• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

T

Moonlight Raven doesn't date much. As a dark mistress of the night, she often finds that others cannot comprehend her mysterious nature and her unfathomable magical powers, poor mortal fools that they are. Besides, her loving sister, Sunshine Smiles, is the only real friend she needs. But when Sunshine sets her up on a date with none other than Maud Pie, the only pony in Equestria more mysterious than she is, Raven finds herself having to do some serious self-evaluation.

This story is about Moonlight Raven from the Canterlot Carousel episode.

Mods plz add tags already D:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 79 )

Mods plz add tags already D:

We're probably gonna have to wait until Genfiction goes live before we get Custom tags.

DannyJ - Stupid Brit.

Hey, is it too late to change my credits line? 'Cause Danny's is way awesomer than mine. :V

A Moonlight and Maud fic? Well, you definitely have my attention, and it's excellent. You have a nice writing style and the characters' personalities make for fun and interesting interactions. The moments between Moonlight and Maud were all well-written and fun to read, and I just like the different scenes and scenarios the characters find themselves in. From how they talked to what was going through Moonlight's head, it all flowed so well.

Moonlight's past was also interesting, and I can definitely believe this to be what she was like back then and what she went through. It adds a lot of depth to her character in my opinion, and it added to the story's quality as a whole.

Anyway, now that I've finished reading it, I'll give it a favorite in addition to the upvote. Nicely done, and best of luck on your future works. :twilightsmile:

It was everything I dreamed it would be. That ending had a very cerebral aspect to it that I really liked after how prominent Raven's fantasies were for the fic up until then. I did think that we could've used one more scene in the past, though. Something between her bullies and the party showing the transitional period when she first started to adopt this persona as a constant defence rather than a contextual one. But, that's nitpicky of me, and I certainly can't say that Raven's character arc felt incomplete here. Indeed, I enjoyed it very much. Maud was great, too.

That said, you are still my sworn enemy, and so I shall still give you no reprieve - 0/10.

6524985

Hey, not everybody can be me, alright? I make it look easy, but it's not.

This was good. I liked this. They are cute together.

...

WHY IS THERE NO MAUD PIE EMOTICON?

*Sees that this is completely unrelated to Lord Lycaon's amazing Quoth the Raven*

*Reads anyway because it looks funny*

I love it! Shame it's just one chapter, though...

My eyes totally didn't get wet near the end of this. Nope. Not at all. :ajsleepy:

Fun story, and sad and sweet. Loved the writing!

Also, it's always good to see the game booth destroyed, for the evil that they are. And in a way this time as well, the most desired prize was still a fluffy white unicorn. :twilightsmile:

6525128
Thank you very much for your lovely comment!
I took a big leap with my interpretation of Raven and Maud. I'm glad to see that it worked out well in the end. To be honest, I was a little nervous about how it would be received, and it's great to see some happy readers!

Thank you for the vote and the fave, and of course, your well-wishes. I definitely hope to see you around again in the future on any one of my other stories.

Cheers!

6525227
Cheers mate. Glad it was as you said. And yeah, for reasons of pacing and content I didn't want to have too many flashbacks -- just enough to cement the issue and show a gradation. Either way, I'm glad that I was able to somewhat satisfy your high and lofty standards.

But your face gets 0/10.

6525718 You're welcome! I'll be sure to check out some of your other stories when I can. :twilightsmile:

Wow, It was really interesting to read, to see how Raven keeps things locked in, and how Maud approaches her. It was also kinda heartwarming, her sister putting in a heap of effort to help her, and Maud pouring her heart out.

6525300
You could always just piclink like a maudboss
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37000000/Maud-Vectors-maud-pie-37013304-957-834.png
Mauuuuddd boossssss

6525393
Well, I'm not sure what else is left to tell in this particular story! After all, it was just about Raven getting over her deal.
Doesn't mean there isn't a market for a sequel, though, depending on how this one goes. What would you have wanted to see?

6525580
Then I haven't achieved my goals. Not at all. :scootangel:
Glad you liked it!

6525632
Fluffy? Fluffy? Why, but she is made of the jagged rocks of Mount Vesuviraptor, which has obsidian so black and so sharp that it cuts the very wind itself! How dare you, a mere mortal, call her fluffy?
It's the shampoo she can give you a recommendation

6525732

and Maud pouring her heart out.

As much as she can muster, anyway, huh? :rainbowkiss:

6525739 Guess you could say its like squeezing water from a rock.

6525751
OH GOD THE PUNS ARE HERE
What have you done

6525822 He rocked a pun, what's it look like he done? :trollestia:

PONY RANKO VERY CUTE

6526389
God damnit, Meri

Also no one's gonna get that reference.

You're a god among men. Thanks for the reading material between classes

6526525
You're very welcome.

Nice and heartwarming story, and a lovely Maud.:raritystarry:

This is an adorable pairing.

I am an agent of the shadows, waiting for the return of my Queen, Nightmare Moon: herald of Nightmare Night and the once-dominant of the forsaken, Princess Luna! She will one day return upon Canterlot and bring forth a new age!

I can't imagine the elation and the subsequent disappointment she must have felt. :rainbowlaugh:

“Step aside,” Maud said.

That poor, poor booth. :trollestia:

6525739 Not sure, but it feels like it ended as soon as I really got to know her. Maybe that was the point, though?

6527337
Hell yeah, those guys were sick! Until Jeff Loomis left and they broke up. Granted, his solo work is just as stellar as the time he fronted the band. And they might even be reforming, so :yay:

It's no wonder that Dave Mustaine wanted him for Megadeth way back in 1990, with skills like this.

6527674 I was only quoting the original poem.

Interesting characterization. I don't think it will become my headcanon anytime soon, but both Maud and Raven are written consistently, so no trouble there. I really like how you did the interaction between the two.

This is overall a really slick and happy-making piece. I really enjoyed your characterization of Raven. Maud sometimes seems just a little bit too talkative and forceful; I think my brain puts an awful lot of musical emphasis on those italics and so whenever she uses them it seems wrong for her, too expressive. Probably others who don't put so much weight on italics wouldn't find it a problem. Other than that it's got great settings and some appealing writing. Thank you for sharing.

One tiny correction: unless I read the paragraph in question totally wrong, Sunshine is at one point referred to as "white," which is not technically correct. Maybe you're trying to bring balance to the world for all the pink Celestia toys? Or maybe it's the most trivial of headcanon AU's (AU: Sunshine Smiles isn't pink)? Or perhaps it's just all too tempting to see them as miniature Princess analogues.

6527776
Nah, it just seemed to be a 'fun' interaction, that's all. If it works for people, it works, but I didn't write this with the intention of having people go 'omg nu canon!'. It's just a bit of silly fun. =)
Nevertheless, thanks for reading and enjoying it for what it was.

6528234
No, thank YOU for READING.
And yeah, I actually had to remove a lot of italics from Maud's dialogue (you should have seen the first drafts), but sometimes I just can't get out of just the one odd one here or there. I totally get where you're coming from, eh? Maud has been quite hard to write, in fact. When she's being a caricature, it's not so much, but in a story like this when she's meant to take the role of the guide in a serious and dynamic-character way, it got tricky. I did want to show a bit of 'growth' from last year's Maud, though, so I figured, let's have her show a BIT more emotion. Let her show assertiveness whilst still being 'coldish'. That of course, can easily come across as being commanding.

And you are absolutely right about the 'white'. That was just a typo. ^_^ It's gone now, though.

Because I killed it. :trixieshiftleft:

I ship it so much :pinkiehappy:

Sweet mercy that was amazing, but I swear this is one fic that proves that comedy and sad are not opposing tags. Reading Raven was almost heart breaking.

This was a great story, one that holds a lot of meaning to me. While I was never quite as bad as Raven, I was a social outcast for a good chunk of life. I made some better friends and I'm happier & more open then I used to. Just like with Raven, I have also pulled away from fantasy, and accepted Reality. It's great that Maud was able to get Raven to embrace her TRUE self.

It would be great to see a sequel with more shipping and character growth!

I am also ESPECIALLY fond of the line where Maud talks about practicing having fun! XD

6529579
Yeah, I know, right? I always felt a good story should be able to have many different elements at play within itself. But yet, you gotta maybe just choose one or two of those tags that reflect the main gist because otherwise you get a weird tag salad that confuses everyone @_@

Anyway thanks for reading!

6530087
Hey, I am super, super glad you were able to have your own breakthroughs. Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone able to surpass themselves in all different ways. That's why I write stories like these. Whoever your 'Maud' was, always be grateful to them! I'm always grateful to mine for my own hurdles in life, and all the people around me who helped me get out of them. Everyone should be able to live freely, never in fear, and never needing to hide because of themselves.

And as for a sequel... maybe! :scootangel: There's certainly room for it, I think, although I have a lot of ideas about it and I'll have to see which way I come down on.

A very cute piece.

... I apologise for my somewhat, uh, maudlin crap powers of praise (:moustache:); I never am very good at pointing out what I like about a thing, except that, y'know. I did.

I do like these characters, though. I need to watch season five.

Need to watch season four first though.

After I watch the end of season three.

:pinkiecrazy:

like an unconscious badger

LIKE A FAILED BADGER, AMIRITE

6530256

maudlin

:trixieshiftleft:

And yeah no probs, thanks for reading, bro!
TBH I still haven't really watched past season 3 myself >_> I only watched their eps for research. A lot of their characters are super grain-of-salt from their show presentations.

LIKE A FAILED BADGER, AMIRITE

YEAH I LIKE THE WORD BADGER IT'S A FUNNY WORD TO ME OKAY

Crying? What? I'm totally not crying! Those are the waters of the River Styx cascading down my face as I use their power in reading this arcane tome of darkness!

6530269

Twilight looked away. She made a gurgling noise. To Fluttershy, it sounded like the sort of sound that a beaver makes when you gently de-gas it.
- Twilight, There's a Ghost in Your Basement

I think you just HATE ANIMALS STARTING WITH B YOU MONSTER

I've noticed a lot of authors have certain favourite words. Cold in Gardez has 'runnels', and I need only one more instance of 'clattering' in a Skywriter piece for Skywriter's to be 'clattering'. Also he does love him some food pornography. Admittedly that's more of a style than a word, but if there does exist a way to reduce food pornography to a single word, I'm sure Skywriter's the man to find it.

EDIT: MARMITE, THERE WE GO

I was unable to enjoy this piece. As well-written as it was, the protagonist was just way too annoying, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Sure, I get that she was broken from way back, but nowhere was there any real personality showing from underneath the facade, just a generic "I want friends, love me." Maybe she could be given one line that she didn't stutter? If the words "broken bird" and "goth" are all it takes to describe everything about a character, it's not a character. Maud complains that she hasn't met Raven; well, the reader gets all the backstory and the view inside her mind, and we still haven't either.

6530358
You know the truth.
Um... would you like to come with me? My uh... friends would like to have a little chat with you.

But yeah, we have our things. The fact that you seem to be reading more of my things (which I hope you are and not just scanning them randomly for animals), you're gonna see a couple of my idiosyncrasies. I really like meshing odd nouns (usually animals) and adjectives together, and I usually purposely misspell 'babies' as 'babbies' when I can.

I'm sure there are others but these are the ones I do consciously.

But hey, thank you for reading, honestly, though. I really appreciate it. I hope you're enjoying them, for what they're worth!

Edit: There is no forgiveness for Marmite.

6530396
Well, I'm sorry you didn't like it, but thank you for the feedback anyway! I guess the idea was exactly that -- that this story represents the 'intro' to something else. It's true we don't get a good look at her true personality under all the stuff, but that's the stuff to be explored with Maud later, and not the purpose I set out when writing this story. I just wanted to write this intro, and have her personal development grow with other characters later.

Besides, I think of it this way: that whatever shields she has IS the only personality she has right now, albeit a learned one, and there was not really much chance of us knowing what she might have been otherwise. In essence, what I feel is that you are, in a way, reading about her true personality as it is.

Either way, this is just my OWN interpretation of it, and there is nothing wrong with yours. Thank you for giving it a shot anyway, and again, I'm sorry it didn't do it for you! :twilightsmile:

6530269

maudlin
[mawd-lin]

adjective
1.
tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental:
a maudlin story of a little orphan and her lost dog.
2.
foolishly or mawkishly sentimental because of drunkenness.

WAIT WAT
WAT

I NEVER GET WORDS WRONG
WHAT IS THIS

ALSO WHY IS SHE CALLED MAUD WHEN IT MEANS THIS
THIS IS NOT IRONIC, HASBRO
THIS IS BAD RESEARCH

6530667
Because Maud (Maude?) is a proper name and they just wanted the pun on Mud Pie.

I think they should have called her Deirdre, but that's just me.

I was hesitant with the first scene - to all appearances it was building up a "let's deride the funny goth girl" story. Fact is I nearly stopped reading after the first scene, thinking that's all I was in for.

But I didn't and was proven unilaterally wrong on that expectation.

The story is tender and understanding and I really liked that. Midnight Raven worked much better from this angle, but for me it is her sister's few appearances (few but always exemplary) and especially Maud that really bring out the best on offer. The lady of stone gets at least a dozen honest to goodness gobsmacking one-liners througought, sometimes as punchlines, sometimes as poignant observations. Midnight Raven is, I felt, the eensiest bit flat as a character on both sides of the fantastical divide, but Maud really rocks it.

My upvote is for Midnight Raven, but my favourite is for Maud.

P.S - cute cover image did you make it yourself it's really cute.

6530748
Well, firstly, may I sincerely thank you for giving it a try and pushing through! I'm happy that you finally got something to take away from it. It's great that you like Sunshine and Maud, too. As for Raven herself, yes. As I pointed out in an earlier comment, I do feel that this story is sort of the lead-up to everything else. It's barely the introduction for her, and I don't expect there to be much 'true personality' of Raven's due to the fact that the story ended on a resolution that also doubles as a new rising action. Actually, I do remember cutting a scene at the beach where she was absently musing on the beauty of everything in her natural voice, but ultimately I had to cut it because of how the direction of the scene needed to go.

Still, though, her story has started at the end of the story, and I feel that her true growth will come in the days that follow her break-through. There's always space for a sequel!

So thank you for your comments and feedback and, indeed, patience, and thank you for the support!

P.S. Yes. I do 90% of my cover art myself, thanks!

Oh, Raven. Oh sweetie, oh honey, how you so desperately need someone to give you a hug. I was expecting this to be a light comedy-of-errors/character mismatch type thing, but what it was was a lot more heartstring-manipulating and uplifting, and a lot lot better than the story being sold in the description. Moonlight running up against the immovable object that is the new and improved outgoing Maud is funny and sad and painful and sweet all at the same time, and it's an amazing contrast between faux confidence, a shell built up to keep the world out, and real genuine security in who you are; may we all hope, in our own way, to be as brave as Moonlight is and find our way to being a little like Maud.

6530848 This works just as well as Maud's story. Very few others would have disarmed Raven's defenses through sheer, absolute, not-even-the-teensiest effort at trying to disarm them. She managed to let Raven exhaust it on her own accord and give nothing to fuel that fire.

Also if there were a sequel/continuation in the works - that'd be something I'd like to see - it'd be a lovely chance for MR to get to know, MR and explore this vast new world outside her den of fantastical retreat.

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