• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2018

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

T

Life can be hard.

But for a young man named Travis, at least there’s a place he can run to.

A place where he has friends. ~ A place where he has understanding.

A place he can call home.

(Rated T for language use)
The Most Dangerous Contest Entry

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 50 )

Ten outta ten. Ten outta ten. Hundred outta hundred. Best story. Best story.

No, but really, I am glad to see that this monster is finally up on the site. I feel partially responsible for it now. I can only hope that it does not lead you down into a neverending spiral of misery and despair, as has been known to happen to first-time HiE writers.

4608532
I'm only gonna write HiE from now on

This is spooky.

It also feels like something of a takedown of the Mary Sue archetype.

Wow...Kitsune that was simply another good story. It was interesting and I will honestly admit that I hate that "bitch-boss" OC you have created, reminds me too much of an ex-boss of mine... Wow was not expecting that for the ending but was totally worth reading and favouriting as usual.

You are a good writer and once again I shall say this again. I like the way that you write stories, you come up with interesting ideas and you maintain each pony character on par. You can draw us in so much that we forget that its just a fanfiction story. You can provide us with vivid imagary compared to some writers out there (I don't mean any offense to other authors out there).

Keep up the good work as always!

-Frost :pinkiesmile:

...............Wow.

Just wow.

This was pretty damn good, man.

~Skeeter The Lurker

That ending.
It was like I was living inside my own head.
Multiple voices of personalities joined me.
All coinciding to handle my future decisions.
This deserves more than 18 some-odd likes.
:moustache:

That... was fucking deep. Holy shit.

I can't really tell much of what went on because it was so vague, but with this story that's a good thing. 10/10

This is some pretty magnificent characterization of a not-at-all-magnificent dude. Nice.

JEsus fucking christ

As an occasional practitioner of that much-maligned genre -- I have no idea whether I've actually made it more so -- I'm tempted to borrow a hat from Applejack, just so I can take it off to you.

Well done.

:applecry:

It's a telling detail, which only becomes more relevant the further the story goes, that Pinkie is effectively removed from all conversations right from the beginning. There's layers and layers to this. I dig.

4610755
Always nice when they're noticed :ajsmug:

4609938
Can't help you now :rainbowdetermined2:

4609446
I suppose it gets clearer on the second read, once you know what's really going on.

4608656
Haha, thanks very much! Also, remember that sometimes impressions of others through a lens can get different results. I'm not sure the boss was as bad as she actually is in real life. =)

Very cool. Pinkie Pie reminded him of his boss, as they both acted eerily similar (smiling, bouncing around the shop, etc) that Travis essentially blocked her out of his 'conversations'.

How interesting. I'll have to think more on this.

Good job Kitsune I think this is the best one outta the entries I've read so far.

This read like eating tinfoil.
It was very, very good, even though it made me feel bad.
I...suppose I'll upvote this, even though I want to not want to upvote it

Got DAYUM.

I knew this was gonna be intense, but I wasn't expecting that. :twilightoops:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Fuck you, fuck fucking brilliant son of a bitch.

Also your fartsock's showing

#YOLO

*stops reading*

...

...

*continues reading*

I can't believe he chucked the Pinkie Pie figure! He truly is spiraling down a drain of his own design. If only he'd had a Spike toy, I like to think he would've imagined it saying, "Dude...quit being a dick."

Well done. Absolutely well-written all the way and through all the layers, a deconstruction like no other and so sharp. I found myself hoping as I read that there would be more things that would separate him from myself, and it really made me think about my own person... Kitsune you magnificent bastard.

I. . . I'm so confused. So from my perspective I got this out of the story:
1. The narrator is a self-entitled socially awkward jerk.
2. Everything was all inside his head.
3. He committed suicide in the end?

Please correct me if I am wrong on any of those.

You have a talent. I immediately despised the narrator of the story amd hoped he would die sometime during the course of it. I'm hoping that's what actually happened, but I could be wrong.

Why are you so viscerally against HiE stuff in the author's notes? You sound like you want to punch people for even suggesting it.

4685534 I don't think he committed suicide at the end. Seems like he just stopped listening to the show's positive messages and simply enjoyed the pones.

Though to be honest I think my understanding of the fic isn't all that great either.

4685534
No. He stopped questioning himself.

The ponies represented different thoughts and angles. They let him doubt himself safely. But he refused to do it anymore, because then he'd have to admit to being wrong, because he was. He'd have to admit to not being special.

He couldn't do that.

4706089
So he pretty much withdrew from all society and became a pretentious person who genuinely believes they know absolutely everything and everyone else is wrong with no redeeming factors?

Allow me to use a quote from the excellent The Fionavar Tapestry to illustrate my thoughts on the main character. Ahem.

Monster of arrogance!

There, I said it. My GOD! He's insufferable. He's a real person, he feels like a real person, and damn if I don't have a love-hate relationship with that character. He's just such a jackass that you know he exists somewhere, with those exact thoughts. ARGH!

Good job, author. Good job.

Big fan, many thumbs. God, that guy reads real.

4690424

Why are you so viscerally against HiE stuff in the author's notes? You sound like you want to punch people for even suggesting it.

It's really just a joke at my own expense of being a closed-minded fob. I don't mean it. At the very most, I share the same opinion that birthed the contest in the first place - that stories in that genre tend to suffer things and contain elements that by its nature do not make it a good read inherently, unless you are already into that kind of thing.

4706683
The story is open to interpretation but Titanium Dragon pretty much got the gist of it right as to how I was writing it. He didn't die, he just went deeper into an irreparable depth of self-denial.

This story was a real highlight. It is easily going to be one of my all time favorites and it makes me feel bad about what I have in my current favorites list.

The level of immersion this story creates is so high that you could almost call it a consciousness stream. It was just such a great read because of that.

Keep up the good work. In my opinion your writing is worthy of being published. Please never stop. (I might be slightly biased because I like to read this kind of fiction.)

-Signed Cogs, just another faithful fan.

Goddamn these human loving Equestria fics. That's all that EVER seems to be when it concerns a human. They love the fucking place and they have no spine.

A constance.

Hey, I wrote a review for this story. If you are interested, it can be found here.

I love this, even if the fact that we have to follow this protagonist gets on my nerves. The psychological aspect is amazing, and I love the usage of the unreliable narrator.

5464382
Hi, Soge. I'm so sorry it took me this long to get to this, but I've been away from FimFic for a few months now. But yes, I've seen the review, and yes I'm always interested! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I appreciate it, and I'll be adding it to my list of thingie things on my front page.

Thank you again! =)

It is a good thing that Travis can go to Equestria for blowing off steam or he might have a psychotic break.

Wow, I... I don't get it :twilightblush:

Friendship is Optimal has been my go-to choice when linking or recommending a sample fic to those outside the fandom. Now, I have a better one. A lot shorter, and much more easily relatable.

I'll spare my words. They're useless in comparison.

Maybe I can take a remedial math class?

One can hope.

6413357
I'm worried what others will think of bronies if they read this, though. ^^;

6413459
1 + 1 = Pi

Y'know, I always believed you were an exceptional writer, but this? This abomination? It's just plain absurd. It's not writing. It's not a story. It's not even a shard of a daydream.

This? This is reality help captive in lines of prose.

There is nothing left to be said, from reader to author.

You've won.

6413686
In my experience, this is already how they see us.

This is possibly the most depressing thing I've ever read.

6414660
Probably best not to reinforce negative stereotypes.

6414030
Where's my trophy you dirty cheapskate? =O

6414660
Oh. No harm then eh. =D

6415957

This is possibly the most depressing thing I've ever read.

I'm glad I made your day! =D

...holy shit dude

I don't think I've ever read a story of descent into sociopathy from the inside

A++++ 120%/10 but please please i am never ever reading something like this again right before bed. :applecry:

I hated Travis from paragraph two.

Brilliant portrayal of a young man refusing to become anything more than a childish brat.

I've typed out several attempted responses to this masterpiece now, and none of them seemed in any way adequate.

There are no words. Except one. That word is:
What

I... I don't know exactly what to feel. When you look at the ending, it points out the basis of other HiE stories - just wanting this accepting environment, even thought it isn't... real. At the beginning of the story I tried to get into the mind of Travis but had difficulty doing so. I could understand his desire to escape, to escape to somewhere he would be accepted. He also wanted to feel better than those around him, didn't care what others thought... and essentially stopped caring about them too. This story has really made me think about bronies and why we do this. This is... interesting. I think the reasons I had difficulty pinning down my emotions during the end paragraphs was that the dream was familiar, but empty. I feel as though I've thought of this before. You want to be loved, but love is only true if it is by choice. Love without choice is not love.
I can't believe this story led me back to a point... about God.

When you love, you have to accept the possibility that they might not love you back.
I won't make this into a sermon.
Thank you.

That was unpleasant, but I rather liked it anyway. I hate this character, and yet I also worry about him.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!