Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

AdmiralTigerclaw's Letter from the Erector (Estee's "The Bridge Over The River WHY?")

Author's Note:

[Slice of Life][Epistolary][OSHA Compliant]

This is a follow-up to Estee's The Bridge Over The River WHY? (8,947 words, [Comedy][Slice of Life])

SPOILERS OVER THE RIVER WHAT: Celestia commissions a new bridge across the river at the foot of Canterlot, and to cut off any bright ideas from dim bulbs, tells the architect to disregard any messages that don't magically appear in a burst of light. Well, dragonfire certainly emits light.

Suffice to say, events proceed from there.

MASS RESPONSE LETTER:

Dear EVERYONE (Yes, that includes you, Princess Luna),

It has come to my attention that quite a few of you have many things to say about the project I am currently working on. As such I have been bombarded with a number of, shall we say, 'colorful' messages regarding your needs leveraged against the perception of my competency. Allow me to make something clear:

Sod off, and stop bothering my stallions!

As with all state-approved projects, estimations for materials, money, time, and hoof-power were established, refined, and approved before project start. Traffic considerations and estimations on growth for the next five decades were taken into account, and safety standards are in line with Royal Construction Mandate Document CC48 Section 7, part 12. In specific, the bridge falls under a class four medium heavy-weight traffic crossing, mandating slopes of no more than 8 degrees with a height not to exceed treetop level (or forty feet) without appropriate anti-collision illumination for what is considered MNPCA (Minimum Nighttime Pegasus Cruise Altitude). (Thus, it is to be concluded that one night princess would be flying at what is legally considered dangerously, and recklessly low altitude according to the modern Skylark Modern Safety Standard. And if she has a problem with this, she can take it up with the EFA.) Further, this bridge is designed to adhere to a class 3 river flow durability standard, with clearance for both anti-blockage, as well as small boat or ferry passage. And of course, the bridge adhere's to Section 8 of the Anti-Troll-Bridge act, and there contains no spacing for creatures of any kind persist out of sight of travelers.

I was contracted to build a bridge, not babysit a bunch of foals.

Signed,
Engineer Foremane Brownhoof
Brownhoof and Stainless Construction Inc.

Comments

[TwinAttorney864]

This was a surprisingly well-thought-out add-on. You added JUST enough legal vocab to make it sound legit, and anystory involving bureaucracy is always a fun one in my book!

[Georg]

An excellent addition to repel the *other* kind of bridge trolls.