She had simply wanted recognition. Equality. Nothing more. She had never wished to be the cause of so much war and strife in a land once prosperous and peaceful.
Stricken by guilt and fearful of the judgment of her subjects, Luna, with the reluctant help of Nightmare Moon, sets out to remedy her mistakes and return the sunlight to Equestria, no matter what the consequences may be.
Meanwhile, as an ancient foe is awakened, and the changeling race is all but extinct, only their young and reluctantly crowned Queen Chrysalis stands against the total annihilation of her species.
Thanks to Darkflame75 for the coverart.
Chapters (18)
Okay, I'm on the second chapter and...Wow. Just...Wow.
4608524 Yeah, this is by far the darkest of the three. I'm having a bit of trouble deciding where to go from this point, so I'm afraid this story will probably not update very frequently. This is one of those stories where I felt I could go a lot further by not having a set plot, but it seems like that did not work at all.
I'm really interested to see where this is going, but one thing that's been bothering me is how you use the word "men". There are no men in Equestria. It's either stallions, mares, or ponies. Not men.
5182117 That is...a really foolish mistake on my part. Thanks for pointing that out!
5182142 No problem. It was just kinda bothering me. And I think you had "hands" somewhere in there as well, but that might have been something else.
Well this just got interesting!
If Nightmare doesn't immediately join Luna, then I hope luna says "If Nightmare comes, let her join me.
5285791 Ah don't worry. I like Nightmare Moon too much to cut her out so anticlimactically.
Wait... is Luna dead or not? At some point it seemed like Nightmare was saying she was dead and at some points it seemed like she was saying she was alive. And what was that thing about three years?
5451455 Well, to Nightmare, death is a little more subjective, especially considering she herself is both alive and yet incapable of existing outside of the mindscape of a pony. I can offer a better explanation in a PM if you want, but from Nightmare's knowledge Luna is dead. As to whether or not she actually is...
The three years is just the time it took Nightmare Moon to track down Tia. It's not particularly significant.
5451807 Ah, okay. Thank you for the clarification.
Is this a "Luna's a prick" fanfic?
5481220 Uhh...not intentionally. Nightmare Moon is pretty bitchy though.
That being said Luna's basically her own antagonist here.
Oh, Celestia.
That is exactly why I hate her. Loved the chapter, now that I finally had time to read it.
No, Chrysi, you can't leave. You have to find Luna.
Just caught up on it and just so I'm clear on this: did the Underworld/Tartarus journey happen or was it a dream from a stone sleep that Discord put Luna into (and on that note: Discord as Lord of Tartarus? I don't think so.)
5579234 Didn't happen, but will come up again.
An interesting take on the "if Nightmare had won" scenario. Do continue.
Well in the space of a few hours I read the last three chapters, and words can't explain how I feel about them and the story as a whole, but I still cannot help but try.
The story as a whole is amazing and I have loved every piece of it. The past three chapters have been intense, from the final battle with Discord, the sorrowful end to Nightmare Moon, to this here ending, which I also feel is a tad bit sad.
I say it's a sadish ending because Luna has lived to what seems to be the near end of Equestia, and now patiently waits for the embrace of the after life, while remembering all the times of the past, mainly the good ones. That is merely my interpretation of the ending.
Again I must reiterate, this has been a truly amazing story, one which brought out the feels, particularly in this and the last chapter, and has had me enthralled since I first read it.
5712102 Thank you for your praise. I was a little worried that the last three chapters sort of dragged, but I'm glad you found the pacing alright.
Good story, though ending could be longer.
Overall I have mixed feelings about this story, it had good plot and execution but something lacked or like it was cut short
This is getting good!
That ending is a wonderful page turner, so-to-speak.
5285791 That is exactly what I thought! Not joking the instant Nightmare left, I hoped Luna would turn and say " If Nightmare Moons comes to look for me let her pass, please.".
Can't figure out if I should trust Nightmare Moon or not. I'm also conflicted on if I want he to be trustworthy or not.
Great chapter! I shall continue onwards.
5739697 Thank you. Having Nightmare Moon be untrustworthy/mysterious and likeable at the same time was amongst my main concerns, so it's good to know that I suceeded on that front.
If this is only part one, I must find part two and read it, now! Amazing story! Truly a entertaining read. I don't think there was anytime, I became remotely bored or disinterested. Thank you for making this!
Very touching.
although I'm a bit confused how Celestia knows about Twilight. There are several ways it could be explained easily, and most of them make some sense. Seemed a bit off to me. Still made for a more, lighthearted ending without losing weight.
5739906 This story is a prequel to another one with time travel involved. Hopefully that clears it up!
As for part two, you don't really have to look far, it's continued here.
Great chapter! Loved the take on Chrysalis here, where she used Luna' s love for her sister, to give her more power. At least I think that's what happened.
This was a very touching chapter.
5712102 Couldn't have said it better myself. There really are no words for expressing how much I enjoyed this story. I have a feeling of satisfaction, yet at the same time I feel there could've been more. Everything is settled, but I think the meeting of Luna and Celestia, in the afterlife would've been a more appropriate ending. As is though It was a truly amazing story. It will make for a fond memory, for sometime to come.
5743915 Wow...thank you. I was really self-conscious of the last 50,000 words being drab and boring compared to the "Pre-Interlude" chapters but I'm glad that's not the case. Especially considering you apparantly read over them in an evening. I'm seriously quite flattered.
Regarding the ending, I did have other variations in mind, one of which did indeed include Luna meeting Celestia again. In the end I decided not to because it already happens in one of the sequels, and also goes against my obsession for amigious endings. Almost all of my stories have Alternate Endings and who knows, maybe sometime I'll publish them for the heck of it.
Anyways, thanks again for your praise!
5744396 No problem. I will have to read sequel(s). This was easily one the most entertaining stories in all. Most stories go from entertaining to filler, but yours' didn't fall into that.
Ahhhhh, I'm so late.
I really enjoyed the ending. The story as a whole was really fun and interesting and I just couldn't stop reading once I started. And I love how far into the future you took the epilogue. That was definitely a neat idea.
After finally getting around to reading this story (curse my ever-growing backlog), I must say I am very glad to have done so. It was a wonderful exploration of a much darker "what if" scenario, and I loved the way you led us on a wild goose chase with the whole "Luna goes to Tartarus" ordeal.
I mean, I sort of started suspecting something was wrong when Discord was revealed as the ruler of the underworld, but before that? I really thought that Luna had succeeded in killing him, and this was truly a journey through the metaphorical hell to bring back Celestia. And then the truth is revealed and you realize there will be no refunds and that Luna has simply been living out a fantasy in her own mind ... this was a plot twist done right.
Nightmare's interactions with Luna and their slowly growing ... hm, perhaps if not friendship then companionship was interesting to watch, and I must admit you managed to make me feel a twinge of sympathy at the very end for Nightmare and her final letter. She might have been an evil parasite once, but her time with Luna truly did change her - and it was sort of fascinating to watch as she slowly reached that point.
All in all, this was a very satisfying exploration of "what if Luna beat Celestia ... a little too hard" and all the consequences that follow from that - both for her and Equestria as a whole, and her impotent despair at the whole situation. After all, indeed, Luna turned in to Nightmare because she wanted adoration and respect from her subjects ... can't very well have that if they all die as result of your actions, and only proves their lack of respect right.
The last chapter where Nightmare faced her end did feel a bit rushed (with the whole 'Twilight has gathered her friends and is ready to obliterate NIghtmare' ordeal) and almost painfully devoid of details, like you were in a bit of a hurry to finish the story at that point, but I guess it doesn't loose too much impact from that, as the essentials of Nightmare's fate were still there - still could have been fleshed out more though.
All in all, this was a most enjoyable journey and I thank you for writing it.
5919592 Thank you very much for your feedback. I'm glad you liked Nightmare Moon's interactions with Luna and her development, because I sure as hell had a lot of fun writing her.
This opinion is, unfortunately, pretty unanimously shared, to the point that I realize now that perhaps one more chapter could serve the story well. This story was written as a prequel to another which tells in detail of Nightmare Moon's defeat, but nevertheless I realize it was a mistake to be so swift and vague with the details in this story. Oh well, I guess it's never too late for a bit of minor revisions.
This story deserves such a better rating than it does now, it saddens me when I see amazing stories like these given such little to none attention.
This is relevant to my interests.
Okay, this is intriguing.
Well this was interesting to say the least. One thing I think you could have done to remedy this into the final cut, as Luna is under her "trial" that she had to relive all the acts she has done, or something along those lines.
The main thing though...The feels, of god the feels I'm remembering the feels.
'scuse me, gonna go read this one again, cause it's just one of those fics.
5740522 A written prequel? Or just the concept of one?
Also, part two to what, exactly?
6776918 Originally, I'd cut the pre-Interlude and post-interlude chapters into two separate parts. 1-9 was Part 1, and 10-16 was Part 2. It came across as a little too...ah... George Lucas-ey, and I've since changed it. And no the irony isn't lost on me.
Kind of a soft-prequel to this story here. I say soft-prequel, because I hardly tried to seamlessly stitch them together. That story was my first though, I personally think it's terrible, and the only reason it's still up at all is because I know some people still enjoyed it. I prefer for this one to stand-alone, with the existing ambiguities left to interpretation, instead of explained by my less-practiced past-self.
Recently, I've done my best to bury the fact that this story is connected to anything else.
Either way, thanks again for reading, and the follow is much appreciated too!
Okay then, I see you adhere to Hitchcock's philosophy of creating suspense. Interesting, if horribly sad beginning.
Cya
Raziel-chan
How can Nightmare not see just how cute changelings are?
Oooooh, young Chryssie.
Snrk, yes, griffons have turned long winded speeches into a form of warfare.
Cya
Raziel-chan
You done goofed.
Cya
Raziel-chan
... Why do I have the feeling that Luna will somehow cause that ancient enemy to reappear.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Nightmare wouldn't stand being unable to annoy Luna for so long.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Great chapter, the forest was really creepy.
Still, there's a distinct lack of a certain changeling queen so far.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Well, she done goofed.
Cya
Raziel-chan