Hondo Flanks, Rarity's father, has played pro football for a long time... and now he's due to play in Equestria's championship. But on the big day his hopes are dashed by a back injury that will leave him unable to take the field in the biggest game... and maybe the last game... of his career.
The love of a daughter formerly indifferent to sports rises to the occasion. But can Rarity fill her father's helmet? Or will her cockamamie scheme write another chapter of failure in Detrot sports history?
Pinkie Pie Comedy award winner for Everfree Northwest's Scribblefest 2018!
Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!
Chapters (1)
Well, it could have been worse...
Browns in the Super Bowl and winning (and I'm a Browns fan)
Nearly choked from laughing. This is a gem... appropriate considering whom is involved. Plus, points for the filial piety aspect. She is a real bad flank.
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My condolences.
*starts fic, sees Lions, checks for tragedy tag* Hmm...
Oh... my... god... That was amazing. You had me, and my upvote, at the Pats shots (seriously, I won't even elaborate for fear of spoiling), but goddamn it just got better from there.
Props to that second Suns player though. Is he related to Twilight? Those were some impressive stat recollections he was tossing out.
The game itself... well particularly that first hit, reminded me of this, for better or worse (it's a terrible movie, but imo it's terrible in all the right ways):
Thanks for posting this here... and who cares about improbable? Improbable is a mainstay of stories in general, and definitely sports stories and comedies. Sports comedies? Try one without improbable...
8771580 I am a casual Houston sports fan. I remember turning off a playoff game in the Oilers times right after the Oilers ran back the opening kickoff of the second half to make the score 35-7.
They lost that game 41-38 in overtime, to the frickin' Buffalo Bills. It remains, to this day, the biggest comeback (or collapse) in NFL history.
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Wait... the Bills won a playoff game at some point? Not that I disbelieve you, but I had to look that up; their record is actually better than I thought. I hadn't really picked up football as a spectator yet in 92-93, though I think it was around that year that I was playing Joe Montana Sports Talk Football for the Genesis. I understand pain... I was a Braves fan in the 80s, and my mother's side of the family are Cubs fans (which, until recently... yeah) but I can't decide whether finding out that happened later or watching it happen as a fan of the losing team would've been worse. Probably the latter.
I casually follow the Ravens, myself. Mostly because they are a professional sports team named after a poem, and perhaps the only one. I've moved around too much to have a 'home team'. That said, the Patriots losing was good enough for me. I dunno what Scribblefest is exactly, but good luck with it, this story was a lot of fun and I hope it does well there.
Some time after Hondo left Rarity to her rest, several more visitors came to her hospital bed. Two moved with the dignity and grace borne of long practice. The last seemed to be carrying their awkwardness for them, along with plenty of her own and a few nights' worth of sleeplessness.
"Pleased as I am to see another addition to our ranks," said Princess Luna, "I must confess that this is not how I imagined the fair Rarity would earn her wings."
Twilight muttered something rendered insensible by shock, concern, and caffeine.
"It comes as a surprise to me as well," said Celestia. "If the doctors hadn't sent X-rays with their letter, I'm not sure if I would have believed them."
"Indeed. Given the last pony to ascend through sublime berserkergang, this—"
"This happened before!?" cried Twilight. "And neither of you told me!? Do you know how long I've spent trying to figure out how this happened?"
Luna quirked an eyebrow at her. "It has been quite some time since the last Princess of War claimed her throne, Twilight Sparkle. The details were foggy in even my memory."
"Princess of what now?"
Rarity interjected with as much of a Death Whinny as the current state of her rib cage allowed.
"Oh. Yeah. I can see that now." Twilight gulped. "Do either of you know where the nearest bathroom is?"
(Seriously, amazing story. Wish I'd read it earlier.)
8795743 Talk about taking the fashion world by storm. Yes, shoulder pads with blades are back in season, and horseshoes have never been sharper. Literally.
Eyy, grats on the win!
Congrats on the Pinkie Pie award!
About time more people notice this one.
Damn... I hung a like on this when it first came out. I want to unlike it so I can like it again.
Promoted to fave! (And congrats again on the Scribblefest prize!)
...can't breathe...
I have always said that, out of the entire cast of characters, the one I would least like to go up against when the red mist descended would be Rarity.
This proves my point admirably, and hilariously. Well done.
naturally, i thought of this scene:
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Nah, Pinkie Pie. She gets pointers from Loki.
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I want to make sweet, sweet love to this comment.
Fantasy it might be, but remember that comic wise, Rarity is a pro wrestler that has taken on stallionis bigger than Bulk
reminds me of a gag in a story by Estee: Celestia was lamenting the fact that her sheer size makes it very hard for her to find a dress that doesn't look like she's wearing a tent. she thought Rarity might be able to overcome that problem, BUT she would probably faint if Celestia approached her...
Rarity while not the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria makes up for it by just being mean.
8770775 This year, in real life, we have the Cincy Bungles versus the Your City Name Here Rams.
Sometimes you just can't write fiction that's as unbelievable as reality.
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I know man, Stafford deserves his ring after rotting in the hell that is Detriot, but at the same time Cincy deserves their moment in the spotlight
You stupid, ignorant bastard.
You just dun FUUUUUUCKED up...
I'm a Baby Boomer. I remember the Heidi Game (November 17, 1968). NBC was broadcasting Oakland vs Jets. Oakland scored 2 times in the final minute to come from behind & win. Fans missed it because NBC cut away to broadcast the Disney show (which was broadcasting Shirley Temple in Heidi). Since then, all NFL contracts require that the game be broadcast to the end, no matter what.
Personally, I wanted to watch the movie & hated football. I've always felt NBC made the right call. Oddly enough, nobody ever asked my opinion.
You want my opinion, most football players were jerks back in HS. Making my life miserable was a cherished hobby. (Well, probably overrated my importance to them. Still, they seemed glad to devote some spare time to the effort.)
Still liked the story.