[Comedy][Random][Thriller][Human]
This is also a response to "(Doesn't) Workhorse" (see previous story for details.)
FURTHER CONTEXT: Quoth iisaw:
But my "favorite" thing about horses is that they're dumb enough to be terrified by things like white fence posts, but just smart enough to remember a post was white after you've repainted it, and spook anyway.
"Annddd... done!"
Local human Jessie stood back to admire the fresh coat of eggshell blue on the Hills Hoist in her front yard. It originally sported a fetching white enamel coating, but after yesterday, Jessie decided it was best she change the colour.
Maybe it was the two milk-stallions who reared back in fright and jack-knifed their milk cart. Maybe it was Derpy cowering and whimpering piteously behind the postbox. Or maybe it was the little filly who tripped amidst the stampede of her terrified classmates and sat bawling in the middle of the walk with a skinned knee.
Regardless of how it began, it certainly ended when Sergeant Sentry bravely dove out of the sun and toppled the Hoist with a flying hoof-kick. Jessie lost some of her underthings to grass-stains, but Ponyville gained a new hero.
Silly little ponies...
Jessie shook her head. Hopefully the new blue coating would not spook her neighbours and she could finally finish her laundry.
The sound of flapping wings and a soft *thump* brought her out of her reverie. Only one pony she knew sounded like that, with that distinctive little stumble-step.
"Good morning Derpy."
"Wow! You're really good at that! You didn't even see me and I was trying my best to be extra quiet! I got your mail and I—"
Jessie was about to ask Derpy about her mail, but caught short when she saw Derpy's reaction. Ears splayed, nostrils flaring, muscles taught, eyes wide and staring. she was frightened, absolutely terrified.
Jesse held out her hands placatingly and tried to calm the spooked mailmare.
Don't want to create another scene like yesterday and possibly hurt another filly or colt on their way to school.
"Derpy? Derpy, it's OK. There is nothing to fear, it's going to be OK—"
"No! Nononononoooo! It was white yesterday but now it's blue! It's blue! Bluuueee!"
Derpy took to the air with a burst of loose feathers and fluttering envelopes as she flew off with a terrified wail of "It's blueeee!"
Jessie pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head in exasperation. So much for not creating a scene. She looked up and down her street and saw several parents stamping the sidewalk nervously, shielding their colts and fillies from the terrible spectre of Once White But Blue Today.
Things were rapidly getting out of hand—err hoof.
The sound of more flapping caused Jessie to look up to the sight of a uniformed Rainbow Dash leading a flight of Friendship Guard pegasi.
One of the guards, the one with the most bars on his little horsey epaulettes, reared back in shock, quickly assessed the situation and started barking orders.
"Oh Tirek's teats! She was right! It was white, but it is now blue! Dash! Go get the princess! I don't care if she is still sleeping, showering, or eating breakfast! This is an emergency! It's blue now!"
Dash snapped a quick salute and zipped off towards the Crystal Tree House.
The commander pegasus wheeled around to the other guards.
"Star! Patrol! You two take the south side of the street. Bumblebee and Copper take the north! Get these civilians back and protect them. It's blue now, but the princess should be her soon. I'll protect the human!"
Jessie tried to call out to them. "Wait! It's not going to—"
The pegasus commander touched down, imposing his armoured body between Jessie and the Once White But Now Blue Hoist of Doom.
"Ma'am! It's going to be OK! I'm here to help you. Follow me and I will protect you!"
He spread his wing and gently, but irresistibly began to herd her away. Sure these little ponies barely reached past her navel, but she had seen them pull houses. Her few dozen kilos would hardly be noticed.
"Ma'am please don't panic. We need to move you to a safe place. I will guard your back, don't you worry—"
*whummmmm*
A glowing, shimmering magenta dome suddenly materialized around the hoist. Princess Twilight had arrived.
She may have been sporting a rubber duckie in her mane and trailing a stream of bubbles from her abbreviated morning bubble bath, but one look at the streams of fiery mana arcing off her body and her ferocious glare showed this was no laughing matter. Her little ponies were threatened. No matter how hard it tried to hide the fact it was white yesterday by being blue today, she would find it and destroy it.
*crack*
The magic dome disappeared in an actinic flash along with the Hills Hoist. And a sizeable chunk of Jessie's front lawn to boot. All that remained was a hemispherical depression of glowing vitrified glass, softly pinging and cracking as it cooled in the morning air.
All the ponies up and down the street gave a cheer! Their princess saved them!
Jessie gave a groan. She was never going to be able to complete her laundry.
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I'm wondering why they'd be scared of a hoist, but that they probably shouldn't just makes it more funny!
....She has told them what the thing is, right? About how it's harmless and for laundry and how did they NOT see the paint cans?
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Have you seen how spindly and wire-y those are? Definitely not to be trusted. Practically the Ponyville equivalent of Siren Head!
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She tried. Twice! Could not get a word in edge-wise though.
I suppose it is a good thing Twilight did not see the paint tin, otherwise it would have been implicated with serious charges of aiding and abetting Hiding the Fact it was White Yesterday by Being Blue Today. A serious offence against Equinitity indeed. She would have reduced it to a whiff of incandescent gluons and alpha particles along with the hoist and Jessie's lawn.
Which would have been a pity; it was such a delicate, fetching shade of robin's egg blue. Rattle Can at Paints and Pianos mixed the shade up himself.