• Member Since 12th May, 2013
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Kris Overstreet

Convention vendor, compulsive writer. I have a Patreon for monthly bills and a KoFi for tips.


Hondo Flanks, Rarity's father, has played pro football for a long time... and now he's due to play in Equestria's championship. But on the big day his hopes are dashed by a back injury that will leave him unable to take the field in the biggest game... and maybe the last game... of his career.

The love of a daughter formerly indifferent to sports rises to the occasion. But can Rarity fill her father's helmet? Or will her cockamamie scheme write another chapter of failure in Detrot sports history?

Pinkie Pie Comedy award winner for Everfree Northwest's Scribblefest 2018!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Well, it could have been worse...

Browns in the Super Bowl and winning (and I'm a Browns fan)

Nearly choked from laughing. This is a gem... appropriate considering whom is involved. Plus, points for the filial piety aspect. She is a real bad flank.

*starts fic, sees Lions, checks for tragedy tag* Hmm...

Oh... my... god... That was amazing. You had me, and my upvote, at the Pats shots (seriously, I won't even elaborate for fear of spoiling), but goddamn it just got better from there.

Props to that second Suns player though. Is he related to Twilight? Those were some impressive stat recollections he was tossing out.

The game itself... well particularly that first hit, reminded me of this, for better or worse (it's a terrible movie, but imo it's terrible in all the right ways):

Thanks for posting this here... and who cares about improbable? Improbable is a mainstay of stories in general, and definitely sports stories and comedies. Sports comedies? Try one without improbable...

8771580 I am a casual Houston sports fan. I remember turning off a playoff game in the Oilers times right after the Oilers ran back the opening kickoff of the second half to make the score 35-7.

They lost that game 41-38 in overtime, to the frickin' Buffalo Bills. It remains, to this day, the biggest comeback (or collapse) in NFL history.

Wait... the Bills won a playoff game at some point? Not that I disbelieve you, but I had to look that up; their record is actually better than I thought. I hadn't really picked up football as a spectator yet in 92-93, though I think it was around that year that I was playing Joe Montana Sports Talk Football for the Genesis. I understand pain... I was a Braves fan in the 80s, and my mother's side of the family are Cubs fans (which, until recently... yeah) but I can't decide whether finding out that happened later or watching it happen as a fan of the losing team would've been worse. Probably the latter.

I casually follow the Ravens, myself. Mostly because they are a professional sports team named after a poem, and perhaps the only one. I've moved around too much to have a 'home team'. That said, the Patriots losing was good enough for me. I dunno what Scribblefest is exactly, but good luck with it, this story was a lot of fun and I hope it does well there.

The pads and jersey bind pegasus wings, making it fair to all.

Some time after Hondo left Rarity to her rest, several more visitors came to her hospital bed. Two moved with the dignity and grace borne of long practice. The last seemed to be carrying their awkwardness for them, along with plenty of her own and a few nights' worth of sleeplessness.

"Pleased as I am to see another addition to our ranks," said Princess Luna, "I must confess that this is not how I imagined the fair Rarity would earn her wings."

Twilight muttered something rendered insensible by shock, concern, and caffeine.

"It comes as a surprise to me as well," said Celestia. "If the doctors hadn't sent X-rays with their letter, I'm not sure if I would have believed them."

"Indeed. Given the last pony to ascend through sublime berserkergang, this—"

"This happened before!?" cried Twilight. "And neither of you told me!? Do you know how long I've spent trying to figure out how this happened?"

Luna quirked an eyebrow at her. "It has been quite some time since the last Princess of War claimed her throne, Twilight Sparkle. The details were foggy in even my memory."

"Princess of what now?"

Rarity interjected with as much of a Death Whinny as the current state of her rib cage allowed.

"Oh. Yeah. I can see that now." Twilight gulped. "Do either of you know where the nearest bathroom is?"

(Seriously, amazing story. Wish I'd read it earlier.)

8795743 Talk about taking the fashion world by storm. Yes, shoulder pads with blades are back in season, and horseshoes have never been sharper. Literally.

Eyy, grats on the win!

Congrats on the Pinkie Pie award!

About time more people notice this one.

Damn... I hung a like on this when it first came out. I want to unlike it so I can like it again.:raritywink:

Promoted to fave! (And congrats again on the Scribblefest prize!) :twilightsmile:

A rough voice hissed, just loud enough for him to hear,“I smell your fear.”

...can't breathe...

I have always said that, out of the entire cast of characters, the one I would least like to go up against when the red mist descended would be Rarity.

This proves my point admirably, and hilariously. Well done.

“Hailstone Mary,” the pegasus replied, meeting hoof to hoof and shaking with enough strength that Rarity had to lock her knees to prevent herself from being thrown to the floor. “And what does your daughter do for a living, Hondo?”

naturally, i thought of this scene:

"Who gets the pointers, Flanks or the Horse?"


Nah, Pinkie Pie. She gets pointers from Loki.

I want to make sweet, sweet love to this comment.

Fantasy it might be, but remember that comic wise, Rarity is a pro wrestler that has taken on stallionis bigger than Bulk :raritywink:

“Can’t argue with that!” Hondo put a burly foreleg around Rarity’s shoulders. “My Rarity is a fashionista! Why, she’s just opened boutiques here in Manehattan and Canterlot too! The princesses wear her designs, did you know that? She’s a pure artiste, same’s her mum!”

reminds me of a gag in a story by Estee: Celestia was lamenting the fact that her sheer size makes it very hard for her to find a dress that doesn't look like she's wearing a tent. she thought Rarity might be able to overcome that problem, BUT she would probably faint if Celestia approached her...

Rarity while not the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria makes up for it by just being mean.

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