• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 30th, 2019

adcoon


Comments ( 54 )
Spacecowboy
Moderator

What the fuck?

So is Luna reborn the next night magically?

You know, as much as the rational part of my mind screamed don't read this... my curiosity won out.

This... wasn't nearly as graphic as i expected it to be. Though i still say that Luna's actually just fine, and reforms a new body in the morning.

Edit- Faved and thumbed. I'm not normally one for a graphic fic, but this surprised me as well as it was written.

3261873
Glad you gave it a shot and liked it :twilightsmile: It's easy to get the wrong impression.

I just have one word left to utter after reading this: dafuckingfuq?

3261748 Oh, hey, someone posted what I was going to say already!

Also, +1.

This is absurd. I find absurdity hilarious. I am thoroughly amused by this thoroughly grim fiction. I am going to have to applaud you, sir!

Though spacecowboy's reaction makes it even better.

3262743
Thanks. So long as people find it hilariously absurd, then I have succeeded :twilightsmile:

Well.

That was... A thing. That happened...!

Points for Fluttershy's portrail, and for the whole "cultural vegetarianism as opposed to to biological herbivorism" which as you know I subscribe to... And for novelty.

Granted, if were it not you and you;d not mentioned it on (our local) ponythread, I'd probably have skipped this had I seen it.

You have a bit of a thing for making ponies eat strange stuff, don't you...!

Book and now cannibalism... what next?

No, seriously, that wasn't a rhetorical question.

3262797

Book and now cannibalism... what next?

Snails? Yeah, I do seem to write about ponies eating stuff more than a little bit. I don't honestly know why

:pinkiesick::pinkiesick:? NNNNNNNOOOOOO NOT LUNA BWHAWWWWWW :fluttercry:THERE IS NO GOD BWHAWWWWWWWW:fluttercry:why?...............

3261801

she wouldn’t be able to restore this tradition and make this sacrifice for Equestria

restore this tradition

restore

I, to the last moment, expected Celestia casually mentioning that her faithful student is going to be the next.

Although the topic you chose is interesting (consenting infinite source of meat -- I'll take a bucket of Phoenix wings), I was expecting more humor to offset the horror of cannibalism.

I can't enjoy it as a humorous piece because the antics are overshadowed by the act they intend to perform.
I can't enjoy it as a work of existential horror because of the antics and because Luna started it.

I seriously though that this was all a ''resurrection mumbo jumbo'' things....that was not....

That was one of the most fucked up thing I readed...and I read a lot!

I read it, re-read it, and then I knew for sure it was a fucked up piece of literature, adcoon-brand. Thank you for removing my ability to think straight entirely.


You sir, are a deranged and maniacal genius of words.:rainbowdetermined2:

This was actually really interesting. Not at all what I expected. And in a good way. Well done.

If it had been anyone else writing, I wouldn't have even bothered opening it.

After reading, my mind is caught between the desire to run screaming into the night and the need to simply sit here and wonder what I just read. Confusion, disgust, and horror mingle with admiration.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go figure out how to feel about this.

ICN

There didn't really seem to be a plot to me. I found it very similar to Painted Jack, where a pony decides to do something, and then does it. Other ponies raise some objections which are gotten over immediately. At the heart* of the matter, it just didn't have any conflict. I never have been all that fond of slice of life so it's possible that it's a genre convention that I'm not familiar with. Other than that, your writing style was smooth and flowed easily. All in all it was a strange and mildly disorienting fic, but I kind of get the feeling that that's what you were going for.

*Dibs! :twilightsmile:

Well, this is a thing I can now say I experienced! I wonder, though... what would happen if a bone was broken or the wild wolves denied their share? It's pretty much a given that Luna will be reincarnated (somehow) if the princesses are not lying about it being an ancient tradition, but if the ritual is not performed correctly...? Hrm... That certainly is a lot of trust!

3284425

what would happen if a bone was broken

i'd imagine that it'd be somewhat similar to the story about Thor's goats, where he ate them every night and resurrected them every morning, but he spent one night at a peasant's farm and shared with them his goat meal and one of the children broke a leg bone to suck out the marrow resulting in the lameness of one of the goats upon resurrection.

so yeah, a *huge* amount of trust involved :twilightsmile:

is it okay if I use this tradition in some of my stories?

3480265
Sure. I'm always happy when people like my ideas enough to use them :pinkiesmile:

this was damn good, surpassing any hopes I ever had for it
you're a good author

3549294
Thanks :twilightsmile: I like to think I'm getting better and better

3549982 it was captivating, funny, and just the right amount of "oh jesus why"
masterfully done

Uh, this was an awful story.

I understand you like to write random stories, and that this was clearly marked with the tags Mature and Gore, but what the fuck was the point of this story? The way it ends is outrageously absurd, and like its already been mentioned, there is barely any lasting conflict. Everyone literally just gets over it and learns nothing. Between the very real emotional turmoil Twilight and the rest of the town goes through over this feast, and the almost instant face heel turn to merriment afterwards, this story fails to entertain. It's just disgusting. Its the kind of thing I'd expect Petirep and Dawn Somewhere to parody.

That being said, I've enjoyed several of your other stories and think they're well-writtened, including Uniformity and Bats. Even the saucy Pinkie Pasta story was ridiculously hilarious, and even though Butterflies was a fucked up horror story, it was well written and clear.

All I've got left, if I haven't offended you already, is to ask what inspired you to write this story?

3697594
Nah, it's alright :pinkiesmile: I never seem to get these kinds of comments. I always wonder what made people downvote, but they never tell me. Even if I may or may not agree with the criticism, it's nice to know, at least.

The most concrete inspiration was the old myth of Thor and his two goats, which are slaughtered and eaten in the evening and resurrected from the bones in the morning. Once, Thor shared this gift with a mortal family, but one of the kids broke a bone to get the marrow, giving the goat a bad leg in the morning. Needless to say, Thor was not amused. I remember that story particularly well because of a cartoon I loved to watch as a kid, which was a retelling of many of these old legends.

There are other myths and stories with similar themes, and eating your god is common too, just look at Christianity and the eucharist which at least in Catholic lore is literally the blood and flesh of Jesus. I thought it was an interesting thought to have Luna playing both Thor and his goats, playing on this ancient idea of eating a god to bring prosperity and fertility to the people and the land (see theophagy).

It was a random idea, but I like to explore strange ideas because there's often more depth to them if you dig enough, especially when they have underlying themes like this. For me, I never start out with a clear idea of what it is I'm trying to say with a story like this, I discover that while writing and thinking about it. Sometimes I don't fully realize it until after the story is finished and people start commenting on it, and that's an amazing feeling, to suddenly realize what your subconscious was trying to say.

The important thing is what the ending hints at, that Luna will be resurrected from the bones just like the old myth, and that all the ponies knew this all the time. The story conveniently leaves out that detail for the reader, but it's clear that Twilight knew it from her readings and explained it as one of the first things to her friends as well. That's important, as it is why their reactions aren't worse.

It's also important that they aren't forced to participate, as Twilight explains to Pinkie. Presumably Pinkie doesn't eat anything, and probably a lot of ponies don't eat anything either. I imagine that ponies are very curious by nature, however, and once most of their concerns are deal with, many of them at least want to say they were there and saw this strange thing as it happened. The mood is less festive and more strangely curious at the end, if you ask me. As for Twilight, I think she's just feeling a rush of relief that the actual ritual is over.

3698811
Oh, wow. I was expecting a somewhat worse reply. Thank you for your answer, I really appreciate it.

I guess my one big criticism with this story is that a hint toward the resurrection should have been dropped, or if there was a hint, made more clear. That would have made the story a bit more palatable and understandable. I would never have made the connection to the Eucharist in Catholic belief, and I was never aware of the myth of Thor's goats.

If I had to edit this story, I'd include a passage at the end of something Twilight read about the tradition--and perhaps a foreshadowing passage at the beginning to preface the story. As it is, while I do appreciate understanding how and why you wrote the story, I can't say its something I'd really want to reread.

3698811

On second thought, now that I've had a chance to read up on theophagy, I can totally get the story. Still pretty heavy for MLP, but at least now I can appreciate the classical allusions. I didn't realize how common this story was in ancient myth. Very interesting.

3707766
I try not to get upset when people don't like my stories. As long as the criticism is respectful, I will be respectful too. I like to think this is a pretty interesting story when you get the connections to myth, but I also understand that it's not a story for everyone.

You're right that if you don't know the mythical background, it probably reads very different. I tried to hint at a resurrection without saying it outright. The way the ponies don't react as strongly as you would expect, and then Celestia saying at the end that Luna would be alright, that was meant to make the reader suspect that maybe Luna will be resurrected somehow, even if they didn't know the myth. Maybe it was a bit too subtle and should have been made clearer, but it was meant to leave it open to interpretation as well.

3707798
Glad to hear it :twilightsmile:

Pretty good story coming from an expert grimdark writer

Enlightening. :moustache:

I'm guessing that since the sacrifice isn't really necessary anymore she really just did it because she's into vore.

Wow. This is an amazing piece, really.
Maybe it helps that I'm Danish, with Viking ancestry, but still. Working a ritual sacrifice from norse mythology into MLP and doing it in a believable way is not something I would have thought possible. Impressive.
It never is gory for gore's sake and it never comes close to horror either.

Twilight's disbelief and revulsion turning into fascination and towards the end into deep satisfaction at an immensely difficult task well done (and of course Celestia's pride at this) is beautifully written and very much in character.
Fluttershy's role is simply perfect. It fits incredibly well to her affinity for all things natural and steely resolve for everything necessary to perform a needed act of kindness, in whatever form it may present itself. All the better for it that I never saw this coming.

The princesses' respect for Twilight will have reached new heights after this. Especially Luna's of course.
Celestia's 'no bones broken?' question confirmed my suspicion as to where you were going with this.

Brilliance. Have a fav in my top five favs of all time list.
Well done.

5411556
Thanks. I'm very glad to hear you like it so :twilightsmile:

This story doesn't get nearly enough attention for how good it is. It's funny, really, but after reading it I didn't think it was either particularly humorous or dark. It just feels like such an appropriate thing for Luna to do. What could be a more natural show of love by the living goddess of the moon, than to give of her own life and body to bless her people? Fertility, death and rebirth is what its symbolism is all about, after all. It's weirdly heartwarming and awe-inspiring.

I wonder if you get to take home any leftovers.

3261748
That's what I'm saying. I have to wonder though if Luna did it in the past before she was banished... THEN HOW COULD SHE BE ALIVE TO DO IT IN MODERN EQUESTRIA!? Does she come back to life or something?

5532414
She's acting out the last sacrament, except the flesh and blood is literal. It has no point if Jesus doesn't rise afterwards.

5532414 In Norse mythology Thor has two goats (named Tanngnjóstr and Tanngrisnir) that draw his chariot.
In one tale he slaughters them and shares the feast with a peasant family. Before the meal he warns them not to harm any of the bones. One of the peasants disobeys and breaks open a bone to get at the marrow.
The next day, when Thor resurrects the goats, one of them is lame and he has to leave them behind.

Hence Celestia's "no bones broken?" question. Luna's resurrection seems to follow this tale and Celestia doesn't want a crippled Luna.

5556918
And, of course, Loki is to blame, because he always is. Would've been thematically fitting for Discord to make someone do the same, in light of that.

5586831 Hadn't thought of the Loki/Discord similarity yet... yep, that would fit.
Thankfully not done in this story though, I think that would have killed the mood. Then it would certainly have deserved the dark tag.
Of course that could be done in another story... ah, no. Don't want to put this Luna through that :fluttercry:

5586863
Yeah, it's hard to wish harm on a Luna who'd literally die to feed her subjects.

3877297
Read the rest of the comments. I don't know about his other stories, but THIS story is not really Grimdark. There is some background material you are missing.


4939951
Eh, every little bit helps... but it is also a touchstone for someone trying to reconnect after a 1,000 year absence. So, she's really into vore, but it is for some specific reasons.

Well.
That was extremely uncomfortable to read. Well written, true, but what was the point? To show Twilight doing something she didn't enjoy? Her discomfort doesn't seem to carry over when she talks with her friends, and she seems to do it with ease. To show a massive sacrifice? Seems a bit shallow when Luna will just resurrect. To do gore without having to write something tragic? Doesn't seem exceptionally gorey. To weird out readers? It's suceeded with me, true, but if that's ALL I'm not impressed. It wasn't exactly thought provoking in its weirdness.

It just looks like it's there. A plot bunny you half-assedly brought to words and promptly forgot about - well written and somewhat believable, but without any clear purpose or theme being explored.

(Here via 5586901's userpage, after an offhoof comment on a more recent story with cannibalism themes.)

3710051 3707766
I find it morbidly appropriate that I'm doing some thread necromancy here…

The important thing is what the ending hints at, that Luna will be resurrected from the bones just like the old myth, and that all the ponies knew this all the time. The story conveniently leaves out that detail for the reader, but it's clear that Twilight knew it from her readings and explained it as one of the first things to her friends as well. That's important, as it is why their reactions aren't worse.

Like Lime, I honestly think this would have been a stronger story with more explicit signposting of that mythological background. By leaving that vague it increases the shock value of the story ("how can the ponies be okay with the murder of a friend?") but that empty shock robs you of the ability to really face head-on some more challenging questions. The whole dismemberment scene right now has a sort of Cupcakes pall that I'm pretty sure you don't want (seeing as how you explicitly lampshade that and reject it), and knowing solidly up front in big flashing lights that Luna will be okay in a few days forces us (along with the pony audience) to confront what exactly makes this scene so disturbing, when the victim volunteered and will be okay afterward and we (as readers) are omnivores and have done exactly the same to innocent animals, and also (as you rightly mention) mostly live in a society where our own underlying mythos tells us that we are explicitly doing this with our own deities.

Still upvoted, just … I wish this had gone for a different sort of shock.

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