• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2018

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

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Comments ( 92 )

0/10. Super gay.

Fuck it. It goes on the read later list. It's short enough that it won't take long to get to.

3980451
lol

thanks for making the first comment so positive, you nutbar.

EDIT: Note to everyone else who's thumbing down DannyJ up there. He's not serious. He's a good friend, and we're just joking around. Don't thumb him down, and don't hate him. He's a really nice guy. =)

3980459

I've also contributed a view, a like, a favourite and a comment (two now) to generate heat for the story and push it closer to featured, despite having not actually read it, purely because I know your writing style and know that I'll like it, which is something I never do because I believe in judging everything on its own merits. But I compromised my morals, for you, because I know that it'd make you slightly happier, so, you're fucking welcome. Jackass.

I'm just kidding. I could never stay mad at you.

3980470
Yeah, well, I'm mad at YOU, you... you DAFT PUNK.

Well at least I actually read the story. Silver Spoon redemption stories are always good for a read. Even if this one is only a small step on the long road Spoon would have to be fully "redeemed" as far as the characters in your story go. You've got a good style, and I really like the example Pinkie provides to show what she means. Yay metaphors! Like'd, Fave'd, commented, READ. Take that 3980479 !

I enjoyed this story, even if it had a simple plot behind it. Not much else to say except keep up the interestingly good work that we call your stories kitsune, well done! :pinkiesmile:

-frost

3980500
3980479

Come on, guys.... .... carpark fight! carpark fight!

(Thanks, adenbadens! Glad you enjoyed it. And yeah, long way to go, but the road to redemption is ALWAYS long, and... well... 3000 words isn't. :pinkiecrazy:)
(No thanks to you DannyJ you smell like fish.)

3980520
Hey! And thanks to you too for always coming around. It's always lovely to see a familiar face. =)
And thanks as always for the support.

Also... 'interestingly good work' :rainbowhuh: That wouldn't be said in the same way as we say, for example, 'this pie has a... curiously interesting flavour', would it? :twilightsmile:

I kid. Thank you for reading. =)

Ah a nice story to wake up to.

3980500 3980548

Well I was reading it before you guys interrupted me. GAWD.

(I was gonna leave it for the read later list because I had a thing to go to, but then I realised it wasn't actually for another half-hour or so, and all I was doing was watching all the funny bits from Avengers on YouTube, so I decided to get this out of the way first instead.)

3980582

That was exactly my face.

And I was always gonna read it. I read most things that my bro Rissie makes. I just take longer to get to some of it. I still need to read the rest of Romancing the Clouds and chapter three of Heart of Storms. I had originally planned to read this after I got back from my thing, but I had the times wrong and could manage it now.

Speaking of, actual comment related to the story (omg what?!) in just a second.

And DONE.

Brief summary of my thoughts:

-Minimalist style I see. I was confused by your approach until I saw that it was for a competition.
-Much less verbose than your usual prose, but it works considering the perspective character you've taken. Silver Spoon's language would be a lot more simple. It shows a good consideration towards character voicing.
-Though it's no fault of your own due to the constraints that you were under, I did feel that Silver Spoon's relationship with her family and Diamond Tiara was underdeveloped, and we didn't really see enough of either. Were you allowed to write a longer story, I'd have liked to see these elements expanded.
-Not much actual dialogue except when Pinkie was involved. I like that. It gives the piece its own recognisable feel and puts more focus on Pinkie's part.
-Speaking of Pinkie, good use of her character here. Just like with Dreamflow, I think you really understand how to use her effectively, and she was a good addition to the fic.
-Considering I already favourited this, I'm glad that my gamble paid off and it was mostly good. Never doing that again. Only for you, Rissie. Only for you.

Final thoughts:

9/10 - It's shit.

3980459

Also I am not a nice guy at all you lying fuck.

My thoughts on the story? This: 3980598

3980603
I don't believe that for a second.

3980598

I did feel that Silver Spoon's relationship with her family and Diamond Tiara was underdeveloped, and we didn't really see enough of either

No shit. Neither does Silver Spoon. There's even a point where Silver tried to move the pictures on the mantle closer and pretend they were the actual ponies because she doesn't spend a lot of time with her family and she's lonely. And DT is the reason Silver is "tarnished" in the first place.


3980603 Well not with that attitude!

3980699
Heya! Thanks for the... agreement! Haha. But thank you for reading. =)


3980598
3980703

Silver Spoon's relationship with her family and Diamond Tiara was underdeveloped

Yeah, pretty much it was impossible to hammer in a scene, so I had to make everything very contextual. Honestly, if I had more space to play with, I'd have expanded the home scene and added another home scene near the end. I wouldn't have actually shown the parents, because the distance needs to be maintained, but I would have given more longwinded descriptions of shit.

Can't be helped, though. I really wanted to write a story that wasn't just 'shit happens and people walk away friends'. I actually wanted to show the transition within the text, which... man. It was hard. But I think I got most of my classic style down.

Curing badness with kindness, check.
Over elaborate analogy/metaphor, check.
Inventing stupid words like 'Scootaboard', check.

However, to Adenbadens' credit, I'm glad that the message was sent across very clearly that her family sucks and Diamond is Silver's enabler. So it worked fine in the end.

Speaking of Pinkie, good use of her character here. Just like with Dreamflow, I think you really understand how to use her effectively, and she was a good addition to the fic.

Shaddup, I hate pinkie and I casent' wroted Piknkee well. Pinkee is wuertst pone. :pinkiesick:

Comment posted by KitsuneRisu deleted Feb 21st, 2014

I gotta say, I love the cover image. That is a nice cover image.

3980770
In all seriousness; I have to say that this is one of those fics that I had no idea how it'd be coming in, and was just blown away by how it was written. Very... I hesitate to say 'simple,' because it really wasn't. I guess the easiest way to say it is how DannyJ did, 'minimalistic.' Which I honestly really enjoy when a writer can pull that off, while still getting their point across.
Before I end up babbling on, and senselessly repeating what others have said prior, let me just cut myself off.

I loved it. One of the best stories I've read in quite a while, and one that I will probably read multiple times. Keep up the amazing writing, Kitsune.


The last line of that comment...
quickmeme.com/img/a9/a99176f17f98d40c567bce80a2707a2090dddb5e93468bca673bcc1b69c4ecf8.jpg

3980817 Yea, I actually had to re-read it several times before I figured out what it said.
Well.. actually, just what "casent'" was.

I'm still not....entirely sure:rainbowhuh:

3980783
Glad it was good enough for a fave :twistnerd: Thanks for the support, Else. :yay:


3980817
Oh no! I'm so sorry. I really hope my comment didn't come across as mean or anything. I wasn't fishing for a comment, honestly! I just try to respond to everyone who comments as a personal philosophy, and I sometimes like making little jokes here and there. I really hope I didn't sound like I was expecting anything more!

I am genuinely very happy for each and every read, and... honestly, now I feel bad because I feel like you had come back and write that lovely, lovely comment for my sake.

But I will gladly accept it because it's a beautiful comment. Thank you so much for reading! And thanks for your continued support!

And yes, that last line is a beaut, isn't it?
3980831 'casent'' means exactly what it means, you dorks. It's noate thaeat harc to ernd wut I'm tyngn. But f444for smtreaosnn it gets bfad when AI strt to tlk aboujt Peeeeknie Peh. Wo84t pone EVAR. :pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick: <- loak at dat shi tfcsace

3980860
:derpytongue2: You worry too much. I was originally going to comment with something along the lines of my second comment, and then I saw DannyJ's... well thought-out, and worded comment, (Which I agreed with for the most part.) The main reason I came back and commented was that I honestly feel this story is deserving of more than just my mediocre 'This.'


Was that end bit even language? :rainbowhuh: Or did you just mash your face into the keyboard and call it good?

This was a pretty nice read! I don't really have much I could add that DannyJ and everyone else haven't already said, though... :applejackconfused:

And I'm always happy to help; you were no bother, I promise you. :twilightsmile:

ITT: Lots of DannyJ.

3980703

Well, I get that. What I meant was that I would have wanted something more like... like...

3980770

Oh. Like this, actually. Basically what Rissie describes here.

(Also, no. YOU are worst pone.)

My particular (and peculiar) headcanon has always said: "Silver Spoon can be saved." (Diamond Tiara, maybe not so much.) I feel semi-vindicated.

Muh feels...

So now we see how twisted up on the inside Silver Spoon is, a spoiled but neglected child with a family that's too busy to even notice her really. She only feels some kind of emotion when she was bossed around by Tiara because she thought she was a 'actual' friend. Everyone else despised her because they know how she acts, she's so alone in the end. At least she has some sense left in her, to actually help the crusaders out and know she's not some lost cause.

This.

This is an awesome tale of redemption.

Could almost feel the pain she had.

Loved it, man. This was a keeper.

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh wow, I've always wanted one of these stories to fall into my lap. Thanks, Skeeter!
I shall read after work.

3980900
I mashed my face into Pinkie and it was bad. :pinkiesick:


3981324
You butt. Stop being so nice, you butt. :c


3981627
>U R worst pone :O
>WHAT DO?!


3981689
I always felt the same way too. Mainly, because she has glasses. And no pony with glasses is truly evil (see: Twist; Fashion-Maven Rarity). This story is really about her glasses.


3982230
They cannot take Pinkie of this magnitude!

3983118
Yeah! You get it. Thanks for reading!

3983711
Awww, thanks for the badge, man! That's pretty damn awesome. I'll update my main page with it right now. =)

3984576

Haha, I do what I can!

Enjoyable fic, all the same.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3984581
It's the little things that make a writer feel like it's all worth it. Sometimes it's getting a badge. Sometimes it's people setting fire to a bunch of cars in madness caused by the reading of your fic.

This time... it was getting a badge, and that's probably the more preferable outcome to the two. :twistnerd:

3984593

Badges are always awesome, right?

You're very welcome. This is so deserving of it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3984576 No, you can't make me! neener-neener-neener! :rainbowwild:

Excellent story. Have a like and a fave.

Welp, I finally got to you. I finally read this.
You're quite the story-teller. Have three tokens of my esteem. And thank Skeeter, too. It's his fault.

You have my attention.

Time to set some cars on fire!

Seriously though, I loved it. For something so short it just.. Painted those empty spaces, in her family, in her head, in her life so beautifully.

And I'm a sucker for an ending with hope. :ajsmug:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This mess gave me chills.

4038774
Yeah, I couldn't help it. It was 3000 words. I was a challenge to balance everything out. Guess it came out more wubbly than I thought! Would you mind telling me which bits you found too uneven so that I can consider stuff for the future?

Kinda glad I gave this a try, even though I uh, kinda hate SS and DT... but Silver Spoon is an alright character now...


I guess, all it took was a bit of elbow grease (this story) to make the spoon (Silver Spoon) shine. :D

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

4039656
wut

this was fucking brilliant, m8, wot r u on about

4039961
Haha! Shining puns. >_>;
No but I kid. I kinda disliked those too as well. So I wanted to write a story where... yeah. I guess it did its job. :rainbowlaugh:
But DT is beyond redemption, that little bitch.

4040543
What?
Oh sorry. I had just woken up at 6 am after 3 hours of sleep because, and I wish I was making this up, I had the conclusion dream of a series of nightmares in which I had to meet a mafia doctor to make up for a series of mistakes that I had committed, and it resulted in my mother having her legs cut off and placed into a gigantic specimen jar as means of punishment for getting involved with 'things I didn't understand', but it was going to be alright because 'they might reattach her legs later on' and she'd probably be fine.

Welcome to my world.

But anyway, I saw the comment and I thought you meant that this story was such a mess that you were shuddering throughout. :facehoof:

And then I went straight back to sleep.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

4040824
you silly biscuit, I wouldn't say such things :|

get more sleep

4040854
I'M SLEEPING RIGHT NOW, PP.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

4040862
OKAY I WILL BE QUIET NOW

This was an extremely well-written story that I thoroughly enjoyed reading, I guess.

I guess.

4044672
*furiously polishes you*
Thank you for the fave and all your support ^_^

My scootaboard! They broke my scootaboard!

And for calling it that, you deserve to have it broken.

I mean… just buy another one. Right? Not like it’s such a big loss or anything.

So we're doing a stupid Spoon, then.

So you know what? You deserve it, Scootaloo. You and your stupid broken scootaboard or whatever you call it.

Stupid name.

See? I'm influencing today's youth. I'm such a good role model.

We take ourselves away from the babies, and we say our goodbyes as we part for home. Well, Diamond never really says ‘goodbye’. She says ‘be here tomorrow, got it?’ but I know what she means.

She’ll have another plan. She’ll have some sort of thing to do to make sure the babies of the world get what they deserve for yelling at us.

Dear Celestia, I hope Tiara doesn't share that attitude. Because it doesn't really matter what Spoon thinks; she's just a follower. But an attitude like that on somepony who can actually make her own decisions . . . that would be somepony who's going to grow up to be a serial killer.

Turned out that Diamond had it too. She said hers bothered her, like mine did. And she said not to worry. She said just to do what she said and it’d go away.

Born cult leader, that one. Born cult leader and budding threat to society. I fear this may be a bit of a problem in the future.

See, some kinds of thoughts make them meaner. And some things help keep them away for a while, like stepping on leaves.

Alright, fine, I admit it. You've outpaced me. I'm not sure if we're talking voices or compulsions or what here. So I'm just going to have to call them both schizOCD for the moment.

My house is warm when I enter. The maid put the fireplace on. She does everything around here. She’s the one who brings the warmth to the house. Food would be waiting in my room, too, just like it always has. I don’t know why we have such a big dining hall. We never seem to use it for anything.

Symbolism! Symbolism that makes use of the INTIMACY is WARMTH metaphor! Very fundamental metaphor, that one.
There's other stuff referenced too, of course, but it doesn't relate obviously to anything I've learned recently.

I used to move them around, and pretend they were real. I’d shift them closer together, but mommy would always move them back, and tell me not to upset them. They were good where they were.

So much symbolism.

Then there were the stairs that wound up to my room. Wide and curvy, you could never bump into anyone else going the opposite direction.

All the symbolism.

The place is the same as always. A lot of smiling faces. A lot of happy ponies gathered around. It’s bright here, much brighter than it is outside, and I always come here to stare. I always find myself doing so – staring at the other kids, staring at faces, thinking about other families.

Not thinking about anything in particular. Just… thinking.

Thinking about the schitzOCD complex you have because your parents don't love you?
. . . I shouldn't be mocking this poor filly like that. But I really wanted to say "schitzOCD complex."

I guess.

If nothing else, I hope that this story teaches you how to commit to a thought.

Nothing new. I’ve been given that talk. I just get up and leave, usually. Others don’t need to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. I don’t care. What I do helps me, and I don’t care.

I’m about to leave. It’s obvious that Scootaloo’s been around, whining and getting others to pick on me.

I don't think you could possibly delude yourself enough to believe that Pinkie has it in her to pick on anypony. I just don't think it's possible.

Who asked you to pretend to care? To pretend to understand how I feel? Why can’t you let me solve my own problems my way?

So I just learned something. There are certain sentences which trigger me to roll my eyes, get annoyed at the protagonist, and instantly enjoy the story less. That is rather unfortunate, I'm sure anybody would agree. I am judging this spoon for superficial features, and now I have nothing to eat my parfait with. And who doesn't want to eat parfait?
Just because something is a cliche does not mean I should instinctively react like it's a poorly handled cliche.
. . . I have a sneaking suspicion that normal people do not leave critiques of themselves in the comments. That's good. It would be terrible to be normal.

Or maybe the dirty spoon can’t ever be clean! Have you not thought of that either? Like you said, spoons can’t clean themselves, so what do you expect it to do?

Ask for help. She was happy to ask for help, help from you for helping you, and you refused. That was pretty rude, really.

For the next few hours we work, restoring the scootaboard back to… well, it would never be the same. Some things break forever, it seems.

I hadn’t realised.

Symbolism.

The room is as cold as ever. Lonely as ever. The games that daddy bought – the ones for ‘two players or more’ – still sit unused.

I think this may be laying it on a teensy bit too thick. Not that I'm unwilling to believe that Spoon and Tiara never came back to Spoon's house and played games, mind you . . . it just feels like too much to me.

4046372
Hallo!
Yes, mainly, I had to resort to certain cliches for a few reasons. I don't particularly like them either, but I figured when you're writing in the voice of a what.. 10 year old kid, or however old SS is, they kind of think more in terms of cliches than others. I was in fact worried that some of the things I said was a bit TOO advanced for the thoughts of a child. Besides that, the other reason was this terribly nasty 3000 word limit. I was cutting corners everywhere, and as you can see from the other comments, a lot of people found this uncharacteristically minimalist of me. Still though, I did my best. That's all I can ask of from myself, and it seems to have been received well despite some of my... ahem... sleep-deprived self-esteem colouring one or two things >_>;

Yes. Symbolism. Yay! Hooray for breezies!

And as for the last bit about it being laid too thick? It's not that Tiara never had the opportunity to. It's that Spoon never wanted to play those games with her. It is a thought meant to reflect choices rather than a piteous circumstance. :duck:

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