Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

Frustration in Excelsis's The Sun is Another Star (Coronet the lesser's "You've Got Debt")

Author's Note:

[Comedy]

This is a continuation of Coronet the lesser's You've Got Debt (3,224 words, [Comedy][Random])

YOU'VE GOT SPOILERS: At Princess Regnant Twilight's first council meeting (not the Council of Friendship, the other one,) she learns that Equestria's in a bit of a pickle: Crippling national debt, terrible credit among the other nations, students rioting after Twilight's educational reforms, assassins after her life as per tradition... Oh, but the good news is that Saddle Arabia will soon pay off a great deal of the debt.

With the dowry. For Twilight's hoof in marriage. Which she offered during the animal acrobatic display just after dealing with the Alicorn Amulet, not that Celestia ever told her. Cut to Tia fleeing from an enraged former student.

"I'm so glad you got over your recent upset so quickly, my dear." Celestia floated her cup back to the tray. "And I was delighted by your offer to meet and catch up, but there's something I would like to ask you about."

Twilight sipped at her tea, her face carefully serene. "What would that be?"

"I have been receiving some very peculiar letters from the Saddle Arabian caliphate and Prince Saladin's person lately, offering profuse apologies for their—and here I quote—"clumsy misunderstanding of my approach" and offering to reschedule the ceremonies at a time and place of my choosing, as well as some rather flowery displays of gratitude for bestowing them with such an honor. Now, as I'm not entirely certain what honor I am supposed to have bestowed here, I was wondering if perhaps you might know if something might have gone off-track with Equestria's plans to strengthen its alliance to Saddle Arabia."

"Well, not off-track as such." Twilight topped off her cup. "There's just been a minor misunderstanding. Saddle Arabian customs regarding courtship are... a bit complex, especially factoring the various ways in which one can signal one's intent to court." She nodded to a pile of books on a nearby table. "It took a bit of research, but some modern customs allow suitors to arrange for someone of lesser social standing than they or their desired to relay a performance by proxy. It originated as a way to defuse confusion when using messengers, you see, but it's also used to allow suitors to hire people more talented in a given skill or to make a proposal when otherwise impaired or undisposed.

"Unrelatedly, it also happens that under Saddle Arabian customs, only royalty or certain high nobility can wed members of the royal house. As at the time of the proposal I was at best a daughter of Equestria's bourgeoisie, I was simply not eligible when I offered Saladin the courtship display. Thus the intent formally defaults to the one who arranged for its sending." She chuckled and turned back to Celestia, whose smile had turned noticeably brittle. "The Arabians had thought I was already formally part of the royal house at the time. The poor dears were dreadfully embarrassed by their mistake!"

To Celestia's credit, whatever she felt in response to this manifested as no more than a few spilled drops of tea when she set her cup back onto its saucer. "I see." She paused. "And I suppose the reason you felt no need to inform me until the bride-gifts started coming to my doorstep?"

"What can I say? I learned from the best."

Comments

[EonAon]

sweet sweet revenge.

[Darkstarling]

It’s when the rage becomes serenity that you know you are truly doomed.

[Cerulean Blue]

The Royal Equestrian Bank will require the dowry no later than by the end of the month, as well.

[WanderingPony]

And perfect timing, considering Celestia was planning on retiring to a beach somewhere in a few years.

Saddle Arabia is pretty much one big beach. Of sand. Lots of sand.