Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

FoME's Most Valuable Princess (Kris Overstreet's "For Love of the Love of the Game")

Author's Note:

[Random]

This is a continuation of Kris Overstreet's For Love of the Love of the Game (5,480 words, [Comedy])

FOR LOVE OF THE LOVE OF SPOILERS: Hondo Flanks, Rarity's father, is set to play in the Super Drome... as part of the Detrot Lions. Against the Neigh England Patriots Canterlot Suns. In what will likely be the last game of a long and less than storied career. Then his back goes out on the day of the game. Rarity volunteers to play for him at right tackle, which goes about as well as you expect... up until the defensive linepony she's failing to stop tells "Hondo" how he's a failure as a father. At that point, the game devolves into the Suns versus an avatar of the Pale Horse, with the Lions scoring as much as they can in the confusion. The story ends with Hondo's contract renewed and Rarity in traction as she recovers from the punishment she put her body through.

Of particular note is something Kris mentioned about hoofball uniforms: They bind pegasus wings for the sake of fairness.

Some time after Hondo left Rarity to her rest, several more visitors came to her hospital bed. Two moved with the dignity and grace borne of long practice. The last seemed to be carrying their awkwardness for them, along with plenty of her own and a few nights' worth of sleeplessness.

"Pleased as I am to see another addition to our ranks," said Princess Luna, "I must confess that this is not how I imagined the fair Rarity would earn her wings."

Twilight muttered something rendered insensible by shock, concern, and caffeine.

"It comes as a surprise to me as well," said Celestia. "If the doctors hadn't sent X-rays with their letter, I'm not sure if I would have believed them."

"Indeed. Given the last pony to ascend through sublime berserkergang, this—"

"This happened before!?" cried Twilight. "And neither of you told me!? Do you know how long I've spent trying to figure out how this happened?"

Luna quirked an eyebrow at her. "It has been quite some time since the last Princess of War claimed her throne, Twilight Sparkle. The details were foggy in even my memory."

Twilight blinked. A few more hairs found a way to spring loose, putting her mane a step away from Pinkie Pie's. "Princess of what now?"

Rarity interjected with as much of a Death Whinny as the current state of her rib cage allowed.

"Oh. Yeah. I can see that now." Twilight gulped, tail between her legs. "Do either of you know where the nearest bathroom is?"

Comments

[Malandy]

... That ending!

So, 4 Horses of the Apocalypse? How do you ascend as Pestilence, Death, or Famine?? *shrug*

OH! Death = White Horse of War!

[EonAon]

8804001
actually its historical that death rode a pale horse, unless of course that the author isn't referencing This

[Malandy]

8804395

Whoops, I went researching mid-write. Yeah, I looked up the horses of the apocalypse and White = War, Pale = Death, etc.

Thanks!

[Georg]

In other news, bladed shoulderpads are in, and red is the new fall color. Blood-red.

Rarity is going to retake the fashion world by storm. And plunder.

[horizon]

Things I learned via Google after reading this chapter:

"Combat Marshmallow" also happens to be a microbrew double stout.

[Darkstarling]

Good branding and snazzy uniforms are crucial to any Army of Doom. Even the Storm King knew that.

[CrystalWaters]

Luna quirked an eyebrow at her. "It has been quite some time since the last Princess of War claimed her throne, Twilight Sparkle. The details were foggy in even my memory."

Rarity interjected with as much of a Death Whinny as the current state of her rib cage allowed.

I never knew Bad Horse was a Princess...

[CrystalWaters]

8804001

How do you ascend as Pestilence, Death, or Famine?? *shrug*

The rail-thin alicorn circled above the village like the vulture its wings resembled and in a voice as grey as its hide cried out. "Two pounds of wheat for the flour, and six hooves of berries for the mix, and do not spill the sugar and milk!"

Down below in the Apple Farm, the Elements discussed the crisis.
"It's the second time this week" Applejack grumbled.

"Gummy knocked over the batter again,"Pinkie Pie apologised. "He's really sorry about it."

"Do not spill the sugar and milk!" The alicorn screeched.

"So how much longer until Dash gets here with some more muffins?" Applejack asked, looking towards Canterlot mountain.

"Muffins?" Derpy, the (temporary) Alicorn of Famine asked excitedly. Applejack sighed.