• Member Since 8th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 18th, 2016


I like to pretend that I know what I'm doing.


After some deep self-reflection, Rainbow Dash concludes that she is indeed a flaming homosexual.

Now she just has to tell her friends.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 145 )

I lol'ed at the chapter title

Fluttershy was really being a bitch in this story. :fluttercry:

Generic coming-out romance story. Would have been interesting if it had been funny. I won't downvote because the author seems pleasant enough.

After both of them gave Rainbow a hug and a kiss on the lips goodbye, they headed on their way

This. I don't know why. Just... This.

Really good first at attempt at comedy, I had myself a good chuckle, especially at Flutters disgusting attitude. That filly needs a smack upside the head.

Only slight gripe is the letter at the end felt a little generic and tacked on.

Otherwise, good fic! I'm glad I watched you~

This was beautiful.

4227639 :raritywink:

4227668 Not sure if you're joking or not, so I'll just nod my head ambiguously.

4227736 I figured it'd either be hit or miss, so I'm glad someone gave me their honest opinion on it. Thank you for reading!

4227771 Thank you! :twilightblush: I'll try and rework the letter to make it seem less forced.

4227787 Oh, I meant the letter felt out of sync with the rest of the fics comedic tone. I'm sure you're aware of this, but you wrote a parody of a very popular idea :twilightsmile: And it was good fun! However, "Twilight writes a bitchy letter" is also preeetty common, if you DO want to rejigger it a little, perhaps play off the ideas overexposure, parody that as well!

Buuuut, if you are thinking of rewriting any part of it, I do have one glaring suggestion.

Rarity and Applejack should sex. And Rarity should scream my name when she climaxes. Trust me, it's very meta, but I think that a lot of people will deeply appreciate the broad-appeal humor that is in no way self serving :scootangel:

Sun Buns going after Trixie? I smell a sequel...


I think i read this too fast... What the hell was that?

A hilarious story, I absolutely loved it! :yay:

But please understand me when I say I can't favorite it, for fear of what my parents might think if they see it in my favorites list. :ajsleepy:

Also, how rude of Fluttershy! How could she be so cruel?

You get a thumbs up for effort. I just wished you would have used a less cliche character and plot

4227993 You've explained your situation to me before, so I understand completely. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

4228047 >implying i put effort into this

:yay: I kid, though I did bang this out in only two hours (which is pretty short considering how slow I write). And if it means anything, being cliché was part of the story, since it was an attempted parody.

4228110 sorry. I misunderstood your intentions. Either way, my friends' stories get automatic thumbs ups from me :twilightsmile:

4228110 It was fun to read! Nothing quite like vigorous Frenching in a library. And it had Bonnie in it too, so I'm satisfied.

Fluttershy, you raging homophobe!

Wow, Fluttershy, just wow. Not cool. Go home and think about what you've said, young lady. Very disappointed.

You know what Fluttershy. You need to stop being so supportive. It's starting to hurt ponies

This felt surreal, but it was still pretty funny. Whether the letter at the end was generic or not, I liked it and Celestia's reaction. :pinkiesmile:

Fluttershy really needs to go think about how her actions hurt others for a very long time.

me: "Hey Flutterbitch!"

Fluttershy: "Ye...yes?"

me: "Cupcakes sequel starring Pinkie and you, time now. I'll show you how to be homophobic."

Fluttershy: :fluttershysad:

Randomly appearing Pinkie Pie: :pinkiesmile:

Seriously though, good story. It made me laugh. So keep it up.

4229194 Thank you very much!

It was like throwing plot at the wall and seeing what stuck, and made me laugh so hard so very hard. Good show.


It was like throwing plot at the wall and seeing what stuck.

Oh my god, you have no idea how accurate this is. :rainbowlaugh:

Fluttershy, how could you say such things?! You homophobic bitch! :twilightangry2: :ajbemused:

I don't know what's funnier
The story or the comments!

I have ONE complaint.
The part with Fluttershy made no sense. Absolutely none. What were you saying? What was the point? What was the joke at all, even? I don't know. I know it's supposed to be random, but mostly I'm just confused rather than entertained.

EDIT: Actually, here's an idea. Have her say things that could be confused by the others as being insults, like "I always sort of figured you were that way.", or "Even if it isn't quite normal, I'm here for you!". And tone down their reactions a bit.

4230239 The joke was that everyone accused her of being a homophobe when she actually said nothing wrong.

..... yeahokthenwhatever.

4230606 It's a joke. Lighten up, fifteen bemused Applejacks.

4230667 wait...So you're silly, joyful, emotional, disgusted, annoyed, suspicious, mysterious, cool, dizzy, crazy, excited, and happy all at the same time? *Brain explodes*

Also, where are all these cloned, disembodied pony heads coming from?!?!

That whole thing was hilarious XD

It's a mildly funny story, but there wasn't innuendo. You aren't alluding or hinting at sex anywhere in here, you are stating it.

This is almost genuinely good. I don't think it works as is honestly, at least not for me, but it is about 80% there it really is. Personally I'd cut the line about Elton John which is just wildly out-of-place for a non-Human tagged fic, cut the Fluttershy bit which while I can see what you were going for missed completely, tighten up a few of the other jokes and you've got something great here.

Leaving that aside Dash watching Lyra and Bonbon leave especially was laugh out loud funny so well done there.

Le Beginning: What a drama queen! :ajsmug:

Sure, she often daydreamed of holding Fluttershy's hoof in her own, or of cuddling Rarity while watching the sunset, or of vigorously frenching Twilight on the library floor with Spike watching. But that didn't mean she was gay, right?

vigorously frenching Twilight on the library floor with Spike watching. But that didn't mean she was gay

with Spike watching

Not sure if want. :moustache:

"Gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John in a bath house."

:rainbowderp:...This is it. You win for best Bon Bon line of eternity! :rainbowlaugh:

After a moment, the gears finally started turning in Rainbow's head. "...Huh. Y'know, I think I just might be gay after all."


"I really hope she's coming out of the closet this time," said Twilight. "I really, really want to vigorously french her on the library floor with Spike watching."

Spike repeatedly smashed his head into the wall. "Sweet Celestia, I hate all of you so much."

Ok...definitely don't want. :moustache: :rainbowlaugh:

Spike folded his arms over his chest and smirked, watching the two ponies viciously tug at each other's manes. "That's pretty hot."

Finally...Want. :moustache:

"Hey, Rainbow... do you... want to... get married?"


And then they had sex.


I have to say, this made me laugh with almost every single line. :rainbowlaugh: You're getting a follow for this! :heart:

4232876 Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! To be honest, I was worried that some of the story was a little too meta, but I'm glad it all worked out in the end.

4232897 Honestly, I didn't see any meta. :applejackunsure: I loved Spike in this, btw. I think you should do a Rarijack sequel to this. :rainbowlaugh: It would be hilarious. :yay:

4232916 I'll probably do a bonus chapter or something to tie up some loose ends, like the wedding(s) and that whole Celestia fiasco. But I'm super lazy though, so no promises. :rainbowlaugh:

My sides are officially the first human object to land on Pluto.

4232926 I'd be willing to help. :rainbowlaugh:

4232960 Be careful. I just might have to take you up on that offer. :rainbowkiss:

4232961 I'd be glad to, really. :rainbowkiss: We've got to have Celestia edo this at least once, though, no matter how cliche it is. :rainbowlaugh:


the next day Celestia made it elegel for rainbow maned pegasus mares and lavender unicorn mares to get maried. also shouldn't there be a [random] tag on this story, it just feels really random to me.

I lost my sanity, this whole thing here is purely priceless. Everything was just so cheesy and hilarious I couldn't stand a paragraph without laughing...

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!