• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2018

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

T

The signs have fallen. The notorious outlaw Raven Lune is coming back, and she's looking to take out a few good ponies in a bid for revenge. There's nothing left to do but for Mayor Celeste to send one of her best deputies to the burg of Ponyton to make sure Lune doesn't succeed. But to do so, the deputy is going to have to find a weapon - one whose secrets are buried deep within the citizens of Ponyton, its only purpose to destroy all who stand in its way.

A weapon by the name of Harmony.


Dust and Harmony is a familiar story re-imagined in the western world of Dust. Rated T for language and violence.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 179 )

Oh, most excellent, KS. I shall delve right into this one. I love fics with alternate re-tellings of episodes.
This one in particular springs to mind. I hope I enjoy yours just as much.
Reading commencing, will edit upon completion...

Edit incoming!

She stopped just before leaving, beside the bar, regarding the mustachioed stallion behind the counter who was busy polishing a glass with a rag that looked like it was making the cup dirtier rather than the opposite.

Totally getting Leaky Cauldron vibes here :twilightsmile:

But other than that, she was a regular unicorn, just like Twilight.

Interesting. Go on...

“Please, take a seat,” Celeste gestured

Whoopsie, slight error there :derpytongue2:

“Now,” Celeste smiled,

Oh, I see this is going to be a recurring one now. I'll stop pointing them out (unless you want me to).

Twilight couldn’t see what she was up to – her body was blocking the tea-making process.

Nice use of the en dash.

“Constance, there’s plenty of settlers out there in the des–”

Unfortunately, it's incorrectly used here.

“A year ago, In anticipation

Whoopsie :twilightsheepish:

So I broke it into five pieces and gave it to five ponies in Ponyton.

Now I know these must be your versions of the elements of harmony, but I actually got Turok 2 vibes (the Nuke gun, split into 6 pieces—the ultimate weapon). A pleasant side-effect.

“Yes ma’am.”

Whoopsie.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Twilight "Chihiro" Sparkle, everypone. :trollestia:

‘radical’.

Period goes inside. I know it looks dopey, but that's the way of it.

Of course he had been watching. Like she thought. Timing was too perfect.

Changed my mind. Twilight "Perception" Sparkle :twilightsmile:

“You ponies don’t at all mind that these things are our invention. They’re called handbags, ya? Hands? You see these?” Spike pointed to the thing on his other arm. “These are called hands, right? But I hear miss lady out there in the streets goin’ ‘ohhh ohhh these horrible little dragons, why they up here in our town and taking all our freedoms’, and she’s using something that we gave to your fine com-moo-nity.”

You know, he does raise a fine point.

Furious Spike Ling was a vagrant – a traveller from the far East dragon homelands

Just one example of great world-building in this fic. :pinkiehappy:

I have to say, I :heart::heart::heart: this idea and its overall execution. Your dialogue and banter are amazing. I'm getting great visuals from your descriptions and Spike is great. :moustache:

“So, let me get this straight. I, Furious Spike Ling, am your only friend?” Spike clarified, sticking a claw out.
Twilight bobbled her head around, staring off into the distance.
She waited for the laugh.
The laugh never came.
“Yeah, you know what? Same for me with you,” Spike said, with a bit less energy than he normally had.
The discomfort hit them like a wave. Both of them staring off asunder, both of them hearing each other swallow loudly.

All of my yes. I love this. I 'felt' that scene. A fine spin on the meeting of Twi and Spike.

So let’s…”
She drew the knife across her hoof, scratching blood out of her flesh.
“... do this right.”
She held her hoof out toward Spike.
“Uh… you… might not want me to do that,” Spike said, cringing.
“Why not?” Twilight frowned.
“Dragon blood is…. Let’s just say that it stings more than a bottle’a Cactus Jack poured into your eyes.”
“So I cut myself for nothin’?”
“Appreciate the sentiment, though,” Spike replied with a smile.

*Raucous applause*

Spike flipped the picture back up from behind his shield. “Who’s the bird?”
Twilight was glad Spike couldn’t see her rolling her eyes. “Rarity Burke. She’s a habidasherer.”
“A whut?”
“Makes hats and dresses and stuff.”
“Oh right. Hubbadusherer. Got it. She’s purdy. You reckon she knows she’s purdy?”
“Yeah.”

It begins :rainbowlaugh: also, Burke. Interesting. Different. Please continue.

The whispers started.
They always did.
And they would go on about the new sheriff in town.

I honestly think I'm in love with this story.
You've set up an amazing first chapter. The characterisations are top-notch and the plot is flowing thick and fast. Definitely tracking this one.
Here, you can add my gold star to Sheriff Twilight's badge. :twilightsmile:

4252955
I do indeed hope you will enjoy it. Please don't hesitate to leave me your impressions. And also how many gunfights I will need to put into chapter 2.

And of course, thank you for the rec to the other fic. I'll have a looksee!

Right, all mistakes fixed! Thank you for pointing them out and helping me make a better story. Also, thank you for your kind words as always. I try my best with characters.

Hope I was able to get that sense of familiarity in something a bit different.

And thank you for the gold star. I think Twilight's badge needs all the stars it can get.

This look so awesome!:rainbowkiss:

Spike = Jackie Chan :moustache:
Twilight = uhh... Nicholas Cage :facehoof:

Hm. This looks interesting, but I'm worried. I mean there's lots of changes to the characters (especially Twilight, who isn't fond of books) :applejackunsure: and I'm not sure if this is going to be good. There's only one way to find out. Moar. :yay:

4253145
Well, I won't lie, but I won't be a spoilery spoilerson. My intent is to capture the familiarity of the characters in a different world. I reallllly wanna highly the alternate universe tag, haha!

There are going to be plenty of changes. Some much more so than others, and some might be incredibly unexpected. The end of the story won't be familiar territory, but (I hope) will open up to new things and new possibilities. But trust that I have the whole story planned out and I am endeavoring to keep it as balanced in tone as possible. There will be no silliness here.

After all. It's the Wild West.

Thank you very much for giving it a try, and thank you for the favourite. Please don't hesitate to voice your concerns in more detail. I'd love to know what to watch out for when writing this - hopefully I can avoid smaller pitfalls. :yay:

You're already in the feature box, man. You sure do work fast. :rainbowlaugh:

Awesome story, though. I look forward to more.

i128.photobucket.com/albums/p187/Avox44/ScreenShot2014-04-18at113807AM_zpsdb376a5b.png

4253238
I wasn't even looking at the box because I was like, looking at the numbers and thinking that it was flopping a bit >_>; I think there are Fimfic goblins at work here. Boy, I HOPE there are fimfic goblins. I'd love to catch one and make it dance for me.

But I ain't gonna look a gift horse in the face. Especially if it might be inclined t' shoot me.

4253238
How in the...? There after less than two hours from publication? :pinkiegasp:
4253256
Especially your horses in this AU. Nooooo way. :rainbowlaugh:

I am just curious to know how this got featured with only 14 upvotes? Not being mean, just impressed.

Will give it a looksee later.

4253563
Actually... 1 hour 20 minutes. Someone else notified me via PM a lot earlier, and that's as far back as I can trace. Again, gift horses, etc. I just hope more people will be willing to give this a try.

4253573
Hey, beats me, buddy. I'm not complaining, though. I can't say I understand how this works. I just want to write something people can enjoy. Feature or not, if people get a good time, then that's what I care about.

Thanks for giving it a try, though! I hope it'll fit the bill. And if not, then at least you tried and that's all I can ask for.

Well. That happened. As far as pilot retellings go, this is a contender for the best I've read.

I think making the Feature Box has to do with the number of already popular stories one has. :ajbemused:

I have stories with more views and more likes (20 likes in less than an hour when posted) that haven't even made the Popular Stories.

*sigh* At any rate, going into my Read Later.

Now that was awesome as hell. Definitely keep going with this, Kitsu.

Freaking brilliant. (And even knowing how things are supposed to end up doesn't make it any less so.)

4255879
You sure you know how it's gonna end up, though? :trollestia:

4255961
Aw, indulge me in just this one delusion, wouldja please? :scootangel:

Hoo boy, this looks like it's gonna be quite a ride. :rainbowdetermined2:

Also, if there were any story that'd encourage me to try my hand at a dramatic reading - if only I had the setup to do recording - I think it'd be this one. I couldn't help but read the whole thing - including the narration - in various voices. :rainbowkiss:

4256672
That's a very nice thing to say! I'm always happy that my writing has strong voices. I pride myself on 'em. :twilightsmile:
Don't let me stop you from tryin', though, heh. Heheh. Heheheh. Heh. :trollestia:

I normally don't like these types of Fic, just from the description, but I shall put mine faith in your Kitsune Risu, I shall read it.

4257662 You're not stopping me, believe me, it's my (lack of a) proper setup that's stopping me. :trixieshiftleft:

4258480
You know, when I record what I need to record, I just plug a banana into an old coaxial cable and jam it into the USB slot.

Sometimes you just gotta MacGuyver it. :scootangel:

4258497 I prefer to A-Team it.

[youtube=uLnITQQ9ccY]

Well, with that summary all I can think is:

Great, now I need to go watch the Prisoner again.

And having read this chapter, I'm quite interested in the world you're creating and all the intrigue going on behind the scenes. Radical thoughts and gearheads and secret plans.

Howdy there kitsune,

Well what a way to start off a story and hook me instantly. My interest has been piuqed and I honestly can not wait for you to continue this. The characterisation of everyone was on par and the plot was easy to follow, I could also picture this as an actual episode. Again another story that was so worth adding to my favourites, so I can track its progress.

Keep up the awesome work as always kitsune.

-Frost :pinkiesmile:

4258359
I finally got around to reading it (I gots a long & ever-growing read later list) and I have to say this is probably the first completely alternate universe fanfiction I have ever liked.

Finally finding some time to catch up on my own reading list, and I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this! It's doing a great job of taking the episodes on its own terms, and I love your Spike (even if it does seem like his accent is wavering a bit).

:twilightsmile::moustache:

4493954
Yeah, there's a reason for that, haha.

In the first draft, he was mexican. But then I was going through and decided that that would be a bit too obvious, so I decided to play him with a funny take. I remembered long ago that the Chinese were very instrumental in the wild west as well, and they were much more prolific during the time than old western shows let on. They built the railways. I think some of my ancestors must have panned some gold there before, too.

... nah. But regardless, I decided to make the dragon culture in that some sort of odd blend of all major Asian cultures, and in rewriting his dialogue, I must have messed up a little. I'll be careful to watch it from the next chapter onward.

And this is definitely one story I'm interested in continuing, myself, once I get back from my haitus.

4498459
It was a great choice! It puts him at that perfect sense of racial remove and toys with some of the common "Qilinese" fandom tropes.

4252955

Twilight "Chihiro" Sparkle, everypone. :trollestia:

I may be ten weeks late, but I reckon I see whut you did thar. :trollestia:


_________________

Dear KitsuneRisu,

I've had this story in mah read later list for quiet a spell now. Then, I read it. And whooboy, was it good.

I find everything that needs to be made clear in the present is done so, and that everything that needs to be clear in the future is kept just out of reach, but still in view.

I must also add, that this alternate pilot chapter is done so well, that it gets flying colors.

:rainbowdetermined2:

Not a Rainbow Dash, cause those ain't proper quality measurin' tools.

No, instead, you get.... :trixieshiftleft: ..... :trixieshiftright: five :moustache: outta five :moustache:.

~AnimatedGamer

Given the part I played in helping to inspire this story during the early idea phase, I'm rather embarassed by how long it took me to give it a proper read. I am saddened by the lack of Mexican Spike, but I suppose it was a necessary sacrifice. There's no way you would've gotten away with his original name.

I think my favourite thing about the story so far is the idea of spurs in this world as weapons, and handbags as dragon creations. Both were inspired pieces of world-building.

That song is also pretty good.

Holy shit.
Please tell me you're going to continue this.

5572912
You know what, I just might.

This chapter, is very good chapter.

First anti-intellectual, magically weak Twilight; now smart and cowardly engineer Rainbow Dash?
To be honest, I love the spin to their canon personalities and how they fit on this setting.
Also, Spike is a smart cookie :moustache:

5624503

Also, Spike is a smart cookie

Another reversal of canon! =D
:coolphoto:

Thanks for reading. ^_^

5624513

Next predictions:

Fluttershy: Saloon/hooker (and spy, maybe even assassin) mare, manipulative and conniving under a pleasant outward appearance). Something like Leliana in the Dragon Age saga.
Pinkie Pie: Gravedigger. Known for her black, grim sense of humor.

5624558
Well. I'm not going to say if you're right or wrong. But you might be close to some things... just not in the way that you think.
I still hope to have a couple of good surprises. :twilightsmile:

I will, however, say that assassins aren't going to be in the story until the sequel. Right now I'm just setting up framework. =)

Next chapter will be about 'Applejack' and Honesty. The chapter's name will be God's Gonna Cut You Down. Make of that as you will.

5624558 Oh, you're going to have so much fun with the next few chapters.

:trollestia:

You did a thing, it made me happy.

I love this. I always enjoyed the characters you wrote in Romancing the Clouds, even if I didn't find the story the most gripping. Here however I find that I am fully involved in both. Please keep up the good work.

Glad to see more of this. Surprised, but glad. I was also not expecting pegasi to be unable to fly in this world, for all that I could tell it was lower magic. I wonder if this gun is meant to be used by only a Gearhead. I wonder if this gun is even meant to actually shoot bullets or if it's another Elements style situation. The setting is written so it could go either way.

“Aw, that’s cute. And you say you ain’t got no concern. You scared of gettin’ close or somethin’?

That and maybe she never entirely stopped punishing herself, either. She certainly seemed to recognize a kindred spirit in Dash.

This is so perfect. I can't get enough of how different and yet still the same these characters are. This is exactly what an AU should be.

5627534
Hi! Glad you're enjoying it. Sorry the story for Romancing the Clouds didn't work out too well for ya! I do have a soft spot for it myself, but I can completely understand. At least something like this lets me be mildly original and yet have that sense of familiarity. A good middle ground, eh? Thank you for commenting!

5628403
Good observations. =) And yeah, the decision to nerf a few 'powers' was to keep things relevant in this universe. Magic and Flight would cause a few problems in a world where things are more 'down to earth' (pun not intended). But it's not to say that unicorns or pegasussisues don't have a couple of extra advantages themselves. I just decided that the stakes would be higher if everyone were more or less on the same level. That way, a lot of actions would have actual lasting consequences.

.... =D

5633227
High praise coming from a demon baby from the 18th plane of the Hellionscape.

Nah I kid. :twistnerd: Thanks very much for the comments. I'll do my best to keep up the quality.

5635669

High praise coming from a demon baby from the 18th plane of the Hellionscape.

You flatterer you. :ajsmug:

I suspect I know how the gun's supposed to fire. Mayor Celeste didn't pick Twilight for this job just because she happened to be in the room at the time...

Also, 5624605 - I like this chapter name theme. Yes.

So glad to see this updating again, another amazing chapter.

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