Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #84 · 5:00pm Oct 16th, 2023
Some minor but important housekeeping this week: I finished adding the word counts of every reviewed story to the spreadsheet Archive. Somewhat annoyingly, despite double-checking the story lengths and accounting for the two de-listed stories (I’m sure my fellow Ponyfic reviewers will baulk that only two of 250 have been removed), the word count is still off of that in the Reviewed bookshelf here… by forty-nine words. 
Given Fimfic’s word counter is known to be imperfect (all those solo-chapter stories slightly off in length between the chapter and the story itself!), I’m chalking this up to slips that happen when adding up hundreds of stories.
This wasn’t just for personal satisfaction either: I’m thinking of doing some sort of roundup at the end of the year, to sort of cap off how the year went for Ghost Mike’s Ponyfic Review Monday Musings™ (👻). Mostly concentrated on rating averages, trivia like how many stories were rereads vs new, and so forth, but having those figures handy and ready will allow for extra delectable statistical goodness. I may or may not preempt it with one for 2022, given this is new and the series’ debut year never got its own spotlight. Will be interesting to see how they compare!
Though as a sneak peek, the average words reviewed per week is up 3K year-to-year. 
An especially good week to compare the two, as the series has had as many posts in 2023 as it did in all of 2022 (perils of starting in March then!).
Could also include a Top Ten, which wouldn’t be the same as just picking ten from the top two bookshelves, but the ten stories I most enjoyed. Not sure about how best to balance that, as such things can seem like they’re unfairly dunking on anything that didn’t make the cut, so I’ll mull on it.
Not much otherwise. Well past from the mild ailment during UKPC (if a little sniffy and susceptible to the cold weather as of late). Finally wrapped up Disney100 with the Frozen reissue, which… well, right from when I saw it opening weekend almost a decade ago, I’ve been pretty good at keeping the undying evergreen franchise at arm’s distance, looking at it as just a film. So even though I hadn’t seen the thing in… at least four years, not much in the way of a revelation here (I’d thoroughly analysed all the scars in the script from the late rework in its first few years), save that the film’s visuals have not held up as well as I’d thought.
Now, the lighting and effects remain exemplary, fully selling the cold winter in a way I physically felt. And the layout and composition really patch up all enough holes in the script for the key sister moments to work. But the texturing and surfaces, especially of clothes, is often very flat and plastic-y, the background humans move with the stiffness of mid-2000’s DreamWorks, and the character animation is, save some standout moments, largely just sufficient and rarely quite all the way there (Tangled and Wreck-It Ralph run country laps around it here). The film’s late-game reboot is felt beyond just the writing. It certainly did this screening minimal favours to come one week after the gorgeously squishy and expressive The Princess and the Frog. 
Alright, Ponyfic time. Slightly on the shorter side (cutting into that average-per-week lead over last year…!), though with what I’m holding in reserve for the near future, that should be a temporary bump in the road. Another solid roster too, which I’ll let speak for itself, par the course.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
And their spatter became the Alluring Light by Mica
To Be Remembered by MrSpartan
Rarity's Game of Cat and Mouse by TheOldPonyFromScene24
Flower Wars by Shaslan
The Muse of Fire by Lets Do This
Weekly Word Count: 30,764 Words
And their spatter became the Alluring Light by Mica
Genre: Dark/Tragedy (w/Gore, Death & Suicide/Self-Harm)
Zipp
1,001 Words
May 2022
Pegasi can’t fly, but they want to, so bad. Instinctively and desperately. Thus, their city is full of open-view elevators, wide balconies with sweeping views, arching bridges, the works. Less known is that there are safety nets everywhere, because it is inevitable that some pegasi will not be able to resist trying.
Despite Mica being quite reliable at short stories and at G5 fics – two of them, Mother-Daughter Date and Inheritance, (reviewed here and here), scored a Pretty Good – and this fic’s concept being interesting, the large amount of red warning tags still steered me away, until TCC56’s Recommendsday helped me give it a go. So, this is my assurance that they are used tastefully; the reader’s knowledge of what happens in the movie is tonally integrated effectively and gives enough hope to the proceedings that it’s not so depressing as to counteract the fic’s strengths.
And those strengths are pretty immaculate. Other stories have delved into what the need to fly has done to pegasi and their psyche over the years, but even granting the very narrator-exposition delivery to much of this, it’s such a obvious yet interesting expansion, not least for also showing how Zephyr Heights is on a mountain, and why the pegasi got so technologically advanced, right from the opening paragraph. Thus leaving the later material on how, even with this invisible safety precaution (itself having a justification for those who notice it that fits wonderfully), some ponies will go further still to be all the more poignant, as witnessed by a teenage Zipp.
Hits hard, deft balance of tones, great at telling lots of insightful lore upfront and leaving much more to the margins… it’s a real pity Mica didn’t submit this quasi-entry for the first Thousand Words Context (supposedly feeling there were too many submissions for the judges already…? Well, they did get over 160 to look through…), I’m sure it would have been a contender for placing. Here and now, I have no qualms about praising it.
Rating: Pretty Good
To Be Remembered by MrSpartan
Genre: Dark/Adventure/Sad (w/Human)
Twilight, Spike
9,542 Words
November 2012Reread
Listened to via Scribbler's reading
A chance encounter with an undocumented area of the badlands in her archives – one equally bereft of any info in all the backup books she checked thereafter – has sent Twilight, after clearing it with Celestia, on a reconnaissance mission to see what she can find. With only Spike for company, her head is filled with discoveries of a lost civilization, once they get through the barren, empty wasteland. She does indeed find that, but what she learns of it, and of its history and memory, is something she never could have expected.
Though hardly its most striking element, the thing that’s stuck with me the most upon this reread of the fic (my 3rd time), is how exquisite the characterisation and relationship between Twilight and Spike is. This isn’t a character arc fic, beyond a deeper sense of understanding and respect gained at the end of it all, and yet how they are portrayed warms me greatly. Twilight manages to be that rare instance of gentle and sweet yet unmistakably her unicorn self, with the feeling of her snark even though she doesn’t use it here. Meanwhile, Spike adores Twilight and would do anything for her, knows her well enough to pre-empt some actions she’ll ask of him, and so forth. More than that, they have known each other long enough as to be more naturally open, even before the place they reach starts unnerving them. Those ingredients probably don’t sound all that special, even combined, and yet somehow, the way MrSpartan has done them is exactly what I’d want and more from Twilight/Spike chemistry in that Pre-Season Three timeframe when the show was still young enough that we envisioned an organic growth from the best character depictions in the show.
That is, of course, the seasoning to a very effective atmosphere piece, one so powerful in its imagery and sense of place as to make not just genres I don’t gun for in my Pony fiction work wonders – Dark, Sad, even a touch of sci-fi – but even the dreaded Human tag. The sense of a vast place buried in time from long before written records took place never leaves the pair or us once they happen upon it, and all throughout the early browsing of empty streets, a desolate library, and discovering several strange artefacts not resembling anything in Equestrian civilization.
Eventually, of course, those Dark and Human tags start to have their effect, in the direction of a post-apocalyptic society. There are some bumpy narrative shortcuts to get there, not least the rather video game-y “trigger a vision by touching a select object” gambit (more than once), and I can imagine these aspects putting some off. They should for me, and yet once again, the style of the piece, very atmospheric without even losing the characters (the work on Twilight and Spike basically keeps this from being a Lost Cities Lite attempt, a comparison it would make a fair bash at but not quite meet) makes this work. So when it gets to the end result and takeaway, even though what it’s saying about human civilization and memory is not in the least bit original, it all lands very hard. And it ends quickly thereafter without prolonging the point (the best slow pieces usually do, I’ve found, as paradoxical as that sounds).
I think the fact I’ve listened to this three times over several years (I’ve drifted off using readings in the last year, yet this is one of those rare stories I cannot imagine divorced from Scribbler’s take on it), despite it being a story type I normally don’t go near, should say a lot about how effective and immersive it is. Its view count isn’t so high that I can call it a true fandom classic, but it’s one I feel absolutely holds up.
Rating: Excellent
Rarity's Game of Cat and Mouse by TheOldPonyFromScene24
Genre: Romance/Comedy/Slice of Life
Rarity, Applejack
2,779 Words
January 2014Reread
Listened to via TheLostNarrator's reading; as was the cover image in lieu of a lack of such on the story
Ever since she saw the look in Applejack’s eyes, Rarity knew what her friend wanted. Now she just has to find a way to make her admit it, for Rarity is beyond confessing herself. Cue a false pretence to get Applejack to pop by and a lot of flirting dialled way up.
This fic was written as a gift as a friend, which already tells us it will slot firmly into both ponies’ attraction for each other just being a thing with no real justification, buildup, or even hints as to what they like about the other. Not the worst problem, it is a romantic comedy, but it seems awfully subdued on that front, and while there is some humour to be had in Applejack blushing at Rarity’s advances and constantly excusing herself, such moments end up being the exception rather than the norm, leaving the bulk of it pleasantly anonymous.
I also found the prose rather unwieldy, prose to perspective changes and scene changes without breaks. Then there’s dropped threads and subplots, like Twilight’s curiosity at what’s going on from the outside, the victim of a focus narrowed to finish the thing quickly at the end.
A cute thing for Rarijack fans with a little amusing comedy, but never rises above that, so if you don’t carry a torch for this ship, the fic is just a slightly-above-average one from the pile.
Rating: Passable
Flower Wars by Shaslan
Genre: Dark (Alternate Universe, w/Death)
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Raven Inkwell
3,230 Words
August 2023
As the most beautiful pony born in a century in Canterlochtitlan, Rainbow Dash’s fate was sealed from the moment she was born. Now, it is finally time, under the watching eyes of their whole society – including the farmpony who loves her – for her to return the gift of her beauty to the gods, and be a sacrifice to them.
The knowledge that this won the Everfree Northwest Iron Author contest certainly gave it a reputation to live up to going in, but what truly raised the bar was the dozen-plus comments from notable Fimfiction users that praised it, and its reading at the event, as a truly transcendent experience (the latter apparently partially from all the pronunciation butchering of the Aztec flavouring in the proper nouns, granted). It would have been an absolute miracle for the fic to live up to that kind of hype, and it almost does.
What is without a doubt is the quality for something written in two hours (and 3.2K is not short to write in that timeframe!). This Aztec-flavoured AU manages to feel fleshed-out and hugely distinct just from details at the margins, which matters as little beyond the nature of this yearly sacrifice of beauty is the direct focus (among other things, magic isn’t a thing and there is a class system at work), and you feel so many things that are not even described proper, from the architecture of the temple as ponies walk up it to their doom to what, I’m sure, is a priest robe Raven wears as she carries out the rituals (in essence, the old “writer has a telepathy with the reader” quality). The fic even manages to use poetry as the breaks between the timeline-hopping scenes – poetry that is meant to be the chants during the sacrifices, I’m guessing – absolutely stellar.
This all may paint a picture of a lovely but rather stuffy and cold fic, and yet, within this world of religious duty trumphing all, it has a relatable human core, of duty against love, of internal respect against external respect, of what we want against what we believe. And the characters themselves fit their roles perfectly within the lens of this world shaping them: Applejack is slightly different as fits this AU and her class, more timid, but in a way that works. While Dash is rather different but still herself too (and a small role for Fluttershy is no different). All accomplished with hugely evocative imagery and vivid, flowing language. All leading to a perfect ending that has it all ways and manages to be all the better for it.
It’s all a really striking experience that is, even just to read, transcendent for quite a hefty chunk. I do feel a little underwhelmed off just that amount of hype it had going in, and I can’t in good conscience factor in the speedwriting restriction when evaluating it against all other fics, but it’s hard to imagine a more impressive fic given that limitation.
Rating: Really Good
The Muse of Fire by Lets Do This
Genre: Adventure/Comedy (Alternate Universe)
Spike, Twilight, Dragons, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie
14,212 Words
September 2023Sequel to Pinkie Pegasus – Reviewed here
A bit of exploring about in the space between worlds, wondering what’s in those beyond the domains of the three pony tribes, leads to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie discovering a world of fire and volcanic rock, inhabited by dragons. When they return with Twilight and Spike to check it out, a geographical survey soon descends into a tale of rescue when one of this world’s inhabitants sees these ponies as his ticket to glory. And then said rescue ends up bringing in a peek at the connecting history of all these varied worlds…
After Pinkie Pegasus delivered a solid if marginally disappointing third entry in Let Do This’ G4.5 ’Verse (come on, man, give me a proper title to work with here, the series’ debut work When Ponies Fly doesn’t really fit), largely off the mysticism, adventure and wonder that is one of the series’ chief selling points being largely absent, and also being in effect a setup story laying groundwork at the cost of cheapening the potentially interesting first-time meetup of many characters, this was a notable step back to basics, a dangerous adventure in this Verse’s equivalent of the Dragon Lands. Further universe setup is largely regulated to additional implications of events key to this story anyway, making it akin to an early adventure episode in FiM.
More importantly, the cast of core characters is contained enough for a story of this length, at only four of the Mane 7, so while there is still some squeezing and prioritisation (Pinkie and Rainbow basically vanish halfway through, and it’s perplexing we still have yet to have Applejack do more than marginal side business), it’s appropriate in the moment. Surprisingly, while the two featured dragons do end up being analogues to two from G4, their personalities and dispositions (and sizes!) are different enough that they mostly emerge as their own thing (and their designs evoke the Faust-style gargantuan dragons). And while the story is awfully dialogue-focused given the scenario (this series could really do with leaning into the adventure in a way beyond “talking heads” scene being the fallback), it does manage to have scope and scale beyond “volcanic wasteland full of lazy dragons”
Another issue of Let’s Do This does return towards the end, in his difficulty in ending stories; not just in the convenience and scope-shrinking solution reached, but in the story’s plot revealing itself to be a rework of “Gauntlet of Fire” into this universe; not a lazy one, as they go, but there is a difference between including the lore of the Dragon Lord and the Bloodstone Sceptre, and them playing largely the same roles in different but recognisable beats. More noticeably, Spike’s solution of maturity doesn’t work as well for an incarnation of him still this young and new to ponies, even if his dedication and trust-as-inherited-by-them is admirable.
On the other hand, even through that material, this story ends up being a strong showcase for both Twilight and Spike, and the former especially gets to react and adapt in ways specific and fitting to her earth pony inventor personality. And unlike the series’ second entry, No More Unicorns, that also had a weak final act, this one actually makes its recontextualisation of G4 lore work (especially the final scene). So while that story is stronger on the whole, off a first half at the series’ peak, this one isn’t too far off on balance. It doesn’t do much to indicate the series’ issues last time have faded, especially as regards more interconnecting being promised, but it has provided a more-than-satisfying entry on its own, with only quibbles as things go.
Rating: Pretty Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 1
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 0
Passable: 1
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Haven't heard of any of these, but a few have my attention now. Especially that Rainbow Dash story, if only for its uncommon-for-pony cultural setting.
I remember To Be Remembered! Great fic! Hmn... isn't that the library at Trinity College on the cover?*
I haven't read The Muse of Fire yet, but it's on my kindle. I quite enjoy the alt G5 series.
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* Yeah, I'm mostly face-blind, but I never forget a library.
5750820
Indeedy!
Honestly, I'm just chuffed it's not someone connecting it first to the Jedi Archives in Attack of the Clones that itself was designed after the library we've got, though if anyone would get it right, it'd be you, bud. 
I've never actually been inside myself, but I do absolutely mean to at some point. You ever been there, or were you speaking from photos you've seen? Is it a stop on your current tour, perchance?
You don't say…
[For whatever reason, I seem to remember nearly every fact you say in my comments of fics you have read or have on your shelf for the future. So I recall your prior praise for Let Do This' alt G5 series, here and on Louder Yay.]
5750805
Don't hesitate on it!
Even if I didn't love it as much as some others, it's an absolute keeper, and a must-read. And I say that in full awareness many one-shots I've adored have done less well with you once you've picked them up.
5750824
Oh sacred stars, I should hope not! (But I know how life-experience-by-popular-media-only people can be.
)
I visited Trinity about 12-13 years ago. It's very impressive and worth a look!
Fun bit o' trivia: I used a different Trinity library for reference for the cover of Daedalus Aegle's The Education of Clover the Clever; the one in Cambridge. (The black and white diagonal tile is a dead give-away.) Since his (unfortunately fictional) pony university is in Cambridle, I though it was fitting.
Very short comment thanks to the beloved Covid, but To Be Remembered will go on my list. Though I'll be reading rather than listening to it, so we'll see how that goes.
5750831
Obviously I can't comment on how it'll fare just to read (though you'll notice I've used audio readings a lot less this year than last year; this was truly an anomaly), and given some of the subject matter, I can see it not being a huge personal winner for you. Possibly low-four-to-high-three territory.
Good thing that's still well worth a read, eh?
5750830
Now that, I wouldn't have made the connection for, even despite seeing a (cropped) version of that cover on Daedalus' profile pic all the time.
Also, that's a refresher, reminding me that in your active days, you did a decent few cover arts for folks round here.
I'd seen the attributions in various long descriptions before, of course, but not for enough time such that it had faded into the bowels of my phantasmal brain. 
Good stuff!
5750837
If I like it enough to give it such a rating, then given its word count I'll feel it was time well spent. So that's actually fairly encouraging.
A couple really good fics in there, and good reviews thereof! :) Well done!
5750848
Technically only one of those.
Unless that includes rating tiers above too. 
In any case, it is probably fair to say my rating average has been stronger as of late, yep. I don't feel like I'm being more charitable, so I'll chalk it up to being better at picking out stories that will be properly promising to read. Still countered by stories to reread that have to get it regardless of how they look, but you can't win them all.
If I were a "read tons of Ponyfic!" type of reviewer, this narrowing/selection bias would be problematic. But as I'm not, in quantity or range of topics, this can only be a good thing. People want recommendations on lots of romance, EqG, horror/dark, and other stuff I only rarely touch, they can go to folks like yourself and your 6.8+K reviews across 11 years.
I've read "To Be Remembered," and it just did not do much for me. I liked the idea of it, but the execution needed something. I found it to have an unsteady perspective and rely on emotional telling, plus the premise struck me as odd, that either Celestia truly didn't know anything about this place and yet had never bothered to check it out in her centuries of opportunities, or that she did know what was there and deliberately sent Twilight unprepared into terrible danger. I couldn't buy either one. Plus they bother maintaining a train route literally nobody uses, and Twilight is inconsistent about recognizing something and later not knowing what the same thing is. Shame, because the idea was cool. It was a long time ago that I read it, though, not long after it was published. Maybe it's been revised since then? I don't know if there's a good way to tell that anymore. It used to update the publication date if you did, at least I think so.
5750851
My average ratings have actually gone up over the years due to being somewhat more charitable, but that's also because I kind of started off being an asshole about it. :B So not having to compensate for that is another good mark for you!