- Member Since 23rd Sep, 2015
- offline last seen April 1st
HiddenMaster
Who am I? Does it really matter? Probably not. Just sit back and enjoy stories drawn from the eldritch depths of a disturbed mind with a love for pastel colored ponies.
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HiddenMaster · 4.1k words · 49 2 · 931 views
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Well, that definitely was random. I bet as soon as Cadance finished reading that letter, she increased security ten-fold and had Shining's DNA tested.
Fun.
I wouldn't mind seeing an extension of this with abducting her happy family. It has just enough of a serial killer vibe to pass as an authentic fairy tale.
This was amusing. Short and sweet, and I'm somewhat impressed with your take on Changeling and Pony biology.
Eh, she may be a crazy Queen, but I still ship it.
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #76.
My review can be found here.
7138847 Thanks for the review! Have to say, it hits it pretty spot on, and as much as I hate to admit it, this fic probably isn't for everyone. Only thing I'd say you missed is a bit of Chrysalis' affection for her own changelings I put into this, but honestly that's not that big a detail and I didn't extensively go into it so it's easily overlooked.
Still pretty cool to get a full on review, so thank you for that.
7138894
You're welcome. Good luck with your future stories!
Very Passive-aggressive. I like.
You should make a response chapter. Or not. I don't care.
I liked it.
But, but how did cadance respond to the letter??
7139867 Not well.
Very interesting story. I definitely enjoyed the biology quirks explained; it makes a disturbing amount of sense. My favorite bit was Chrysalis' tone; she's still the same (mostly terrible) person, but you can see some honest conflict there.
As it stands, it's probably best as a one-shot, but I could see another chapter take on the same letter format. Pony Princesses exchanging a flurry of letters, with Chrysalis cackling in the background.
All around, this a great presentation of a passive aggressive character. I wouldn’t mind seeing this idea explored in a longer story though.
Chrysalis is best everypony.
Wha-wha-wha-wha-what? Admittedly that made me laugh, but seriously.... what?! What just happened?
Continue please, seriously :D
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Chrysi would be great aunt!
7143593 It's simple. Chrysalis wrote a friendly letter.
Hilarious!!!
7143871 THIS. THIS PLEASE. PRETTY PLEASE AUTHOR?!? DO WHAT THE PERSON I RESPONDED TO ASKED PRETTY PLEASE ? D:
7139920 I want to read the response. Please? :D
7146006 that's what I meant when I wrote the original comment! Smug author... smug as fuck he is...
Ship it like FedEx, goddammit.
Are we sure Chrysalis isn't just making most of this up just to mess with Cadance's head as part of some petty revenge scheme? We may never know...
Not bad. A nice drabble.
Niiiiice. Chryssie can hurt you without actually hitting you, a lot. And it makes a lot of sense.
I wonder how Cadance feels about having personally murdered several sentient creatures despite them not killing ahyone (as seen in the show). Probably just fine, I guess, they're not real ponies.
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2361403-1-awesome_rainbow_dash_wallpaper_by_bluedragonhans-d4jfj4s.png
There Must be a sequel! or a second chapter.
Ah, so we have a similar idea with changeling venom!
Please let their be a sequel letter just as, if not more, humorous.
(I'll be waiting.
)
Kinda dark, specially if you read this from Cadence and Shining´s perspective: the monster who kidnapped and tormented the first, and physically/mentally raped the second, is the co-mother of their baby.
It´s like Berserker all over again.
7155213 Personally, I wouldn't put this to the screwed up level Berserk went to. Yes, it's rather dark-hence the dark tag-and undoubtedly scary for Cadence and Shining Armor, but I imagine even this Chrysalis would be horrified by the shit Guts and Casca went through at the hands of Griffith. Furthermore, Griffith both physically and spiritually corrupted that particular baby, while this one is, for all intents and purposes, healthy. A hell of a lot more Changeling in it if Chrysalis is to be believe than any other pony or Alicorn in existence, but healthy nonetheless.
So, yeah, it's sure as hell dark-Chrysalis would happily do away with Cadence and have her way with Shining given the opportunity, but not to Berserk levels of darkness that even Chrysalis at her most vengeful and insane would not go to.
Shining Armor calmly walked into the bedroom. "Hey Sweetie, spending the day in bed?"
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza continued to stare blankly at the letter in her hooves.
"Cadence?" Shining screwed up his face. "Honey sweet sugar-cube fluffy lovey lubkin?"
Cadence jerked out of her stupor with a scowl of disgust on her face. "Shiny! Ewwww!"
With a chuckle her stallion leaned in for a kiss, which was slowly returned. "Sorry, but you were a bit out of it."
"Mm." Cadence calmly levitated the letter over to her husband. "Chrysalis sends her regards."
Shining's eyebrows went suborbital as he quickly scanned over the letter. "Hm."
"As you might guess, I'm a little nervous about how much truth there is to the letter."
Shining tapped a hoof to his chin, then shrugged. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it too much."
This earned him a raised eyebrow in return. "Oh?"
"The changeling infiltrator thing, that's going to be one of those things that's hard to stop entirely. Ants in the sugar jar. We caught five, we missed one."
Cadence rolled her eyes. "Shiny..."
"Besides, if Chrysalis really did do that... would it have taken THIS long for us to have a kid?" He smirked, and waggled his eyebrows at his wife, who happily beaned him with a pillow.
"Perv." They both broke into giggles before settling into a snuggle pile on the floor. "Hmmmm."
"Hmmmm?"
"I wonder what a herd with Chrysalis would be like."
Shining tried to spit-take without drinking anything, sputtering. On catching his wife's teasing smirk, he stuck his tongue out. "Perv."
Have a thumbs up for a silly story.
7157152 Nice enough tid bit you have there, and in some scenarios I can see it happening.
Cadence seems to be ignoring a worrisome bit of the letter that keeps popping up, though.
Wait...
Did...did I just get fanfiction of fanfiction?
I...I don't know how to feel about that.
7157231 It's not a fanfiction, it's a microfiction! Nowhere near the 1k words limit.
Just a silly little scene that seemed amusing in my brain. Of course, I'm hardly an excellent writer. You seem to write rather well. If it inspires, great! If it doesn't, then mock! MOCK me with thine fearsome tongue!
Stay Cool
7151848 I agree.~hug
I honestly don't know.
"I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning cakes" is something I'm going to steal, most definitely.
Oh, now that was just below the belt.
"I'm pregnant! And Chrysalis is the father!"
Well, one half of the father, anyway. That kid is going to have so many issues growing up.
7143871 Shining's face in that picture is just...
Well, that was a lot of fun and I would definitely be interested in seeing more, although I really don't know what you would do unless you made it a prank letter from Rainbow Dash or something which would let you have fun with her laughing her ass off at the chaos of their reaction.
Yeah, this is the sort of thing that would make a great prelude to a full story. Otherwise, interesting take on things. I always have a soft spot on worldbuilding.
Wat?
7249887 Success!
this is great. need a sequel with Cadance's responses or something
and in the third chapter cadance is also chrysalis or her twin sister or something lame like that
Well, that sure flipped around to weirdness all of a sudden. You do realize you can't possibly leave it with that, right? There needs to be a final chapter about Cadence confronting Shining Chrysalis about this whole mess.
I also like this take...but with Shining Armor secretly the maid that came in and walked out and the fake Shining a homoculus...and throw in a plan to have Chrysalis impersonate shining on occasion to help bypass alicorn breeding restrictions and that results in flurry heart and a health changeling hive...and then have a plot that involves Seaponies, an order who wants to return equestria to a political setup prior to discord, references to Rosedust of G1, and it's all hatched by the last creature anyone expects to do anything at this point...
Tree Hugger
And it's a plot to make everyone chill out...
and prove the wendigos she is seeing are not the result of drugs.
I liked the first one better...
I'd love to hear about Cousin Coco's schemes though.
7250005 Well, I was running out of inspiration and this is more a product of boredom. I was originally being genuine when I said the first chapter would probably be the last. As it is, I'd honestly be surprised if people liked the second chapter more than the first, barring someone who has desperately wished for this exact scenario for years but was unable to find it in a letter format. But I can't imagine even among the fandom there are that many people looking for this exact scenario.
Edit:
As for Cousin Coco...
Imagine Discord and Team Rocket (yes, all of them) had a baby.
And then Pinkamena was the foal sitter her entire life, but she was high on a combination of Adderall and Meth the entire time.
Make the offspring a Changeling with severe ADHD and megalomania, and that should more or less paint a picture of who Cousin Coco really is.
7249892
Why do I get the feeling that Cadence is actually Chryssy...
I think that this must continue.