• Member Since 10th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Sporktacles


I love sporks. And I love soup. Those two things unfortunately don't go together very well.

Sequels1



T

It turns out that Sunset Shimmer's final letters to Princess Celestia before her exile were not filled with resentment or remorse.

There might have been a lot more frantic running away involved.

But whatever the case, it was definitely not Sunset's fault.

At all.



Cover Art designed by Novel-Idea from my original cruddy screencap!

Rated Teen and Sex for mentions of egregious sexual irresponsibility. No actual sex.

Contains minor Sunlight shipping. Much apologies.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 126 )

This is delightful. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm dying, son. This is hilarious.

Sunset's probably the only pony in history to be able to claim to have deflowered two alicorns :pinkiegasp:

In the Crystal Empire War alternate timeline, after Equestria beats Sombra, Sunset is probably recalled from the human world to become Celestia's Minister of Repopulation. Sunset then promptly achieves her target numbers by setting up another orgy :pinkiecrazy:

Yeah, this is probably the most insane (and hilarious :rainbowlaugh: ) reason for Sunset's exile I've ever read. Now just need to retcon things slightly so that instead of wanting to ascend, Sunset wanted Twilight's crown so that she could either a) travel back in time and prevent that horrible night from happening or b) figure out how to make more alicorns because of her fetish. But since she ended up dating Twilight (yay, Sunlight pairing!), things worked out anyway.

ROFLMAO :rainbowlaugh:

Sex, drug and rock 'n'roll alcohol. Best way to party and cause chaos.

I press the 'up' button. The number jumps from 18 to 31. I nod in approval.

I hear the moon is lovely this time of year

What did I just read? :twilightoops:

Welp, this was an exercise in escalation. Ridiculous, risque, and funny; well done!

7721898 Not subtle story on how Cadance and Shining hooked up. With Sunset's help. She helped quiet a bit. What what what, butt butt butt. Also the history of the best, epic party in Equestria. Rated XXX. Plus, Twlight needs to learn to chill. Oh, and Sunset and Twilight are dating for some reason. Neat.

This was a lovely look into just how drugs and alcohol can result in shenanigans, and I loved reading every last bit of it. Even laughed out loud from time to time.

From the description, I thought it was going to be something like this:

with Sunset fleeing after an incredibly raunchy confession via drunkenly mistaking her magic journal with her diary.

7722058 That was a Rhetorical Question.

The title isn't wrong. This is fucking amazing:rainbowlaugh:

B D

:rainbowlaugh: PHHHBBBTTT BWAAAAHHHAHHHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH!!!!
My exact reaction to this story.

This story was so utterly hilarious I think I might no longer be medically capable of laughing ever again.

7722175 My mistake. Never was good in English. Guess had a bad thought processes which lead to a bad decision.

Oh god yes! This story was so hilarious! Will there be a sequel? Please let there be a sequel!

"Do you have some kind of alicorn deflowering fetish or something?!"

Don't we all...

Okay, I know I really screwed up. It turns out that well, when you put an enormous amount of completely addled-out-of-their wits teenagers together in a giant party where piles of crazy things are happening, sooner or later somepony starts losing their inhibitions, and then a lot of others join in, and then before you know it…

Sunset, are you telling me that there was an orgy right in my palace gardens?

I’m telling you that the Canterlot press might be printing an article about how nearly a thousand civil servants and teenagers broke the record for “largest orgy” right in the palace gardens.

*DIES LAUGHING*

Oh my God. :rainbowlaugh:

You have no idea how much I needed to laugh myself silly right now. You just have no idea. I am dying from laughter right now and thank you for everything ABOUT this story.

“Look, maybe you were too drunk and stoned to remember, but what Shining Armor… look, I’m not sure Twilight really wants to know, but the kind of thing he was into really couldn’t result in pregnancy, okay?”

“Oh!” Cadance nodded in understading. “Oh yeah, he’s always been really into that. When we were trying for Flurry Heart I had to get him to-”

*SPITTAKE* And you just upped the ante OH MY GOD :rainbowlaugh:

Can't breathe...

7722143 I was expecting her to lean on the fourth wall or outrigth break it and blame it on being the writers' fault. Or it being a necessary drama or something similar.

But what do you know, sometime I'm glad to be wrong.

Dis was epic.
Love Sunset

Invite me to this party please. I wanna get with sunny

I am so utterly disappointed in myself for having enjoyed this.

Ugh. Just take your damned upvote and fave and get out of my face.

If I had one nitpick, it's that this story ends rather abruptly--literally in the middle of a conversation. The car is cruising, then a bottomless cliff teleports directly into its path out of nowhere.

One must build bridges for such things. :twilightsmile:

Do it again Sunset. Say, in some kind of uh. 'Sequel'

Wanderer D
Moderator

This was pretty funny, thanks!

Holy cow, I wake up and there's like 150 notifications.

7722683

Omigosh a moderator has commented on one of my stories! WOO!

7722662

I have a very unfortunate habit of doing this in my more random stories. I always go with an ending with a sudden high dropoff rather than a satisfying conclusion.

Also, wow Bookish, you're back! Haven't seen you around much!

More please

7722787

Been busy. Check my blogs--story's too long for me to go over it a seventh time. :3

Someone needs to write a story about Sunset ending up deflowering Flurry Heart in the future by some more bad decisions.

EDIT: FAR ENOUGH IN THE FUTURE SHE'S OF THE AGE OF CONSENT.

I kind of thought given how wholesome Sporktacles' stuff is, this would be obvious :facehoof: /END EDIT

Stories about drugs and alcohol normally bore me but Sunset and Cadance are so adorable in this one :yay: :pinkiesmile:

7722816 ...What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

Well, that was delightfully insane. Headcanon considered at the very least. I'm sure I can find one or two worldlines where it will slot in nicely. Thank you for this. :twilightsmile:

And I guess I really should have figured out that if all of CGSU finds out I’m holding a party in the palace, they might all want to come.

Celestia's Gifted School for Unicorns?

Such delightful escalation. Thanks, I needed this. :twilightsmile:

7722883 When Flurry Heart's of the age of consent. I see I was over optimistic thinking that was obvious. That given, what is your issue?

EDIT: I hope for the sake of consistency you are equally venemous toward anyone who suggests burlesque or clop about aged up CMC, DT/SP or other young ponies in the series.

"You should totally do it again!" ranks slightly behind "Hold my beer and watch this!" for phrases which immediately end in either tragedy or comedy, depending on how much time has passed since the event.

7722883 evidently, all the best things

7723067

I chose to interpret your original post as "Sunset Shimmer gets royally drunk again, time-travels into the future and accidentally seduces an adult Flurry Heart".

I think this is quite telling about how weird my train of thought normally is.

7723083 See, I knew you could come up with something zany like that :pinkiesmile:

I had only the vaguest idea of something involving a reformed-but-borderline-backsliding-Chrysalis and a very badly awry "birds and the bees" talk, not nearly as good as that :twilightblush:

I guess this has Pony twilight x Sunset right? I'll pass, thanks anyway...

7722883 I imagine he means in the future as in "when she's of legal age".
Else I'm fully with you.

My sides, they became astronauts. They're still up there. Can we has sequels, please? :yay:

You know, reading things like this, I'm almost thinking you'd be the writer to take up the mantle of "Hail to the King" if Qwapdo's dropped it.

I wish this party was real, i want to come. This was hilarious :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh: I hope for a sequel:pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

TDR

This was way more amusing than i thought it was going to be from the title. I wonder what Cheese and Pinkie would say if they knew Sunset was the cause of that party of legend?

I choose to believe this happened in the same continuity as 'Who's Your Daddy?':raritywink:

like maybe the nicest pony in Equestria having a total emotional meltdown right in the middle of the gardens within the next ten years.

I very much like this theory and I’m stealing it. :)

7723835

I would like to point out that Discord escapes literally the very next episode after the Gala.

7723919 Wasn't that because of the CMC's arguing though?

7723956

Oh yes, if you accept that an event as common as a handful of foals having an argument is alone capable of freeing Discord.

Edit: To clarify, there isn't anything wrong with that. It's a children's show after all. But there's a part of me that thinks it would be somewhat poetic if Fluttershy of all ponies was inadvertently responsible for Discord's escape.

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