• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

PresentPerfect


Writer, RCL co-curator, EQD prereader, dramatic reader, VA, fic reviewer. Vote for my next fic to release!


T
Source

It's a bright and sunny springtime day in Ponyville, the perfect kind of day for Twilight Sparkle to visit her new friend Fluttershy.

Also, did you know horses poop fifteen times a day?

Takes place in Season 1. Rated "Gore" for gratuitous gross bodily functions.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 53 )
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Just posted, already got a downvote. XD

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8546485
butt y :V

JackRipper
Story Approver

Why.

So what you're saying is Fluttershy is totally full of shit. :V

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

This is certainly something that I read.

butt what did twilight actually say to her?!?!? :pinkiegasp:

Estee #10 · 1 week ago · · ·

This story officially forfeits your right to post "Damn it, Estee," in a Comments section again. Permanently.

kits #11 · 1 week ago · · ·

You must expand on this!

We need a heartfealt shipping story. Set in this universe. Where small horses poop.

15 times a day.

First I was like:

What the hell?

After reading this:

What the hell?

I thought this smelled seemed familiar. Should've known it came from a fibrous Writeoff nugget.

And I'm going to have to second 8546521. You've forfeited the right to post "Damn it, (author name)" regardless of who fills that blank.

Comment posted by geb deleted November 12th

It's the audience at the Wonderbolts show I really feel sorry for.

Where did Super Trampoline touch you... was it the brain?

I approve of this story, but . . .

Needs more poop.
💩💩💩💩
Why did Knighty let us have emojis?

Neece #19 · 1 week ago · · ·

Damn it, Present Perfect.

This makes me feel better about placing in the middle third of that writeoff.

I hate myself for liking this. :ajbemused:

Sometimes being alive just feels..... Right.

I gave it a like.

Now let us never speak of this again.

Beyond the WTF factor, this reminds me a tiny bit about the old PC RPG Albion, actually.

It came out in... 96, I think? Old~ game, at any rate. And it had these Kajit looking cat-folk people that among other cultural oddities, get this, just didn't have the nudity taboo of us slash the in-game humans.

For some strange reason, I can't imagine why, this took the form of all the males wearing 'only' loincloths, while the females wore either classical togas (as in, one boob on full display) or topless. :trixieshiftleft:

And it was... surprisingly good and tastefully done, actually. Really hit you right in the face and made your jaw drop the first time you saw it, but after that initial shock it was just something the cat folk people did differently becuse they're simply not humans, and you got used to it.

So, yeah, kinda just made me start wondering how'd this would work played straight in, say, HiE story. Think that would be one heck of a shock to mix up the rather—pardon the pun, stagnant sub-genera. :twilightoops:

Posh #25 · 1 week ago · · ·

What a bunch of horseshit.

8546549
Leave me out of this.
I do have something worse coming up though

RBDash47
Site Blogger

For maximum* authenticity, I read this on the toilet.

5/7 would poop again

*maximum possible in modern polite society

8546630
Maximum authenticity would be reading it while walking outside, pooping as you went.

RBDash47
Site Blogger

8546641
Fair point; I have edited to reflect my less-than-maximum authenticity

RBDash47
Site Blogger

8546525
It should ship Rarity with the plumber who finally installs a toilet in the Boutique

I remember this. It's just as shitty as I remember.

I read this .. I new better, there was adequate warning. "But I didn't listen!"

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Such a shit story.

What the shit? :rainbowlaugh:

8546641

Or, for the thrill seekers, you could pair reading the last lines with performing a successful Cannonball Dookie. YOLO!

WELP.

That happened.

Though honestly you'd think tiny horse civilization would have developed indoor plumbing. Or sanitation. Or chamber pots.

8547147
At the very least they have outhouses as one is shown in "the last roundup". I don't even wanna know what kinda condition Pinkie and Applejack left that thing in.

8546530
Honestly, I don’t know if anyone can truly lose that right. I mean... there is always better worse things that can be published. This can’t be the best worst masterwork travesty that could be posted, right? Right? :rainbowderp:

This came out before I ever heard of Mister Hanky.
You're welcome.

I liked it.

Who would write such a thing? :twilightoops:

Go to church

I've been almost totally inactive on FIMFic for three months, and this is the first complete story I read upon coming back.

I think I'd upvoted and downvoted about seven times before I finally decided what was the appropriate rating. :facehoof:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

:rainbowlaugh: Good thing I read this before dinner and not after. :rainbowlaugh:

Reading this while eating a snickers bar
I cant finish it

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8550373
You are home, my son.

first i asked "why" but then i thought "why not"

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