Rainbow Dash was beautiful, the most beautiful pony to be born in a century — and so her fate was sealed. Beauty must be sacrificed, and so Rainbow Dash must die.
Winner of the 2023 EFNW Iron Author Contest. I think I beat out about 40 other writers, and it was hugely exciting to win. Hope you enjoy the read!
Prompts were: vibrant vestigial, vexing volcano, verdant vegetable. Pretty insane for prompts, but Xepher had to pronounce all the Aztec words in my story so I think we're even.
Chapters (1)
I said it at EFNW but I'll say it again: you have a wonderful talent for making AUs (especially in speedwrite environments) that feel distinct, fleshed out, and still familiar despite what makes them their own. The mythology that's drawn upon here is implemented with the ponies we know so well, facets of who they are in the show shining through despite the different place they live in.
Of course, that's not to diminish the emotional core here. It's a wonderful tragedy, that despite hoping it could have ended differently I knew could only have one outcome. Congratulations again, Shaslan!
Definitely a no-brainer to give you the win. Excellent work!
Celestia's gotta be getting real tired of this.
It's kind of flawless.. out of curiosity how much time was allotted to write this
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2 hours, same as all the other iron author stories - though i did spend the first 30 minutes frantically googling aztec culture
Howdy, hi~!
Banger story. I love the interweaving of Aztec myth into the FIM world. The roles you've picked for canon characters feel so appropriate. I love this stunning glimpse into a strange world unlike that of the show. Its so emotionally tense and a riveting read with beautiful interwoven culture. Excellent read, thanks~!
I like the uplifting ending. Definitely deserves the win, bravó!
I was in awe listening to this, baffled by how you managed to write something so good in such a short amount of time. Well earned!
I am still in awe over this. excellent Iron Author entry worth of every ounce of praise it received.
Never going to forget the first time hearing this story. Incredible in every way, and entirely deserving of first place.
This was amazing! This is the kind of story that just knocks you out of your chair, and absolutely deserved the win. The amount of worldbuilding that went into it is insane and it feels absolutely genuine. I could picture everything when Xepher did the reading of it.
Congratulations on a fantastic story!
This is one of the most orginal and entertaining MLP stories I have ever read. Aztec ponies. I'd love to read more stories of this type.
I feel so privileged to have gotten to hear this one early,
failed attempts at pronunciation and all.I'm so glad it got the first place it so richly deserves.Everyone’s already commented on how great the world building is, so I won’t talk too much about it, but DAMN, nice work! Felt real! And stuff. Coolsies. Something else I’ll say is that we’ve seen a lot of Greece and Rome and medieval Europe and all that, but Aztecs are a completely new thing, at least to my eyes. Very very creative!
This was a fantastic story at the Iron Author Competition, and it's still a fantastic story now. I'm still amazed you were able to come up with this in two hours! Congrats again on a well deserved win!
Amazing work. This is a presentation of the setting I have never seen before and I'm not sure anyone has attempted before. A well-deserved win.
How did you write this in 2 hours???
I can barely write half as much in double the time.
This is gud.
An absolutely amazing ride from start to finish! That you put this stunning work together in barely two hours makes this an even more impressive feat. A very, very well deserved 1st place win!
Hope to see you again next year!
-Vic
(aka Grand Moff Pony)
I would've gone with Ponecatepetl but can't complain. Congrats for the win!
Interesting story and very unique but not to my taste.
It loses something without Xepher struggling through the pronunciation of half of the proper nouns.
In all seriousness, magnificent work. You absolutely deserved the gold on this one. Seriously, not just creating a fleshed out AU but also folding in poetry in the scene breaks? Absolutely insane. Congrats, and thank you for bringing it to Fimfic.
It deserved the win, and I am glad to see you sharing this work with the world now. Once again Congrats, and to everyone else, quit picking on poor Xepher
Hearing this read at the end of Iron Author absolutely blew me away. This is genuinely some next-level stuff, hon, you'd better be proud of it 👏
I think my favorite part is, for all its flare and intricate writing and unique world, at it's heart this is a simple story. Dash's duty gets in the way of her love—that notion is one of the best kind of narratives for a reason. What we believe vs what we want, duty vs love, self-respest vs the respect of a loved one.
Duty vs love. Such a simple, powerful, painful narrative, presented in a totally unique style and setting. Congrats again on the win, girl. You earned it 🙏🙏🙏
Oh, and that cover art is gorgeous btw
This is so powerful, I felt like I was actually there for a moment. My gosh, just amazing.
I feel so blessed to be able to read your writing, Shas. ☺️ Even more so for this one, as one of the first to hear it read aloud, and by you no less!
This story is incredibly immersive and poignant--largely thanks to the artistic imagery and the evocative wording that paints such a painfully beautiful image. But more than that, it's also excellent worldbuilding, stellar characterization, and wonderful storytelling to boot.
If you ever end up writing more in this universe, I am the MOST down to read it. Them. All. All the many things.
I don't think I even need to say it was a well-deserved win, but I think it's good to hear it again (and again and again).
A wonderful, wonderful AU crafted under time pressure, but that pressure simply let this diamond shine more brightly!
Heard this read at EFNW. Truly an amazing story- even more so when you consider that it was written in under 2 hours!
So glad I got a chance to read this after hearing Xepher narrate it at EFNW. This story floored me when I first heard it, and it reverberated no less with me upon reading it now. Your writing flows so smoothly and easily with such evocative, vivid language... Both hearing and reading it, I could so clearly picture the story and society you portrayed in a little over 3K words. For such a short story, it feels like a journey to me, one whose ambiguous ending (at least it is to me) packs such an echoing punch that I found myself thinking about it several times between the Iron Author ceremony and now.
Wow. Just wow.
The fact that you planned, wrote, completed, and edited this story in all of two hours demonstrates some really impressive talent. You should be proud! 🙏I'll definitely be checking out your other stories.
I don't think I'll say anything here that hasn't already been said several times, but +1 to just absolutely loving how richly detailed this AU was -- and yet, also how grounded it was in the ponies that we knew; RD and the others were all so perfectly themselves seen through the lens of the different situations and pressures of this AU, which is one of my favorite things about well-done AUs. (Which this very much was.)
+1 also to being particularly pleased to have had a chance to hear it read aloud, stumbling over the Aztec words and all. Amazing story, and an incredibly well-deserved win. :)
Stories like this are why we hold an Iron Author competition at every Everfree Northwest.
The fact that someone can write this in two hours, away from home, in an unfamiliar environment, under pressure, is an inspiration to us all and a powerful testament to the creative wealth of this community.
Every year, people rise to the challenge and impress us, and this is a spectacular example. Well done, Shaslan. Well done.
I haven't stopped thinking about this since I heard it read at Everfree, mangled pronunciations and all. That you did this in two hours is extraordinary and you more than earned the award.
Absolutely superb. It's a damn shame I didn't make it to Everfree Northwest because I would have loved to hear you read this. This is a fantastic story and I'm blown away that you wrote it in only 2 hours.
Nice~♡ Raven has the Royal Canterlot Voice in this~♡
In some ways this story was predictable... But it's also very well written! Wow... These types of stories are not my thing, and yet I read it all the way thought!
It has a happier ending than what I was expecting. When I read that Rainbow Dash was going to be a " Bride of Celestia Huitzilopochtli" I thought Raven was going to skin Rainbow Dash and wear her skin. (Like in the Founding Myth of Tenochtilan)
Haven't read yet, but:
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Daring Do adventures in... well getting Mayan and Aztec mixed in with each other is such a common thing it is a TVTrope* but in any case she adventures in ruins like those from Central America I am fairly sure.
*Caution: Trope responsibly, loss of time may result. (Informal education in literature may also result, but that is usually considered a plus.)
absolutely incredible stuff here. love the world you managed to build in such a limited space, especially rainbow as a character and how she fits into this world—im normally very neutral on rainbow dash, but i really enjoyed her portrayal in this. shes a pony who’s confident in who she is and what she was meant for, but in all the ways we as readers know is “wrong”, which makes applejack’s pain even more bitter to experience knowing rainbow doesnt need to throw her life away.
the ambiguity with the ending too is wonderful, tying all the way back to the start with the line about not being able to fly. i love me some ambiguity in storytelling and this hits all the right spots. again, fantastic work, and congrats on the well-deserved win!
Hello! Have a review. I'm not the first reader to feel this way, but I'm absolutely blown away that you wrote this in two hours. Spectacular world-building and a deeply memorable story in pretty much every respect. Thank you. Liked, faved, five-starred, the lot.
I just realized I never actually commented on this story, which is still awesomely heart-breaking the second time around. A well-earned win for Iron Author.
This one blew me away. A skillful mixture of MLP and Aztec mythology surrounding a dark and bittersweet story of two conflicting and irreconcilable loves--one of a pony, one of a god--was up there among the best short stories I've ever heard, pony or not. And I remember talking to you in person after you won... I was expecting someone who had done IRL work with mesoamerican lore or anthropology... and you had spent the first 30 minutes of the contest researching all the Aztec stuff!
Aztec mythology is both strangely horrifying to our modern sensibilities and absolutely, iron-cladly, consistent. The Aztecs truly believed that sacrifice of this kind was the only thing keeping their world from ending. It is wonderfully fertile ground for storytelling.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
I'm pretty sure the goddesses are screaming on both anger and frustration right now.
My interpretation of the ending:
The updraft of the hot volcano gave Rainbow the final push to figure out how to fly.
The ponies (including the High Priestess) were amazed, thinking the goddesses had returned the gift of flying.
Then they interpreted this event as the goddesses no longer wanting sacrifices, instead wanting the ponies to live happily together.
Rainbow Dash made the first step by becoming good friends with a lowly farmer named Applejack.
Cheesy, I know.
But whatever.
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
Especially the ambiguity of the ending was very well done.
But one thing I still don't understand:
What is this "Flower War" about?
A contest who is the best fighter?
Have a song about ponies doing happy rituals:
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The flower wars were an Aztec practice - from what I understand it was ritualised warfare between two nations or city-states where they all followed special rules, used less lethal weapons, and captured people from the enemy nation were often used as sacrifices. I adapted that into a more hunger games style thing where they're competing to become the sacrifice.
The Wikipedia page on it is pretty interesting:
link
I love the video
You can has review!
A super unique idea, if not exactly a happy one, but then again Aztec mythos wasn't exactly fluff and rainbows. Hearing you made this in two hours is pretty darn impressive.