Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

FoME and Krack-Fic Kai's Dazed and Distracted, Can't You Tell? (Estee's "Coin-Operated Mare")

Author's Note:

[Romance][Comedy]

This is an offshoot of Estee's Coin-Operated Mare (12,392 words, [Comedy][Slice of Life][Sex])

COIN-OPERATED SPOILERS: Twilight discovers a coin in the library late fees that doesn't correspond to the currency of any known country. She eventually finds her way to the source... an erotica shop where the proprietor has them made special for the dress show. (It's like a strip show, but for creatures with no nudity taboo.) Twilight being Twilight, she makes fast friends with the dresser, who's a lit major doing this to get through college.

A question arose in the comments: Just how many dates can Twilight go on before she recognizes that she's dating somepony?

(FoME)

Twilight Sparkle's mind operated on numerous different levels at once, and any of them could finish its work and come to a conclusion at any given time. Thus, one night, she blinked, frowned, put down her book, and said, "Belle?"

Belles-Lettres looked over at her, putting down her own book. "Yes, Twilight?"

"Are..." Twilight bit her lip. "Are we, you know, dating?"

The white unicorn blinked, then brushed her blue mane out of her eyes to better stare at Twilight. Then her gaze panned to the bed they were sharing, the ring around Twilight's horn, and the wedding photo on the nightstand before she finally said, "Twilight, our second anniversary is next week."

---

(Krack-Fic Kai)

Twilight's grin stretched taut as she sat across from Rarity. "So, remember my best friend I mentioned?"

"Ah yes," Rarity said. "Your 'best friend' Belle."

"Right."

"The one I put in quotation marks, and you assured me was just a friend."

"Uh-huh."

"The one you went remarkably far out of your way to assure me was merely a friend, and that nothing untoward was occurring."

"Right."

"The one whom you said was so straight you'd donate your entire collection to charity if she was interested in mares—"

"Well, the whole time we were together she never showed interest in one!"

"Ah," Rarity said, leaning forwards. "Together."

Twilight shifted uncomfortably.

Rarity waited.

"...I need help picking a gift," Twilight finally said, "and it needs to be special."

"How special?"

"I forgot our last anniversary, so this is my turn."

Comments

[Speckle]

[Georg]

Nerds in love.

[Hopeful_Ink_Hoof]

A major plothole with this just occurred to me. How did they get married without Twilight realizing?

[FanOfMostEverything]

9999473
She was resolving a quantumantic paradox, negotiating two peace treaties, and planning Shining and Cadence's anniversary. She had barely enough mental processing power to say "I do;" Rarity guided her through most of the ceremony.

[CrystalWaters]

9999513
"A wedding?" Twilight asked uncertainly, looking aside at her writing desk. "It would be nice to have some time away from the roaming rights treaty. Can I wear my dress from the Gala or should I wear something new?"

Rarity didn't twitch at all; She'd practised for this conversation with her sister. "Yes Twilight, I think a new dress would be an amazing idea. I happen to have a beautiful white dress all ready and waiting in my boutique for you."

"White? Rarity, I'm not too sure-"

"Twilight... darling. White will be perfect."

"Well, if you think so. Oh! I can invite Belle as my plus one!" Twilight smiled happily. "She's been talking about weddings for months."

Rarity smiled too. This was far more painful than her practise sessions.

[Crack-Fic Casey]

"Look, it's not like I was basing this on nothing!" Twilight rather defensively insisted. "We had a whole conversation about stallions!"

Rarity kept smiling, like a cat watching a clever mouse work out how to leave the protection of its cage. "And who initiated this discussion?"

"Well— I did, I guess. I asked her what she thought of this singer at a bar we were at— I was a little drunk at the time, and she didn't seem that against it. Come to think of it," she continued, "she did talk to him! Why would she do that if we were secretly dating?"

"Secretly engaged."

"That!" Twilight threw up her hooves. "She went home with— well, I think she went home with him? She looked so disappointed when I went home alone."

Rarity waited.

Realization struck like a brick to the face that precede a lot more, much heavier bricks. "Oh."

"Yes, well," Rarity said, "if you can find someone else willing, you'll have a nice surprise for her...