Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLIV · 8:27pm April 4th
Whelp, Evy conveniently forgot about her plans for my demise, so the reviews are still on!
Poor Evy got a lesson Easter weekend on the consequences of one’s decisions. My parents have this swing they’ve set up on a tree in the backyard (Evy calls it “the Barking Tree”, because our dog Millie sees the limbs move from the swinging, gets convinced there are birds in it, and barks incessantly). The swing is designed for a kid to lie down in it while someone else pushes, and it’s really not good for self-propelled swinging. In short: someone has to push it for it to work. And Evy loves that swing, to the point of always wanting to be on it. On Friday Grammy, Pawpaw, and Uncle Jeremy all swung her until their arms were about to fall off. That night she wanted just one more ride, so Pawpaw told her: if you get one more ride on the swing tonight, no swinging at all tomorrow.
Of course, Evy jumped on the deal. Then Saturday came. Now, Pawpaw? He’s a pushover. In the morning before Grammy and Uncle Jeremy were awake, he caved and did a little pushing. But then Grammy and Uncle Jeremy got up and suddenly there was no pushing, because Grammy and Uncle Jeremy honor their agreements and Pawpaw won’t go against Grammy’s rules. To her credit, Evy understood exactly why there was no swinging to be had. Didn’t stop her from “casually mentioning” (read: whining) about the topic all day though. I got the impression this is not her first encounter with “my decisions have consequences”, because while she did bring it up roughly once every ten minutes or so, she by no means threw a tantrum over it. Although to be fair Evy almost never throws tantrums; she’s a very calm kid.
In the meantime, March was an unmitigated success for me. I told myself I’d get 50,000 words written that month, and I (barely) pulled it off. I’m still significantly behind on my 500k/2024 goal, but with months like that I’m well on my way to catching back up. I’m currently planning out a new science fiction Rarity story that’s been on the back of my mind for the last three years or so. I say “Rarity story”, but for once her presence as the MC has nothing to do with my love for Fashion Horse. It’s just that she’s the only character that makes sense to be in the lead given the story’s purpose and musical inspiration.
My EqG story that I finished last month is all set up and ready to go, but I’m still waiting on cover art. The artist I want to commission said she’d open up slots in April, so I’m giving her until a week in to do so. If she’s not open for commissions by the 8th, I’ll go for a different artist who is currently open for business. I hate waiting like this because I really want to share the story, but I like this one and it would feel wrong not introducing it with some good art, y’know?
For those of you who showed interest in pre-reading Guppy Love, don’t worry, the time’s coming. I’ve sent out a message to the prior pre-readers inviting them to come back for this round and am giving them some time to respond. I want to send out the GDoc to everyone at the same time. I figure at around this time next week I’ll create the server and send out the invitations.
That’s enough of my rambling. Let us get to the reviews!
Stories for This Week:
Autumn Sunshine by Rawrienstein
Flower Wars by Shaslan
Sunset Shimmer's Sexy Sapphic Sacrilege Surprise by Sporktacles
We Were Trapped in Stone, And Now We're Free by King of Madness
Notebook Found in a Deserted House by Rune Soldier Dan
Of Caramel and Peanut Butter by Pastel Pony
Feast on the Moon by adcoon
Alone She Stood by Avox
A Melancholy Night by HiddenMaster
Triptych by Estee
Total Word Count: 525,068
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 4
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 2
None: 0
Autumn Sunshine
2,603 Words
By Rawrienstein
Sunset Shimmer is helping Fluttershy do, uh… something, when they encounter a bear cub in a bad situation. Hopefully they can help it out before mama bear shows up.
This was odd. I have mixed feelings about much of it. The story starts with Fluttershy and Sunset wandering the woods in autumn doing… stuff. Really, I have no idea why they’re out there. Does Fluttershy just randomly explore the forest looking for injured creatures? Because that’s what it sounds like they’re doing, and I can’t make sense of it. I suppoose Fluttershy’s ability to talk to animals means they can tell her if any of them need help, but that’s still a strange way to go about it (and she’s not actively doing it in-story). Then they hear a tree fall in the woods and Fluttershy immediately assumes it hurt some creature without any evidence? Granted, eventually the bear does cry out for help, but Fluttershy made her assumption and started running before that, so… Maybe she wanted to check just in case?
Anyway, yeah. Sunset and Fluttershy find a bear with a dead tree fallen on its leg. I can’t help being reminded of the time that happened to me, even if I only recall it because it’s one of my dad’s favorite stories to tell at family gatherings. They help it, Fluttershy tries to convince Sunset she’s as smart as SciTwi, Sunset sees a random horse, and the bear is saved. End with a few seconds of lite FlutterSet (SunShy?) shipping.
I have so many questions. Such as: How did this lever idea even work without something to keep the tree from rolling? Was the thing with the horse supposed to be some sort of big moment for Sunset? If the tree is so rotten it fell in a light breeze, why does Sunset think a hatchet won’t rip through it in seconds? And I still don’t understand why Fluttershy would just randomly traipse around the woods looking for hurt animals.
What was Rarientein trying to do here? Genuinely, I’m not sure. It can’t be the romance, that takes up only around 10% of the story (by the numbers). It can’t be saying something about Sunset and her past, that doesn’t take up much more space. Was it just to show Fluttershy and Sunset doing stuff together, with no greater purpose?
I suppose there’s nothing wrong with the story, it just doesn’t seem to be doing anything. If you want to see Sunset and Fluttershy working on a project together, I guess it’s got that going for it. I’m divided on how to rate this one; should I be nice and put it on the middle ground, or do I place it lower for not seeming to have a purpose? Ultimately I think I’ll do the latter, because this doesn’t really feel like a story so much as it is a series of events that happen without a greater context. Still not sure if that’s the right way to go though.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Flower Wars
3,230 Words
By Shaslan
Rainbow Dash is the most beautiful pony to have ever been gifted to Canterlochtitlan by the twin gods. And the most beautiful must be returned. Rainbow Dash knows this, and is determined for it to be so.
This story reimagines Equestria as an Aztec society, complete with ritual pony sacrifices. When the time comes, Equestria holds a tournament in which all the most beautiful ponies in the land battle. The winner is thrown into the volcano Popocanterpetl as a sacrifice to their sun god, Celestia Huitzilopochtli. Rainbow Dash, born with great beauty, is determined that she will be the next sacrifice, even if it means breaking the heart of the pony who loves her.
It’s clear Shaslan did a lot of research for this. The story is seeped in Aztec imagery and culture, depicting a world in which the alicorns are gods who, as far as we can see, never speak to their subjects. Indeed, in this AU Celestia and Luna might not even exist beyond fantasy. This is hinted at by Applejack, who tries to convince Rainbow that the sacrifice ritual is unnecessary, though Rainbow, like the majority of the ponies, are convinced that the continued existence and prosperity of the entire world depends upon it.
My only curiosity: if everything in the world has been reimagined with Aztec terminology, why do all the ponies sport their regular, English names? I mean, I get it; renaming them would probably make recognizing them impossible, to say nothing of the challenge of doing it in the first place. I suppose it could be that they do have proper Aztec names, and said names have just been ‘translated’ for us English-speaking folk?
Oh, wait, a second curiosity: where’s Twilight? We get to see all the rest of the Mane Six, but not her. It makes one wonder. Could it be that she was a past sacrifice? Perhaps Cadance was too, come to think of it. Or perhaps they are worshiped as deities as well in a part of the pantheon we didn’t get to see. And what’s with Applejack’s story of a past sacrifice that never happened with zero consequences? Could it be that this whole religion is false? Or maybe it’s real but something extraordinary happened that year.
Anyway, if you’re expecting this to be some story in which Rainbow defies her ‘fate’ or whatever, think again. This is a story about the culture of this world, and Rainbow is as big a zealot as they come.
This was a fascinating read with an extremely uncommon setting. It exists solely for those who seek to explore Equestria from a new cultural angle, and in that way it works well. But beware, because this is not a ‘happy’ story, despite Rainbow’s perspective trying to suggest otherwise. Aztec culture was not exactly a bloodless one.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Sunset Shimmer's Sexy Sapphic Sacrilege Surprise
2,434 Words
By Sporktacles
Sequel to Sunset Shimmer's Very Respectable Class Reunion
Prime Minister Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle are sent to the Reindeer Ecclesiocracy to try and improve relations with what has long been an Equestrian ally. Celestia really should have known better by now.
In this, the final entry in the Sunset Orgy Trilogy (as I am hereby dubbing it), Sporktacles brings the series back to its roots by having the story be mostly messages sent back and forth between a royally peeved Celestia and a justly ashamed Sunset Shimmer. And why, exactly, is Celestia so upset this time? Apparently because Sunset and Twilight were caught fornicating with the queen’s daughter on a sacred altar on the morning of the Ecclesiocracy’s holiest holiday of abstinence in front of thousands of reindeer, which somehow led to a massive orgy and the summoning of Discord’s evil sister. Yes, that is a sentence.
Maybe not as fun as the original, but still pretty good. I love all the references to Fall of Equestria and Them’s Fightin’ Herds, even if the latter is woefully brief. And that Sunset and Twilight unintentionally started a social revolution, managed to get themselves permanently exiled from the Ecclesiocracy, and yet somehow still managed to better Equestrian/Reindeer relations. If that doesn’t make sense to you, you’ll just have to read it to get it.
An amusing conclusion to the series. I’d say it’s better than its immediate predecessor, but not quite on par with the original.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Sunset Shimmer Lends Pinkie Pie the Wrong Thumb Drive — Pretty Good
Bad Decisions Make Better Stories — Pretty Good
Sunset Shimmer's Very Respectable Class Reunion — Pretty Good
We Were Trapped in Stone, And Now We're Free
3,201 Words
By King of Madness
We're Trapped in Stone, and We Must Scream
Alterante Title: I Told You Newquestria is Fucked
Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow have been freed from their stone prisons by Sunny Starscout and her friends. That’s a mistake they’ll live to regret.
The previous story explored the mental states of the three villains after a thousand years or more consciously trapped in stone. It was decent enough, though some elements of the entire concept killed the immersion for me. This story is set a month later, when a revenge-crazed Chrysalis decides to take her animosity out on Sunny and her friends (inexplicably, she apparently knows how to cast a petrification spell). Sunny, having no idea how to fight back (it’s not like she’s ever had to go up against a real threat like Twilight & co.), offers an olive branch in the form of Discord.
So right away, we’ve got problems. Sunny just… throws Discord away to save hers and her friends’ skins? You know, I can see that as an initial plan to stay not-petrified, but you’d think they’d try to find some way to stop Chrysalis after. But nah, they just throw Discord under the bus.
I did like Cozy’s chapter. It was good to know at least one of the villains found peace. At least for a little while; although KoM never said so, it’s impossible to imagine that Chrysalis didn’t promptly enslave and/or kill all of ponykind right after dealing with Discord.
Then there’s the Discord chapter, which is… stupid. That’s it, just stupid. Starting with how King of Madness apparently thinks stopping Discord from snapping his fingers will prevent him from using magic. It doesn’t, and I can’t comprehend why anybody would think otherwise. Has King of Madness not seen a single Discord-related episode? We end up with Discord going through a new lifetime of torment for only one of two reasons: either the author doesn’t know how Discord works, or the author just wanted a Bad End for the sake of a Bad End. Both reasons earn my disapproval.
Also: King of Madness needs to learn the proper use of semicolons. As of this story they apparently think they are interchangeable with commas.
This is by far the lesser of the two stories. The first one was all about getting into the characters’ minds and trying to help us feel their emotional states. This one is just “Bad Things Happen, The End”. So much potential squandered.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
We're Trapped in Stone, and We Must Scream — Worth It
Notebook Found in a Deserted House
4,605 Words
By Rune Soldier Dan
Hayseed Pear knew something was in the orchard. He knew because of the whistling, and the shadows that moved, and the animals that disappeared. His Pa and his uncle tell him everything is fine, but he knows they see it too. Maybe if they can get to the station and talk to the Guard… if they’re not too busy preparing for the wedding, that is.
All sorts of stories address what happened at the Canterlot Wedding, but how many address what happened outside the shield? Rune Soldier Dan addresses this topic with a story set in the shadow of the Canterhorn, where a ten-year-old colt, his father and his “uncle” (probably surrogate) find themselves surrounded by hostile creatures they don’t understand.
When the story started, I had trouble getting into the mood of it. After all, it’s supposedly written by a ten-year-old. While Rune Soldier Dan does a great job channeling a ten-year-old, that comes with the caveat of a child’s writing that fails to account for the emotional gravitas of the situation. At least, at first. But gradually things get worse, Hayseed finds himself alone and facing doppelgangers he knows are fake, and he’s becoming more and more desperate for an escape. Things really do start to get scary for the poor thing, and Rune Soldier Dan did an excellent job translating that to the audience.
Ultimately, this proved an excellent example of subtle horror done right. Just about the only thing I find questionable is Hayseed’s ability to recount exact dialogue, although I’m willing to handwave that given how good everything else is.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
To Try For the Sun — WHYRTY?
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead — WHYRTY?
A Band of Misfit Losers Hunt the Undead — WHYRTY?
The First Flame — Pretty Good
Wayward Sun — Pretty Good
Of Caramel and Peanut Butter
1,038 Words
By Pastel Pony
Every day, Trixie has apple slices and caramel for lunch. Every. Day. She’ll fight anyone who tries to stop her from doing so. But there’s one thing she can’t fight: meddling parents who don’t think teenagers should be permitted to make their own life decisions. Thus has the school replaced the caramel in her daily lunch with… peanut butter. Clearly, this is a cruel injustice.
This was highly entertaining. It’s mostly Trixie being a drama queen for attention. No, seriously; Lightning Dust (her daily dining companion) points out that Trixie always waits until the very last box of apple slices is available before going for them, probably just for the sake of drawing attention to the whole thing. This Trixie is more melodramatic than Rarity is, and is not above stealing other melodramatic people’s lines for her own purposes.
It’s little more than Trixie being endearingly silly with Lightning Dust as her ever-eye-rolling straight woman. I couldn’t stop grinning.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Eternal — Pretty Good
What Wasn't Hers — Worth It
The Hooves Family Tree — Needs Work
Feast on the Moon
6,085 Words
By adcoon
Once, many centuries ago, there was a ritual: the Feast of the Moon. It involves Luna being consumed in a great feast. She wants the ritual to return, and she’s picked Twilight to lead it. Twilight is… perplexed, to put it mildly.
Given the comedy tag and the fact the story opens with Luna clearly omitting some facts when she asks Twilight to do this, I was expecting the whole thing to be metaphorical. You know, like how the bread and wine in the Eucharist is metaphorical for Jesus letting others “consume of his body and blood”.
But no. It’s literal. Luna wants Twilight to slit her throat, remove her organs, skin and clean her corpse, ram a pole through her flesh and roast her over a fire. In front of the entire town of Ponyville. Which will then feast on the results.
I was perplexed. To put it mildly.
It seems I forgot we’re dealing with adcoon, the same person who believes Luna can be killed by throwing an old, threadbare cloak over her head. Which is unrelated, but I swear I’m never letting them live down that scene. But they do have an interest in exploring more taboo and dark subjects, as evidenced by their stories Stitch, Fillystata, and (to a much lesser degree, and only in the ‘taboo’ area) Painted Jack, so I really should have known this was going to take the premise seriously.
It is of note that of all the ponies it was Pinkie Pie who most rejected to the idea. I have mixed feelings, mostly because her main reason for objecting is “everyone writes mean stories about me killing and eating ponies already.” It’s essentially one big fourth wall break, which doesn’t feel like a good reason to me. If you want Pinkie to object to killing somepony, do it because of character reasons, not as one big meta wink to the audience.
Less curious but still worthy of note is how Fluttershy is the one least put off by the idea. This is for character reasons, following the logic of her being an animal caretaker and the inevitable need to put down some animals in the name of mercy. It’s a subject that comes up every once in a while with her and I like to see it addressed in a somewhat realistic manner like this… although I question how Fluttershy’s need to perform mercy killings also equates to her having eaten meat in the past. Given her work with Twilight later it’s clear that she knows how to use a knife, so it’s not like she’s performing these mercy killings with her bare teeth.
One thing I do appreciate is the subtle, un-stated elements. It is implied multiple times, and most heavily at the end, that Luna’s going to be revived later. This would explain why nopony in the crowd is reacting in horror that Twilight is literally killing a head of state: they all know Luna will be back. It also implies that this is a necromantic ritual, which has some curious implications all on its own. But none of this is stated outright; adcoon leaves it for us to interpret for ourselves, and I like that.
Overall, this story is… Well, it’s weird, but in a good way. It takes something wild – one might go so far as to say “extreme” – and tries to fit it into an MLP setting. Whether it works or not will be up to the individual, but I think adcoon did an alright job of it. The Pinkie scene is the only downer for me, and even then only because I felt a better reason for her reluctance could have been offered. I must warn readers, however, that this story isn’t going light on the details. adcoon makes sure to write out Luna’s death and the cleaning of her corpse. Those of you who have actually gone through the act of cleaning, say, a deer (quite fascinating to watch, actually) might not be bothered too much, but the more squeamish amongst us may be appalled.
If you’re interested in something completely different, give this a go. Just be aware that it is quite macabre.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Pre-Post Edit: Is it my imagination, or is that cover art an image of Celestia eating King Sombra?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Stitch — WHYRTY?
The Big Butterfly Brouhaha — WHYRTY?
Painted Jack — Pretty Good
Fillystata — Worth It
Mare in the Mirror — Worth It
Alone She Stood
1,039 Words
By Avox
Berry Punch is in court, attending the trial of the stallion who murdered her daughter. Or at least, that’s what she believes.
Despite that introduction, this is written from the perspective of the accused. The story focuses on how he interprets the case and, put simply, how he got away with it. I don’t consider that a spoiler; Avox was forecasting it from the start with a constant deluge of hints. I can’t help thinking of the film Mr. Brooks, whom the villain reminds me of to a limited degree.
While there’s nothing wrong with the story per se, there are two issues that bug me. The first is that this clearly should have been an EqG story. Setting it in Equestria proper but limiting the court system to the common completely ignores all the benefits of magic in a case like this. I guarantee you that if Twilight Sparkle were asked to investigate the first murder case Equestria has seen in over eighty years (which isn’t a far-fetched idea) she’d be able to figure out the truth. But that topic has already been addressed by others in the story’s comments section, so I won’t let it take up too much presence here.
No, what really bothers me is that the guy did it. From a storytelling perspective, it’s all been done. We all know that sometimes villains get away with it, stories have been written on the subject for as long as there have been stories. You know what would have been really interesting? If the guy really was innocent and the story focused on his emotional reaction to Berry Punch accusing him. Just imagine it, this guy gets acquitted then ends up having to confront a mourning mother who still thinks he’s guilty. That is interesting.
But we get what we get. And as what it is, the story is… okay. Just okay. It won’t last for me, because it’s a story I’ve seen before and done in bigger, better ways.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Into a Goodbye Sky — Pretty Good
The Human That History Forgot — Pretty Good
Gravity — Worth It
Sinners in the Hooves of an Angry Goddess — Worth It
The Closet Is a Cold Place — Crackfic
A Melancholy Night
1,976 Words
HiddenMaster failed to provide cover art.
Sunset Shimmer goes home and fails to make pancakes. Which is fine.
Written as a reaction to the “Sunset Shimmer is disenchanted with the human world” trope, this short story has Sunset Shimmer thinking on why she loves winter, how different she is from the average pony, and how she’s perfectly content to remain a human for the rest of her life.
It’s clear by the author’s note that HiddenMaster wanted to do a lot more with this. What we get is… well, the title would have you think it’s melancholy, but I never felt like it was. “Subdued”, perhaps. Sunset makes a case for why winter is a pleasant time of year and recalls the first time she (reluctantly) tried to make a friend. The story combines these two elements to paint a larger picture as to who she is in comparison to most ponies, and I think that works really well.
Though I can’t help but wonder if the pancakes were a metaphor for something deeper.
Give it a go if you feel like listening to Sunset think about… things.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Friendly Letter from Chrysalis — Pretty Good
The Mane Six and Spike have been summoned to Canterlot. Not by Celestia, but by Discord. He has a mission for them, and since he’s “reformed”, he’s going to require that the mission follow Celestia’s methodology. Surely she won’t be opposed to them undertaking a life-or-death quest with only the most cryptic of clues and no royal assistance whatsoever when he could easily solve the problem with a snap of his fingers. But this mission is complex, and what it will teach the Mane Six and Spike will change their view of everything they’ve ever known.
Another classic has come and gone for these blogs. This time the story follows the Mane Six and Spike – and yes, this time his inclusion is critical – as they embark on a mission in the small unicorn town of Trotter’s Falls. And I must emphasize unicorn town, with all the worst negatives that implies.
The story is complicated, with far too many twists and sublayers to fit into a neat summary. Every point is integral such that the story would be incomplete if any one was left out, or so it feels. The primary aspect is that somepony out there is attempting a Great Work: discovering through intense research and direct experimentation a means of changing a regular pony into an alicorn. Of course, “direct experimentation” means a test subject is needed, and a lot of this story revolves around seeking out, confronting, and ultimately trying to help that test subject. What our heroines fail to account for, at least at first, is that the test subject requires somepony to administer the testing.
A vast number of topics are brought up, with an accompanying number of sins and secrets. Triptych delves into cults, child abuse, racism, elitism, self-delusion of many varieties, blackmail, and attempted murder, just to name the things that come to mind off the cuff. The story will delve into how unicorn magic works, as well as pegasus magic. It will reveal the great secret that is earth pony magic and how its very existence has unintentionally fostered prejudice. There will be hidden lore uncovered about the Elements, about Celestia and Luna, and about previous bearers of the Elements. We will learn the unlearnable truths of Pinkie Sense and the Stare. Characters will have their genealogies called into question, some with significant personal impact. We will peer beyond the veil to meet the long departed. Friends will become foes, foes will become friends, and some friends-turned-foe may try a stint at redemption. Rarity will find she’s not as average as she thinks, Applejack will learn to take risks, Fluttershy will deny she has courage even as she puts it on display, Rainbow will write a book, Pinkie Pie will hear for the first time ever, and Twilight Sparkle will embrace her inner East Horse.
All of that, and I’ve still barely scratched the surface.
Just to make things even more complex, we’re not getting everything chronologically or even with clarity. Every once in a while Estee decides to go into Flashback Mode, showing us events set during prior chapters or even before the story ever began, and in some cases this will be done without ever telling us what character these flashbacks are intended for. You’ll have to figure that out through context clues, which might be trickier than normal considering sometimes we haven’t properly met the character for whom the flashback is intended. You’ll almost certainly be able to establish such things later, but “later” often means long after said flashback has passed.
As for clarity, some parts of this story rely heavily on context clues and a stellar recollection of all that came before. The biggest example of this is a near-end chapter where Twilight gets to have a talk with Celestia, but the things Celestia says are confusing and seem to be coming out of nowhere and you start to question if the old white mare hasn’t finally gone batty. I read the comments of that chapter and thus was able to learn what was really going on, and Estee clarifies things in the next chapter, but at the time I was totally lost. It didn’t help that the day I read the chapter I was at my parents’ place getting distracted by my grandmother’s stupid TV shows where people walk around old houses pretending to talk to ghosts and be scared while my 5-y.o. niece Evy kept coming by every two or three paragraphs to talk at me. I eventually came to realize that Estee had left a number of clues throughout the story hinting at what this chapter was truly getting at.
Point is, be prepared to pay attention and flex those reading comprehension skills, because there are going to be times when you need them.
One complaint I noticed in some of the comments is that the story is very slow. That is both accurate and completely incorrect. In terms of physical action, yes, the story is slow. For much of the first half or more of the story events progress not by defeating bad guys and going on journeys but instead by conversations and what they uncover about the characters. Every chapter reveals something big which will have lasting implications throughout the story, they just don’t come in the form of action. If you want to call that “slow”, I guess that’s one definition for it. This is a mystery before anything else, and every new discovery will generate a few more questions to deepen the shadows.
But when Estee does finally get to the “adventure” part, the story goes hard. There’s a series of several chapters featuring multiple battles that all together amount to a single very long chase sequence. Indeed, that sequence could be considered the climax, and it is every bit as exciting (and difficult) as one could hope after having to wade through so much to get there.
I still love Estee’s narrative style. It has this fascinating ability to maintain an eye for what is important even as it seeds in witty lines referencing silly character traits, past events (both canon and not), or the simple quirkiness that is Equestria. It’s fascinating how Estee can weave dreadful seriousness with humor and not only prevent them from clashing, but also have them support and accentuate one another. Twilight offering to buy rare, one-of-a-kind books with money she doesn’t have (or, if absolutely no other option is presented, considering the possibility of “borrowing” them forever) sides wonderfully with how she doesn’t realize those books are critical clues to the horrible reality she’s trying to uncover. Rainbow Dash’s nonexistent concept of grammar and Twilight’s dread at promising to help her with her book compliments nicely with how the book’s very existence leads to a crisis and mental breakdown for Twilight later on. So many things can seem so small when first brought up, many seeming to be nothing more than humorous asides intended to make the reader smile, but often those things become important down the line in unexpected ways. Writers can learn from Estee’s methods.
I can think of nothing about the story I didn’t like, although a few elements might have made me hesitate. The need for skilled reading comprehension amidst the chronologically flexible storytelling is one example. The careful dissemination of facts through Show is a great storytelling tool, but may prove too much for those who want the facts presented to them on a silver platter, especially for a story of this scale. The story also makes numerous references to other stories Estee wrote within this AU, references that may lose any readers unaware of what is being discussed (I’m very glad I did that Estee-only blog before reading this).
From start to finish, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It quickly became the story I always read last on a daily basis, because it was the best thing I had going and I knew I could rely on it to make up for whatever else I happened to be reading on a given day. I intend to continue reading from this AU, preferably going back to do so in chronological order. I trust it will all entertain me, one way or another.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Five Hundred Little Murders — WHYRTY?
The Hypocrisy Of Tolerance — WHYRTY?
Post Negative Comments Only — WHYRTY?
Bitter/Sweet — Pretty Good
Mechanical Aptitude — Pretty Good
Bonus Review: Island of the Blue Dolphins
181 Pages
By Scott O'Dell
Pre-Post Note: The cover art above is what is on the copy of the book I own, but the link leads to a different one.
The Island of the Blue Dolphins is populated by simple natives numbering only a few dozen. Karana is one of those, and she desires no other life. But one day the hunters from the North came. Karana’s life is about to change, and she will be hard-pressed to weather those changes.
Island of the Blue Dolphins is a fictional retelling of the true story of the Lost Woman of San Nicholas. Little is known about this woman save that she was a Native American belonging to the Nicoleño tribe, of which she was the last surviving member. This tribe lived on San Nicolas Island, which is just sixty miles off the southern California coastline. After the rest of her tribe was relocated to the American mainland the woman, whose true native name has never been determined, lived alone on the island from 1835 to 1853 before finally being rescued by christian missionaries.
Scott O’dell’s story doesn’t have a lot of factual basis regarding the woman’s life. It couldn’t, as we know very little on the subject. The woman herself died only seven weeks after her rescue, and since nobody was able to understand her language she was never able to tell her story. But that isn’t to say Scott didn’t do his research – indeed, he wouldn’t be Scott O’dell if he hadn’t. Accuracies include Karana’s house made partially from whale bones and the fact that most of her tribe were killed by otter hunters (though the specifics are very different), just as a couple examples.
As you can imagine, the book imagines the life and challenges Karana might have faced living alone on San Nicholas. Her real-life counterpart was already middle aged by the time she was left alone, but Scott makes her only twelve for the purposes of this story, possibly in an effort to make her more relatable to his target demographic. We learn how she hunts for food, her private war against the local wild dogs, how she decides upon and builds her home, and so much more. Karana goes on her own little adventures, such as when she got caught in the middle of a fight between sea elephants, how she tamed one of the wild dogs, or the time she tried to hunt a large octopus (with mixed results). The thing about this story is that it never stops; every chapter brings something interesting, and it all goes by faster than you’d think.
As with the previously reviewed The Black Pearl, the writing is kept simple, again undoubtedly due to the target audience. This doesn’t prevent the sense of fascination that comes with exploring a new culture, a new (if small) landscape, and more than anything, understanding the painful struggle Karana goes through day by day. From her physical pains to her ever-worsening loneliness, from the loss of her family to making new friends in the local wildlife, Karana is never an uninteresting protagonist.
I’ve read this story many times through the years, but this is the first time since I started reading with a more critical eye. As a reviewer, I can see why it is widely regarded as Scott O’Dell’s best work. The dense content combined with a simple writing style all tied together by constant cultural worldbuilding make this a hard one to put down even as an adult.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Stories for Next Time:
To Be Remembered by MrSpartan
The Dirge of a River by SilverEyedWolf
Dear Diary by KitsuneRisu
Man Cannot Live On Coffee Alone by PropMaster
Sombran Lullaby by voroshilov
Overcome them by Wolfeh05
Radioactive by Skeeter The Lurker
The Grand RariShip Council by Monochromatic
A Rock Facing West by Oroboro
A Survey of the Work of Vinyl Scratch (Abbreviated) by Meta Four
Recent Review Map:
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCXLIX
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCL
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLI
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLII – Cynewulf Edition
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLIII
You Are Here
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLV
TBD
TBD
TBD
TBD
Need some editing done? Working on a story and not sure how it’s shaping up? I’m now doing editing and critique commissions! Check here for more information and PM me if interested.
Ooh, seems We Were Trapped in Stone, and Now We're Freed perplexed and annoyed you even more than me. Difficulty of borderline ratings, but it certainly felt like I didn't see the point of the decisions made for the chapters, beyond something the author personally wanted without considering its effect as a reading experience for others. Which, well, fanfic is free, so that's not a sin, exactly, but… yeah.
Oh, Flower Wars is another I've read too. Don't think any preconceived notions of it being about Dash fighting fate came to mind, probably off the particular brand of acclaim I was coming to the fic from, so that didn't bother me. Ditto with the English character names: you can chalk that up to being too impressed with all the authentic research done for a fic speed-written in three hours for the Iron Author contest.
While I haven't read Triptych, I have read a healthy number of Estee's other works, both those clarified in the description as being in that continuity and those not. Estee only ever writes in the same tone and with the same approach to the characters, so they both "count" here.
Being honest, I have gotten a little more disillusioned with the cynical bleakness of Estee's Verse of late, whatever it is very well written and does really well by Spike. And as much great things as I have heard about this fic, at that length, and with accusations of "slowness" from some folks (just because everything happening along the way is essential doesn't mean the story couldn't still be reworked so they aren't all needed, without dipping in quality overall, and thus it can be shorter), I dunno if I see myself reading it anytime soon. Given this fic wasn't written when Estee had entered the "using Patreon to support oneself and thus multi-chapter fics go on and on like a serialised work" phase, being longer than the whole of LotR does seem dubious from the outset.
Still, make no mistake, I'm glad it exists, and I don't doubt it shows off the strengths and then some of Estee's works. Plus evolution of their writing style, don't'cha know.
Never thought I'd see Island of the Blue Dolphins on this site. I first read it in junior high for a class assignment, and I loved it long before it was over. Need to find a new copy for my bookshelves.
Thanks for the review! I enjoyed your thoughts on it.
For Celestia and Luna I just picked out the names of the sun and moon god and tacked them on as second names. For the rest of the ponies Aztec names felt unnecessary, and also would be very hard to translate
Thank you for the review!
Blame my reading habits for that.
I read a lot of turn of the century authors like Wells, Melville, and Lovecraft, and they have a very common convention of stories told as though through a journal being suspiciously precise in accounting the detail of every conversation.
At any rate, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was my only real venture into the world of horror (Momlestia shooting vampires doesn't count
) and I like what I wrote enough to return to it now and then.
Moving on, Island of the Blue Dolphins! That's not a name I've heard in a while. I remember reading it as a grade schooler, but recall little of it. Ah, for the days of being a voracious reader when I could just consume book after book after book...
Ouch. In my defense, it's not like the show was consistent with Discord anyway.
Anyways, I wrote it cuz the idea stuck with me, just like the last one. After the first review, I wasn't exactly expecting praise for this one. But thank you for the review.
I absolutely adored Flower Wars, though possibly it was a "right fic at the right time" story for me. I'm pretty sure I'd have at least very much liked it at any point, though -- even if it hadn't been speedwritten.
Triptych is a story I've known about since years before it was finished, but I increasingly suspect it will be on my "classics I've never actually read" pile forever. I've read enough by Estee not to remotely doubt the quality of the writing... but while I'm not quite someone who needs, as you put it, "the facts presented to [me] on a silver platter", nor am I someone who copes well with stories where it's necessary to remember an apparently minor detail from 100,000 words earlier. The point about numerous references to other stories in the same AI puts me off a bit, too. Add to that the point you make about flashbacks and it feels like Estee is almost making a virtue of opaqueness at times. That's something plenty of readers love, but I don't tend to be one of them.
In summary? I'm confident it's a very well written story, and I felt that even before reading your review. I just don't think it's the story for me.
Island of the Blue Dolphins is the only story today that I've read and that was way back in grade school. I don't think I appreciated the book back then as much as I would today, mainly because it was required reading and all the associated homework that came with it. I do remember watching the movie in class after finishing the book and that led to an interesting discussion of adapting the written word to screen. As I got older I realized just how many movies/shows/games are based on pre-existing material and how it can be shaped to suit the current trends and audience.
Not sure if I made much of a point here, just wanted to relate my experience.
If Evy ever met my nephew, the two would become fast friends that would take over the world. True facts.
I’d heard of Triptych in the past but had been intimidated by how it seemed to part of a much larger collection that I could not find a starting point for so I had kept putting them off.
When you did your previous Estee blog that gave me a good place to start and I’ve since read all of them and they’ve become some of my favourite stories on the site-even the shorter stories have really interesting implications or references mixed in with the fantastic character voices and personalities.
If you knew the backstory behind Flower Wars, it'd blow your mind. It won a very well-deserved prize.
"My friends call me CCCLiv."
Flower Wars caught my attention immediately
and then after a few days I actually read it and after another few days I thought to write something about it. As I'm sure most thought, it's a really unique cultural perspective to take. I'm also sure most were disappointed that it ended on such a downer note, but stories really don't need to have happy endings, I honestly wish I could have it in me to write something so dark and yet strikingly beautiful. One could speculate on the ambiguity of its presentation but I think that's overlooking the point that faith is a largely ambiguous concept, especially in a setting where magic really does exist. I would love if there was more done with the setting but it's frankly astonishing that the story is as deep as it is considering that it's so short and it was written as flash fiction for a contest.And of course Triptych is the shadow that looms over this whole thing--I remember being surprised that it didn't show up in the Estee-themed blog that you did. I first heard about it a few years ago and slowly read through the whole thing. I haven't read much of Estee's other work, I think only one, a short story about Rarity coping with hair product shortages, Five Hundred Little Murders has been on my backlog for a long time. I generally thought that the quality of their writing was quite good and I was really into the way they handled worldbuilding, though the tone doesn't quite sit right with me sometimes. The bleak cynicism works well when it comes to establishing the unsettling unfamiliarity of Trotter's Falls, but I remember every now and then there being these off-handed asides about something being awful. Photo Finish taking advantage of Fluttershy by not paying her for her modeling work makes enough sense but comes off as absurdly over the top in making Fluttershy seem as pathetic and put-upon as possible, and I had the impression that Estee has an excessively dim view of the CMC, Scootaloo in particular.
There's a lot that I could say about all of the characters and the worldbuilding. The emotional weight all throughout the story is an absolute rollercoaster, the main cast suffers through so much and the catharsis at the end is such a relief. The original characters really run the gamut in their presentations, all hitting the exact right notes to get their personalities across. I feel the one I must highlight the most though is Spike. I think that it says a lot about a big MLP story prominently featuring the mane six to judge how Spike is implemented, and Triptych in my opinion is the gold standard when it comes to not leaving Spike behind; he is definitively a part of the group, integral to the story, fully his own character instead of just being a plucky assistant joined to Twilight at the hip.
But there was one big thing that I didn't really like: the scene toward the end when Celestia talks down to Twilight and makes the Big Reveal. It's not exactly that I dislike the idea of Celestia tearing into Twilight--I actually think that's a really inspired idea; we're so used to the idea of Celestia being a nurturing maternal figure, everyone would expect that she'd help Twilight after all the hell she went through for the past few days, but then she just...doesn't, and instead only makes it even worse. The issue was...it's a little hard for me to expound on it exactly because it's been so long since I read it, but I felt like it needed to be either toned down or even more extreme, as it is it's straddling this weird middle ground. It was compounded by the part of the chapter after it where Twilight was sulking and refusing to talk to Celestia, and then Luna comes in and tells her that she needs to get her head out of her ass. It didn't feel like the appropriate reaction given the circumstances, makes it feel really gross and victim-blamey. If I was in Twilight's shoes in those circumstances, I'd never want to talk to Celestia again either.
Most of what I can say is just nitpicking, I don't think it's enough to detract from the masterwork of suspense that Triptych is. I don't really recall ever being especially confused by all the twists and nonlinearity, which is surprising perhaps given how glacial my reading pace is. I can understand people being turned off by how huge the story is, but like...come on, just read it. Just do it, you, the person reading this comment right now. Much like not all stories need to have happy endings, not all stories need to be short and easily digestible. As far as I can tell, it's a story that was being published as each chapter was completed, and it's kind of unbelievable that comes to fit together as well as it does in the end.
Because I only do one "big" story per blog, I'm limited to 26 of them per year. I take them on a first-come-first-serve basis and schedule them out, which means I could have a particular 70k+ story chosen for a given blog well over a year in advance. By comparison, each individual blog has its short/medium stories chosen a couple months in advance at the very least. So when I decided to make that blog an Estee-only one, I not only already had a big story selected for the week that wasn't Estee's, it was way too late to squeeze Triptych in as an 11th "extra".
Plus that was the same week Prey and a Lamb was scheduled to release, and given I'd just spent 134 days reading it, I wasn't interesting in pushing its release back. Even if that wasn't the case, changing the Big Story schedule at the last minute also invariably mean rescheduling over a year's worth of reading material, and I'm not so devoted to the "one author only blog" concept to do that.
Your comment about Fluttershy being over-the-top put upon by Photo Finish not paying her has allowed something to finally click for me. Forgive me while I take this opportunity to theorize:
Everyone talks about how Estee's writing is full of cynicism, and all this time I've been like "I don't see it". All I ever saw was Estee's world being realistic, having a diverse range of characters both ethically good and ethically bad. But now I realize that both in canon and fanon, Equestria has always been a "sunshine and rainbows" world where everypony being decent to one another is the norm. I read a story that feels relatively normal to the real world and I don't blink, but what's normal for the real world isn't normal for Equestria. Estee's version of Equestria defies the trend, and everyone's so accustomed to thinking of that trend as the norm that they see Estee's more realistic world and declare it "cynical".
A lot of readers don't want to see the real world in Equestria. They come to Equestria to escape it. But Estee writes Equestria with the same social reality as the real world, so for them that's a problem. It's "cynical" only in comparison to what everyone wants to think Equestria is/should be.
That's my new theory, anyway. I could be wildly off-base. Feel free to tear it apart.