Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

TasermonsPartner's Business as Usual (Rune Soldier Dan's "A Band of Misfits Fights the Undead")

Author's Note:

[Comedy][Random][Equestria Girls]

This is an offshoot of Rune Soldier Dan's A Band of Misfit Losers Hunt the Undead (29,688 words at time of publishing, [EqG][Violence][Comedy][Random][Slice of Life])

A FAN OF MOST EVERYTHING SUMMARIZES THE STORY: A college-age Sunset and her friends follow Principal Celestia's example, hunting down that which goes bump in the night and bumping back. Though sometimes Earth's supernatural phenomena are harmless, like the herd of kirin living at Sweet Apple Acres.

Once Sunset recovered from Rain Shine's inadvertent attempt to crush her to death, she felt she had to say something. "Applejack, first you didn't tell us about the giant moles, and now the kirin? I need you to make a list of any and all unusual creatures that visit or live in the orchard."

Applejack nodded and kept rubbing one kirin behind the ears. "Sure thing, Sunset."

---

One month later, both young women found themselves huddled behind one of the trees at Sweet Apple Acres as the sounds of combat echoed behind them.

"Seriously, AJ!" Sunset shouted as she reloaed. "Why didn't you write about the crab apples being literal hermit crabs the size of compact cars that use old hollowed-out apple trees for shells when I told you to make that list!?"

Both paused as the whoosh of a flamethrower, crackling wood, and paguroidean hissing drowned out any response Applejack might have made. Once she could be heard again, she said, "Ya done told me to only put unusual critters on the list!"

Sunset jerked a thumb behind their cover. "How is that not unusual!?"

"Don't most apple orchards have 'em?"

Sunset took a moment to just stare at her friend. "If most apple orchards were infested by land-dwelling crustaceans that could overturn a tractor, don't you think they'd be in books or on nature documentaries or something!?"

Applejack shrugged. "Just always figured they were too boring to mention" Both ducked and covered as a gas tank exploded behind them. She shouted to keep herself her heard. "Why watch some dumb ol' crab apples when ya could watch a documentary on penguins or aardvarks instead? Now those are interestin'!"

Comments

[EonAon]

from her perspective shes not wrong

[Georg]

Ooo, penguins!

[Emil]

10533448
AJ's favorite documentary was the one about the penguins that crushed sno-bees between ice blocks.