I rather like that, but in this case it really could be all in my head. I mean, Helen and Ivory are by no means perfect OctaScratch clones.