• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen May 11th

Protopony350


T

Princess Celestia had planned on taking a leisurely walk to the princess store, but the angry mob of humans had different plans. Plans involving a gatling gun. Plans that were totally ruined by the fact that ponies are immune to bullets.

Princess Celestia isn't angry about being shot 287 times.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 60 )

Riddler is just riddled with riddles.

Breathtaking in its majesty

that was crasy as balls

notme #5 · May 19th, 2016 · · 2 ·

Well, of course they are immune to bullets, that is why the royal guards still use spears and stuff. or do you think pony are all morons? :pinkiehappy:

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

This has to be the dumbest thing I've read in a long, long while.

And I read my own stuff.

7228753

I take this as a compliment of the highest order.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

7228754 As you should.

Reminds me of my story Gun Love For The Sun.

7228763

Went through your stories but didn't see that one. Could you link me?

7228766

It's mature rated. I'll PM you.

Don't think you are allowed link to them.

7228770

I don't know what I was expecting

normally, bad writing like this would turn me right off, but somehow, it really works for this story. well done. don't write again. please.

Not bad. I think it feels sort of lazy in the jokes that it makes, but the absurdity at least partly makes up for it. I'm gonna give this a like, but not a fave.

Might as well shut down the site while we can. We've hit peak quality right here.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Alt title: My Riddled Pony: Friendship Is Bullets

"Potato creatures?!?!?!?" asked Spuds Starcherson, the only one in the group who actually resembled a potato. Not because he actually looked like one, but because he like, totally had the ATTITUDE of a potato, ya know?

This is some of your finest work. :D

Man, that's a lot of plot holes.

I thought this was going to be about Princess Celestia prepping for her guest spot on Highlander, :applejackunsure:

So who else was expecting Flowey?

Two hundred and eighty-seven friendliness pellets.

This... this um...

Well, congratulations, best laugh I've had in quite some time!

I'm . . . not sure what to make of this. It's not really something I'd upvote, but it's too well written to get a downvote either, and it's not something I'd fave either. So, have an imaginary pat on the back, I guess? :rainbowhuh:

Awesome and hillarious. Please do more absurd sillyness like this.

:rainbowlaugh:

The perfect amount of insanity, nonsense and technicolour ponies killing humans in the name of friendship. I'd tip my hat to you if I owned one.

How can any one not like this what ever this was. Loved it.

Secret to Franny is the father of the child is a pony.

Well, that was pointless. I want those five minutes back.

7229947
Your tags promised comedy. You can not claim no refunds on what you failed to deliver in first place.

Silly, funny and random :) liked it.

Celestia is a product of an earlier era. She should ask Rainbow Dash, who initially wanted a pet who was "fast like a bullet".

Only Franny survived, because, like, you can't kill a pregnant lady. I'm not that horrible.

Alondro walks up and shoots her in the face. "I am," he says with the most evil grin possible. It's the sort of grin the Joker made while sodomizing yo' mamma!

:trollestia:

Foolish humans. Had they watched "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", they'd have known that bullets were useless against Toons. Unless they're cartoon bullets. But those never hit anything and are usually drunk.

and the city clock failed to ring. Not because it was broken, but because most clocks don't ring at 11:37 AM.

THIS.

I LOST IT AT THIS. :rainbowlaugh:

...

Tis a glorious story! Have a green thumb and a place on the gold star bookshelf!

"Oh darn," the dead humans said. "I wish that more than one human had been pregnant, and then our race might have survived."

Metaphorically, anyway, because dead people can't talk.

Then they all went off into the afterlife for some Sweet Sweet Honey Bee Honey.

THe fact that the author is not Bendy riddles me.

I'm just gonna leave this revolver here. It only has one bullet, but that should be all you need. I expect you know what to do with it, Protopony350.
It's the only way to repent for this atrocity.

7233649

Thanks, I'm sure Celestia would appreciate a new fashion hole.

Having now read this story three times ("Why!?" asks my poor brain...), I just...I don't...I can't even. I have lost the ability.

Be proud, Protopony, for in making this atrocity, you have robbed me of my ability to even.

everyone knows you have to use cake and books to kill ponies.:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

7232970

I said you can't kill a pregnant WOMAN. All the other pregnant people were men.

7229104

Ha, that was probably my favorite line.

7228898

I can make no promises.

Moral: don't fuck with ponies I guess?

You've been missed.

what

"Oh, I'm sorry, is this better?" and Celestia collapsed to the ground.

This is what Celestia would act like in the show if M.A Larson hadn't intervened. Pure perfection.

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