Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

FoME and Raugos's Magnetically Repulsive (Raugos's "Iron Dust")

Author's Note:

[Slice of Life][Comedy][Implied Gore]

This is a follow-up to Raugos's Iron Dust. (6,046 words, [Slice of Life])

IRON WILL IS NOT LIABLE FOR READING BEYOND THIS POINT: An older, scarred, washed-out-of-the-Washouts Lightning Dust goes to Iron Will's Manehattan business looking for performance enhancers. She finds the best manager she could ask for, especially for the stunts nopony in their right mind would even consider, much less perform.

(FoME)

The Council of Friendship meetings were how Twilight and her dearest friends made sure they stayed in touch, but those weren't the only times she saw them. She tried to visit Ponyville whenever she could, which wasn't as often as she liked. They in turn made a point of saying hello whenever they where in Canterlot. Only on rare occasion did she issue an official summons for a friend.

Shining Armor sending her a mugshot for a familiar face constituted such an occasion.

Rainbow Dash considered the photo, the arrest warrant, and the eye-catching newspaper clipping. ”'Plainly Potty Pegasus Performs Preposterous Polar Pyrotechnics.'" She nodded to herself and did the last thing Twilight expected, even after years of knowing her.

She grinned. "Good for her.”

Twilight flinched back on her throne. “Rainbow, that’s awful!”

“Come on, this is Lightning Dust we’re talking about." Dash smacked the newspaper with the wing that wasn't holding it. "That minotaur's the only reason she hasn’t actually killed herself during one of these stunts. She’s living her best life and doing it in a way that nopony will be stupid enough to treat her as a role model.”

That got a frown. “I can’t help but feel like you’re underestimating equine stupidity.”

Dash shook her head. “Nah, next press conference I do, I just gotta say..." Dash rose to attention, staring past imaginary press ponies into the middle distance, and in an uncomfortably familiar lecturing tone, said, "that she, a trained if reckless professional, avoided the following horrible injuries that she and anypony attempting the same routine could have done to themselves." She relaxed and beamed. "I even commissioned some artists’ renditions of the nastier ones!”

“That’s also awful,” Twilight deadpanned.

“And it keeps ponies safe." As a testament to her hard-won maturity, Dash maintained the more serious expression for almost ten seconds before smirking. "Plus, I’m gonna sign ‘em and send ‘em to Dusty. Just to show I care.”

Princesses didn't snort. The guards were trained well enough to support that. “You are a strange mare, Rainbow Dash.”

Dash grinned. “Wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have if I weren’t a little crazy. Just like you.”

Twilight gave a lopsided smile of her own. “I really wish I could dispute that.”

---

(Raugos)

Lightning Dust took one look at the lavishly horrific drawings and pumped a forehoof. "Aww yeah! She's totally mad. She just can't take it, haha!"

"Iron Will is not sure," said Iron Will, rubbing his chin. "She never says anything bad about you in press conferences."

"Her friend is the Princess of Friendship, so she can't. She has to resort to sending me thinly-disguised death threats while pretending to be the bigger mare." Lightning laughed so hard, she ended up lying on her back, legs wheeling in the air. "She's coping so hard, it's hilarious!"

Comments

[FredMSloniker]

Well, you know what they say: you can lead a horse to wisdom...

[Lurks-no-More]

11601065
... but you can't make them be awesome!

That's how it goes, right? Right?