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Sporktacles


I love sporks. And I love soup. Those two things unfortunately don't go together very well.

Sequels1



T

Sunset Shimmer loans Pinkie Pie a thumb drive.

Except that it's the wrong thumb drive. And that it contains exactly what you'd expect to find in the wrong thumb drive to loan away.

Rated Teen and Sex for discussions of pornography and self-love.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 170 )

HAHAHAHAHAHA! This was so funny!

oh gosh.

That song, that glorious song. best song it the fandom :rainbowlaugh:

Never before had Sunset considered how terrifying that cheerful grin could be.

With whipped cream and a cherry on top. :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Highlord Langslock deleted Apr 8th, 2016

7104414 Given that the idea of her specifically pointing out that she isn't attracted to earth horses might be enough to sooth him.

7104414

I won't discuss unrelated authors, but I do feel the need to point out that the story makes a distinction between real-world horses and Equestria Ponies.

In any case, the highlight of the story was definitely Pinkie feeling the need to sing about it. So horrible, yet so in-character.

“You know what this calls for?”

A Sequel?:pinkiecrazy:

brilliant

7104414 ...huh? Unless his reasoning has changed since the last time I saw him talk about it, his problem with those fics is mostly with the fact that human world horses aren't sapient. The issue isn't her being attracted to non-humans, but being attracted to non-sapient animals purely because of some basic similarities with Equestrian ponies. I haven't seen anything from him suggesting he has a problem with Sunset being attracted to her own species. So...yeah. Not really seeing any reason why he would have a problem with a story where she specifically points out that the two aren't the same thing, and that she's only attracted to her own kind.

Worth it just for the magazine title and song.

Someone do that song NOW!!!

kul
kul #14 · Apr 7th, 2016 · · 1 ·

7104414
ah who cares about him. Guy basically nitpick every detail that isnt in accordance of his grand scheme of supposed canon. I mean, who else argues about Equestria having wireless electircity but him?

BTW, Author, I really love this fic and how you'd keep it smut-free and as playful as ever! Thanks for writing this gem! I really likes your Sunset characterizations on this one and the previous one!

“-that I’m also a really huge fan of Fillyfoolers Fortnightly too. I have every issue.”
Having squeaked out the admission, Twilight hurriedly ran back through the portal.

Sunset, that is practically an invitation to tap that. I suggest you hop to it girl. :rainbowkiss::moustache:

It took her a few minutes to come to her senses and realize that she was standing in front of the school building with an unlocked case of pony porn magazines.
She left for home with immediate haste.

Only to find the contents of the magazines had been 'humanized' by the portal as well.

7104383 it should be a theme song for the fandom itself

Bruh, best comedy I ever read. Ain't never been boring. I'm looking forward to more!

“Uhh wait, why is an artist in this world drawing porn of a pony in Equestria? Is there some kind of cartoon show that happens to mirror the inhabitants of your home dimension?
Of course not, that’s ridiculous,” said Sunset dismissively. “There are tons of independent artists online who will draw whatever you want if you pay them. I have to be very specific in my description and check the preliminary sketches to make sure it looks right, but after a few years of doing this there are a few artists who are more or less used to what I am looking for.”

You should totally make an chapter in which one of Sunset contracted artist likes the images and decides to make an 'original' show with them. :pinkiecrazy:

Awesome work, loved it. :pinkiehappy:

7104777 Also, that's a rather odd time schedule for that magazine. Most magazines are released either weekly or monthly. A fortnight is two weeks, so it's either not enough material for weekly, or too much for monthly distribution.

Also, what's the equivalent? (Probably, being as there are less stallions in the world...Colt Cuddlers Quarterly.)

How'd you do that? The original and this sequel are both great and relevant, and you stay unabashedly on message! Once again, the tone of the story is perfect, as is your characterization of Pinkie. Dat song!

One error, though. Because of the way you are doing character attribution by paragraph, the three paragraphs indicated below (redacted to prevent spoilers) really should be one paragraph. Reading it, I read the first paragraph as Sunset, the second as Pinkie, and the third as Sunset and was momentarily confused.

Sunset snorted. “Pinkie, I can’t possibly ask...
A realization dawned on her....
“Oh my gosh, I think I can!”

This is why I have a label maker.

I'll be honest, I was reading and thinking 'meh'.

Then I got to the song part... Yeah... rather than potentially spoil things I'll just say this:

The song makes this story.

‘Sunset has found porn that she likes’ party

I kinda want to know what that kind of party entails, actually.

~Skeeter The Lurker

7104414

I'm actually a big fan of MythrilMoth's writing (the slice-of-life ones). I can't hope to ever be as good a writer as he/she is. But I hope that if he/she does come by and see my fic, he/she won't be too harsh when it comes to criticizing it.

Because I'm easily terrified and depressed. Please don't be too scary.

Speaking of MythrilMoth, if you like the song in the fic, I highly recommend BBBFFFHWIMC: The Hit Bridleway Musical which is way more hilarious than this.

7104549

I think my take on Sunset's sexuality is relatively unique. Most authors assume that Sunset is either fond of humans (because that is after all what enables them - and me - to ship her with another person) or fond of horses (because uh... you know what, like I said in the fic, whatever gets you through the night). But this is just a light-hearted take on what seems to me the most logical - if wet-blankety - result of a pastel pony turning into a human, and I don't of course mean for people to take it too seriously.

Not that there's a chance of that happening with that song in the fic.

7104979

I've modified the offending sentences slightly to make it a bit more clear who is talking.

horizon #26 · Apr 8th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Okay, I clicked through expecting some mindless featurebait, and what I found was a hysterical song about porn-positivity and straight-faced exchanges like this:

Pinkie thought for a moment and then frowned. “Uhh wait, why is an artist in this world drawing porn of a pony in Equestria? Is there some kind of cartoon show that happens to mirror the inhabitants of your home dimension?”

“Of course not, that’s ridiculous,” said Sunset dismissively.

Well done, author. Well done. It's always a pleasure finding that sort of unexpected depth and wit. :twilightsmile:

7104871
Yes, this.

7105098

I can't hope to ever be as good a writer as he/she is.

A humble word of advice: don't ever think that you can't be as good a writer as someone else; you'll just be putting up a wall in your own mind that you may not be able to get past. Simply focus on becoming a better author than you are at the moment. That's what I do.

Oh my god I'm dead. You've killed me. I'm dead. :rainbowlaugh: This was one of the funniest freaking things I've read in forever. I especially loved the song and the whole "plushies" thing.

7104414 Kindly don't speak for me, thanks. This story isn't even about zoophilia. This story actually makes sense and is clever and funny.

7104871 I was almost expecting that myself. :pinkiecrazy:

7105245

OMIGOSH MythrilMoth commented on my story! *squeeeeeeeeeeeee!*

7104871

Y'know what, I wish I'd thought of that when I wrote this, because it would've made for a way better ending.

7105265 Write it as an alternate ending maybe? :pinkiecrazy:

Apparently, coincidences happen in the world of Equestria Girls, and Princess Twilight happens to like the very same porn that Sunset does.

... What was the lesson either of them learnt, here?

7105287

Apparently, coincidences happen in the world of Equestria Girls, and Princess Twilight happens to like the very same porn that Sunset does.
... What was the lesson either of them learnt, here?

Don't discuss porn in front of the high school?

7105287 There was supposed to be a lesson in that? I thought we learned the lesson of "don't carry your porn drive at school and double check anything you give to someone else" and that the porn at the end was a bonus.

Also why would Princess Twilight learn a lesson?

7105265
This is a thing now?

Why wasn't I invited?

Bandwagoning commencing.

Prepare thyself.

Except that it's the wrong thumb drive. And that it contains exactly what you'd expect to find in the wrong thumb drive to loan away.

Your secret poetry writings that NO ONE must ever find or your image as the tough one is forever damaged?

...Um, I mean porn. Yea! PORN!! With lesbians and...big boobies and stuff.

...
...STAY AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!!!:twilightangry2:

Pinkie’s grin returned in full force. “That great! Does this mean you won’t have to pay for people to draw it for you any more?”

That's / That is


Great sequel to the last one btw, I really loved it!

7105673

Corrected, thanks!

This... makes me laugh. Very much.

The ending was too perfect.

pretty good

I do say, this was an elegant and most amusing tale. i rank it 10/10, good job national hero!
these are hilarious.

“Of course it is! That’s why I took the secret from my mouth and tied it inside a bag, and then locked the bag inside safe deposit box at a bank, and then hid the key and account information inside my purse!” declared Pinkie, repeating the exact same series of gestures.

Now I REALLY want to see her make those gestures. :pinkiesmile:

I've noticed a trend:
Why are there suddenly a lot of popular stories about human Sunset Shimmer and her porn/masturbation habits? like this is the fourth or fifth one I've seen in the past month or so

Hmmm.....Well that has to be the most awkward 2 days for sunset but the for us its the funniest fan fic about pony fetish'es ever.

Admittedly, I do not typically like stories like this, and initially clicked on it because it was short and featured.

Keyword there being "typically".

The Pinkie Pie Porn song was one of the most out of the blue yet in character things I have ever read, and by far one the funniest. That song left me laughing for a good 5 minutes. Amazing job. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh man this was pretty funny. Keep up the good work.

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/194/403/kamenriderw-facepalm_9086.jpg

(Partially) in jest. You see, I'm willing to accept that I'm... just not the target audience for this.

In retrospect, I should have known what I was getting into by the summary, but I saw your name attached to it (had to do a double-take when I saw it wasn't Mythrilmoth :P) so I got curious.

Really, though, I'm just very, very tired of seeing (counts on fingers) 2.5 years of Sunset being thrown into cheap "comedies" where she ends up in some sort of embarrassing (or worse) situation involving sex (or food, or anatomy, or whatever it is this week). To your credit, this is the only good one of these I've seen, well-written where Sunset actually ends up going through a vaguely sex-positive experience, and one where Sunset's fetish actually contains a modicum of believability, so, credit where credit's due--I can't outright despise this no matter how much I want to.

But yeah, the fatigue has long since set in, so I was still groaning and headdesking like crazy. Most notably during the Pinkie song. :P Ending got half a smile out of me though.

No downthumb from me, but just the same, I'm going to go ahead and back away and pretend I never saw this.

7106116

I would be interested in playing it in reverse, where Sunset is older than the others, so while they're all still awkward about sex, she's comfortable and confident with her sexuality.

Instead of not being attracted to any of the guys at school because they are human, she's not attracted to them because they're teenagers.

7106140

Instead of not being attracted to any of the guys at school because they are human, she's not attracted to them because they're teenagers.

Or because they're guys. :3

Anyway, I think the underlying issue is that the fundamental concept we're working with here (sex played for embarrassment comedy) is... not the soundest foundation for a story. The most readily available examples of this trope do nothing constructive for the character at all. They are resoundingly and exclusively for the benefit of parties beyond the fourth wall. No one learns from it, there's nothing empathetic or constructive about it in the end. Let's just laugh at (or get off on) the awkward suffering.

Thus, even playing it unconventionally, or as well as you can (which is what this fic does--it almost turns this concept into something approaching positive; for once we have the character who's awkward about a sex-charged situation but isn't shamed or worse for it--it's within the "we're cool with it" reactions of others that the comedic beats lie) is still just going to end up with a concept that's Slightly Less Unsound.

She left for home with immediate haste.

As long as she took the stuff with her then it should be good. Otherwise it'd be so incredibly awkward that I can't even :rainbowlaugh:

Well, but besides that, everything went better than expected!

I haven't read all the comments so maybe someone suggested this already but, wouldn't it suck if the portal transformed all her porn into the human equivelant?

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