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PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every other Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

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Oct
12th
2017

Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXIX · 9:53pm Oct 12th, 2017

Paul presents: newspaper headlines after the events of the movie!

Never be Royals (or The Elements of Hopeless)
Awarded to all of Equestria's princesses. The instant the fighting started, Celestia and Luna said "Whelp, that's it, we're boned." Didn't even cast a cantrip to pretend to defend themselves. Cadance gets points for at least trying. I won't even get started with Twilight...

Yes, I totally stole that name. No regrets.

Quest of the Mane 63 and Then Some
Executive Who Has Never Seen MLP:FIM: Alright, poll's in. Kids love Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Let's make them the stars of the movie!

Knowledgeable Writer Peon: But we can't make a movie without Twilight as the lead character! She's the Princess of Friendship!

Executive: Hmm? Yes, yes, whatever.

Peon: And we need Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity to have equal time. They're key characters!

Executive: Oh, I know! Let's add a bunch of new characters and spend all our budget not being used on special effects on giving them big name actors to voice them! Star power, baby! Better not give them more than five minutes' worth of lines each, though. Quantity over quality.

Peon: And... Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity?

Executive: Who?

Pointless Villain is Pointless
Look at me as I make my grand entrance by walking through a door too small for me! I shall laugh without having any idea what I'm doing! And then I'll die after achieving absolutely nothing while my lackey takes up half the movie! But hey, I'm voiced by Liev Schreiber, that should be enough to make my presence here worthwhile.

Celestia's and Luna's Worthlessness Revealed!
Celestia and Luna are trapped in stone! They can do nothing to save themselves!

...why is the sun still setting?

Princess of Friendship Comes Out as Racist!
Does anyone else feel like the Princess of Friendship's cynicism and attitude are more reminiscent of how Twilight Sparkle behaved back in Seasons 1 and 2? But hey, only towards anyone who isn't a pony. At least Twilight Sparkle didn't discriminate!

Derpy Hooves: Savior of Equestria?
How is it the comic relief background pony is the only one with the instincts and ability to actually succeed in saving one of Equestria's ruling monarchs?

Ponies Freaks of Nature!
Apparently, the natural order of things in the MLP universe is for creatures to evolve humanoid features like fingers. Since ponies seem to be the only creatures that never did, this must make them the freaks! Able to do whatever they want without opposing thumbs? Bunch of mutants.

Okay, I've had my fun. On to the reviews!

Stories for This Week:

Where All My Layers Can Become Reeds by OfTheIronwilled
Wither by -TGM-
Lunar Musings by Tinybit92
Of Flies and Spiders by wYvern
Unusual Events: A "Short" Story Collection by Max Florschutz
The Enchanted Library by Monochromatic
Total Word Count: 511,182

Rating System

Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 3
Pretty Good: 2
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0


This review has been a long time coming. It’s one of those selected for having been completely ignored.

In Where All My Layers Can Become Reeds, we get to see a filly Fluttershy discover the ground far below Cloudsdale. And as she gradually comes to love this place, it becomes her sanctuary against the bullies and her mistakes and the smothering reality of being her.

Woven within the pleasant prose is a troubling depression. The story acts as a window into the worldview of a pony with no self-esteem, who feels as if her life among ponies is nothing more than a burden. But while the topic is not uncommon, OfTheIronwilled sells it spectacularly with a writing style dripping with atmosphere.

This is a sadfic that has been criminally neglected. Never have I seen the life of filly Fluttershy depicted in such an evocative way, and this easily stands out as the best I’ve read by this author. Read it, folks, and give Shy Horse a hug.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Child's Play — Needs Work
One Small Mistake — Pretty Good
Pies — Pretty Good
Why — Worth It


Wither

3,714 Words
By -TGM-

It has been a year since the failed invasion of Canterlot. Chrysalis walks among her hive, revelling in the glory of its existence and the knowledge that she will have her revenge. As she examines her unmoving, silent, dusty horde, a voice keeps begging her to do what is right. But Chrysalis knows better. She doesn’t need Equestria’s help.

This was a great look at Chrysalis after her defeat, and the kind that I’ve longed to see for a while. It is depressing, it is thought provoking, and it is subtly emotional. There’s not much else to say, except that this ranks among the best post-invasion changeling stories I’ve ever read.

The only thing I feel the need to point out is that -TGM- didn’t approach this story in a manner I would have expected. Most stories of this variety lead the reader on, leaving clues as to the exact nature of the protagonist’s mind. Instead, Wither makes it absolutely clear what’s going on from the beginning. Whether that is a better route or not is up for debate, but I for one find the change in method refreshing, even if it is what one might call the ‘easy way out’.

All in all, an excellent bit of sadfic for everyone’s favorite bug horse. I only wish I could have seen what happened next.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Six Followed by Nine — Worth It


If I recall correctly, this is one of those stories I added while looking for the underviewed and undercommented. I had hoped for some interesting and perhaps thought-provoking insights from everyone’s favorite wall-eyed pegasus.

Alas, I instead got a collection of clichés, including:

The “I’m nopony important” cliché.

The “Why does everyone make fun of Ditzy/Derpy?” cliché.

The “Talk about the princesses without knowing they’re within earshot” cliché.

The “Oh my Goddess, someone loves my moon I’m gonna cry now” cliché.

At least it didn’t go into the “love my moon and I’ll love you” cliché. That would have been a traumatic encounter, rather than just annoying.

But I digress. The story isn’t half-bad, it just does all the things we’ve all seen before a million times, even at the time of writing. If you’re okay with that, I suppose you’ll like this. But for me, the lack of originality kills it. The good news? It sounds like Tinybit92 wasn’t trying too hard with this one, just wanting to get a bit of writing out. And that’s fine. We all do it now and then, and I’m not ready to condemn this author because of something like that.

Bookshelf: Needs Work

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Oh no, he's cute — Pretty Good


Of Flies and Spiders

8,065 Words
By wYvern
Recommended by BlazzingInferno

Glitter is a changeling, but not like any other. She feeds on negative emotions, and positive ones are literally a poison to her. And so she lives in Equestria, making others miserable and feeding off their hatred. But today she’s working at a haunted house – also known as an all-you-can-eat buffet – and runs into a little albino filly and her father.

Things go rapidly downhill from there.

This one was interesting. The protagonist is hard-edged and mean, but there’s a great reason behind it. Glitter’s cruel streak and her internal battle to maintain it is a treat to watch, even if her reasons for the battle aren’t always clear. Throw in an albino filly that slices through her defenses like a hot knife through butter and a father figure that just won’t quit. Poor Glitter never knew what hit her. But before you go thinking this is gonna be a story about redemption, bear in mind that this one isn’t a happy tale.

Or maybe it is. While it’s easy to see the ending as tragic, I can’t help coming away with a sense of… satisfaction. Not just in a story well told, but a satisfaction for Glitter herself. Is that what the author was really after? I have no idea, but it’s a curious result either way.

This is certainly a story worth delving into. It’s well written, well paced, and doesn’t bother to hold your hand and explain everything (I can see your influence, Inquisitor). You’ll have to figure things out on your own, but this story works that angle to great effect. It hits all the right notes, and while it’s certainly not the most amazing thing I’ve ever read, it definitely holds its own.

Well done, author.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Another Day — Pretty Good


And now for something completely different.

When Max asked me to review his short story collection, I was faced with a conundrum. I’d never really figured out how to handle things like this, and I mostly avoid them as a result. I could either read each story separately as its own review or make one big review, and there were plenty of pros and cons to each.

In the end, I chose a middle ground: review each story in the collection individually, but post them as a single review item. This made it much easier on my scheduling while also preventing Max’s stories from taking up weeks and weeks of request slots. Now that I’m finished, I dare to say it was the right move, and all future collections of this variety will probably be handled in much the same way.

So, let’s see what Max’s foray into short story compendiums is like, shall we?

Flash Point
There’s something subtly comical about a guy named Adam who goes by the nickname A.D. – for “After Death” – bullying someone else because they’re Christian. That’s got to be intentional on the author’s part, and it amuses me to no end. (Unrelated side note: apparently Google thinks “got to” is grammatically incorrect and we should always use “gotta”. Pay attention to your autocorrect, kids.)

Mark is having a rough time. He’s just moved to a new town and there’s no soccer team. Worse, every single kid at his new high school bullies him relentlessly because of his newness and his faith in God. And to complete the package, he’s begun getting strange symptoms that his doctor can’t explain. Mark needs to figure out what’s wrong with him, but the answer he finally comes to doesn’t make him feel any better.

For a story set in Max’s ‘Unusuals’ universe, it wasn’t anything at all like I anticipated. People who in today’s political climate are regularly written as the heroes are the villains here, and vice versa. It’s a refreshing change of pace, even if it takes the opposite viewpoint to its furthest extremes. I guess slander is fair play on both sides of the aisle, right? I hypothesize that this either shows Max's political affiliation or shows an impressive ability to look at things from the opposing side, something few people could even imagine, much less write believably. I hypothetically hypothesize he’s not political at all and just wanted to try doing things a little different from everyone else, which is still laudable.

And yet, when you strip away all the unexpected elements and look at the base of the story, you’re still getting something worth your while. Flash Point is all about coming to terms with who we are and accepting our uniqueness – or perhaps I should say our ‘unusualness’. It’s a comforting story for everyone who feels out of place or alone against the world, a reminder that no matter how bad things may seem there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also about personal responsibility and setting limits.

But mostly, it’s about being comfortable in our lives.

It’s an appealing life lesson crafted in a very different setting. All in all, I can’t help but to approve.

Monthly Retreat
Max wasn’t trying to hide it, but I’m still pleased with myself that I had it figured out by the time the business card first came up. Then again, I didn’t have it completely figured out. Say, 99%. There was that little twist at the end, after all.

Alma is a working mother who has, for the most part, a very normal life. But something changed recently, and it’s thrown her entire life for a loop. In the meantime, she’s got to deal with revealing new facts to her husband, keeping control of her new abilities, and facing a school system so progressive it’s actually moving backwards (or so it seems at first). Good thing she has a friend like Jane to help her figure things out.

As with all of the Unusual stories, Monthly Retreat is set in a world that appears perfectly normal in every way, but accentuates that normalcy with a dash of the fantastic. It was while reading this story that I finally realized what I like most about the Unusual universe: Max is utilizing mild fantasy tweaks to help relate real world issues. It’s subtle, it can be fun, and it’s always competently done. In this case, the theme is adapting to and embracing change.

Sorry, Max, it’s not my favorite. But it does resonate well and achieve exactly what you set out to do, and as such it still rates pretty high. I think just about anyone can relate to what Alma is going through as she juggles real world issues alongside her new additions. Monthly Retreat is an excellent part to an already good lineup of stories.

Kitchen Creature
Jose and Nick are two college guys with a curious new roommate. They can’t see it, can’t catch it. All they know is that it lives under their stove eating whatever stray crumbs of food happen to land within reach of its (presumed) tongue. Jose is determined to figure out what it is. Nick just wants to keep feeding it and calls it Trill.

This is one of those ‘spur of the moment’ stories all writers feel the need to do at times. It’s silly, and that’s all it needs to be. It also provides a little extra information regarding the workings of Max’s Unusuals universe, so bonus points there. And the ending? Yeah, I cracked up. Some people will call me evil and want to put Max on a P.E.T.A. watch list, but I don’t care.

As far as I’m concerned, Trill should be registered as a tool for pest control.

The Graveyard
This extra special story gets credit as the oldest of the collection, predating even the conception of the others and arguably marking the beginning of Max’s writing career on the whole. It is short, odd and, thanks to both, sweet. It’s about an unnamed paranormal investigator whose favorite vacation spot is, of all things, a graveyard in Hawaii. Why Hawaii? Because everything’s groovy in Hawaii. Even the dead.

This is a fun little piece full of wit and quirkiness. It’s neither an amazing piece of literature nor a crummy school project, and that’s fine. I enjoyed it for what it was, and am even interested in seeing the continuation of the main character’s story.

Maybe later. Still, an endearing little tale.

A Miner Haunting
Look at that name. Shame on you, Max. *Is certainly not grinning at the pun, honest!*

Jacob Rocke is apparently one of Max’s more popular characters, and may be the most recurring in his “Unusuals” universe. A Miner Haunting is set at the same time as the story Dead Silver, during a period where Jacob is confined to a hospital bed after having been roughed up by some seedy characters. Being bored and knowing the hospital is haunted by a harmless spirit, he decides to use the time to help the lost soul move on.

This story strikes me as being a plot bunny that Max wisely let roam free for a time. He could have put it directly in Dead Silver, like so many authors do when they have a tangent idea, but instead he left it out and made it into something separate at a later date. That was a good call, considering A Miner Haunting would have added nothing at all to Dead Silver. For that smart decision, I applaud the author.

Alas, compared to all the other stories I’ve read so far (and bear in mind I am not writing these reviews in the order they appear here), this one seemed to have the least… ‘purpose.’ It’s a side story, created for the author’s entertainment and to satiate the fans of the main character. I don’t have a problem with this. Lord knows I’ve had a personal project or two in my time (heck, I’m working on one right now). But it does come with the caveat that the story doesn’t have anything memorable about it. It’s a “convince the ghost to move on” story, and those are all largely the same.

What is interesting from a technical perspective is something I noticed about the dialogue between Jim and Jacob. There is a long period where the two are firing dialogue back and forth at one another. These moments are defined by the author’s apparent assumption that the readers can grasp the emotional state of the characters entirely on their own, because Max often doesn’t bother to give us any clues as to speaking inflections or physical reactions. Getting Jim’s reactions was a bit easier given the context, but Jacob? He might as well have been a robot droning for all we could tell about his mood.

Is that something unique to this story? I’m not sure. It could be that it’s been in all the stories so far and I only just caught it. Now that I’ve noticed, though, I aim to keep an eye out.

A Miner Haunting isn’t a bad story by any means, but neither is it a particular interesting one. Read it. Moving on.

Ripper
Set in a new fantasy world that Max has promised to expand at a later date, Ripper stars the titular character, one Lady Amacitia Varay. Lady Varay hates men in every conceivable way a woman can hate men, and has taken it to such extremes that she’s become a serial killerguardian of the innocent. Today she’s after one Jaceb, a young noblelech who is courtingbrainwashing an innocent young woman with intent to marry herrob her of her innocence. But this is one murderliberation that isn’t quite what it seems…

As a big fan of dark stories, I enjoyed this one. We get to watch as Lady Varay plots and schemes with an eye for detail and obsession with her world view. At the same time, it’s a very curious choice as an introduction to this new universe. Is the author trying to hint at the nature of all stories that will be taking place in this world, or is the tone coincidental? Either way, I’m curious as to where he’s going with this.

But as interesting as the story is, I suspect Max’s primary goal here was to get people interested in the worldbuilding. Social structures, technological setting, culture, all are put on quiet display. There’s a little bit of force to this, as Max does bother to relate to us information that Lady Varay would have known instinctively as a native (the message tubes are a prime example), but for the most part the information is competently conveyed. Minimal explaining, lots of demonstration, and thoughts and dialogue to help us out otherwise.

But it’s only a glimpse, a foggy window into a greater world. That is as it should be given the story’s scope. I imagine the entire point of this narrow view is to leave the reader hungry for more. It’s a story with a very limited view, a simple premise, and not much complexity in the plot. Which is fine, because in the end it’s more about showing us Max’s fun new playgroundfantasy setting.

But I will say this: if Lady Varay isn’t a major character/the main character in whatever’s coming next, I’ll be disappointed.

Vacation
Mike is an Alaskan wilderness guide. His client this weekend is Dave, from California. Green, not used to the outdoors, but not a bad fellow. Mike was happy to take his money and show him the ropes of living in the middlesouth of nowhere.

Neither of them expected a bear to crash the party.

Now stuck up a tree and watching as the visitor has fun with their camp, they do the only thing available to them: talk.

I was grinning like a madman when this story started, because no matter how you square it, the opening premise is amusing. I’ve been on those wilderness camping trips and they are a lot of fun, but nothing quite so memorable as that happened.

At any rate, this is a story that maintains a consistently endearing quality with the setting while two men from very different lives discuss just what brought them to this moment. Technically, this is a story about recognizing one’s faults and, perhaps, escaping their comfort zone. More interesting to me? It’s a story that demonstrates how a well-polished set can make a scene all the more memorable. The story itself isn’t unusual, but with that setting it’s hard not to enjoy.

Kudos to you, Max. I really liked this one.

Workday
Meet Casey. Typical teen. Terrible taste in music. Wants to spend time with his friends, get some lazy job at the local mall for summer, and just let life drift by. Too bad his parents have decided he needs to learn some responsibility, the arch-nemesis of all youths that ever lived. So they set him up with a special job: halibut fishing in Alaska (or the “most remote place in the world”, as Casey so dramatically refers to it).

I was smiling from beginning to end. This was a great story about a smartass kid learning that in the real world, people expect you to work for a living. To his immense credit, he handles it a lot better than most kids his age and in this generation probably would. It was still fun to listen to him whine (if only internally) about the captain’s taste in music, freezing his butt off in cold storage, or the fact that the bait bleeds.

Frankly, I dunno that I could have cut it. My idea of a hardnosed summer job was landscaping cemeteries in 100°F Louisiana heat with humidity so high you might as well be swimming. That cold stuff is for the birds. But being out on the ocean? Hey, I would have loved a job that let me be out there. Being on the open water is awesome.

At any rate, I enjoyed this story, partially for the nostalgia of fishing, but also for watching someone growing up and remembering when I used to be that snot-nosed kid. Stories like this remind me that we all need to do something hard in our lives to teach us about the rewards of productivity. How much do you want to bet Casey will be coming back next summer after he sees his paycheck at the end of a mere two weeks?

This one is an eye-opening showcase of just what Alaskan fishermen have to go through to earn their paycheck, and is also a fun look at a kid dragged kicking and screaming (at least internally) into something that might actually be good for him. Maybe not the most original story, but no less relatable and amusing for it.

SUPERMODEL
Samantha has a thing for superheroes. Ever since she was a child and saw the Wanderer’s first appearance in her city, she was enamored with everything about him. And as she grows older, her life goals shift around him: she will be the first investigative reporter to get a successful interview with Wanderer. The only catch? Nobody can figure out how to find him. But Samantha is nothing if not determined, and so she begins her lifelong journey to learn the secrets of her hometown superhero.

By his own admission, this is Max’s first (and only?) attempt at writing a story involving superheroes. The great thing about it is that he approaches this conventional topic from an unconventional direction, keeping all our attention devoted to the intrepid fan reporter rather than the hero himself. It ends up being a story about the way we build up dreams and, ultimately, what happens when we finally achieve them – for better or for worse.

The longest story in this compendium, SUPERMODEL takes its precious time getting to the climax, but makes up for the length by keeping us perpetually chasing a mystery. Samantha’s nonstop investigation and life story never cease to be interesting. The author flexes his emotional chops, somehow managing to get us just as excited, nervous and annoyed as Samantha is. The result is a riveting story from beginning to end.

And while the story ends where most would expect it to, it still maintains an interesting lesson in all the fantasy nonsense. It calls into question exactly why so many look to fictional heroes, and what their purpose is to us in our daily lives. It asks what we would do if we ever got the chance to meet our beloved heroes, and whether the meeting would even be half as great as we wish. It asks these questions and more, and for the most part does so without the actual questions being brought up.

SUPERMODEL is a fun little ride, and I can see why the author is so fond of it. It is most certainly a great inclusion in an already stellar literary showcase.

For Glory
Methoni thought he’d joined the war for the glory of his people, the Lamanites. But the more he watches, the more he hears, the less he feels what is happening is right. As his army marches through the dense jungles, he finds himself questioning everything he was raised to believe.

This is a complicated tale covering a range of topics, loyalty, faith, and morality chief among them. Methoni’s story is unquestionably interesting, if not exactly new ground for a war story. What is fresh is the setting, set in a time forgotten but most certainly real. For Glory is a piece of fiction set in a time and place not commonly addressed in modern literature, which gives the entirety of it a fantastical feel of make believe despite being rooted heavily in real-world history.

Some of the details can get confusing, especially when Methoni has the conversation with a prisoner. Alas, this was not something Florschutz could avoid if he wanted to maintain historical accuracy, so it can be forgiven. But for the uninitiated (i.e. most everyone), it can be tough to follow.

Ignoring that, this is a fantastic story about facing reality, seeking truths and making one’s own choices. I can see why the author is proud of it.

Final Thoughts
So, that’s it. I must say, this was a nice collection. I enjoyed all the stories to some degree, and particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding experiences. Out of all of these, I think I’d have to peg SUPERMODEL as my favorite, with Workday a close second. But every story brought something worthwhile to the table, rounding out an excellent collection. As always, I look forward to more.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good


Alternative Title:
Twilight is a Self-Defeating Wreck of a Pony with No Concept of Something Not Being Her Fault

I wish I didn’t currently have an ongoing, ~350,000 word story in my collection. That way I would be ignorant of how hard and time-consuming it is creating a worthwhile and extensively lengthed story. And if I was ignorant of that, then I could whine and groan and complain about how friggen long it’ll be before Monochromatic finishes the sequel in the year 2021. But I am not ignorant of these things, and so I must keep my trap shut in order to not appear as a giant, steaming pile of hypocrite.

The Enchanted Library puts us in an alternate universe where Twilight and Cadance were princesses alongside Celestia and Luna a thousand years ago. They were ultimately defeated by Discord, and according to legend Celestia, Twilight and Luna were each sealed away in different places in Equestria. Cadance, mysteriously, was left alone save for being cursed with a total inability to find her missing friends.

Fast forward to modern times, with Rarity in her traditional role of Ponyville seamstress. Rarity always had a fascination with ‘Princess Booky,’ but no longer really believes the stories. Who would? So when an unexpected trip through the Everfree Forest lands her before an ancient oak tree with a window and a trap door, well… it’s surely just an oddity. If she went down into the tunnel below, she almost certainly wouldn’t find a thousand-year-old library and an ethereal princess, right?

Yeah, you know where this is going.

The Enchanted Library is a wonderful piece of literature. It showcases a combination of skills, from worldbuilding to emotional scenes to well-crafted plot development. Best of all, the protagonist is a pitch-perfect Hopeless Romantic Rarity, and her characterization drives the story forward just as well as the twisting and turning of the plot does.

And not just Rarity, oh no. Twilight is also exemplary in her mannerisms. I found the princes to be far too defeatist in her worldview, though, and it severely hurt my ability to relate to her situation. I mean, everyone can agree that being trapped in an underground place for a millennium is terrible, but Twilight’s endless habit of kicking herself while she’s down made no sense to me. It gets to be downright eye-rolling in its inanity.

Despite this, Twilight still made a great counterpoint to Rarity’s optimism and determination, and Monochromatic took full advantage of their dichotomy. Their building relationship is a delight to behold. It’s hard to get tired of their relentless teasing of one another.

Then there is the adventure in and of itself. Yes, that adventure tag isn’t misplaced. Twilight may be locked in a library, but Rarity is the main character, and she’s free to do as she pleases. Luckily for us ‘as she pleases’ includes travelling all over Equestria seeking out a means of rescuing her darling princess, leading to confrontations with evil spirits, facing down dragons, getting chased around by changelings, and beinging unfairly thrown into an unusually high number of dungeons. The library is fun, but with worldbuilding, character growth and tricky situations galore, the rest of Equestria proves no slouch.

There are a number of curiosities happening throughout this story, things that make me wonder what Monochromatic is planning. Why does Discord not seem to care about whether or not Twilight is freed? We’ve seen evidence that Celestia is perfectly capable of defending against his chaos magic, so why is it she failed to stop his actions? If Discord now has free reign over Equestria, what has he been doing all this time other than watching the boring, daily drudgery?

Most important of all, who has he been talking to? Oh, yes, don’t think I forgot that moment, Mono. I think I know exactly who it is, but I won’t be saying anything because if I’m right then it’s superspoilers. But if I am right… well, it’ll prove something that I’ve been saying for a very long time.

And I’m going to have to wait for years to find out. Write faster, Mono. Write faster!

I’m sure it’s clear by now that I thoroughly enjoyed this. It’s got pretty much everything I could ask for: perfect pacing, layers upon layers of mystery, great characters with appropriate character building, troubled romance, cross-country adventure, solid writing, Rarity proving herself Best Mane 6 Pone, the list goes on and on. This is one of those exceedingly rare stories where I deeply regretting not being able to let myself power through it. My only regret is that I lack a time machine to let me go forward in time and see how this whole thing is going to end.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?


Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXV
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXVI
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXVII
Paul's, uh, Friday Reviews?
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXVIII
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Paul's Thursday Reviews XC
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Paul's Thursday Reviews XCIV

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Comments ( 23 )

I’ve only heard of Enchanted Library before on the fimfiction side.

I gotta make time to read some of Viking ZX’s original work. I’ve only ever heard good things about them.

TGM

Thank you for the review! I personally think a few things could have been improved, but I'm glad to see that you enjoyed it nonetheless!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I hope that, when you find fantastic and underappreciated stories like that, you send them to Seattle's Angels. That's totally their shtick.

4696049
I second this! We're always hunting for stories but it's great if people also recommend stuff to us. Helps us get a good list to poor over if we're ever in need.

There are some rules, though. Nothing too recent (I think a year's needed since a story's been posted for it to qualify) and the views have to be below 1,500. 1,000 or less is better, though.

Thanks for taking the time to review my story! I'm glad that you liked it, and I hope I can keep improving as I go :pinkiehappy: Really it made me so happy to see such a positive review!

Twilight is a Stupid, Self-Defeating Wreck of a Pony with No Concept of Something Not Being Her Fault

As is true of most people trapped in a cycle of abuse.

I could never summarize The Enchanted Library like this. I think my followup was something like... 30,000 words? You, sir, have a gift. (Also? SQUEEEEEEEEE for EL.) :duck::twilightsmile:

Huzzah! Thanks for the review! I need to hurry up and publish some more stuff—you're almost caught up!

Part of the fun of a short story collection is seeing what stories resonated with different readers, and while SUPERMODEL seems to be leading the pack there, I am pleased that you enjoyed Workday so much. You didn't mention it in the review, and I'm not sure if you read all the introductions, but that particular story was a birthday gift for my dad, who until then continually hounded me for not writing any story about the fishing labor I'd grown up doing.

For the record, he loved it, and has not hounded me about writing a fishing story since.

Anyway, I'm glad you got a lot of enjoyment out of Unusual Events. I greatly enjoyed seeing your reaction to each story in the collection and what you thought about each compared to the others or other short stories out there. It's always nice to see someone go into depth on each story rather than just "I liked this one, I didn't like this one" or worse "This book had stories!" I mean those are nice, but as both a reader of short story collections and the creator of this one, knowing what I can expect from a collection's stories is the way to go.

Side note: I actually agree with you on A Miner Haunting (SUCH a shameless pun, but I will not apologize). It's not bad ... but it's nothing amazing. I'd had enough people ask about the line in Dead Silver I knew it was worth exploring, but at the same time the same reasons it wasn't its own thing in Dead Silver are the same reasons it's not spectacular. It's got some nice moments, like you said, but it is a bit hobbled by Jacob Rocke's own temporary limitations. I agree with you. Oh, and I agree that Rocke is a bit robotic too. I hadn't thought of it that way, but now that you've said it like that, it does highlight to me why his jaded, hard-boiled detective-styling weakened the story here. He's not a character type suited to a "bottle episode," that's for sure!

Um ... what else. Oh! Ripper does lead into Shadow of an Empire, which hopefully will be out before the years end. Complications with Jungle have pushed it back, but I'm hoping it'll still make at least December. But you will see Varay again ... though not as a primary cast member, sadly. Sorry! But she plays a part! And there will be more set in that world in the future—I've enjoyed it and its magic system thoroughly!

This is getting long. Thanks for the review! I love reading them! I'll see what I can do to get some more writing out and in your hands!

Actually, I'm going to write out a full comment in response to that tagline on your EL review, because it's been bugging me all day.

People don't get to an endless state of defeatism in a vacuum. It happens when circumstances or people in their lives have led them to believe that they're never enough and that they're always screwing something up. When this is the narrative consistently dealt to you for the vast majority of your life and you've had little in the way of help to fight against it, how can you possibly believe anything else?

The endless self-blame exhibited by Twilight is a symptom of guilt—some self-inflicted, some inflicted by others. It's completely justified when you realize how much pressure she was under, how many people blame her for what happened, and how much was at stake—the lives of millions of people in several nations. The decisions rested with her, she made the best ones she could given the circumstances, and they still had horrible results that affected the lives of generations of people to come. Including the life she was trying to save the most—Discord's.

Despite everything she did, despite trying so hard to win him over, despite making herself emotionally vulnerable to him, a failure of communication and a gross misunderstanding made him blame her for all of the injustices dealt upon him by Equestria and its people. Even worse, his retaliation wasn't just against her, but almost everyone she loved for it. Spike, Cadance, Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadance's unborn foal, all of their friends and family...

His betrayal hit her where she was weakest, and it hit her hard. Even if she wasn't quite to "blame", even if her actions were understandable, it doesn't change what happened afterwards. She was still the one who orchestrated the events that led to Discord doing what he did. And she's had to live with the insurmountable weight of those consequences for the last thousand years.

So, in a way, of course you can't relate to it. None of us can. Not being able to relate to the plight of the abused doesn't make them stupid, especially when we can't fully comprehend the circumstances that led them to that state. Ridiculing them for blaming themselves does nothing but reinforce their guilt, strip them of their will and motivation to fight it off, shove them deeper into the endless spiral of self-defeatism, and keep them from ever seeking out the help they need. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that just makes everything so much worse.

People who've been abused don't need our judgment, they need our support. That's almost the whole point of EL, and it proves that point by demonstrating how Rarity becomes exactly what Twilight so desperately needs to break her chains and free herself from the cycle of abuse.

It's a really insensitive tagline to an otherwise spot-on review.

Celestia's and Luna's Worthlessness Revealed!
Celestia and Luna are trapped in stone! They can do nothing to save themselves!

...why is the sun still setting?

Because they were only encased in stone. According to Discord, that still leaves you aware. Presumably, Celestia's connection to the sun remained intact.

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I’ve only heard of Enchanted Library before on the fimfiction side.

This statement confuses me.

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You are more than welcome!

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Huh. I'd never even considered that. Perhaps I shall start doing so.

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Oh, yes, I read the introductory bits, I just didn't say anything related to them because they aren't what I was reviewing. Good to know your dad loved the story! My Mom wants me to write a children's story featuring the animals of southern Louisiana, so that's my personal parent-oriented mission to achieve someday.

Anyway, looking forward to reading more! Still patiently waiting for that next Dusk Guard story, btw. :raritywink:

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I thought of that possibility afterwards, but I find it dubious. If being trapped in stone doesn't keep you from using your magic, why wasn't Discord wreaking all sorts of havoc wherever he'd been placed? Granted, it could be that the means of petrification were entirely different, and thus the rules were different. And if Celestia has the magical ability to move the sun and be aware of everything around her, why didn't she just zap the Storm King and Tempest into cinders the instant they were in the same room together? Or heck, just blast Tempest at any given opportunity. If she's too goody-four-hooves to do it, I'm willing to bet Luna wouldn't have had any reservations.

Clearly, they can still use their magic. Clearly, they can use that magic over great distances. And if we follow your claim that they can still sense things around them, then a being as versed in magic as either of them should have been able to recognize a target vs., say, Twilight.

Yeah, still moving for a vote of no confidence.

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So I slept on this to think about my options and not immediate respond in a way that would almost certainly make me look like the bad guy in this situation. I've come to the conclusion that trying to argue your points is, to wit, pointless. I will lose most of the arguments, any argument I win will be worthless in the face of how many other points I won't win, and even if I did have a rock-hard defense it's clear to me you wouldn't budge in your views. So let's just get to the one and only observation I can talk about.

It appears to me (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) that the only reason this intensely negative response came about is because I used the word 'stupid' to describe Twilight's behavior. Part of me wants to stand by this, but then I think about Twilight as an individual and realize that, for all her smarts, she does tend to pin more on herself than actually makes sense. So yeah, I suppose the use of that single word was in error, and I apologize. Heck, I'll even remove it. That's not something I allow often, but for once I feel like your offense is justified.

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I personally think of it as the sun was set on a course already, and continued to follow that until given other instructions.

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Wouldn't that make Celestia raising the sun every morning redundant?

I suppose it's possible all she's really doing is making sure it's on the right path. Like a car driver subconsciously shifting the wheel.

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Of the stories that are on Fimfiction in this review, The Enchanted Library is the only one on I've ever heard of before.

I specified Fimfiction because Viking ZX is a cool dude, and I know of his original work despite having not read it yet.

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Ooooh, okay then. It was the "FIMFiction side" that had me confused, really.

Also, does Mack know you've borrowed his first name?

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Of course he doesn't know! Why would I tell him I stole borrowed his name.

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Ah. Just checking.

*glad his half-joke was understood*

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I think of it as getting a sleepy child out of bed, and pushing them out the door to start their day, then at night putting them back to bed. But, even if mommy didn't get them up, if she's still in the house, watching, they manage to follow a basic routine, albeit reluctantly. Mind you, that's what it's like to have the sun as your talent. A random pony trying to raise the sun is like fighting a pissed off bull.

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That's an interesting way of looking at it. Is this purely metaphor, or do you mean to suggest the sun and moon actually have a certain level of awareness?

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To Celestia and Luna they certainly seem to. But that could be a bit of equinization on their part. The part about it being easier when that's your talent is certainly true. Also, we've seen that without somepony actively 'watching' them, they stop in their path. When the chaos seeds prevented them from using any magic, that's what happened. Likewise when Celestia and Luna transferred all of their magic to Twilight. So the fact that the sun and moon continued to move tells me that they were alive, somewhat aware, and able to keep the cycle going.

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It's just a plot hole. The people who made the movie are completely separate from the FiM team proper, so I'd be surprised if they even knew about the whole "Celestia raising the Sun" thing. Hell, wasn't there even a recent episode in the actual show where Celestia was surprised by how difficult it is to raise the Moon? Despite having done it for a thousand years prior? I dunno, I've not seen it, it's just what I read.

It's oddball justifications like this that got us the "ponies naturally live for hundreds of years because that one line from Winter Wrap Up and Granny Smith herpaderp" nonsense.

I'unno, I'm just callin it like I'm seein it

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Now you are being silly. When you see something wrong with the show you are supposed to bend over backwards to justify it, because the show can do no wrong. Starlight and Flurry Heart were definitely not mistakes made by a staff needing to create extra characters for toys and to carry storyline, for instance. Here, drink this Kool-aid, it helps.

In all seriousness though, I do believe that particular plothole is explainable by existing lore.

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