As Luna begins her downward spiral to evil, Star Swirl the Bearded returns from a dark future and makes a terrible discovery - someone, or something, has altered the course of time! As he works to set things right, will his involvement change things for the better, or has the mage doomed Equestria to an even more terrible fate?
Made the feature box twice! 
• The second part is now available, which you can read by clicking here.
• Is the time travel stuff confusing? (Yes is the only correct answer.) Then click here to get a better understanding!
• NOTICE: This story contains an OC mary sue, an over-powered mage, some really dark moments and my poor but only occasional attempts at writing comedy. It also has warm fuzzy moments, too.
Chapters (12)
I'm always surprised at the lack of stories chronicling Luna's downfall. But this looks to be a well executed one. The writing is solid, and the premise looks promising. I'll follow for now to see if this can deliver. I'm getting high hopes for this.
1749703
Thanks, that's really great to hear!
I'm a new author and have a lot to learn still, but hopefully with plenty of reader feedback I can turn this series into something special.
sorry but starswirl the bearded lived before equestria was made remember clover the clever was taught by starswirl
1757686
Actually... a large plot point of my story is that Star Swirl is a time traveler that involves himself with ponies that are destined to play a crucial part in the history of the world. Also, I just noticed you're probably referencing what I put in the synopsis about him coming from the future - in the order of events of DotN, that's just where he currently was. He actually bounces all over time to wherever/whenever he's needed (which will also become obvious as the story progresses) to help shape a more promising future.
Also as a side note to this, since in Twilight's time period Starswirl has a secure wing of the Canterlot library named after him - which just happens to have time travel scrolls - that made him the perfect character to use as a catalyst for the events of my story.
Anyhow, hope this clears up the confusion!
1757866
okay but now ss is the doctor with out a tardis or derpy or a brithis ascent or butter
1757962
lol That is true, to an extent... but I'm hoping those differences along with how he's portrayed in the story will still make him a standout character.
please tell me your not plannig on shipping luna and ss because i was kind of working on that
This sotry needs more like, its rare to see a good story that has Star Swirl the bearded and Luna
Please MOAR
1759052
1759428
Thanks, that's great to hear!
Well, this looks interesting. *adds*
1759428 'more' glob dang it, that is the would you should have used does no one know English anymore
1757866
Sooooooooo, he's basically a non-tourist Doctor Who
1870705
I'd say that's a good comparison... and while It was never really planned for the two of them to be similar, I think it's great Star Swirl is being compared to Dr. Who. (I just hope everyone likes it as well...
)
*tiny spoiler* As a nod to the show, I even had him use a spell of regeneration...
Hard to follow but I like it!
And I get that 'Fidge' is Star Swirl the Bearded?
2046496
There's so many characters and events happening in the first couple chapters it does make the story flow jump around a lot... and I'm sure the time travel doesn't help either. (Not to mention my weak writing!
)
Buuuut.... the spastic jumping around should taper off in the next couple of chapters, so the story should be a bit easier to follow. I hope.
As for Fidget and Star Swirl? I like leaving things open to interpretation, but I don't mind clearing this up. No... the little pony has no connection to Star Swirl other than his chance encounter at the alley after the events of chapter one's ending.
Your stories are really good.
2343645
Thanks so much!
2488534
I'm hoping that means you liked it!
interesting.... I'm liking this!
Have a moustache!
Though ancient, Luna retained the appearance of a youthful mare and while she’s lived a span nearly a hundred-fold of an average pony, she's never truly felt old. Not until this day. She’s seen the rise and fall of would-be rulers, of multiple attacks against Canterlot, and when the world was still young, she stood side by side with her sister to stop the malevolent draconicus known as Discord and brought an end to his reign of chaos. // As she slowly opened her eyes she briefly thought of her parents, neither of which she's seen in a very long time.
Since the narrator speaks in past tense (as most stories do), shouldn't this be "she had never", "She had seen", and so on? Or "She'd", if you'd like to keep the contractions.
Also, isn't it "draconequus"?
glowing luminously
If this isn't redundant, I'd genuinely like to know how that is so, for my own education.
As for general commentary ... I am certainly intrigued.
3141843
Lots of valid points and proof of how terrible I am at editing my own work. I'll go through and fix those now, thanks for pointing them out.
Also, I could be wrong, but I believe luminance means to shine brightly, and luminously is an adjective that describes that effect. So, in this case, glowing luminously is just a pretty way of saying it's a glow that brightens the area.
3129993
Oh, why thank you.
3148472 Oh, I never imagined you were using the word luminous incorrectly. I was just wondering if it wasn't telling us something already implied by "glow", but I guess luminous does convey a brightness that glow doesn't necessarily do. Thus I am educated, thanks!
It is just coincidence that your story is named after my character?
3975321
I suppose so... But it shows you've been a member for just over 3 months whereas Starfall has been available on Fimfiction and DA for over 2 years.
3975597
The character has been in existence before then, though.
I just thought that was a happy coincidence.
3975943
Oh no worries, it likely was then.
In that case, shouldn't this story have a dark tag?
5492939
Part 1 was already marked dark, though.