• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Hold your ground but do not be unkind. (Ponyphonic, "Shy Heart")


The Crystal Empire's Royal Couple are popular, successful and happy in their marriage. As if that wasn't irritating enough, they're also very good with words. The problem is, one of the words they'll need today is "Armageddon".

Well, more or less.

Now has a reading by... er... me! Yes. Definitely me. It's only on PresentPerfect's channel because, um, YouTube. He's not reading it at all. You think he has time for that? Of course not. It's me. Yup.

Reviews: Titanium Dragon | Chris | PresentPerfect

Cover art: Last Stand [Speedart] by Mithrandir730. CC by-nc-sa 3.0

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 53 )

Considering that I just published a story called "Appellation Mountains," I have zero right to complain about anything in this story. So I"m just going to suffer in silence. :raritywink:

I kid, I kid. It was fun.

6745283 On seeing your story's title, I immediately added it to my RiL list. :pinkiehappy:

Thanks! It's just a bit of silliness, of course, but I think I can be allowed that at this time of year.

My head hurts as much as Shining's

But in a good way. :pinkiehappy:

I don't often thumb and run, but when I do it's to dumb fun.


Watching you set up that line was like watching a train wreck, and I mean that in the best possible way. :pinkiehappy:

6745447 I thought I was quite restrained, really... :pinkiecrazy:

6745485 Dumb I knew I had. Glad it was fun, too! :twilightsmile:

6745500 Screaming, running away, horrible jolting, clouds of noxious smoke, etc? Yep, sounds about right. :pinkiehappy:

My brain hurts, but I don't mind in the slightest. Nice work on what was a fun little read.

Thanks to GeodesicDragon for suggesting "Northern Shireland".

I can't believe that you actually used it. :rainbowlaugh:

Also, I did a thing.

A more armorial Armor x Amore amour moral, I see.

6745937 If your brain didn't hurt, I'd feel I'd failed. :rainbowwild:

Also, I did a thing.

Thanks very much! :twilightsmile:

6745941 A morale-booster, that comment. :raritywink:


But hey, definitely worth the pain of the read.

I have a hard enough time with those words sounding fairly the same but seeing them all next to each other is just evil.

6747192 If it hadn't hurt, I'd have felt I'd failed. :raritywink:

6747300 Me? Evil? You'll never meet a more moral guy. :scootangel:

I have long been trying to out how best to approach a "Shining Armoire" joke, but it never would have reached this level. *tips helmet*

Is it wrong, though, that the thing I take away from this is a burnign desire to see the full lyrics of "Do You Know the Weight of an Armadillo?"

6748450 *bows* And if anyone wants to write the lyrics of the song, I'm not going to stop them. Though I'll probably deny all knowledge to the judge. :derpytongue2:

Well! That was certainly fun and somewhat silly, and that is rarely a bad thing. However, two things:-

1) Are you going to do a reading of this one and if so, let's see if you can tie your tongue in knots. :derpyderp2:

2) I think you may be up for the official Punmaster 2015 award. I may be wrong. :twilightblush:

6753393 Thank you! :pinkiehappy: And in answer to your questions: 1) Yes, there will be a reading. Eventually. I still have two-year-old fics I haven't done readings for! And 2) That's a thing? Why don't I have a ticket, hmmm?

6753514 Ah, you don't have a ticket? Darn... they sold out just 2 minutes ago. :flutterrage:

Beautifully punny, bravo!

Haha, you actually wrote it! Man, I remember that conversation! :rainbowlaugh:

In any case, chuckles galore. Take my fave.

6786729 Thanks! I live to serve. :pinkiehappy:

6786909 Ah, it was you! I could not remember who'd urged me to write this. You now have a mini-credit in the A/N, which should teach you never to own up again. :rainbowlaugh: And thanks!

I'd say it was time to put the 'ammer down.... but I don't want to give you more ammo, mon ami.

6985902 I'm just sad I couldn't get a meerkat into it somewhere. :derpytongue2: But thanks very much for giving it a read. (And thanks for faving it, too -- I think I can still get away with comments like that as part of a reply!

you are a very silly person:pinkiehappy:

6989519 Thank you kindly! :twilightsheepish:

The alliteration and assonance are too much :rainbowlaugh:

Oh wow, this was something xD I feel like Shiny and first need some aspirin :derpyderp2:
But these wordplays were just great, I love them, although I had to read some of them two or three times, since I´m not a native english speaker. Anyway, good job :pinkiehappy:

6998369 Thanks very much; I'm glad you liked it. :yay: Hope the aspirin helps...

Arrrrrrrr!!! (falls over)

6998888 Woodworm in the old leg, me hearty? :rainbowlaugh:

6999380 ..more! (I couldn't resist)

6998636 It did^^ Do you plan on writing more like this, or another chapter to this, or was it a one-time thing?

7003514 This story won't be expanded, but I expect I'll write more silly little fics in the future, because... I'm a silly person. :derpytongue2:

7003795 Okay, you´ve got my follow right there :derpyderp1:
You´ve got anything else as silly as this written so far? :)

7003813 Thanks! The story I'm writing right now isn't silly, but I have another idea in the works that is very silly indeed for later this year. :pinkiecrazy:

You´ve got anything else as silly as this written so far? :)

Well... my silliest is probably Ra Ra Raspberry, but it only works if you know what it's based on. If you're a fan of Cloud Kicker/Winningverse stories, then Kicking Back is pretty silly. There's One Hell of a Party, in which Tirek is a guest at Twilight's castle-warming party. There's my Newborn Cuties crossover So Many Different Ways to Prey. I also have a snippet, Everything is Awesome, in which Dash can't seem to say a sentence without using the word "awesome", but that's really only half a story.

7003921 Okay.. I have no idea what the first one is based on, and Life and Times of a Winning Pony is still very high on my veeeery long "read-later"-list (I am stuck at the end of Past Sins, for Celestia´s sake-.-), but I will for sure have a look on the others :twilightsmile:
Thank you and keep up the good work. *switches to a deep, dark voice* I will know when you post something... *switches back* Byebye :derpytongue2:


I have no idea what the first one is based on

It's a song. PresentPerfect's review isn't spoilery and has a link to the inspiration (which is spoilery).

Incidentally, I wrote Kicking Back before I'd read Winning Pony, purely on the strength of Cloud Kicker's Winningverse reputation. As it happens, Winning Pony is a much more complex story than I then imagined, but thankfully it didn't invalidate my own bit of silliness. :moustache:

7004617 Okay, thanks for the link. Then I will have a look at these 2 as well^^ I really enjoy those silly fics, they are some "light reading" in comparrison to the other stuff I normally read :twilightsmile:

7006210 Heh, I know what you mean. I've read a few fics with Sad/Dark/Tragedy tags recently, and sometimes it's nice to have something lighter. That's one reason I write such things!

7006823 I will surely read more of your stuff in the future, since I am writing at a bigger, quite dark story about certain doom and destruction at the moment (let´s just say I took one of the ideas from the S5 finale and turned it at least "teen", if not 18+ :pinkiecrazy:) and your stories are quite nice to read after that :D

Confusing and funny.

7008460 That is very much what was intended, so mission accomplished! :rainbowlaugh:

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #49.

My review can be found here.

7244057 Thanks! Pretty much what I expected, really. :twilightsmile:

The world really needs a reading of this.

7479184 The world may have cause to regret it... but it may happen!

Wonderfully silly. Northern Shireland had me fits.
Light and refreshing, a great contrast and a good follow on to the story I have just finished re-reading, Romance Reports by Sleeplessbrony

7790087 You can thank GeodesicDragon for "Northern Shireland" -- as soon as he said it, I knew it was going in. And thanks very much! "Wonderfully silly" is a tremendous compliment in my book. :pinkiehappy:

Also, eerie coincidence time: Romance Reports is fairly high up on my RiL list. I probably should have got to it before now, but you know: so many fics, so little time!

This is amazing. I can't stop smiling.

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