• Member Since 25th Sep, 2011
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FanOfMostEverything


"You're some kind of mad genius, you know that?" —PresentPerfect

Sequels1

T
Source

Being friends with Pinkie Pie requires a certain kind of patience. She offers plentiful rewards in exchange... but sometimes those rewards are themselves the problem. After a prolifically provisioned practice session, the two most calorie-conscious members of the Rainbooms decide they've had enough.

Sunset just wants to know how she got roped into the madness.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 67 )

I skimmed through because I thought the condition of the bet was going to be something REALLY embarrassing for Dash, and I'm glad that wasn't the case.

Now to add it to my read later list so I can properly go through the whole thing at another time

Comment posted by PhycoKrusk deleted June 16th

9682781
Dude, spoilers. And yes, I am proud of myself.

Yyyyyyyyyyou smartass.

Well played.

~Skeeter The Lurker

That was a fun story :moustache:

Poor Sunset. Dealing with Pinkie can be... stressful. :pinkiehappy:

Very fun story and you really made great use of both Pinkie bouncing off each other. Sunset stressing out and keeping all the rage in check was really in characters. You should really do a sequel about Sunset hunting down all of those who did go to Equestria for dangerous magical contraband and if they didn't do anything to... weird/dangerous/potentially criminal.

Worst offenders: Trixie, Flash, Octavia and Scootaloo.

Sunset shook her head. "I was her taste tester. Finding the right balance of heat and other flavors wasn't easy, but it was filling."

Little angry spirits tearing at your intestine. Fun picture. Nice little touch to have the ghosts wailing has they exit the "portal". Sunset is of course joining them in the chorus.

9682782
Whoops.

Well, I guess it’s kind of like falling off the roof: We all do it at least once.

"Gah!" Twilight flinched enough that she had to snare her thrown pencil in her telekinesis to reel it back. "Ahem, sorry. Planning out a potential experiment. Pinkie's good at baking." She gave Sunset a smile too eager to be called sane. "On a completely unrelated note, how would you describe the differences between pony and human metabolisms?"

Note to self: eating while reading your stories is a great way to choke laughing.

Pinkie shook her head, smirking smugly. "Don't you worry your condiment-colored head, my little parolee. Auntie Pinkie has it aaaaall figured out."

At least this time I swallowed before 'my little parolee' made me bust a gut.

Pinkie turned back to her with a concerned frown. "Wait, you didn't know? Trixie buys a cartload of probably legal fireworks from herself every week."

That makes so much sense it might as well be canon.

That twitch started up again. "Banish it to the moon, did you know about this?"

I'm gonna have to start using that cuss in my own writing.

"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred." Sunset, who'd been lifting her friend-shaped weight up and down the whole time, blinked and said, "Huh? Oh, sure, sorry."

My brother used to do this kind of thing to me. And that entire Pinkie(s) conversation was great.

Applejack's face went through a full emotional journey as they approached: Recognition, anticipation, confusion, and finally acceptance. "Howdy, Pinkie. And, uh, Pinkie."

:applejackunsure: Wise choice.

One Pinkie flexed her mane—long association kept Sunset from thinking about that too hard—and produced a baseball cap that read "If Lost, Return to Sunset Shimmer." "How's this?"

:rainbowlaugh:

All three took in the offered items. "Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

They're Pinkie and the Pie, Pinkie and the Pie, one is a human, and AJ asked why!
If they conquered the world, insanity would rule!
They're Pinkie, Pinkie and the Pie Pie Pie Pie...

At that moment, horrific wailing echoed out from Goldie Delicious's cabin. Shrieks like the rent souls of the damned melded with a vocie that, while still alive, clearly didn't wish to be.

Typo. Also, Sunset, I been there. :ajsleepy:

As for that ending... you cheeky so-and-so.

As usual, you do not disappoint!

9682898
Given the nature of the story, I'm going to have to ask you to spoil that last quote. Glad you enjoyed it and didn't choke to death while doing so!

*Starts reading* Well this is kind of fun. And funny.

*Reaches end*...

I am so mad at you right now. I feel so betrayed.

Still, it's a fun story. Very entertaining.

...You son of a bitch.

I think you could hear my sigh at the end there halfway across England. The story was a lot of fun though

I only suspected right before the reveal that this was a feghoot. Good work.

...I was VERY tempted to give a Negative for that HORRIBLE pun at the end...but the story was too much fun for that.

Definitely a good story! I also wasn't expecting that part with the Ghost Peppers!!

I have always thought that there should be more about Pinkie's cooking outside of baking and I do think she should be good at it.

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Choking to death while reading. Heck of a police report.

FOME, you magnificent bastard, you got me but good. Though, now I really need to know more about these Equestrian ghost peppers. And possibly Sunset’s metabolism. At any rate, good job.

I. Have. No. Words. :pinkiecrazy:

She could have just tried doing stuff with dark chocolate (as in, chocolate without sugar). That's quite good, actually.

And some Mexican mole sauces include dark chocolate, too.:twilightsmile:

So, lots of thoughts on this one, all of which are good, but let's list some of them in order:

"noodle-tipped monkey limbs" is absolutely perfect and considering your Sunset I'm going to just presume she would and has called them that out loud to her friends.

Sunset should be glad that she hasn't yet had to see or hear about tour guide Pinkie leading a group of Pinkies around CHS.

I wonder how often they've done that fast-talking routine, gone home and only remembered an hour later that they're the other Pinkie.

I couldn't help but imagine AJ going through the other full emotional journey, too. 'That's not two Pinkie's I'm seeing, I just grabbed the wrong cider this morning. Who's fault is it this time?! I'll buy pears for lunch if that's just Fluttershy in a really realistic Pinkie suit. Either my sanity or my sales stock are not going to survive the next five minutes...' "Howdy, Pinkie. And Pinkie."

Yes, I imagine "...why even stay there?" is a preferable phrase-you-keep-hearing compared to "...raging she-demon. No offense."

Well, we all know that if you go to live in the human world taking along some gemstones and gold coins is the easy way to secure yourself a comfortable living, but who ever remembers that the key for doing it the other way round is finding yourself a cherry dealer? Also, does that mean Applejack went undercover in a criminal organization in "The Last Roundup"? Does she have ties to the Equestrian underworld now?

Why was the Sunset so smart? Because she had to take the part of two Brains.

The concert might have been for an audience that had more cats than humans.

Considering one of the band members is Fluttershy and the concert was at an Apple-family-related event, that comparison really gives just about no actual indication of the crowd size.

Considering Pinkie's geode power, are there any thoughts on explosion-based reheating Twilight could have that Pinkie hasn't already put to practice?

All in all another wonderful story with the kind of witty writing we expect and love from you. Also you should be ashamed of that pun at the end but that's just a given. :derpytongue2:

"Made by earth ponies."

And Mr. and Mrs. Cake sue you for racial slander.

or are you gonna face the consequences?"

What are those? You never agreed on anything.

I don't get what happened with Sunset. And why it doesn't happened with the other rainbooms.

9683284

I think the notion is that there are multiple old ladies at the concert, and they've all brought their cats with them.

Oh my God, this is epic :3 And FUN :heart:

Ghost Peppers are too cute to eat ;-;

Fluttershy nodded. No one else could tell who she agreed with, or if she was just listening to the woodlice in the walls again.

This one. This is the best line.

9683284
How does one cook with explosions?

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Eating from several different batches of chili is sure to cause your bowels some distress. Spicy foods tend to do that, which is why it's usually a joke for things like Mexican or Indian food.

And Sunset has had time to digest the food, she had the samples at least the day prior. The others will probably be feeling it within a day or so.

I was seriously expecting someone to make like Twilight did in the very first episode with the hot sauce.

9683315
...So Pinkie makes a comment that Equestria cooking taste better when made by earth ponies, which Sunset agrees with, and The Cakes -- who are earth pony bakers -- are going to sue them for it not being true?

9683453
Must have misread that, I thought Sunset was saying it as a negative.

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I did try to leave some subtle warnings, like the memey chapter title and cover image. Little hints that this story lies under the shadow of a certain someone's webbed wings.

9682820
On some organs more than others.

9682859
Interesting choices for the worst offenders. Trixie's established in-story, and Flash's reasons for visiting Equestria live in the portal facility, but I have to wonder about the other two. And it leads into the question of how the portal affects Scootaloo's age, since she may be older than her equine analogue...

9682967
There's no need to bring my mother into this. This was all me. Also see the top of this comment.

9683108
Oh, Pinkie's a natural in the kitchen. She was just operating far outside of her comfort zone, and bet or no bet, she would accept nothing less than the best for her friends.

9683184
Rumors that every ghost pepper contains a restless soul are entirely baseless. It's only one per plant. You don't even need to kill anyone to get a seed to germinate; it's a natural form of reincarnation. Just not a very pleasant one. This is what happens when seed collectors harvest from around the gates of Tartarus.

As for Sunset, her body still expects an amount of carbohydrates that non-Pinkie humans would find ludicrous. She also can't believe she's allowed to buy instant ramen and not alcohol; she gets a longer-lasting buzz out of the former than the latter. (I just decided that now, but there's definitely a story idea to be had there...)

9683252
As Pinkie noted, she did work some cacao powder into the chili.

9683320

What are those? You never agreed on anything.

The stakes were clearly stated: If Pinkie loses, she doesn't get to complain when Dash and Rarity opt out of future taste tests. If she wins, they have to try those triple-citrus bars. (:pinkiehappy: "Lime, lemon, and blood orange!")
Not very high stakes, but they matter to Pinkie.

9683397
Simple: You slow down the explosion. By staying in contact with the chili, Pinkie was able to mediate the reaction and release the energy more gradually. The popping lid was pure showmanship.

9683284

"noodle-tipped monkey limbs" is absolutely perfect and considering your Sunset I'm going to just presume she would and has called them that out loud to her friends.

It came up most often back when she was dating Flash and using him to vent her frustrations about the human world. The phrases "techno-barbaric ape-things," "magicless wasteland," and "self-righteous sun nag" also cropped up with some frequency.
Flash still considers Sunset one of his best sources for song lyrics.

I wonder how often they've done that fast-talking routine, gone home and only remembered an hour later that they're the other Pinkie.

Both occasionally worry they've forgotten which Pinkie they really are.

Yes, I imagine "...why even stay there?" is a preferable phrase-you-keep-hearing compared to "...raging she-demon. No offense."

With the former, Sunset just has to smile and think of the Internet. And human Twilight.

Well, we all know that if you go to live in the human world taking along some gemstones and gold coins is the easy way to secure yourself a comfortable living, but who ever remembers that the key for doing it the other way round is finding yourself a cherry dealer? Also, does that mean Applejack went undercover in a criminal organization in "The Last Roundup"? Does she have ties to the Equestrian underworld now?

Despite all rumors to the contrary, Cherry Jubilee does not own Dodge Junction.
Cherry Jubilee is Dodge Junction.

Why was the Sunset so smart? Because she had to take the part of two Brains.

Narf.

Considering Pinkie's geode power, are there any thoughts on explosion-based reheating Twilight could have that Pinkie hasn't already put to practice?

Twilight never stopped to wonder if Pinkie could induce other exothermic reactions until that point. Heck, I'm not sure if Pinkie stopped to wonder if Pinkie could induce other exothermic reactions until that point. As I've said in the past, it's a very good thing that that girl's taking chemistry classes. For everyone else's sake at least as much as hers.

So...who ARE they gonna call?

Also, those peppers make me ask QUESTIONS.

And I'm now imagining an Equestria Girls version of this, just hopefully with a more... dignified origin.

But yes, that was sneaky and terrible. Really had me going. Good work.

9683540
Or they might have to deal with something akin to The Golgothan from 1998's Dogma

9683511
So... the spirit of the plant is actually spawning multiple instances of itself in each of it's seeds then. Or they summon more restless souls for more plants by default and are released when the seeds are destroyed by digestion. Oh dear.

Dodge Junction has only one rule. Don't. Buck. With Jubilee.

It's also good she's Laughter, the harmony mixed in makes any explosions far more harmless and slapstick than they have any right to be. Hopefully she never learns and decides to turn off 'stun mode'.

I've had the image for a long time of Pinkie using Twizzlers as fuse or det cord and fudge as plastic explosives for shaped charge purposes.

9682898

All three took in the offered items. "Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

'They're Pinkie and the Pie, Pinkie and the Pie, one is a human, and AJ asked why!
If they conquered the world, insanity would rule!
They're Pinkie, Pinkie and the Pie Pie Pie Pie...'
Now that's going to be stuck in my head for a while!:pinkiehappy:

9683511
Ironically for me; I had chili for dinner tonight before reading this

The sound of a cleared throat made them turn to a nearby stall. "Ladies," the vendor said from behind his wares, "I believe I may be of assistance."

If I had to guess...peppers. And btw, this story is FREAKIN’ HILARIOUS!!!

"Sorry, can't talk, delivering a comeuppance!"

I cracked up soooo much here.

"I still have a pony metabolism," said Sunset. "I don't know what Pinkie's excuse is."

...That raises a lot more questions than it answers, I think.

Cute story, always nice to see you writing again.

9683920
That tends to happen around Pinkie(s).

With the new EqG Choose Your Own Ending short, I enjoyed it even more as it fits a lot about Sunset's condition in the end x)

Niiice! Great use of two Pinkies!

Have we seen Cheese Sandwich as EQG Human? ... Oh, I guess you're using him as EQG!"Weird Al" Yankovic... Shipping EQG!CheesePie seems like it might have age gaps. Hmm...

Something new to say... Ah! "How did the triple citrus bars go?"

And will Pinkie continue to diversify her culinary offerings?

Plus, introducing the products of digesting ghost peppers into the Earth world, does anything?

9683511

Are there more pleasant forms of plant-based reincarnation? *shrugs*

----

Typo?

a Canterlot filly like she didn't know

a Canterlot filly like her didn't know

"Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Pinkie, but would she still be called Countess Coloratura if she were filmed in black and white?"

You magnificent so-and-so.

Astonishingly - or maybe not - this actually isn't the only feghoot on FimFiction with that punchline. I guess that's what you get for going for a tightly-constrained Spoonerism: risk that someone else might have done it too!

I love the amount of incidental comedy you have scattered through this. The closing pun itself felt less justified than the other fic I've seen that used it, but the journey was still delightful to get here. Thank you.

The two Pinkies played well off of each other, and the reactions to the two were just as funny. :pinkiehappy:

"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred." Sunset, who'd been lifting her friend-shaped weight up and down the whole time, blinked and said, "Huh? Oh, sure, sorry."

...I can picture the scene in my head, it'd make for a great visual gag. :rainbowlaugh:

Creepy cherry cartels

So... Cherry Berry is the estranged daughter (or other relative) of a mafia boss. Explains how she could go deal with Chrysalis so easily when she became the lead astromare of their space program. :derpytongue2:

"I am going to make you an offer you... can't refuse."

"For the last time, no, dad. I'm going back to space."

"Got back from where, exactly?" said Applejack, one eyebrow cocked and ready to fire.

Sunset met her eyes and, unblinking, said, "From the farmers' market where we got some of the ingredients."

Technically completely true. She just neglected to mention it was a farmer's market in another dimension. :raritywink:

"Ghost peppers, you said." [...] "On Sunset's still Equestrian metabolism."

...Is there a horse biology related joke here? I... don't get it? :rainbowhuh:

I mean, if they're selling them in Equestria, they must be made for pony-stomachs to handle, so... wouldn't Sunset have reacted the same in her unicorn-form? But shouldn't those come with a hazard warning then? Who'd be selling that sorta thing in a pony-town? :derpyderp1:

Also, should I be concerned about what, or who those obviously haunted ghost chilly peppers used to be? :rainbowderp:

"Yeah. A herd in the band is worth boo in the tush."

"herd" But... there isn't any romance here...? :rainbowhuh:

I get it's a pun, and I vaguely remember having heard an expression once or twice ending with "... in the tush" (which I am not particularly inclined to go googling for), but I'm afraid the joke is lost on me, sorry. :facehoof:

9683568

So... the spirit of the plant is actually spawning multiple instances of itself in each of it's seeds then. Or they summon more restless souls for more plants by default and are released when the seeds are destroyed by digestion. Oh dear.

Don't worry; those were just the ghosts of dead intestinal flora. They're just being dramatic about it.

I've had the image for a long time of Pinkie using Twizzlers as fuse or det cord and fudge as plastic explosives for shaped charge purposes.

:pinkiecrazy: "The outer shell is a conventional shaped charge of peanut butter fudge. However, the implosion brings together two subcritical pieces of sour blue rock candy to initiate the chain reaction."
:twilightoops: "I don't how I got into this conversation and I would very much like to leave."

9683910
Comeuppance is a lovely word, as Pinkie has demonstrated in the comics.

9683920
Many questions about transformed Equestrian horgans remain unanswered. Twilight is, of course, working to correct that. For science.

9684329
This particular Cheese Sandwich could be Weird Al, or he could just be a popular comedy-music EweTuber. I deliberately left it vague.

As for the potential typo, I had think carefully about that myself, but you wouldn't say "Maybe that was how it worked and her didn't know."

9684527
Link? I definitely want to read that story now.

9685155
"Herd" was meant solely in the sense of "group of people with horse magic." No polyamory intended.

9684527

9685307

Story seems to be "The Minuette-ventures of Twilight Sparkle", last chapter?

From Google?

----

"A Canterlot filly like her", is using "her" / "she", differently from "she didn't know"?

9685364
Yeah, that's right. I had been avoiding mentioning it by name because, y'know, it seems somewhat bad form to mention a feghoot by its punchline. Spoilers or something. But yes, you're correct: Here's the link.

And in case my last comment came across too negatively, I just wanted to reiterate how much fun it was seeing the two Pinkies bounce off each other, with Sunset as the perfect long-suffering straight mare. I'm still grinning now.

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