A strange series of occurrences are plaguing the fine city of Canterlot, as one by one, a pony of vengeance strikes seemingly random ponies down in their prime. As the locals try to contain the situation, they find that it soon slips out of their hooves as they discover that this one simple pony might not be as simple as was originally thought. Once Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia gets involved, can everyone work together to bring down this threat that threatens to ruin the very core of Canterlot? These City Walls is an exploratory tale about character, relationships, mystery, and the very old, ancient powers that be. And once five innocent ponies get tied up in the lives of each other, a struggle begins to keep the entire city safe for future generations.
This is a primarily OC story. Yes. Run. Run in fear.
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Pardon me? o.o
oh yes... this awesome story, now available on FiMfiction.
I really regret not starting this story sooner. It's awesome.
btw, what was it that made Canary think she and Berry are the other two benefactors? I didn't see anything that would hint at her being involved in anything other than a professional level.
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Ah well, somepony's being pretty sharp, aren't they?
Perhaps it's just a matter of logical deduction... or perhaps, like so many other things, it's a matter of Canary coming to forceful conclusions...
All I will say about that is... good thinking! You'll find out soon, rest assured.
And thank you for the compliment. It really warms my heart.
My Bucking Word!!!! Twilight Sparkle.I'm eagerly curious of how she's involved in this.By the way, what did this mean?
,---(*< ~---,
'-----------'
That's a scary picture (the face of the evil red eyed pony)
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Hi! Thanks for reading, and thanks for the support!
That symbol... well, thing is, originally, these chapters were in PDF format. they're SLIGHTLY un-aligned here on FIM Fiction, but you can still sorta see what it's supposed to be. I actually just use it for section breaks; it's meant to signify the skip between characters and/or time, but it IS a stylized ascii (bad) art of a plot element.
Here's a hint. It's probably the first thing you saw when you started reading this, unless you have graphics disabled on the site.
As for its significance... well, that would be telling.
and progress was made
Berry, no!
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I'm sorry.
This. Just, this. Temporarily, I have no words.
Nobody commented on this? Nice intro to my character man. For a second there, I thought she was the culprit...
Interesting, Ouroboros, the snake that bites it own tail. I looked up the symbol and found one with a bunch of latin on it. There's so many symbols its hard to pick which one you took inspiration from. I found the one with five circles, one with eight words, one plain, one with a star in the middle.
I suppose it's only just that we discover Berry's fate. It's eerily invasive, this Ouros. I shudder to guess whether she'll be subjected to something "worse than death".
Poor Berry. Poor, poor Berry.
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I predict... 3 readers by next week =)
GAAAAH! Gaaaaaaahhhhh!!
Still feels like someone kicked me in the chest!
Argh, why did I read this at work?
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I'M SORRY! But... But.... I mean... she's... not... sort of... she's there! =( RIGHT?! RIGHT!??!?!?!
Ehh, took a few hours but I think I've recovered now. I'm just going to go with the theory suggested by someone in the EQD thread and continue to believe that Berry will still play an important role (that isn't the "we must avenge Berry!" role) and think happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts! Happy Thoughts!!
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But I wonder if... let's just say... LET'S JUST SAY that Berry's role is in fact NOT over.
I wonder if that necessarily meant that it would be BETTER.
"There are worse things than death", so sayeth Ouros.....
..............
Yeytwist!
Damnit!
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So, you like Berry, huh.
I can tell these things.
More seriously though, based on the revelations in this update my guess at the moment is that they (as in Canary and company) have a real possibility of both stopping this cycle and finishing it off for good.
If Berry really is the first victim to beg not just for her life but also for the life of others, that seems to imply that there is something truly different this time around, either in the world at large or just in the choice of Berry as one of the sacrifices. And "I work to exist. I exist to work." makes me think that that stopping Ouros once will stop it forever.
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Well, without giving anything away, I've been burying hints all over to suggest some things.
One of the things I CAN say without spoilering is that what Celestia said to Canary at the end of the castle scene in Chapter 2 is relevant both thematically to the story as well as a hint as to what's coming up.
The other things that you might want to question is something that happened way in the very first part, WAY at the beginning; one of the unanswered questions thus far.
And... for the true ponderer, there's still one more character we haven't seen yet, if anyone's remembering those 'mezzo' sections at the end of each chapter. It will all tie together.
And good call with that quote! Ouros was based off the idea of the ouroboros; the symbol of repetition and chain-of-events in an endless cycle. A lot of things in regards to this case is cyclical by nature, as is the very being of Ouros itself - the idea being that if you had a circle, it doesn't matter WHERE you cut it, it's still broken in the end.
Also, Berry was the first to beg on behalf of all ponykind, sure, but it HAS been a thousand odd years since Ouros was last around. Maybe it means that ponykind has simply 'progressed' since then as a society, or perhaps it means that some other factor is an influence... but I'll leave that to you to decide.
Just remember. You can't escape fate.
You evil genius bastard. Absolutely ruthless, man. Damn it.
I don't feel smart enough to read this
but i read it anyway
daaayum.
Hey, this story's on Fimfiction too. Neat.
Gotta say, with all the mysteries piled on mysteries and cryptic quotes and book extracts, and particularly the mezzos, this is an easy story to get lost in. I'm taking bets with myself over whether all my questions will even be answered by the end, because even sixteen parts in, there are still a lot of them.
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Hey! Thanks for the support and the comments. And yeah, I know, it's been a while since I updated. My life's been crazy busy lately, with a new business and all that crap. But I fully intend to finish this, so thanks for the patience and thanks for the support.
And OMG the mezzos! Someone actually PAYS ATTENTION TO THEM! =D
And yes. All questions will be answered. In fact, feel free to ask me anything just in case I stupidly leave out something! =D
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I wouldn't worry about it. I may not have any clue about what's going on, but I can tell that you've carefully planned out your story ahead of time. I'm the same with my writing. You wouldn't include any of the question raising elements if you didn't already think of the payoff and have intentions to call back to and use it later on. And I can be patient. I'll let you reveal things in your own time.
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Actually, in the planning of this story, and at this point, I've already left enough information carefully hidden all over the place that with some thought one COULD already answer most of the questions, although there will be one large thing that will go vaguely mysterious, but it's due to the nature of it itself.
And I'm not talking about QS's sexual orientation.
I regret that it has taken me so long to get back to this story, I enjoyed it thoroughly and yet lost it during my move to fimfiction... Well now to catch up on the third section!
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Hey, take all the time you need =)
It's always always great to know that people read it regardless! And I've been too busy to write much lately, so it all works out, eh? But do tell me what you think when you get around to part 3!
Wow, i mean I kinda felt it coming but WOW. That there was some mighty fine writing if I do say so myself.
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Much appreciated =)
Just wondering, is the title a reference to "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"? Because if it is, I've gotta say, the Disturbed version was better than the U2 version.
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Haha, everyone thinks that. Yeah, it does share a line in the U2 song but I wasn't picturing it when I titled it. The idea for the title came from the idea that Canterlot, as portrayed in the show, is a city without a boundary. It seems to have no walls, so I wanted the idea of the city to be figuratively walled by Celestia's protection. The idea of invasion of this protection and the themes of personal walls and overcoming obstacles is a repeated theme in the story, so the title refers to the 'walls' that the city and the characters build up around themselves.
But I'll agree with you, the Disturbed version is PRETTY GOOD indeed, and does fit the mood of this story better than the U2 one. =)
1711661 Well of course the Disturbed version is better. They are the best band of the 2000s of course! Well, in my opinion at least.
Hell yeah! Fave.
Oh, what's this? Reminds me of CSI.
Or Silence of the Lambs.
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... or Three's Company, except John Ritter is dead - albeit much like in actual life, but at least NOW it's funny.
Dropped by on Twifight's recommendation. Figured I'd skim through one chapter last night -- not having the time to binge through 130k words -- and it seemed a fairly promising start.
Came back tonight and read a second chapter. I suspect you've hooked me. I'm still adjusting to the little unexpected rough patches in the writing style -- chiefly the occasional shifts in voice or breaks to directly address the reader -- but those are equally part of the charm of it, contributing to the little moments that make me smile or catch my interest. The goggles that sit on the table doing nothing? That's a fine touch, being willing to slip that in with almost the subtlety of an easter egg; it works exactly because if someone didn't get the joke the reference wouldn't stand out from the surrounding description.
I like your Celestia so far, although it remains to be seen just how hardcore of a troll she's going to be. I'm not sure I like Duriandal, but she is becoming one hell of a character as you develop her OCD. The police ponies are giving me a hardcore Pratchett vibe, which is a compliment, because I think early in the Night Watch series is the high point of his Discworld material.
And AUGH this cliffhanger!
Anyway, well done, and I look forward to reading the rest of what's here!
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Twifight, eh? So... how much is she paying you?
Well, kidding aside, thanks for the honest review. The writing style is... well, that's how I write; I make no excuses. Some like it, some don't, but that's just how it goes. =) I've always enjoyed blending character narration with the god narration. I find it sometimes catches a reader by surprise and gives that tiny bit more impact. But at the same time, it CAN be jarring to those unfamiliar with the device.
Celestia in this fic is less of a hardcore troll and more of the wise leader. The way I did her was a Yoda who has a bit of a fun streak. This will become more apparent in future chapters.
As for Duri, this isn't mentioned in the fic itself, but while I was writing her I did so along the lines of an unspecified ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) rather than OCD. Of course, the OCD is PART of it, but mainly the faux-ASD explains the other quirks of her brain, like the memory and anxiety. At the start she was not characterized very well, but as the fic goes on she gets a few cute moments. I hope you will like her a bit more. She's my baby.
And Pratchett is my hero. You'd be the first to compare the police to Vimes and co. which was exactly what I was picturing while coming up with this idea. And yes. Night Watch early days are BEST PRATCHETT.
So, thanks for your lovely breakdown, I hope to see more thoughts from you as you read on! Genuinely, I love hearing what people think and the evolution of their views as more pieces come into play, so don't hesitate to bomb me with commentary. =)
Thank you!
1967763 Yikes. I never got a notification of this.
Double-checked after you commented on my userpage, and here it is ... this is actually the third time that's happened to me since the site update. I've sent in a bug report to knighty.
You're right, Duri is much more ASD than OCD; thanks for the clarification. When I say "one hell of a character" I'm aiming for "vivid and interesting", which is on the whole a lot more important than likability. (Though speaking of likability, I think what tipped Celestia over the line for me from "fun streak" to "troll" was asking to watch Twilight get interrogated. The staredown with Canary was beautiful, but something about the Twi-tweaking felt gratuitous.)
Pratchett! /) Seriously though, his Night Watch is so sublime it's almost harder not to steal them. For my own Princess Luna Picks Up Hitchhikers, I think I managed to file the serial numbers off of the Night
WatchGuard sufficiently, but it's inevitable to have at least some streak of Pratchett there. It helps that I don't have a Vimes analogue, but we'll be seeing in upcoming chapters that the Night Guard as a whole has the same sort of structure and role. (Plus, y'know, creepy ancient magic.)> I hope to see more thoughts from you as you read on!
I'll make a point of dropping some running commentary, though with a convention coming up this weekend it'll be a little while before I can get back to the story.
Best,
H
Excellent chapter all around!
I found myself largely glazing over the descriptions of Duri's living space, but her reaction to the sudoku was exquisite. One error to fix: At the end of chapter 2 they stayed up until dawn*, but now we're rewinding time and they are up and moving around and solving puzzles and killing time long before sunrise ...
I liked everything I saw out of this chapter's Celestia. Her tweaking of Canary doesn't seem cruel the way the jab at Twilight last chapter did. It helped a lot that it was ultimately in the service of upholding moral values and improving the Guard. Arguably, she could be trying to teach Twilight something in the same fashion by putting her through the interrogation, but ... it just feels different.
Just ... augh, it nearly broke my brain before I figured out that the whole scene with Canary and Blue (and Canary at the Gala) was all flashback. It meshed a little too cleanly with the previous material. I was trying to read it in sequence with the interrogation and everything just seemed off. I think you need to set that material off as unrelated more strongly.
* Went back and looked it up. It's more of an implied time skip than a directly stated one, but it still left me with a wrong assumption:
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That was actually absolutely intentional. =) I wanted the reader to read on as if it were going on in real time, and if you were really alert, you'd be able to pick up little... strangeness before the actual drop. I'm afraid I do this quite liberally in my fics, but it's not intended to confuse, but rather give that sort of 'ohhh... that's happening!' kind of reaction. So if you read on, you might want to keep in mind that I do... very often, play with the reader. =)
This one I admit to. I didn't handle Celestia very well in Chapter 2, and she honestly did come across as more of a 'troll' in that one. However, that was early days before I balanced everything. From now on, you can take the Celesta from ch.3 as the Celestia that exists in this fic.
And also while we're at it, I also agree that the time thingie was a bit badly handled at the end of this chapter too. One day I will go back and make all those little tweaks to fix everything... so thank you for pointing it out to me! It was meant to be implied, but it didn't do it well.
...
I remember reading this back when it was just GoogleDocs on EQD. I had just joined the fandom a week or two before, and I think it was one of the first fanfics I ever read. And I loved it so much.
Stumbling across it again, even if it is still unfinished, is wonderful. If you ever get around to writing more of it, that'd be fantastic. If not, it's still OK.
It's just... I'd like to thank you for writing one of the stories that got me into fanfiction.
Thanks.
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Hey, not a problem ^^;;;;
Actually... the reasons why this isn't complete are few and far between. I'm actually working on a new, better planned, much more cohesive epic fic in the same vein as TCW. Not that I'm not going to one day finish TCW, but somehow a lot of things just got in the way back then and I only started writing recently after a down spot.
I decided to try something new, and hopefully it'll be just as good. =)
Keep an eye out for it - It'll be called Romancing the Clouds and will be out soon.
And thank you so so much for the support. It means a lot. =)
Gotta say, this story deserves more recognition. I really liked it, good job.