Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXCVIII · 7:41pm Jun 9th, 2022
No reviews next week, folks. Break time!
So my parents came by last weekend for a visit. Hosting them means I’m now two days behind on my reading. But y’know what? They did enough good things for me in that time that I don’t mind at all. Now I’ve got a grill, an exercise bike, new deadbolts on both doors, and my second bathroom is properly furnished at last. I only expected half of those things to happen. So yeah, I’ll forgive having to read a little extra to catch up.
Alas, they left something else behind. I don’t know what it is or even if it’s really they’re fault, but I think a doctor’s appointment is in store for me in the next few days.
That’s for later. Right now is time for reviews. Then I'm gonna crash for a bit.
Stories for This Week:
dead butterflies (One of Them Will Destroy the Other) by The Red Parade
Synthetic Bottled Sunlight by NorrisThePony
Familiar by GaPJaxie
Total Word Count: 257,812
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 1
Worth It: 0
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Rainbow Dash lives in a nightmare.
That’s about the best summary I can offer. Anything more detailed is too spoilery for this one, and this is a story that absolutely shouldn’t be spoiled.
dead butterflies is a complicated piece filled to the brim with visceral imagery, heavy moods, and tense emotions. You’ll spend much of it wondering what the heck is going on, the only concrete thing being that Rainbow is going through some sort of personal hell. It’s as beautiful as it is dark, and I love that.
Then the ending finally comes, and suddenly we understand. Not everything, not completely, but enough. The author never directly claims anything, and there are still a few mysteries left unsolved, but the most important part is resolved, and I was glad for it.
This is a fascinating piece of Weird fiction by an author I am surprised I’d not heard of before now. I can assure you, I’ll want to look at more of their library.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Synthetic Bottled Sunlight
242,114 Words
By NorrisThePony
For more than a decade, she has been hidden underground. Quite literally buried, left to torture and bitterness and isolation. Her little ponies think she died from the wounds gained battling Tirek. That she was a liar and tyrant. But the day is coming when Celestia, battered and bruised and weak, will escape the Industry’s prison. When that happens she will work to retake her throne. Yet even the mighty Celestia will not be able to do that by herself.
Set in the timeline that depicts Flim and Flam taking over Equestria, this story stars Celestia and Twilight Sparkle as they work to undo the cultural damage caused by Flim Flam Industries more than a decade after they’d used deception, social manipulation, and old fashioned royal kidnapping to weasel their way into power. It’s in some ways a grim piece reflecting the grim world that it is set in. This version of Equestria is a scathing look at Industrial Era capitalism run rampant, with the Flim Flam Industry literally running the country despite it having been shifted to a democratic system in the absence of alicorns.
Celestia and Twilight have a great many hurdles to get past. The most obvious is the Flim Flam Industry itself. Now, you might think that some evil governing business body would be perfectly willing to use military force to crush Celestia and Twilight with ease. But while hired goons are indeed available, it turns out the Corporation neither gained control nor maintains it with such methods. The Corporation insteads prefers blackmail, bribery, and total control of the press. Thus the battle for Equestria’s soul takes place not on battlefields but in courtrooms and radio stations. It’s an unexpected but wholly welcome direction that makes things far more interesting than “I’mma blast you with a solar ray!”
Yet the Corporation isn’t the only threat our protagonists have to work against. Celestia is a broken mare. She has numerous scars both physical and mental from past battles with the likes of Nightmare Moon, Sombra, Chrysalis and Tirek. The emotional strain these place on her are every bit as dangerous as anything the Corporation can send her way. Twilight, too, is a scarred pony, although hers are entirely mental due to years of failure, isolation, public humiliation and helplessness. This Twilight is self-defeating and miserable with tragic self esteem issues. NorrisThePony creates a pair of characters who have to lean on one another constantly just to keep going.
All this is to say that the story is a slow, powerful tale of self-recovery. Celestia’s and Twilight’s problems can’t be resolved overnight, and the character/relationship growth stemming from their situation is well explored. I have nothing but praise for how this story evolved and our protagonists grew stronger with every setback, even if they didn’t do so right away. It’s a story that leads a reader to frustration, amusement, and occasionally great pleasure due to a constant rollercoaster of events both positive and negative.
There are a few things of note. For example, how this is clearly the Flim Flam timeline and yet the brothers are conspicuously absent. A reason is eventually given, and it’s a good one, but I imagine some people will be disappointed by it. There’s also the big, climactic event that marks the conclusion of the story. I find it peculiarly interesting that a story about capitalism run wild features a big scene that reminded me significantly of Chernobyl (referencing the HBO miniseries, that is). Source of inspiration, or mere coincidence? That one’s not a complaint, by the way, just an observation.
I was also bugged by the lack of closure for some characters. Applejack and Fluttershy come to mind, more so the former. A bit of Moondancer and certainly Spoiled Rich. The most significant name to come to mind, however, is Lightning Dust. Once her main role is over, she completely disappears aside from a few cameos in which she doesn’t interact with the ongoing events she was directly involved in in any way. I would have at least liked to have seen her at the trial.
Also curious is the absence of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie (although Rainbow may have made an unnamed cameo in one mid-late train scene). Their absence was conspicuous, at least to me. I can easily imagine that Pinkie never left the rock farm and Rainbow never left Cloudsdale. I won’t even call it a bad thing; too many authors make it a point to shoehorn all the Mane 6 into a story when some or even most of them serve no purpose being there. If anything, NorrisThePony not bringing them in was a smart move others could learn from. That being said, I can see some readers scoffing at their personal best pony not making an appearance.
All in all, I enjoyed this one. It’s got interesting characters with excellent growth, grim and seemingly insurmountable circumstances, and a whole new world to explore. The conflict for control of Equestria is non-traditional, and there are plenty of moments where I wanted to keep going just in hopes of seeing the smug looks wiped off certain rich ponies’ faces. It’s another excellent tale from NorrisThePony, and I look forward to the next one.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Dusk Falls — WHYRTY?
You Could Feel the Sky — Pretty Good
Nightmare's Reign — Worth It
Cloudchaser has been Rainbow Dash’s faithful familiar and best friend since she was sixteen years old. Last night, she committed suicide.
This one is set in an AU in which ponies have advanced to a technological utopia. They live in an eternal festival, watched over by an everlasting and all-powerful army of robot slaves controlled by a supreme artificial bureaucracy and the ever-benevolent mega-AI Celestia. For Rainbow, Celestia created a personalized, robotic familiar, an artificial intelligence with the specific purpose of loving Rainbow and attending to her every need. It is unclear if this is a universal boon all ponies get.
Aside from the first chapter, the story is told from Rainbow’s perspective as she tries to understand and cope with the loss of her best friend. I may be incorrect on this assessment, but I suspect GaPJaxie wrote each chapter based on the five stages of grief. Even if that’s true, I don’t think that was the point of the story, merely a bit of theming.
There are many different themes in this, come to think of it. The biggest ones involve the nature of artificial intelligence and the relationship between ponies and their familiars. Accentuating this is Rainbow’s new familiar, Twilight Sparkle. Like Cloudchaser, Twilight was created to love Rainbow and meet all her needs, the catch being that the needs of Teenage Rainbow are not the needs of today’s Rainbow. Then we get the revelation that Twilight doesn’t exist in a vacuum; she has desires, interests, hobbies, and friends completely unrelated to Rainbow. That Rainbow didn’t realize this until expressly told is extremely telling. It also raises questions about what Cloudchaser was keeping from her.
Point is, Familiar is a startlingly deep and complicated story considering its length. It provokes all sorts of questions and provides few, perhaps even no answers. It’s a fascinating read that I’m sure will delight many, although it may disappoint the Need to Know crowd. Theorizers of the nature and impact of AI on civilization will consider it a treat. Worldbuilders will find plenty to ponder over and expand upon. Fans of Rainbow Dash may take delight in her personal and thought-provoking character growth. Those who appreciate Twilight will take interest in her private, if subtle, struggle to find a place at Rainbow’s side.
There’s so much going on here, and GaPJaxie threaded that needle wonderfully. This is a story that deserves all my praise. Which is why I am strongly recommending it.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Would It Matter If I Was? — WHYRTY?
Courtesans — WHYRTY?
The Virgin Princess — WHYRTY?
I Forgot I Was There — Pretty Good
Love Letters for a Girl I Hate — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
Machina Cor Armageddon by MagnetBolt
A Puppet To Her Fame by Kaidan
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Dude how have you not read Red Parade before this?
Seriously, Red's one of the site's best current authors. Dive into that library hard.
Thanks for the review, Paul, I'm glad you liked!
I was a bit let down I wasn't able to fit Dashie and Ponkers into the story, but couldn't quite think of a way of doing so that didn't feel like I was crowbarring them in when contextually it'd feel like a bit of a stretch for them to be there. Part of my intention was to imply the show's friendships gradually coming together as Equestria and Ponyville healed (Twi meets Flutters who introduces her to Applejack while making a friendship with Rarity through Celestia) but, of course, that had to be implied instead of focused on since it was mostly Tia and Twi's tale first and foremost.
Ah, I forgot you moved recently. Hope you've broken the place in nicely! And nothing like a nice time with the folks. Shame on what they left behind, though.
And I'm gonna second TCC56 – of all the authors who didn't publish their first story until after FiM has finished*, The Red Parade is easily one of the most prolific (70+ stories, 270+ followers) and most notable faces around the site's posts, and it's well deserved. Even the few stories of his I've read are really something.
Anyway, good crop this week! Read Familiar before, and I'll be sure to give dead butterflies a look in too, it's a quick read. Writing good reviews for such spoiler-sensitive fics is always tricky, mind, don't envy that part…
* By just a few days in The Red Parade's case. Still counts!
oh good, you have discovered the red parade :D one of a handful of 'new guard' authors who've shown up (on my radar) since about 2019 and just been really, really excellent
Nothing I've read, but all authors I've enjoyed other stories by. If you liked Jaxie's that much, there's a sequel, I think. Or maybe just another thematically similar story.
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Specifically, there’s a direct prequel about when teenage RD first met Cloudchaser, and then a side-quel featuring rarity and a griffon princess.
:o
Thank you for the review, I'm really glad you liked it! The story is definitely one of the better things I've written recently and I'm so happy to see you enjoyed it!
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aw hecc thank you guys haha, appreciate the kind words! <3
(also re: mike, I actually had stuff posted on the site around 2017 but it's since been removed since I wasn't happy at all with it!)
Okay, that first one by The Red Parade is going straight on the RiL list. I've no idea whether I'll like it, I have a rather mixed record of enjoyment when it comes to weird fiction, but it's short enough that I can give it a whirl and see!
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Looking back, I realize there's one thing I missed in my review: why did Celestia go to Twilight in the first place? It felt like she escaped and immediately knew "Twilight Sparkle is at the abandoned Archives and is certain to help me." I'm not sure there was enough context available to make it clear why she knew where Twilight was and that Twilight would help her.
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Since Celly's been imprisoned, with the exception of the Industry mooks, she's only really been in consistent contact with Raven and Shining Armor. Shining has been visiting her semi-frequently, and in absentia of anything else to talk about I imagine Celly would be inquiring about Twi often, as she does in Chap One. When she escapes she only has several ponies on her mind, most others she has no idea are even alive twelve years later.
She visits the Canterlot Archives because, again, informationally speaking she's twelve years blind. She goes to the closest place she knows that likely has a good deal of information about the past twelve years, and lucks out significantly therein.
I agree that probably could've been communicated more clearly.
Yeah Familiar is pretty good, a truly unforgettable story that provokes all sorts of emotions.
It is. If you want to know more, check out the sequel and maybe do a review on it as well.
animationsongs.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Let-The-Rainbow-Remind-You-Song-Lyrics-My-Little-Pony-Friendship-Is-Magic-752x440.jpg
Thank you! Reading that review felt amazing. Familiar is a story that means a lot to me -- I'm quite proud of it, and I've tired to get a humanized version of it published. It's the first story I shared with my now-wife when we started dating.
And you know, if you really did like it, there is a sequel!
- MLP: FiM
- Dark
- Sci-Fi
The innocent have nothing to hide.(Also, going to read Dead Butterflies, you've piqued my interest)
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Was he right about the 5 stages of grief?
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Nope! Swing and a miss. Though they did end up roughly following that.
It's generally seen as better to say "died by suicide." Sorry if it seems like I'm just nitpicking.
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Why would that be any better? It doesn't change the fact.
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It doesn't. But the word "committed" is associated with crimes. For example, "committed murder." I'm bad at explaining stuff, so here ya go:
Why You Should Stop Saying 'Committed Suicide'
You Shouldn't Be Saying "Committed Suicide" (And Here's Why)
If you don't want to change it, that's fine. Just wanted to say.
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I'm all for the appropriate use of language, but those arguments are terrible. When someone kills themselves, they "commit" to the act. By definition, nobody "dies by suicide" on accident. I'm not going to police my language because some people want to change what the language actually means.
Take my word choice in the review of Familiar. I fully acknowledge that I didn't plan it out as I might have had I heard those arguments beforehand but, from the perspective of Rainbow Dash, "committed suicide" is absolutely the best term. It fits with both her attitude about the situation and the underlying (implied) reasons Cloudchaser killed herself. There was a distinct purpose in the act beyond merely dying, and the impact it has on Rainbow is more than just the pain of loss. Cloudchaser knew that would be the case. It's almost certainly a big part of why she did it in the first place. To change the term to "died by suicide" would actually subvert her intentions.
Similarly, our word choice should reflect the person using the terminology. if I were to write a story from the perspective of, say, Fluttershy, then I might have her use the term "died by suicide", as that fits with her personality. Provided she isn't written as a realist, as I've seen happen a few times (i.e. "I'm not bothered by carnivores being carnivores.").
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I'll admit I haven't read the story, and if the word commit fits the context then sure. I agree, there are instances where commit is better.