• Member Since 11th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

AmethystAce


I'm just a Lawbringer that occasionally writes HiE. Move along.

T

Jacob Feles was on his way home when he has a terrible accident and is thrown into a world that is not his own. A world where the dominant nation is run by herbivorous ponies. Now he must try to live his life in world that is not his own and a body that was not his original one.

Anthro tag is only for the main character. Story begins after "Lesson Zero" (S2 E3). The sex tag is only for some jokes.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 24 )

Not a bad start at all as far as HIE stories go. Ill give you a thumbs up and a follow just to see where you plan on taking this.

The Monk

The paragraphs were supposed to be indented, I swear. Please don't hurt me.:fluttercry:

That's controlled by a setting on the readers' end now, so don't worry about it.

"I looked like a some furries OC. Except without all of the edginess."

Oooooo

https://youtu.be/7Svrcatw0TY

And que pitchforks and torches.

I left to Rarity's place with a bit of a spring in my step. I don't care what happens, today's a good day!

Dis gunna be Gudd

Now can I que pitchforks and torches?

Gee, you think.

I have a question to all the authors who write these HIE stories. Don't you think that it is ridiculous at all, that you all write Rainbow Dash as a rabid, unhinged nut job that attacks anything non pony instantly on sight. OK, yes, there could be one or two stories where rainbow sees somebuggy and instantly and rabidly attacks them on first sight. But come on 30 stories, 60 stories, If you go by fan fiction, there is a rabid, foaming at the mouth pegasus flying around ponyvill viciously attacking anything she sees instantly on sight.

Stop it. Come up with something new. There are 1000 stories on here where you could copy pasta of each other.

How about some new rules.

The character has been in equestria and DOES NOT DO THE BEATEN TO DEATH MEETING WITH THE MAIN 6 They are cookie cutter any way, whats the point.

Rule 2 No more main character with a sex phobia where they hyperventilate in a paperbag any time the scene remotely gets suggestive.

Rule 3, Beating to death the polygamy angle FOR CHAPTERS. One of my favorite stories on here that i listen to regularly has a main character that has a phobia about herds and polygamy. I understand it. Don't beat me to death with it. Most of you just go on, and on, and on, and on.

you guys are ruining your stories doing this. For example in the story "Herding Instincts" the character makes a sexual mistake and they beat him to death with it for chapter, after chapter, after chapter, after chapter. They fixed it, but dam near lost their following.

Come on, we are an aging group of Bronies, watching a show that is 7 or 8 years long in the tooth. You can't tell me this cookie cutter generic stuff is the best we can do? Nothing new, nothing creative?

To the Author of this story. This is not meant for you and don't take it personal. There is a thing called cultural or genre in breeding, where a tight knit group of Authors who only read each others works, begin copying each other in negative ways. On this sight, for example in the past, this manifested in the word "Chuckled" Every story had the main character chuckle. Not giggle, or laugh, or titter. Ok you say whats the big deal. One of the more popular Authors on here. One I admire, wrote a story where the OC "Chuckled" so often that it became sexually creepy. It really does begin to ruin the stories.

Just think about what your writing. Would EVERY first meeting with flutter shy be the same way? No. In the real world we have good days and bad days, and sick days, and DONT SCREW WITH ME days.

Everyling here is an amateur, but you are still Authors. Be careful of Author Inbreeding.

The Monk

8763809
I do understand where you are coming from, and I'll admit, I am using SO many cliches in this story. To be honest, the purpose of this story was to flex my writing muscles a bit to see if I could do it.

I am very appreciative of your criticism. It is these kind of responses that are needed if I am ever to improve. I have been putting off my rewrite of A Diamond In The Rough until I could get good enough to stray away from the absolute cliche, and it is stuff like this that reminds me that I still have much to learn on writing.

So once more, thank you for taking the time to read this and giving your input.:twilightsmile:

Lol. I especially like the rationalist urge to not assume Fluttershy is sapient.

It all depends on what the character sees of course.

It is just unique to see it being applied here. Loekd and looking forward to see where this goes.

Nice. I think the only reason this has such low likes is that it is labeled anthro.

For the longest time I avoided stories labeled that and while I understand the main character is an anthro the ponies are not.

Just food for thought. So far pretty good.

Well as much as I would like the truth to be the best policy his actions are logical.


Especially if he has no for knowledge of ponyville. Besdies it could.work out either way even knowing that.

'Stay out of my shed!'

Again lol. Good reference.

Lol. Excellent. For the Emperor on the golden throne!

Wow. The complaints.

Ouch.

Not really. Putting rehasss to the side there are plenty of non rehashes out there. Also this story is not a full on rehasgmh at all.

If you want varietty give me a message. As long as I am not on a deployment I will attempt to give you a reference to something you might think is unique.

Otherwise just keep searching. There really are alot of interesting and unique angled fics on this site.

9054561
I read that and started singing.
NA NA NA gonna eat your brains.

Dude I hope they continue this story, so far I really loved it! :twilightsmile:
And what a cliffhanger we have been left with! Lol

Hell yeah they fucked up!

Hope it all goes well for him, glade to see you are back.

oh wow glad to see both you and this story back! and even if it was a short chapter its also a nice introduction to the griffons!
the only downside was needing to read the whole story again to remember what exactly was happening because its been a while :twilightsheepish:

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