Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

The Iguana Man's Dashing Sincerity (Monochromatic's "The Grand RariShip Council")

Author's Note:

[Romance][Comedy][Drama]

This is a prequel to Monochromatic's The Grand RariShip Council (1,024 words, [Romance][Comedy])

THE GRAND RARISHIP SPOILERS: After a Twilight accidentally creates a subdimension where different iterations of the same person can meet, several Rarities who are each dating a different Bearer of Harmony quickly form a social club. One meeting in particular has everyone but Raritwi showing up fashionably late... and Raridash in particular had a rather bothersome reason for her delay.

Once upon a time, Rarity thought, things were different.

Oh, her smoke alarm would still be shrieking, smoke would still be wafting out of her kitchen windows, and a carbonized stench not unlike Spike with an upset stomach would still fill the air, but at least she wouldn't be married to the one responsible.

Rainbow Dash, still in midair and flapping to ventilate the room, gave a smile marred by uncertainty and the soot in her coat. "Er, okay, Bae, I know you're probably pretty mad at me right now."

Rarity felt an eyelid twitch hard enough to shift her false lashes. "Oh, the only things 'pretty' here are the usual - I am exceptionally angry with you. Yo—"

Rainbow held up her hooves. "I know, I know, I'm kinda banned from the kitchen after the cream brolly incident..."

"For the hundredth time, it's crème brûlée, and furthermore, there's nothing 'kinda' about it. You are expressly banned due to—"

"The fact I always screw up in here, I know. It's just..." Rainbow sighed and looked to the table, where two plates sat amid the stains and one still-smoldering patch of tablecloth. "This is something I know I can make." She gave a hapless laugh. "Pretty much the only thing I can."

Rarity blinked and turned to the meal. Now that most of the smoke had been blown out, she had to admit, there was a more appetizing aroma underneath. "Oh?"

"Yeah, toasted haybacon-and-egg sandwiches - easy. Or, they should be..." Dash grimaced as she took in the state of the rest of the kitchen. "But I didn't know where everything was cause I'm not allowed in here and I left it too long and... yeah."

Rarity granted Rainbow a single, slow nod. "Alright, not the most sophisticated fare, and I can see how you might have intended things, but I'm still not clear on exactly why."

"Well, I wanted to do something nice for you after I..." Rainbow's face twisted into the familiar grimace she wore when forced to recognize her imperfections. "You know, called all those other Rarities lame for dating other ponies."

"Really not helping your case, dearie," Rarity said flatly.

"I know, that was so not cool of me... even if you are the awesomest Rarity by, like, twenty billion percent." Rainbow's wide grin held up for all of two seconds before falling flat. "But, anyway, I wanted to make up for that."

"With toasted sandwiches? I can think of other ways to apologize..." Rarity leaned in close. The sandwiches looked harmless enough, though she wasn't entirely sure about how that cheese was bubbling. "Ways that don't involve defying both household and, if that legislation passes, national law."

"Yeah, I guess, it's just..."

Rarity turned back. Whatever expression she'd expected, Rainbow blushing like the night they'd confessed wasn't it. "It's just what?"

"It's just this meal's kinda... special to me, you know. Reason I know how to do it's cause my parents'd always make it for me whenever I was down and I just..." Rainbow sighed, landed, and began to trudge towards the Boutique's entrance. "I just wanted to share it with you. It was dumb, I'm sorry."

Rarity watched her go for a few beats, neither of them saying anything. The smoke alarm finally settled down, leaving a ringing silence in its wake.

And then Rarity charged across the shop floor to grab her fillyfriend in a tight embrace. "Sun-dammit! One day, Rainbow... One day, I swear on my life, I will find it within myself to stay mad at you. But it seems today is not that day!"

Rainbow, for her part, looked like she'd gotten blindsided by a fully laden cart. "Huh?"

"Oh, you're still going to have this clean and restored by the time I get back from the meeting if you don't want to be on the couch until the next one." Rarity's scowl softened to a half-lidded smirk. "Buuuut if you do manage it... well, let's just say still sleeping in our bed may have some... extra perks."

It took a moment for Rainbow to process that. Enough that Rarity let her go and took a few steps back. But sure enough, she sprang back up, snapped off a salute, and barked out, "Yes, Ma'am! On it, Ma'am! Kitchen will be clean, repaired and unused, Ma'am!"

Rarity nodded. "That's my filly. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some alter egos to vent to."

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