Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

MrNumbers's Sovereign Imposition (MrNumbers's "An Apple a Day Keeps Autocracy Away")

Author's Note:

[Slice of Life]

This is a semi-official continuation of MrNumbers's An Apple a Day Keeps Autocracy Away (6,896 words, [Comedy])

AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS SPOILERS AWAY: Princess Celestia enters her throne room to find that she's been usurped by Big Macintosh. Her attempts to justify her reign reveal her to be centuries out of date and hopelessly out of touch, and her attempted countercoup falls apart when she sends five random ponies to do her dirty work rather than six. Meanwhile, Princess Macintosh wins the hearts and minds of all Equestria with a single speech. Celestia eventually starts plowing Sweet Apple Acres with solar lasers.

The rest of the bucket followed shortly after. Luna stood above Celestia, wild-eyed, panting furiously, managing to make even her fluffy pink slippers look haggard.

"Tia!" She cried in relief.

"Same nightmare again," Celestia smacked her lips together as she lifted herself off her eminently soggy pillow, shaking the ice cubes out of her mane.

"I tried to wake you but you were... persistent," Luna apologized profusely, dropping the bucket to the floor and kicking it to a corner of the room where it could do no further harm, "While I’m flattered you still go to me in your dreams for counsel, it makes it that much harder to assist you with magic. More mundane means seemed to do the trick.” A chunk of ice rolled down the back of Celestia’s neck, awfully enough. “You know what caused it, yes?"

Celestia's poker face was much better in the waking world. Unfortunately, in the waking world, her sister was also much better at seeing through it. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Luna ripped the covers off the bed. Underneath the blanket was a lazily capped pen and a sheet of papers for, yes, the new legislature for adjusted tax brackets for lottery winners with conditions given to late teenagers for holding the money in escrow accounts with a rider for cleaner waters in catfish estuaries.

"It was some light reading," Celestia lied, "it helps me sleep."

Luna didn't even reply to that. Just raised her eyebrow. Now she knew where her idea of Macintosh's raise came from.

That was the problem with being so long-lived, Celestia bit the inside of her cheek. Your nightmares had a lot more to draw from the subconscious, because she had simply collected so much of it over the years.

"That you had also taken the budgetary reports for small town libraries and stationary warehousing to bed with you the last time this happened...?"

"Purely coincidence. Nothing more."

"And three days prior, with the district rezoning for school districts in inner urban areas...?"

"The work needs to get done, and there just aren't enough hours in the day, Lulu."

"Yes, and whose fault is that?"

Celestia frowned, her soggy hair doing its best to dry itself with its own inner heat, the waviness fighting desperately to lift against three ice cubes and about an absorbed liter of spring water.

She always did this whenever the Grand Galloping Gala was coming up, dreadful thing. Dreadful ponies with too-firm hoofshakes trying to apply the techniques of a sociopathic business seminar from three decades ago. The idea of the Princess they wanted her to be, thought her to be...

Celestia’s nightmares weren’t anything so simple as gnashing teeth or bottomless pits. No, they had to be an ingenious torture device constructed by the one mind that knew her best.

“Thank you,” she said to Luna sincerely.

Luna muttered to herself. “Yes, well,” she added, picking up another bucket, “I’m afraid I must rather be off, then. I’m needed elsewhere.”

A lock of dripping hair danced like cooked spaghetti in front of Celestia’s right eye. Attempting to blow it out of her face just resulted in a weak raspberry, and another strand falling over her left eye. “Twilight having the book burning dream again?”

“No, actually,” Luna remarked, her horn starting to glow with a charging teleport, "It’s Macintosh. He's having a strange nightmare where you're an idiot and he has to fix Equestria. He's up to the part where he has to give a big speech, but he only knows two words for some reason."

Comments

[Ice Star]

8489881
It's fine, yo.

[horizon]

I was going to say that this is the first commentfic I've ever seen by an author for their own work, but there's precedent.

And I love that this picks up the original fic's best running gag and runs with it in an entirely different direction.

[Ice Star]

8491985
The main story occurs in continuity without Flurry Heart, but there is a sequel where the egg hatches!